Mid-Year Check-In!

Next week, I plan to share my goals for the second half of the year.
Today felt like a good time for a part one check-in!

Disney trip, January 2026

Most years, I write out my New Year’s resolutions here, but I realized I never actually did that for 2026.  The end of 2025 was rough, and I came into this year a little wrung out.  I chose Renewal as my theme word, and that still fits and feels relevant.

Writing:  Day one of this year, I said I was going to shut this blog down, write one post all year, and force myself to focus only on book writing.

Clearly, that plan went super well! lol ;-)

But honestly, I’m glad it didn’t.  After pausing the PhD program on January 12th, I felt like I had the needed space to breathe and think clearly again.  After reading Theo of Golden and Big Trust, I finally have a more solidified book plan than I’ve ever had before (another goal for the next half of this year).  I believe blogging still matters for my mental health, documenting the memories, and the sense of connection it brings!  I think I was just exhausted and tempted to hide when this year began.  Thankfully, God is bringing some renewal there.

Growth:  Last week, I saw a timely FB post from Dr. Leaf about how trying new things and experiencing new places can be a great catalyst for personal growth.  That has definitely been true in my own life, and it’s something I’m pondering and praying about for this next season!

Health:  This has been a journey.  Last year, I tried a compounded GLP-1 for a couple months, lost 12 pounds, then stopped abruptly while considering pregnancy.  The food noise surged back to life and I regained the weight while struggling with intense emotions, soon accompanied by the uterine fibroids news and the hard decision not to move forward with the embryo transfers.  It was a long, messy season covered by God's grace!

This year, I did more research and decided to try the more expensive but FDA-regulated Zepbound (instead of the potentially-sketchy compounded option).  After three months of gradually increasing the dose, I somehow maintained the exact same weight while losing more and more hair.  Obviously not the desired or expected outcome.  So I’ve gradually tapered off, which made me a little nervous about food noise... but this time I was more careful to go slowly, and it appears I’ve avoided any emotional roller coaster.

Between health and dating goals, I believe God has been using the lack of progress to gently redirect me, leading me to trust Him and move in a different direction without allowing me to give up hope or drown in shame.

I’m in a good routine with my vitamins, and I’ve pushed myself in more intense strength-training workouts at Solid Rock over the past two months.  Since the theme of my book is becoming strong over small, I’m trying to set physical goals that align with that mindset.  More on that next week.

Here I am on a windy Summer Solstice walk yesterday!   It was the longest daylight day of the year, and now the days slowly begin getting shorter until the Winter Solstice on December 21st - I'll miss the extra sunshine, but yay for being on the path to Christmastime!

Dating:  The only other goal I remember setting and specifically writing about here was the "Year of Dating."  With renewed hope inspired by AFD and Megan, I pushed myself to really try the apps and stay open to friend set-ups.  And I’m proud of myself for not giving up.  It's challenging to stay in faith and stay open-hearted about a major desire like this while facing repeated let-downs over a six-month stretch.

I’ve only had one man ask me on a real date this year, which I drove all the way to Texas for (and I’m proud of myself for that, too).  I have messaged more seriously and/or had phone calls with a few potential candidates along the way, the most recent ending on Sunday.  And I can now confidently say that Kyle, Phillip, Dallas, Joey, Ryan, Sam, Joseph, Tom, and Chris were *not* the right fit for me.  And I'm counting that as progress and narrowing the field.

The process has been tiring at times, and it has taught me a lot.  I’ve gotten better with initiating closure conversations, learned more about spiritual compatibility, and internally clarified my relational expectations and personal deal-breakers.  I am not interested in men who love horror movies, have hot tempers, make minimal conversational effort, are technically separated, or those who seem unambitious and disenchanted with life while looking for a woman to fix that for them.

Surprisingly, I’m in a pretty good headspace about it.  I don’t feel like I failed because I know I've genuinely tried, and I haven't given up hope.  Right now, I believe God may be blocking certain things, protecting me and guiding me toward what is actually aligned with Him and the direction He has for my life!

I'm at a point where I know what I want and deserve.  I’m financially secure, deeply loved, and enjoying a pretty full life, and I am so uninterested in settling for less than God’s best relationally.  (Still hopeful and praying toward that.) ❤

Family:  As I mentioned earlier today, we’ve had regular family dinners that I treasure, including game nights, trivia, slideshows, and basketball fun with the niece and nephews.  I’ve loved my walks and talks with Kristin.  Mom and I talk multiple times a day, and I’ve grown closer to Triston over the past few months - we’ve had some important conversations during this pivotal season in his life, and I’m grateful for the role God has given me there!

Colorado trip, June 2026

Friends:  I’ve continued to stay connected with my Tulsa friends, and I've made a few more friends in the OKC area lately, reaching out to some of the women God has put on my heart!  Stepping up to lead and host the women’s LifeGroup for the summer has been a really great experience!

Work:  I’m still loving the flexibility of my remote-hybrid court reporting job with the OCC, and I’m set to receive one raise next month and another in November!  For now, it doesn’t feel wise to take a massive pay cut and step into an emotionally-intense full counseling schedule just to earn my LPC.  Unless God redirects that or marriage changes the income need for me, counseling may become my retirement job after 55.  And I’m okay with that idea!

Either way, I’ll always be grateful for everything I learned at CCU!  It continues to add value to my life and writing, and it equips me to respond with more wisdom and confidence when I have friends and/or family members who need good counsel.

I'll recap specific events at the end of this year.  That’s the general update for part one of 2026.  Some personal growth, some great reading, some interesting challenges, and some new goals and ideas brewing (more on that next week).  I’m believing God for continued renewal as the year moves forward!

Thanks for checking in here!
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Father's Day Weekend

Pic at Saltgrass Steak House after our Father's Day dinner last night! ❤

Dad with his kids and grandkids!

Jace starting off with "Happy birthday" made me laugh!

Verse of the Day ❤

I really appreciate that "tender and compassionate" are the first qualities listed for fathers here.  Not overreactive or quick to anger, not unkind or impatient, not indifferent or checked out.  Looking back at my childhood as an adult, one of the things I most appreciate is the very normalized sense of physical and emotional safety, peace, and being cared for.  I wasn't deeply aware back then that so many children did not have the same home life experience.  I'm grateful for every facet of the fruit of the Spirit I see in my Dad. ❤ 

...Our family is in a strange season of a very gradual transition right now that made this Father's Day feel bittersweet.  Dad has been dealing with some vision problems and some memory issues that are increasing with age.  At long last, he is on a prescribed medication to help slow any cognitive decline.  He is still working and driving and very physically active and present at all the grandkids' events, but he's become quieter at family dinners lately and typically doesn't participate in games that involve much reading.  It's a slow and subtle erosion, but it's painful, and it's another solid reminder to keep our ultimate hope in the coming Kingdom where full restoration will be the reality, the enemy will have no authority, and God's children will all have "freedom from death and decay."  As for his work life, State Farm is making serious changes to the contract for all of their agents in 2028, so Dad will be retiring toward the end of 2027 - which empowers him to plan well and go out on a high note with the appropriate celebration.  In all of the above, I see God's grace in some of the small details, and it makes me feel more grateful for the regular time we all have together!  Prayers for continued love, wisdom, and peace would be appreciated!

On Saturday, I got to hang out with Natalie and Walker at The Station/Central Park!  They'd never been there before and really enjoyed it!

A duck with presh baby ducklings!

Turtle party!

A festive Farmer's Market!

We did a full lap around the park, then Natalie and I caught up on life while Walker played on the gated playground... then we did one final lap, as he wanted to walk by the lake again!  Walker loves animals and he reminded me of Jace at that age, touring us through his imaginary zoo which also included lots of fish... so they would get along well for sure, and I may try to make that introduction!

Yessss to this - feel it to heal it!

Paige Evelyn getting her beauty sleep - I didn't wanna go the entire month of June without seeing them, so I came to Tulsa and met the Wilson and Weatherford crew for dinner - somehow failed to get photos of anyone but Paige, but she can represent their fam for that day! lol

*Happy 13th Anniversary to Chettles and Karli Marie today!!

In other news, I baked a peach cobbler yesterday, and Triston and Mom and I enjoyed it!! =)  #YayPeachTruck

That's all for this post.  Hope you have a lovely week ahead!

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Faith, Hope, and Love

Today was a blessedly short day in court, followed by some transcript work and a carb-loading lunch with the Whitaker fam at McAlister's! ❤

Eek, I chose the very sunniest spot for our photo op. lol

Last night was family dinner + Kyndal Faith's Birthday Wishlist presentation! lol  She has a very detailed plan on how she would like to redecorate her bedroom.  She brings me so much joy with these slideshows - good practice for her future Senate run, and just look how cute she is with her new jean shorts and orange shoes and sparkly Nike shirt! =)
K:  "And the reason I'm showing you all this today instead of later is that this chair (indicating) is on sale right now!!"

Proud of Jace Michael, who has been working out with RJ several times a week and playing basketball and swimming most nights at Mom and Dad's!  This = dunking pics, with a little help from ChattyG. lol

Rach also got an AI Dance app that entertained us all for a bit. We screen-mirrored K's Thriller dance on the big TV, and it was good times! lol

❤ K running to Rach to hide and play innocent after deliberately aggravating Jace as they played basketball. lol  Sibling rivalry is always more entertaining to me than it should be, and they're both at such fun, playful ages - I just love it!!

If the Holy Spirit leads you, say a prayer for wisdom and peace for Jaceman as he makes a difficult decision about the path ahead next year.  (I'm confident God has good things in store for him either way, but he has three potential options and a growing list of pros and cons to weight out.)

I tried an Intro class at Club Pilates on Wednesday... I enjoyed it and would love to join soon... but alas, I am committed to Solid Rock longer than I'd intended, thanks to their 30-day cancellation notice policy.  #ugh #onemoremonth

YES to courageous, wholehearted leaders who speak with Godly authority, love, and a sound mind, not wounded bravado or a spirit of fear.

Hair makes such a difference, always.  And I am sincerely grateful for competent stylists, quality extensions, good vitamins, slow growth, and the ability to *virtually* try new things! ;-)

Judith (my former Compassion child) turned 25 last week, so I sent her a bday gift.  She is beautiful and thriving, and her family is doing well... I love that we are friends on social media now with an ongoing connection that really matters!

Toy Story 5 did not disappoint.  Pixar knows how to bring all the emotions, and this scene got me!

Looking forward to a morning walk with Natalie and Walker tomorrow, then working on the "book promise" and chapter outlines, then likely baking some sort of peach dessert with my peach truck peaches (an annual treat - yay!), then celebrating Dad on Father's Day!!

Finally, on a far more serious note, today marks one year since Kristen Harriss went to Heaven.  I vividly remember my last earthly conversation with her (a long phone call where we laughed and got vulnerable and caught up on life and prayed together - on the very day she received the eventually-fatal pneumonia diagnosis during her treatments at MD Anderson).  I also have crystallized memories of a few specific moments from her funeral service, which was powerful and emotional.  Praying for her parents and anyone else deeply affected on this grief anniversary.  For faith, hope, and love to shine through and strengthen their hearts.

"Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity.  All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.  Three things will last forever - faith, hope, and love - and the greatest of these is love."
~1 Corinthians 13:12-13

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Messy Seasons; Clear Identity

Ten years ago (on 6-16-16), Mom had a spinal fusion, a major surgery with an intense recovery period.  Pics = Mom on the phone with Jaceman before going back for surgery, my first AFD book (read cover to cover while staying with Mom in that hospital room), waiting room with Babah and Dad, Bill and Debbie Wallace coming by the hospital to wait with us, and Jace enjoying the CFA lunch I dropped off for the Parrish fam at JoBug's pool! ❤

A Flipagram time capsule with some vivid memories from that season:

Look at 2016 me using a John Mayer song - never been a big fan of him as a person, but that song is a pretty good one.  I'm so thankful for the blog record and for slideshows like this that encapsulate the feeling of certain seasons.

Anyway, I was about to write something self-condemning about how "I was a hot mess" in that season.

Caregiving takes a toll, and it was absolutely a stressful time (including a dreadful night where Mom's blood pressure was critically low and her kidneys were not functioning and the doctors were struggling to bring it back up and I was the only family member present at the hospital, then they released her to go home a couple days before they really should have).  Some of it's a blur now, but I know I cried several times, put too much pressure on myself, felt like I wasn't handling anything well, and ended up seeing a counselor for a bit.  Soooo much grace for myself as I look back!

Brene Brown told a short story that resonated with me.  While picking her daughter up from Kindergarten, the teacher told her this story: Earlier that day, the kids were playing with glue and glitter, and the teacher playfully commented, "Ohhh, you are a mess!" to Brene's daughter... then her daughter politely responded, "I might be making a mess right now, but I am not a mess." ❤

I adore that, and I'm adopting it.

I am wonderfully complex (Psalm 139), made in God's image, loved and worth loving, every day of my life fully seen and recorded in God's book (and on this blog). ;-)

I've been through some very messy seasons (haven't we all?).

And I am not a mess.

(Harder still, 2007 Lindsey was not a mess.  She made some bad choices, but Jesus loved her enough to fight for her heart.  She was a work in progress, gradually growing in Christ through hard seasons and big losses.)

I'm reminding myself that our word choices MATTER.  And I'm not going to speak messiness (pain, chaos, confusion, stress, overwhelm) over my life or identity.  And I won't say it about others either, which I've definitely done without intending any harm at times - I want to be someone who is thoughtful, intentional, and caring with my words.

For now, whenever I feel tempted to give a one-word "MESS!" response, I'm going to replace that with "GRACE!" to remind myself to be kind and have extra grace for myself and others.  We're all human, and life is freaking hard sometimes, and we are allowed to feel it all as we move through it into better seasons ahead.  We all have certain weaknesses and come from different starting points, and it's okay not to be okay all the time.  God is with us and for us, and we have the ability to learn and keep moving forward, with all the grace we need one day at a time!!

Here's me taking a quick walk at The Station after voting this afternoon. 

I saved this lovely pic after reading something about Tower Bridge earlier - a London trip is definitely on my Life List, and I plan to make it happen someday! =)

Whatever messy things you may be feeling or facing today, don't give it power over your identity.

YOU are not a mess.  Remember this truth:

We are God's masterpiece,
created in Christ Jesus
for good works God planned for us long ago!
(Ephesians 2:10)

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Hair Care and First Drafts

Well, I've made peace with AI for a tiny minute,
but it's for a really vital cause. ;-)

It's honestly very helpful to me to see the different colors, lengths, and hairstyles with everything else in the photo being the same.  My personal fav is the long layered rose gold look below - sadly, I think that color is potentially damaging and hard to get right in real life, but I will be asking Janelle about it.  I also like the layers with full bangs, the curly red hair (what I always want a perm to be, but it never is), and the shorter curly bob(s).

I tried it for Rachael too, although I "ran out of credits" after only a few.
My bad - did not realize there was a limit. lol

Here we are with the famous "pixie" cut... kinda fun to have the pics, because you will never see this in real life for me. lol  It would require so much courage for me to ever ask for a cut this short, and I would need a few trustworthy wig options in case it all went terribly.

Okay then.  Lots of deep insights being shared in today's post. lol

Here's our friend trio pic at the block party (taken by the photographer, Ashton).

And a vibrant pic of the wonderful Wilson fam, Block Party 2026!

That's all for today.  Now I'm off to finish up my transcript and finalize my writing plan!!  I've decided to get going and attempt to write a full first draft over the next 15 weeks ...before I'm set to resume classes and before I pursue any meeting with Dr. Burkhart, as the writing process itself is likely to answer my big questions!

Hope you have a fantastic week ahead!  Keep moving forward!

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Life Lately...

Hey, friends and family!  Hope you're having a delightful weekend so far. ❤

This = me and Kristin walking toward each other from opposite sides of The Station on Wednesday. lol

It felt like a dramatic movie moment.  Their parking lot is so full (thanks to the pool being open this month) that we had to park on opposite sides of the lake.  Once we met in the middle, we had a lovely Wednesday walk and talk! =)

This = Tman heading into Holly's apartment for part two of his time in Colorado.  I came back home so I wouldn't miss too many workdays, but he stayed at her place (while she was in Vegas from Monday to Thursday) and explored more of Colorado.  He was able to meet with two of the mentors from Holly's company, another engineer friend of hers, and his favorite former teacher from CHA (who moved to CO a couple years back).  He also got to explore Breckenridge, brainstorm new business ideas, take the train to Boulder, walk around Cherry Creek, buy some groceries at Trader Joe's, and experience being in the apartment on his own for a few days.  I picked him up at the airport on Thursday night, and it was uplifting to hear how well things had gone for him!

The Mini Miss K is making this awesome gift for her best friend, Ellery!

I love her creativity and attention to detail, and the thoughtful effort she's putting in for her friend!

A screen background that made me happy when my computer rebooted.  I love this whole office room, honestly!  A cozy home workspace I don't wanna be forced to leave any time soon. lol

AFD and JW - all of her wedding planning posts are fun to read lately!

K-Faith is the best. lol  Huzzah for winning this trivia game... Dad was watching Jace play basketball, so only Mom and I played.  We both knew most of the answers, but I was faster to click the right button on my phone. lol

The KiwiCo gift subscription I got Tate for his 8th bday was a solid choice... this is the archery kit he built - Karli said it's been a hit with both kids, so I'm thrilled to hear that!  And on the right is preshface Parker being adorable with her mermaid Barbie.  (The Petite Princess subscription I got for her has been less than stellar so far - I need them to step it up and be more timely, as the thought of her running to the mailbox excited then coming back emptyhanded is the very saddest!)

Yay, new flowers (planted by Bobby) in my mini-flowerbed!

Speaking of flowers, in a surprising move, Rachael planted some flowers in her front yard her very own self, then she had an entertaining convo with ChattyG (as she calls it) about how they were doing.  This screenshot made Triston and I pretty happy! lolol  (And yes, I acknowledge it's a little creepy that it's telling her it "feels invested" and asking for more pics and saying they'll get through it together if the flowers die - the degree to which it is trained to act as a friend/therapist is pretty fascinating.)

Precious Tom Holland... playing the oldest brother in The Impossible (the tsunami movie), then today.  He and Glen Powell are my top two actors at the moment - I find Tom incredibly endearing.  His podcast interview with Amy Poehler was great... he talked about being severely dyslexic and having never hosted SNL because he tends to freeze when he has to read something aloud and worries about how he would handle the cue cards.  He always tries to memorize his lines for script read-throughs.  It just made me like him even more (as if Spider-Man and this epic performance weren't enough).

In other news, I hosted the Heal Out Loud women's LifeGroup for the second time yesterday.  We had an in-depth discussion of Psalm 139, then Katie shared her story with us.  Here's me, Haley, Natalie and Walker, Ashley, Josie, and Katie - thankful for this group and for the opportunity to host and lead this summer - it's been good for me in lots of ways!

Yesterday was also Mom and Dad's 45th Anniversary!!
Pics = her cooking and him washing dishes at a recent family dinner - (the only candid I threw in, but I'm grateful for their kindness and hospitality and they way they help/serve each other), 2013 anniversary dinner, after Grandad's graveside service 2019, their wedding day 1981, family dinner for T's graduation celebration, Mom's 70th birthday, their 40th Anniversary at Charleston's, Thanksgiving dinner at Justin's, and the ferry ride on our NYC trip!

❤

A CCU friend who is turning 30 this month had a dramatically-themed party that included cookies mourning her youth and a scavenger hunt at a real local cemetery (where I sincerely hope they planned the timing extra carefully).

*This is one of the most playful people I know, so I'm certain it was well-intended and a joyful time with her friends, and I sincerely hope her decade milestone bday ahead is fantastic!!

...Maybe it's because I've experienced intense grief along with genuine suicidality several years back, but I typically cannot get on board with jokes about death - even the skull memes and "I died" laughing trend is *not* a fit for me.  I have learned that our words have a spiritual and physical impact, "the power of life and death" as God put it -  and we can choose to speak life and hope and renewal, trusting that we can embody youthful energy, be kind to our inner child, and create fun memories with the people we love right up until God takes us to Heaven, where those things will literally never die again!!

On a related note, when I finish this blog, I will be writing a card for Kristen's parents, as the one-year anniversary of her death is fast approaching.  The front of the card is this verse:  "There are in the end three things that last: faith, hope, and love, and the greatest of these is love." ~1 Cor. 13:13
I am very grateful that Christ-centered faith, hope, and love never die. ❤

The fam (+ Ellery) after our dinner at BJ's last night! ❤

My Biscoff pizookie - shared with Mom and Rach and it was still unfinished, but yum!

I've watched a couple of the MasterClass videos from Shade Zahrai lately (pronounced Shaw-day, and writing it that way just made me think of Usher. lol)  She authored the Big Trust book on overcoming self-doubt that I loved.  In one of her classes, she talked about how she wasn't sure getting her PhD was worth the effort, and how there is great value in "the applied practitioner approach" (distilling complex academic research and presenting the information in a way that helps laypeople understand the core concepts and learn something valuable).  Mel Robbins, Brene Brown, Vanessa Van Edwards, and Beth Moore all do this well, and in every case, that is soooo much closer to what I want for my future than writing and publishing textbooks or rigorous academic papers full of terms most people would not understand or connect with.  I'm after heart connection that leads to Kingdom impact!

So I'm very grateful to Allen Levi for his rules of writing that sparked a lot of this thought process, and to Shade for that insight that allowed me to put clear language to something I've been feeling/thinking for a while now.  It's all starting to come together internally, and I've created a plan to write a solid book draft (not a memoir, but an accessible book that will incorporate pieces of my story along with Biblical truth and evidence-based research on learned helplessness, personal agency, and post-traumatic growth - yes, puh-lease!) I have a working title and clear chapter ideas and everything - yay!!  More on that as I move forward.  (I could absolutely sift through the research and write this book right now, but there is a sincere question/curiosity in my mind about whether the LPC and PhD would make my writing feel more credible here, so I may set up a meeting with Dr. Burkhart to discuss all of the above now that I'm beginning to see the end-goal and my desired reading audience more clearly, which all feels exciting and hopeful.)

Okay then!  Happy Sunday, Happy Flag Day, and Happy Bday to JMM! lol #neverforget  I hope it's a wonderful day and week ahead for you!!

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