Let Them

Day 30:  Reflect on this year’s spiritual theme — what word or lesson has shaped your journey?

2025's theme was inspired by my good friend, Mel Robbins. =)

Her bestseller book came out on Christmas Eve 2024, and I quickly listened to every word.  I loved the concept enough to choose it as my theme for 2025...

And I promptly bought the hoodie!

In a year that included applying for and starting the doctorate, several counseling and CR job interviews and career decisions, hard medical news and adoption decisions, gradually shifting family dynamics, and another opportunity to move or stay put... it was really good to be reminded repeatedly that most people will not understand all of my decisions... and that the great, great majority of people will not even care enough to check in or read about them and will not be personally affected by whatever I choose (see my "David, nobody cares" post).  No one else has to live your life, and no other flawed human being FULLY understands your perspective.  Lean on God, and let people misunderstand.

For right now, I have chosen court reporting over counseling, job security over unknown risk factors, pursuing more school over settling without it, honoring others' dignity over forcing what I believe is best for them, letting go of the embryo adoption path and doing my best to trust God with my future family hopes.  Decision-wise, this was undoubtedly the most difficult year of my life (other years have been difficult based on things outside my control; this time, a lot of it was up to me, which was challenging in new ways).  The Let Them theory -- and lots of good talks with Emily, Chet, Mom, Kristin, and other friends and professors -- helped me!!  Our lifegroup study on boundaries has also been well-timed.  A good reminder that sometimes the best course is to give others less access rather than hoping they will become better and more responsible with what you've offered them... this cheesy Christmas song meme made me laugh and think about that!

Thanks for sticking with me through this month of 36 blog posts! lol  Happy last day of November, friends!  I hope and pray that you have a lovely December ahead!

Friendly Reminder:

Let them misunderstand.

Let them be confused.

You're responsible for knowing what's right FOR YOU.

You're responsible for making decisions you can live with.

You're responsible for trusting yourself enough

that someone else's confusion doesn't shake your clarity...

They're seeing your decision through their limits, 

their fears, their life experiences.

It's not your responsibility to make people understand.

Let them.

Let them be confused,

And let me be clear.

Let them question me,

And let me stand firm in a simple answer.

Let them have their opinions,

And let me have my boundaries. 

Let them disagree.

Let me keep going.

Let them not get it.

Let me stop explaining myself.

Let them talk.

Let me live.

~Mel

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Finishing Strong

One more post here tonight, and then one final November Blog Challenge post tomorrow!! ❤

They've posted some of the Route 66 official race photos (all available free, which is sooo appreciated)!  Ironically, they haven't posted any pics of Chet with Evan, Mark, or Daniel yet, and only a couple with Jeff - so hopefully they'll keep adding those in, but I was very happy to see these today.  If someone had to be first, I volunteer as tribute. lol  YAY for Finish Line pics with Chettles!!

This was like two seconds into my relay leg (by Tulsa University).  We posed it up for the photographer stationed there, then as we got closer, Chet was like, "Oh, hey Ben!"   Of course he would know the photographer! lol

This = Chet posing it up and me being fully oblivious to this photographer! lol

JEM and Chet nearing the relay exchange zone (I think).

Moving toward the Finish Line, me taking pics of Daniel and Lisa cheering for Chet!

We ❤ running! lol  False.  But we will smile for photos!!

Done!!

At Friendsgiving (later that night), Kantrell asked about how we all got into running or signing up for races, and I had a very immediate answer of Tara from The Biggest Loser!  Back in 2008-2009, she ran a Half-Marathon on the show, and it inspired me and gave me the courage to sign up at Fitness Together and train for the Route 66 Half that year.  In 2010, at least 7 other DDLG friends ran it and we all got a fun pic together afterwards.  Anyway, not all of what I learned from that show was helpful, but I'm grateful for the positive motivation to try signing up for a race... that's been a fun and productive hobby off and on over the last 16 years!

In other news, the wonderful Wilsons joined me today at the final home game for OSU!  Here's our windblown pic on the walk in - Vivian did not approve!

Even with the cold weather, the shirtless guys were going strong, and the inflatable shark in the midst of them brought me joy! lol

We sat inside and snacked and chatted through the first half, then ventured out for the 3rd quarter and one final round with Garth for this season! =)  Thanks again to Dad for the club tickets!!

Happy Saturday, friends and fam!  It's been a delightful and productive Thanksgiving week, and I very much enjoyed the break from work and school!!  Now I'm gearing up to finish strong for the final two weeks of the CCU research courses and the calendar year 2025 and my season of working at the Cleveland County Courthouse!

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Phoenix Rising

Day 29:  What activity, place, or experience makes you feel most like yourself?

Hard for me to answer this one.  To be honest, I adore my house.  I designed and built it, and the rooms and decor feel more and more like a good reflection of me!  For the great most part, it's just me here, and as an introvert who is rarely bored and tends to enjoy my own company and/or listening to podcasts and audiobooks, that works out pretty well for me! 

In sharp contrast to that (and probably as a way of balancing it out)... I wasn't fully aware of this before COVID made me crave it, but I really love to be in a crowd of people having a shared fun or awe-inspiring experience.  It's why I prefer theater movies to watching at home, why I so enjoy being at sporting events even when I don't care much for the sports, and why I feel oddly at home in the bright lights and big city vibes of Las Vegas or NYC.  So while I love outdoor walks, home, and a good brunch... I would say I "feel most like myself" when I'm with people who value me!

Shifting gears, my favorite Black Friday purchase of 2025 = this official Peloton bike (from my neighbor and LG friend, Katie)!! #getexcited

Katie helped me bring it inside... I bought the bike for $300 and restarted my $13/month digital membership, so huzzah... this will be the Peloton Era 2.0 as I start my work-from-home routine next year!

I'm super jazzed about it! lol

This = me being excited to try the real bike for the first time at my Dallas Doubletree hotel in August! =)

I've been a fan since 2020.  I thought it had fully burned out, but it's rising back up, along with a few other things.  I'm thinking phoenix will be my word for 2026 - with the hopeful theme of rising from the ashes, beauty for ashes, resurrection of things I thought were done.

That's all for this post!

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Hidden Talents & Family Pics

Day 28:  What’s something you’re surprisingly good at that most people wouldn’t guess about you?

1). Remembering dates, nonsense trivia, and song lyrics.

2). Starting over/ reinvention.

3). Deflecting.

Not much would surprise regular blog readers at this point, but that's a very small group.  Happy Black Friday, friends, and here are some fun pics from our Thanksgiving dinner at Justin and Anna's last night! ❤

Cousin Pic with Kristin Michelle!

16 kids there this year, including two sets of twins!

The Peavler Crew (+ Hites and Dewberry families)

The Lock Crew (+ Whitaker Family)

Al, Clara, Hilary, and Amelia!

Whitaker fam!

Parrishes (minus T&C)!

Muecke fam (+ Parrishes)

Charlene, Dad, Mom, Nancy, Gene, Georgia, and Alan!

Mom (getting sick) and the mini Miss K (recovering from sickness).  Praying for recovery for both of them and for Chet!

Hope you enjoyed Thanksgiving,
and hope it's a fantastic long weekend ahead!!

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Thanksgiving Prayer

Day 27:  Write a prayer of thanks for this year’s blessings, challenges, and lessons.

Father God, 

I love You, I worship You, and I trust You.

Thank You for being faithful and kind and protective and empowering, weaving everything together for the good of those who love You!

Thank You for ALL the daily blessings and small joys You've given me, along with the big events and happy things You planned long ago for me to enjoy and celebrate in 2025 -- Mom's 70th birthday, a trip with Triston and a solo trip to NYC, Judge Golden's retirement, Jaceman becoming a teenager and stepping out of elementary school, Abby's graduation, a trip with Mom and a solo trip to Colorado, graduating with my Masters and stepping into CCU's doctoral program, Triston starting his Senior year and getting promising news on college scholarships, reaching a weight-loss milestone, training for and finishing a full marathon, Rach passing the CPC-A exam, adopting embryos, starting my LPC-Candidacy, Ashley Campbell's book release, finding my Heal Out Loud lifegroup community, the Wilsons' pregnancy and gender reveal party, Frankie's new job, Marilyn's recovery, having a paid-off home, the global impact of the Bible app, getting to join Chet for his marathon finish line, remixing my home and setting up a great office space, and landing a new job I'm truly excited to start next month!!  Thank You for the close relationships that make all of the above more meaningful and beautiful to me!

Thank You for Your timing and guiding my steps and challenging me to grow in new ways this year -- for being with me and for me even as I received more painful medical news at Dallas IVF, for giving me all the courage and relational support I needed to finally step back from the adoption path, for timely books and podcasts, for repentance and grace, for meaningful counseling sessions with Emily and consistent support and wisdom from Chet Lee, for the defining mentorship of Dr. Burkhart (and wise words from Dr. Elliott and Dr. Robinson) that challenged me to stay in the PhD program when I wanted to leave, for challenging me to step up in integrity, for wisdom to navigate hard situations with aging parents, for prompting a timely friendship connection and for the beautiful ceremony honoring the life of Kristen Harriss, for what I learned through rejection and confusion as I applied and interviewed for so. many. jobs. this year, for supportive friends and family, for what You taught me through my clients and how you worked through me in counseling sessions at ITS, for a growing and shifting understanding about my future career path, and for increasing calm and clarity after a lot of inner chaos in 2025.  Thank You for Your faithfulness and for the legit gift of writing to help me process ALL of the above!!

Thank You for Your promise that You never abandon us and that nothing can separate us from Your love.  Thank You for the cloud of witnesses cheering me on and for the anchoring hope of spending eternity with You.  Thank You for rich conversations, good music and books and movies, football games, outdoor walks, family dinners, naps, volleyball tournaments, ballet recitals, school programs, birthday celebrations, live musicals, delicious food, fun projects, growing friendships, all the things I'm learning, and all the things I am so looking forward to -- and thank You that Heaven will be a serious upgrade on everything we love and enjoy here!  Thank You for the quiet failures, the funerals, rejection letters, hard conversations, painful goodbyes, ambiguous grief, and other sharp reminders of our human frailty (that we are all subject to death and decay here) - and for the way these things increase our hope for Heaven.  Our time here is short, and our calling is opposed.  I need Your grace, Your armor, Your wisdom, and Your presence today, Lord!  Give me eyes to see what matters and a heart that cares enough to engage and act boldly.  Help me to walk in love and joy and peace, to think and speak in ways that honor You, and to always be thankful!!

Thank You for loving me and believing in me and making my paths straight.  Thank You that I belong to You, and I always belong with You, and I am never alone!  I still have questions about what lies ahead, but I am trusting You, O Lord, saying, "You are my God." My future is in Your hands!

In the authority of Jesus' name,

Amen. ❤

HAPPY THANKSGIVING, BLOG FAM!!
Thank you for being here - it means a lot!

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Comfort Cobras?

Day 26:  What movie or show do you return to again and again, and what comfort or truth does it offer you each time?

Gracious, that is not a short list.
I love rewatching my favorite episodes of familiar shows and/or movies!

For today, I'm going with Cobra Kai.

Johnny Lawrence never fails to makes me laugh... but I love his grit and determination and the way his character grows through this series!

...I find comfort in the ridiculous lines and familiar characters, and reassuring truth in watching these very messy-but-lovable characters gradually learn to find their strength and fight well.  The coaches and their students are all immature and dealing with unhealed brokenness... at first, their focus is naturally on protecting themselves and fighting perceived bullies/enemies, and their relationships are all comically fraught with tension, unhealthy competition, and turmoil... but if you can make it through that early drama and chaos, over time, there is a very. strong. redemptive arc where former enemies come together and fight to protect others.  It's messy and imperfect, but they all grow and improve.

There are strong themes of persevering through pain, leadership growth, trying new things, team unity ("protect the egg"), compromise over competition, strategic self-defense, and building your chosen family.  So yeah, I enjoy the ridiculous cheesy comedy and the absurdly intense villains, but the redemptive arc also really resonates with me in this season, and I've watched every episode at least 3x now!  (Because Cobra Kai never dies, but their hyper-aggressive stance does get a much-needed reframe.)

 

Shoutout to the Jaceman for his persistence in convincing me to watch the final two seasons!!

In other news, shoutout to Carter Lee for putting up my parents' Christmas lights this year!

And big thanks to Mom, Triston, Carter, and King Handyman Service for helping me remix several things in my own home... we're nearly done now, and I'm loving the changes!!  

My bookshelves are now in the entry hallway... they're surprisingly unobtrusive in that space, I seriously pared down the books I'm keeping, and it makes me happy to see this fun 'library' more often! ❤

The big L-shaped desk moved from the tiled room into my new home office (with much more happy sunlight for my new mostly-work-from-home job and CCU homework days - an improvement, as I've been doing that at the kitchen table the past 3 years. lol) ❤  Wall decor, plants, and state-issued computer coming soon.

The double bed is going to Katie from my lifegroup, and the new queen bed moved into the new guest room (formerly known as the nursery room).  Bedskirt and headboard on the way, and I feel like this room actually has more space for anyone who stays with me!

I got a 'miraculous' mattress upgrade (with a very extra salesman), but it is nice, and I'm thankful and love my bedroom setup with the pink couch!

And the only tiled room now houses the pink writing desk, navy rug and pink ottoman (which really soften that space), my painting and board of empowerment, my exercise bike and weights, and my Roku TV from work when it comes home with me next month!  It will be the blogging and biking room. lol  YAY! ❤

This took a bit of effort, but it's a functional and visual improvement in every space, so I'm very happy with it!! ❤

Okay, that's all for today.
Happy Thanksgiving Eve!!

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Unspoken Opinions

Day 25:  If you could wake up with one superpower (serious or silly), what would it be and how would you use it?

The first answer that came to mind = the power to hear other people's thoughts, like Mel's character in What Women Want.  I would only tell one person, and I would make good use of it.  Since I live on my own, I would not be constantly overwhelmed by it (in theory).  But it would come in very handy in making me look like a brilliant, tuned-in counselor and in helping me form closer relationships..... or that would be my heart's desire there.

But as I think more deeply about this, in addition to violating the inherent trust of others, I am quickly aware of what an insecurity-driven nightmare that "superpower" would be for a recovering people pleaser.  How quickly I might try to change and contort myself to be more likable with every moody mean comment or sharp critical opinion I "heard," and how everyone around me might have a different inner idea of exactly what me being more likable means, and how hurtful and confusing and stressful hearing all of that would be.  Eeek.  Nevermind, only God can handle that power with full emotional maturity.

So now I feel grateful that I can't hear what others are thinking, which is a nice shift. lol

Mmkay, happy Tuesday, and hope your Thanksgiving week is off to a great start!!

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