Home Sweet Home

Today marks three years since I moved into the "Taberhood," so happy home anniversary to me!!

For anyone who cares, working with Taber Homes was a fantastic experience from start to finish!  I love their design process (choosing from a few select options and upgrades - it was the perfect mix of making it my own without being responsible for designing every aspect of it), and they were very communicative and quick to work with us and fix a few minor things that went wrong.  This = our final walk-through a couple days before I moved in. =)

They also did several little things to make moving day feel even more special, and I very much appreciated that!  A care package with several random things you need during a move, welcome mat, red bow on the door, house keys, and champagne to celebrate (still unopened in my fridge, but it's the thought that counts). lol

Closing pic with Jordan (my realtor's son, who is also a realtor) + random moving day pics! The one broken dish was the only thing that went wrong, and it hasn't been missed. =)

The wonderful Wilson fam surprised me that weekend... look at baby Parker Elizabeth!  That helps mark the time for me. ❤

I got the pink moving truck... so fun!

Such a great house - love my kitchen!

And my living room!

And bedroom. =)

And navy mud bench!

Lunch at Slim Chickens (photo by Mom, who was also there). =)

Whitaker fam + me accidentally wearing the same shirt whilst decorating early a year later.

Hosting the fam Christmas Eve 2024!

Pic with the moose!

And hosting a Mockey Little Christmas Party in Moore, 2023 and 2024!

My only Taber complaint is that they don't yet exist in Tulsa.  I would absolutely go with them again if they did!  Anyway, that's all for today.  I love you and believe in you, and I hope you have a fantastic week ahead!!

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Reality vs. Expectation

This scene from 500 Days of Summer still hits hard.

Precious Joseph Gordon-Levitt goes to a party full of hope for a fun night where he reconnects with his ex-girlfriend and they dance and laugh and have sparkly conversation and go home together.  Instead, he drinks alone and makes small talk with strangers while watching her be flirty and fun with other men.  They do a split screen through the entire night of his expectations versus reality, and it resonates because we've all been there.  Not that specific scenario, but anything in life where the reality we experience falls incredibly short of what we had imagined...

While it's true that the entirety of my time living in the OKC area has not played out according to my original expectations, for me, this disconnected split-screen feeling is most true of my experience with the counseling profession.

The vision was Isaiah 61:1-4, connecting deeply with hurting people, speaking words of life, potentially using walk-and-talk therapy, helping clients break free from strongholds, and making a real and tangible difference in their futures.  When I signed up for night classes at SNU to pursue a counseling career 13 long years ago, I was seeking purposeful, relational work where my voice and heart would matter.  I believed that empowering clients to move forward with more hope and peace would be a vital, fulfilling, and financially stable career path.

That shiny expectation is gradually slipping away as I step closer to a potential career transition.  I am jumping through painful hoops and absurd rules as an LPC-Candidate, navigating the seemingly endless red tape, and looking for encouragement in counselors' "support groups" that are thickly layered with negativity, exhaustion, and self-protective tips on preventing lawsuits and angry emails.  The mental health crisis is real, candidates cannot accept insurance, and the mental health coverage rules for Medicaid are shifting (not in the favor of counselors or clients).  On top of that, I prefer working with adults, but every agency I've spoken with would prefer that I specialize with children (while no one has truly bothered to teach me how to do that well).  Many parents don't want personal counseling but want us to magically fix their kids.  And there is an absurd expectation for counselors to heal the trauma, teach the coping skills, diagnose accurately and quickly, and faithfully document their every move with measurable results and positive outcomes.

Disenchanted is an understatement.

The red tape, the fear-based thinking, expensive supervision meetings, personal safety concerns, lack of professional identity, lack of financial security/opportunity, unfair pressure to support everyone in their unique values and avoid offending anyone, it all feels... exhausting isn't even the right word.  I'm a gritty person, and I don't mind hard work.  Misaligned?  Disappointing?  Far from my hopes and expectations?  Closer.  I adore CCU's "grace and truth" motto.  I have loved so much of what I've learned and experienced there, and it makes me want to shine the light of Christ in a dark world!  But in the real world of counseling, the light of Christianity is being dimmed and hidden.  I can feel the OK board's lack of grace and support with their rigid timelines and infuriating love of technicalities.  It feels like every candidate I know is struggling with absurd stress levels and the lack of financial and emotional support... and it saddens me how much all of the above clouds our ability to be creative, to genuinely connect, and to offer compassionate and wise counsel!

It's not right, and it's not what I signed up for...

Still, I believe God has opened these doors for me.

And I believe that He doesn't waste anything.

Which means I am feeling this severe disenchantment for a reason.

(And it's probably not just about what's best/easiest for me.)

........

I know that social media sometimes reflects the loud minority, and that gives me hope that there are some counselors who are quietly thriving.  Either way, I know I am not alone in this frustrated perspective, but you cannot know how deeply flawed it all is until you're at the epicenter where you've invested so much time, money, and energy into this career that it becomes difficult to change course (the sunk cost fallacy).

It can be hard for me to articulate well, but I feel a deep-seated, growing, nearly-overwhelming awareness of what is wrong.

And I guess that's usually step one.

Honestly, my first (self-protective) instinct is to let all of this go and stick with the comfortable safety and stability of court reporting... it's likely there for me for as long as I choose it.

BUT the leadership course and the encouragement of Dr. Burkhart has me wondering what else God is up to here.  What others-focused role I might play in turning things around for future counselors (and their clients).  Where I might make a real and lasting difference through advocacy, servant leadership, teaching, supervision, research, writing, and yes, even counseling.  The original hope/calling is still in there, and growing stronger in me even as I write this... so it's worth pausing and praying about.  I'll keep you posted.

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"The Sovereign Lord has filled me with His Spirit.  The Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the suffering and afflicted.  He has sent me to comfort the brokenhearted, to announce liberty to captives, and to open the eyes of the blind.  He has sent me to tell those who mourn that the time of God's favor to them has come, and the day of His wrath to their enemies.  To all who mourn in Israel He will give: beauty for ashes; joy instead of mourning; praise instead of heaviness.  For God has planted them like strong and graceful oaks for His own glory.  And they shall rebuild the ancient ruins, repairing cities long ago destroyed, reviving them though they have been deserted for many generations."

~Isaiah 61:1-4

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Villains & Morals

"Even the greatest villain in your personal story has the right to evolve and become someone new... Remember, they are a hero in their own story even though they acted like a villain in yours.  Perhaps you were the villain in someone else's story.  You likely have been.  How would you like that story to be told?   Would you like the author to treat the telling of that story as their golden opportunity to air your dirty laundry and get revenge?  Or would you rather they focus on what matters most - how your actions affected them?  

It's my experience that writing our story helps us fall deeper in love with life itself, including the villains who helped us change.  Writing demystifies the villains in our lives and helps us to see that they were actually vehicles for our own evolution.

From a narrative perspective, villains enter the story with one purpose and one purpose only:  To facilitate and expedite the transformation of the hero.  Not every story has a villain, but the ones that do have an added benefit... The greater the tension, the greater the arc - so if there's a villain in your story, congratulations.  Share all the details about this person that help the reader understand how this frustrating character helped you to evolve.  And then focus the narrative more on who you became because of how you were treated and less on how the villain acted.  Don't include details for the sake of revenge or even self-proclaimed justice; those will only weaken the narrative.  The tension villains provide is a great gift if you allow it to be -- tension is the X-factor that facilitates your growth, the resistance that produces your strength, and the very thing you needed in order to change!"

~Allison Fallon, Write Your Story 
Chapter 12, Writing About Those Who Hurt You

This post needed a photo.  Here's me 1.5 years ago, entering a transformative new decade! ❤

"Not all morals are created equal.  Not all of them are helpful or supportive... The good news is you can always write or rewrite a new moral, even to a very old story.  The morals I came up with back then were things like, "Men are such jerks" or "No one can be trusted" or "The world is an unsafe place."  When you choose a moral, it becomes a filter for all future experiences.  Instead of "Why is this happening to me?" I started asking myself, "Why am I telling this to a reader?"  At the end of each little writing vignette, I would write the words: "The reason I'm telling you this is because..."  then I'd picture my imaginary reader and write the next few sentences to her...

I'm convinced, although there's no definitive way to prove this, that the only reason I have the life I have today -- a very happy marriage, two happy and healthy children -- is because I changed the moral I was writing in that story.  If I had continued forward with the "men are such jerks" moral after my divorce, I never would have even noticed my now husband, who is one of the kindest, gentlest, most sincere people I know.  My brain would've glossed right over him or made up a story about how he must be faking it.  The kinder he was to me, the more I would have dismissed it, thrown it out, pushed it away.  This is how neural pathways work.  There's no way for you to write a story in your life that veers from your morals too much.  What might become possible when you write a better moral to your story??"

-Allison Fallon, Write Your Story
Chapter 10: The Reason I'm Telling You This (The Moral)

So gooood!!  Re-listening to this book for my story-based presentation, and I LOVE and appreciate her perspective on the above topics.  This book gives you a great framework for writing a memoir, and it makes me wish I had more time for writing in this season.  In the meantime, I can build a gradual outline and rethink the underlying 'morals' guiding my story!  (Which may be my next post here.) ❤

An Adventure of Endless Adjustments

Happy Sunday, friends and family!  Here's me, Katie, Ashley, and Jennifer - my women's lifegroup!  We met for 3 hours and had an impromptu group therapy session of sorts on Saturday - I'm grateful for each of them and happy to have these new connections here!! ❤

Nurse Kristie (our CHA friend who helped care for Mom a couple years back) celebrated her 50th wedding anniversary last week! =)

And Sarah Elizabeth celebrated her 37th Birthday yesterday!

Love this - "an adventure of endless adjustments" feels perfectly phrased. lol. God knows the details, so we don't have to!

Judge Brockman and Judge Tupper (at a Cleveland County lunch event I didn't know about, but probably would've skipped). lol

The Miss K made us a Google Slideshow of her Birthday Wishlist!

She is all about her birthday this year, and I'm here for it! lol

Seeing this the day they added it made me happy!

Why I'm always likely to have a blog or journal...

Ashley Campbell opening the box of her first published book + Ruth celebrating her 70th birthday in Scotland! ❤

Jennifer brought these InnerActive therapy cards - we each chose 3 to represent a part of our story, then shared those stories with the group - which led to super interesting and deep conversations! ❤

You are capable.  You are worth it.  You are still in the game.

Keep going!! ❤

Today started with At the Movies at MWC Life.Church followed by Pelican's lunch (a classic throwback), then my first supervision session with April, then tonight was a fun movie night seeing Superman with Rach, Jaceman, and Kyndal Faith!  The 4D motion was intense - we needed seatbelts! lol

Yes, there's chocolate in my teeth, but still a cute pic! lol

Clearly, I save a lot of Jeff Moore's posts - the encouragement to keep going and press through hard things is needed in this season!

God has full power to speak things into existence, and His plan prevails - praying for deeper faith and peace as I lean into what that means for my own life!!

That's all for today.  Thanks for being here, and goodnight!  I love you and believe in you, and I hope you've had a great weekend!!

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Block Party Summer!

Saturday was Chet's 6th annual Block Party, an early summer Client Appreciation Event that grows and improves year after year!!

Here's me and Parker E. in our matching pink t-shirts - YAY!!  The shirts were such a fun addition for this year's festivities - the Wilsons made them one by one using the Cricut and a heat press machine! ❤

Chet Lee also hired a great photographer named Ashton Marie this year, which is why there are lots more photos in this post than usual! The right middle pic of the Evergreen crew makes me happy - Hope's teacher + Elizabeth, Jess, and Kristin!

Always a fun way to start the summer!

It was a really great turnout, and lots of people stayed longer than they did in years past!

The face painting lady (Karen) and the balloon artist stayed busy all afternoon!!

Henry Edward blowing me a kiss! ❤

(Right middle pic is on our way to Andy's after the party!)

Wonderful Wilson Fam!

Love the backyard swing pic of Jeffrey and Henry!  Kate with her butterfly balloon, pre-catastrophic fall!  Kate excited to see Donetta, who was in Tulsa with Ava this week!  And the Moss family with their balloons and bouquet!

The kettle corn and Loco Lemon truck were also very popular, along with Chet's new yard signs!

Parker was first in line for the face painting (and chose a unicorn, obviously), and Tate was the last one to ask for a balloon animal (penguin, one of my favs)!

Chet and his neighbor accidentally twinning, fun Wilson family photos, and Chet with Debbie, the co-sponsor for this party!!

Karli Marie's flower bar was a big hit, as well!

Love the trio pics from 2024 and 2025, and I'm proud of our health progress!

Side Note:  I followed the latest trend and asked ChatGPT what we'd look like as dogs - was not expecting this anthropomorphic animated response, but it definitely made me laugh!!  (Full post with random ChatGPT commentary coming soon - always entertaining!)

So much summery cuteness and fun, and yay for seeing Cody and Yolanda again!

Quick throwback to the first block party in 2020, because planning and hosting a community-building event for family and neighbors and friends is exactly how my fav extrovert responds to a global pandemic - that feels very on brand! lol
Shane and his friend wearing masks in an already-hot popcorn truck... woof, baby Tate offering me popcorn (him asking to open it so we could "see what's inside" still makes me laugh), Karli's bday sign (that one fell on her actual bday, and please note the original bricks on their house that year), Sarah and I by the pool for Karli's Qdoba bday dinner, and the Wilsons and Fuldas!

2021: Baby Parker's first party - I was already smitten, Chet with the Rise Home team, Tate feeding GiGi popcorn, Moss fam party of 3, and the Gas Petal Flower Truck! (This was the year I left a bit early as Dad was hospitalized.)

2022:  The only year I've missed it - won't happen again if I can help it - I believe Holly Dei was in town.  The pics of Parker and Jemma help date it for me.

2023: Their neighbor Steve served as a photographer that year - this event was about a month before Jon's heart attack, and I think about that when I see the pic of me with him and Kristin.  They did a raffle drawing for Allison's Tulsa cityscape painting, I came early and popped in and out while attending a CCU group seminar in their upstairs loft room, and this Popcorn King pic was my profile pic for Chet's calls for quite a while. lol

2024:  The year of the H-Tea-O truck and the first time they did their own flower bar, which went really well!

Okay, back to 2025... so many details in bringing all of this together - Chet and Karli go all out and do an amazing job planning and hosting this every year!  It is never lost on me what a privilege it is to be in their close circle.  After cleanup and sampling Karli's cannoli cake from Carrabba's (yum), I joined this crew for the Whataburger and Andy's custard afterparty!  Parker was hangry and emotionally distraught before dinner, but she cheered right back up when the cheeseburger arrived.  Best.  =)  Also, us repping the full rainbow of color here makes me pretty happy!! =)

*Post title courtesy of Nick-at-Nite, circa 1997!  ;-)
Aww, childhood summer memories!!

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