Let There Be Light

Monday, April 27, 2026

Extrovert for a Day

This blurry gif is a condensed version of my life story (readable version HERE) now on my photo wall with 80+ 3x3 photo stickers - yay, FoxPrint!! ❤

It feels comprehensive and identity-affirming, and I love it!

Rach and Kyndal have now joined K's classmates for the DC trip - hope they have a blast! Three of my former CHA classmates have kids in that same class, so this = Sarah, Heather, and Lyndsay repping the class of 2002 in Philadelphia!

Gracious, WHY will this company not make jeans for average-height women!? I'm wearing my tallest 4-inch heels here, and they still drag the ground. They'll be cute once I get them hemmed!

Coach Nikki (SNU college VB coach and the head of RISE volleyball club + stepped in as Kyndal's 12s coach), K-Faith, and Coach Kate (SNU player for Coach Nikki and moving up with the girls to coach their 13s team next year!) I'm such a fan of seeing the strong and caring Christian leadership!!

Side note: Kyndal Faith has started wearing shorts and a leg-sleeve in honor of the OKC Thunder's Shai Gilgeous-Alexander, which I find cute and funny! She's a fan and loves to be on trend; however, she's not tall enough for there to be a gap, so it just looks like half-pants, half-shorts... which makes me laugh! Mom and Rach and I are hoping the pants make a comeback after the Thunder playoffs! lol

They made it to the championship game and played really well together... this = them celebrating a kill hit during that last game... I LOVE sports moments like this where the competition is intense and the families/fans are loud and the tension and joy all feel heightened!!

They got 2nd place in this tournament, but hopefully they were proud of the way they played together! They've improved a lot over this season, and I'm excited for their final tournament at the Tulsa Regionals next weekend!!

Kate is leaving for a Missions trip, so they gave her her Coaches gifts early... gift wrapping by Mom; volleyball and sign by Rachael; jokingly taking credit for everything by Kyndal!

Me, Mom, and Rach at the tournament... we had a good long talk about the Michael Jackson movie (me filling them in on it before we all go see it together soon) - it was great - his nephew Jaafar plays him, and both he and the young actor playing Jackson 5 MJ did a fantastic job!!

Saturday also included LifeGroup with Katie and Josie, congratulating Katie on her engagement news and telling her I'm happy to be set up with her coworker (feeling more hopeful about that than anything happening on the apps lately), reaching out to Adrianne (Millie's mom + our neighbor) about joining our next study - yay!, reaching out to Natalie to make lunch plans for next week, initiating a convo with Coach Nikki (psychology major turned coach) about how God led her to start Rise club and how much I appreciate her praying with the girls and teaching the importance of character and sportsmanship, talking with Casey and Sarah (Aniston's parents) about the coming DC trip and my workouts with Solid Rock PT (SO FREAKING SORE from last week, but going again this afternoon). Yay, spring energy! It was a very extroverted day for me - especially considering that I felt energized rather than drained by all of the social interaction above - I feel very encouraged to keep being brave and making new connections!!

After a few confidence-draining rounds of kind friends trying unsuccessfully to talk suuuper-passive Christian men into dating me, hearing about Godly men who are actively seeking someone and open to dating feels really encouraging. I would so love to be chosen by a man with real goals and a decisive/assertive personality, not settled for or reluctantly asked out by a video gamer who's too nice to keep saying no to the setup - woof. Megan Elizabeth is now married, and Annie F. is now engaged! AFD's story is speaking hope and joy to a lot of women! It's obviously not plan A for any of us, but it could be plan A in God's book, and it makes me happy to see quality Christian women in their early 40s finding love. God is kind and powerful - He loves to write redemptive stories, and nothing in my past disqualifies me from being chosen and loved and building a future with someone God has yet to introduce - reminding myself of that in this prolonged waiting-and-hoping season!! I am after mutual excitement and love, and I won't settle for less than that!

In lighter news, Miss Parker Elizabeth had a Princess Party for her 5th birthday yesterday...
what a preshface - she was definitely feeling cute here! lol

Pic with Katherine Claire, Holly Marie in her bowl hat, Paige Evelyn in her tutu, Disney princess pics, and presents (mirroring Tate's Kiwi-Co gift this year, I got Parker a Petite Princess 6-month subscription service, so hopefully that'll turn out well).

26.2 - one year ago today!! ❤

And with that, I'm all caught up. Thanks for stopping by - I love you and believe in you, and I believe that God is with you and for you today, working behind the scenes for your good and His glory!!

❤ ❤ ❤

Thursday, April 23, 2026

If We Don't Give Up

This card made me laugh! =)

Some Biblical encouragement for today:

Alaska cruise prep has begun - get excited (including my first and hopefully last pair of hiking boots - lol)!

Goals:

New dress for my cruise - yay!

A personalized collage of 2026 Rise club team pics for Kyndal Faith and each of her teammates, created and wrapped by Mom!! Loving all the creativity and generosity and fun color here!

And here's the awesomesauce chalkboards Rach made for each of them!!

Seeing this made me happy - pretty good casting!

Yay for meeting another neighbor today - I picked up a belated bday treat for Millie (the 6-year-old leukemia survivor who lives just down the street) and wrote her family a nice card! Unfortunately, their cute little dog was trying to escape when they opened the front door, so we didn't get to chat for long. lol

I had my first workout with Solid Rock Personal Training yesterday... rough times, but the coaches are great, and there's lots of support in the group workouts! I'm enjoying my free week and probably going to sign up as a member when it's over!

And last but not least, HAPPY 5th BIRTHDAY to Miss Parker Elizabeth today... her singing happy birthday to herself in her room at the end is my favorite thing!! lol

❤ ❤ ❤

Wednesday, April 22, 2026

Artificial Intelligence vs. God-given Wisdom

Okay, so I've been a big fan of ChatGPT since Holly first introduced the concept! I have used it for small medical questions, resume adjustments, workout routines, meal planning, refining my vitamins, brainstorming, proofreading, generative writing, therapy session planning, marketing ideas, fun caricatures, online dating questions, and more. In many areas, it's been a helpful tool... but lately, I am very intentionally leaning away from it and leaning harder into my walk with God. As a single woman struggling to find a man with aligned values and intelligence, it's pretty easy to start turning to AI for quick validation and in-depth relational wisdom... when we absolutely need to be going to Jesus and/or friends and family for those things! John Eldredge wrote a newsletter about the dangers of that very thing, when we create a counterfeit sense of intimacy with something that is:

A) Not real or as safe/secure as we hope

B) Not infallible or consistently trustworthy

C) Not aligned with His purpose for me

So all that to say, I've deleted past chats and taken it off of my phone. I was convicted about using it for school when I started the PhD program (HERE). I did not touch it once throughout Dr. Burkhart's leadership class, spending hours studying articles and writing papers. I worked very hard, and I was proud of my papers and presentations, and it paid off! Dr. Burkhart was proud of my work, too... he was incredibly supportive and became an esteemed mentor for whatever I may pursue in the future with CCU!

I believe the same positive outcome will be true as I step away from using AI for relational coaching and make a very sincere effort to turn to Jesus and friends and family and therapists for the things I've been seeking faster answers to online.

The "last straw" for me was when I asked ChatGPT to give me an example of conflict and resolution in Voyage of the Dawn Treader, one of the Narnia books. It told me that Lucy uses a magic spell to create light when their ship sails into darkness... that seemed strange to me, much more like Harry Potter than C.S. Lewis, and Kyndal doubted the accuracy, as well.... so I asked ChatGPT if that was absolutely accurate about the book, and it said no - in the book, Lucy prays to Aslan, and He leads them back to light. Ummmmm, nope. Massive difference, and I was taken aback by how very quickly and decisively it wrote God out of the story and created powerful people who did not need His help (without mentioning that it changed anything at all). Took the app off my phone that day.

So going along with my renewal theme, I am sincerely seeking God and His leading and wisdom!

The answers may come slower and less clearly,
but I know I can trust His heart and His Word.

God is real, safe, secure, infallible, and consistently trustworthy!

And He has a plan and purpose for our lives that only He can clarify.

Let's be incredibly careful to guard our hearts
and keep Him at the center of our story!!

❤ ❤ ❤

Tuesday, April 21, 2026

While He is Near

Happy Tuesday, friends! I'm in a Zoom courtroom waiting on attorneys, as per usual, so I decided to update the blog while I wait. =)

Here's me and T-man at Starbucks this past Saturday... we met for breakfast and discussing his future in Colorado and ordering his graduation invites! =)

Crazy that we're already here! I'm so happy he was up for using the Kindergarten pic... cuteness! =)

A short story of sass and attitude. lol The mini-Miss K trying on her 6th grade graduation look whilst being in a mood with Rachael. The sparkly boots are fun! =)

Rach is using paint + crystals + a heat gun for the pictures to make these awesome volleyballs for the Rise coaches - so fun!!

This = my favorite coaches and team she's been on so far!

The Tuscan Torch pizza at Hideaway (minus the Italian sausage - not a fan)... yum! This was a dinner with Kristin Michelle where we got to catch up on all of life after missing a few weeks of Wednesday walks!

Truth. I remind myself often that my choices have an impact, even when they may feel inconsequential.

Same for my thoughts... after a hard stretch, I am working on renewing my mind, and I can tell I'm making progress - thank God!!

Thankful for outdoor walks and a nice nearby park where I feel safe to do that!

Fish tank fun with Jaceman!

It feels insane to me that this picture was taken only two years ago.

God is really speaking to me right in here lately... reading this chapter over and over!

Seeking Him and calling on Him...

❤ ❤ ❤

Monday, April 13, 2026

Welcome Back + Prayer Plan

If my friends or family members happen to check in here, hello and welcome back!! =) I hope your 2026 is off to a good start!

Writing is a healthy outlet for me, and I care about documenting the details... the blogging has been a bit more sporadic in 2026, but with or without a reading audience, I am likely to continue to blog for the foreseeable future! I am giving myself the grace to be human and unfinished and imperfect, so I've decided to go ahead and make this public again... while still wrestling with some inner conflict over global events and personal goals and decisions ahead!

Seeing The Great Awakening on Easter weekend really inspired me to seek God more actively and to implement a new daily prayer for God-given wisdom and guidance in my decisions every morning. I've also been convicted about turning to AI too often for relational guidance (more on that HERE), and I'm becoming more and more determined to pursue the REAL, God-given intimacy, wisdom, health, and inner power over any quicker-fix counterfeits. Super challenging, and that is why I need to be serious in my daily prayer habit to help renew my mind and heart!!

"The longer I live, the more convincing proofs I see of this truth: that God governs in the affairs of men. And if a sparrow cannot fall to the ground without His notice, is it probable that an empire can rise without His aid? We have been assured, sir, in the Sacred Writings that "except the Lord build the house, they labor in vain that build it." I firmly believe this. And I also believe that without His concurring aid, we shall succeed in this political building no better than the Builders of Babel... I therefore beg leave to move that henceforth prayers imploring the assistance of Heaven and its blessings on our deliberations be held in this assembly every morning before we proceed to business..."

~Ben Franklin to the Constitutional Convention❤

So there's that. Again, welcome back, and Happy Monday!

And so that this post will have a photo, here's a throwback to our 1993 Glamour Shots pic I used for National Sibling Day 2026! ❤

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Sunday, April 12, 2026

JSB Pics 2026

Mom and I met up with everyone downtown to take pre-JSB pics! Triston and Kate went together again... he's wearing a custom-made suit he bought and a blue tie to match her dress! ❤

We started at the Myriad Gardens (below, where we got pictures last year), then T texted us that they were changing the location to the Riversport Boathouse!