New Year, New Outlet

Happy New Year!! ❤

It's been a light and fun day connecting with God + friends + family + audiobooks and eating some great food!

Friends, this will be my first and last blog post for 2026.

Famous last words, I know, but I'm going to try to stick to that.

For lots of reasons, I believe this is the right season for me to let this go (taking it down on 1-7-25).

To put my considerable writing energy into a memoir book.

To take a deep breath and trust that the world will go right on spinning and my single life will still have value even if every moment and decision ahead is not witnessed or publicly documented.

To recognize that this has typically been a one-sided conversation that built a false sense of intimacy for me - the strong relationships and Kingdom purpose I desire will not be achieved here.

To stop performing or feeling pressure to live up to a certain image based on the expectations of others or of past versions of myself.  To release people from any pressure to prove they care for me by reading this content; to free myself from unfair judgement and unnecessary pain or insecurity.

To keep growing and healing and to live with more freedom based on my values, beliefs, and desires today at age 41... not feeling boxed in by the viewpoints and hopes I sincerely expressed here at age 24 or 33 or 38.

We can do hard things.

THANK YOU for being here with and for me through the past 15+ years.
It mattered to me very deeply.

For one last time here, I love you and believe in you, and I’m confident God has wonderful things ahead for each of us, and the best is yet to come!!

❤ ❤ ❤

A Time to Keep and a Time to Cast Away

Happy New Year's Eve!! ❤

This = tonight's Wednesday walk with Kristin and a pic by the train at The Station - if you blur your eyes, it kinda looks like NYE fireworks going off behind us! lol

Happy trees and my favorite verse as today's verse of the day!

Jace and TJ riding the bikes they got for Christmas (and Kyndal joining them for a bit)!  They rode from Rachael's house to Mom's house, which sounds slightly worrisome to me, but I'm sure they had fun!

Okay, the following prompts are courtesy of ChatGPT, who I often wanna call Chattles, but that would just get confusing. lol

❤️ Best of 2025

• Best Decision I Made This Year:  Setting boundaries and sticking with a difficult no

• Best Yes I Said (Even Though It Scared Me):  Joining the PhD Program

• Best Trip / Day / Moment:  My solo trip to NYC / Relay Marathon + Friendsgiving #14 / Reaching onederland for the first time since 2009

• Best Book That Changed How I Think:  Collective Illusions

• Best Podcast:  Mel Robbins & David Kessler or Craig Groeschel (Leadership Podcast) & Vanessa Van Edwards 

• Best Laugh:  The ER trip with Rach

• Best New Restaurant / Comfort Food:  Paul's Place / Laurannae cupcakes

• Most Life-Giving Relationship:  Friendship with Chet Lee

• Most Unexpected Encourager:  Dr. Burkhart

• Most Meaningful Goodbye:  My long phone call with Kristen Harriss the week before she died

• Most Honest Prayer:  None of this makes sense - where are You?

• Most “God Was Quiet but Present” Season:  August

• Biggest Shift in What I’m Asking God For:  Asking for renewed security in Him

• Most Healing Scripture or Truth:  "God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind." -1 Timothy 1:7

• What I’m Leaving in 2025:  Striving to prove my value within the church through motherhood and/or marriage

• What I’m Carrying Forward:  God-given value

• What I’m Still Becoming:  Securely attached

• One Word I’m Choosing for Next Year:  Renewal

• One Thing I’m No Longer Rushing:  Family

• One Thing I’m Saying Yes to Next:  Peace

• The Decision That Taught Me the Most:  Adopting the Embryos

• Most Unexpected Plot Twist:  Turning down two good counseling job offers and taking another court reporting job for now

• Best Moment That Wasn’t on My 2025 Bingo Card:  Dr. Burkhart saying I would be a great professor and being willing to personally mentor me

• Hardest Thing I Did—and Survived:  Quietly walking away from my decade+ adoption plan and trying to make sense of that whole journey

• Most Proud-of-Myself Moment:  The cold and rainy February day when I rallied and ran 14 miles on my own (my longest run ever up to that point) - of all my runs this year, that one required the most inner grit

• Most “Why Did I Say Yes?” Moment:  Hitting the mental wall during Mile 22 of the Full Marathon - grateful I pushed through it

• Most Spiritually Stretching Season:  August & September

• Biggest Lesson I Didn’t See Coming:  That I am good with kids, and I can trust that (Epiphany on Epiphany post), and because of that, I don't have to strive or prove my value within the church through motherhood

• Most Peace I’ve Felt All Year:  Immediately after making the decision to close the door on embryo adoption - that peace lasted about 24 hours before I got very caught up in the whirlwind of spiritual warfare and worry over the opinions of others, but it was a God-given sense of peace that eventually returned as I prayed and got more confirmation there.

• Most Unhinged Thought:  "Okay, I'm totally calling Rachael on my drive back (from Dallas IVF) to find out if she's still willing to carry the baby for me!" *That was while waiting on Dr. Ku's ultrasound after my heart sank hearing about the fibroids, BUT then he said all was well to move forward so I was overjoyed and never made that phone call... he left a voicemail the very next day saying we would need to run further tests, then no one in OKC could do the test he ordered and it took over a month to get back into their office, then I needed another surgery to move forward, and by then, my mindset had shifted very gradually - I am seeing God's hand and timing in all of that now in ways I really couldn't before.  Most people will never get the depth of it, and that's okay.  At least I'm familiar with ambiguous grief.  For the level of inner determination I felt, I had to adopt the embryos.  I had to spend the money and try the IUIs and at-home insemination and do the home studies and profile books and sign the legal contracts and have the surgeries and be repeatedly disappointed and hear the hard medical news (2x about me and 2x about nonviable embryo matches) and deeply question God's will and my abilities then repetitively seek wise counsel and reassuring words from Chet, Mom, Emily, Kristin, etc. and go through that ENTIRE exhausting emotional path in order to ever reach the end of my rope and prayerfully choose to let. this. go.  "There is a time to keep and a time to cast away," and both seasons mattered deeply for me here. ❤  I kind of feel like I am saying a final goodbye to that hope here as this year comes to a close, and it's bringing up some quiet grief and sadness for me (an odd contrast as I listen to my neighbors holding a comically-loud NYE party).  Knowing how to move forward with a sense of purpose is still tricky and difficult, and I'm choosing not to tie a neat bow over that wound today.

• Phrase That Describes This Year:  Learning Curve

Praying God blesses us with hope and peace as we seek Him in 2026!

❤ ❤ ❤

Twelve Drummers Drumming

1.  Our merry and bright annual friend trio pic!

2.  My Tulsa fam, the Wilsons and Weatherfords!

3.  Kelly's "Favorite Things" Christmas party!

4.  Triston Michael and I at my party on 12-20

5.  Mother/daughter pic by the Christmas banner!

6.  Iwanagas and Wilsons at the Bougie Charcuterie Party!

7.  Pic with Parker after The Nutcracker ballet!

8.  "A Mockey Little Christmas" Year #8

9.  Farewell lunch with Judge Brockman and Doris!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!! ❤

This = the final day in my 12 Days of Recaps with a few blog quotes and my top nine photos from each month of 2025!

DECEMBER:

"Resuming an activity after an interruption... extending the validity of a contract... repairing something that is worn out or broken.  Gracious, all of that speaks to me and applies to desires that are resurfacing."

~Renewal, 12-1-25

"I gave all the children's books I'd been saving to the wonderful Wilson fam, knowing they read to their children and have two young kids and one on the way... and it made me really happy to see Tate enjoying it!"

~Marble Jars and Kingdom Hope, 12-6-25

"We have a heart designed for the unending family-style connections and redemptive joy and lasting purpose that will. be. ours. forever. in the Kingdom of Heaven, and all the lovely things we experience here will always be partial and incomplete by comparison.  So make the most of all the joy you are given here, but let your heart find rest in the firm and secure Kingdom hope we have through Christ!  The best is yet to come, truly."
~Marble Jars and Kingdom Hope, 12-6-25

"Jessica was talking to Kantrell about how she has to be more careful about what she eats because her metabolism has changed since she was in her mid-20s, and Jon chimed in with: Pretty sure my metabolism changed when I was 8! lol"
~A Very Bougie Christmas, 12-7-25

"Most of us hide our preferences and conform in an effort to belong... this book is a roadmap for questioning the perceived norms, speaking honestly about our true values, and building healthier environments where AUTHENTICITY replaces conformity!"
~Final Books for 2025, 12-9-25

"Apple Music gave me my 2025 recap - I really laughed about Jon Bon Jovi being my top artist for the month of March!  I was on a Blaze of Glory kick and apparently listened to that one song enough to outrank any other artist that month."
~Blaze of Glory, 12-10-25

"[Kyndal]'s the best.  And watching that made me want to look back at my own childhood pics and videos with more grace and positivity! "
~Sassy, Brave, & Cute, 12-12-25

"I'm never likely to turn down a remote job, but I want to be very clear that I've loved my time in Cleveland County and been treated very well here!  Judge Brockman has given me his own gated parking space, worked with my school schedule, supported my adoption and counseling goals, and been great about taking care of the record!"

~Christmas Remix, 12-17-25

"Mockey and the Boys!  Thankful for the way these two have shown up for me over the past 15+ years... their Godly wisdom, genuine support, and all the laughter they bring into my life has gotten me through some rough seasons and shaped who I am today!"
~Feliz Navidad, 12-21-25

"'Grief must be witnessed, not fixed.'  ...When grief feels sharp for me, writing helps to soften it, and knowing my words will be read by even one person who cares about me helps me feel less alone in hard seasons."
~Surprise Last Day, 12-22-25

❤ ❤ ❤

Eleven Pipers Piping

1.  The fam at Jace's first 7th grade basketball game!

2.  Friend group pic at the Wilsons' Gender Reveal Party!

3.  Lunch with Ashley at La Baguette!

4.  OSU game with the Wilsons!

5.  The Finish Line stretch for Chet's 2nd Marathon!

6.  My redecorated room and new Peloton bike!

7.  OSU game with the Whitakers!

8.  Whataburger pic - Chet's Marathon Relay Team (minus Evan)!

9.  Post-decorating pic at Chet's KW Office!

Merry Christmas Eve, friends and family!!  This = month 11 in my 12 Days of Recaps with a few blog quotes and my top nine photos from each month of 2025!

NOVEMBER:

"Rach jokingly called me Harry Potter at one point, and I corrected that to Hermione (pronounced "her-my-knee").  Then Rach said, "Seriously, that's how you say it??  I always thought it was her-mee-own."  Like, get all the way out.  So yeah, she and her children clearly haven't even seen the movies and have zero business visiting the magic that is Harry Potter World! lol #muggles"
~Gaillardia Girls Night, 11-1-25

"The wonderful Wilson family will soon be a party of five, plus one in Heaven!  ...I'm realizing even as I write this that the above sentence now holds true for three of my favorite families on earth, which makes me feel even more grateful for the ironclad reality of Heaven... my heart feels every bit of this more this year, but there is so much joy to be found in life, and I would sincerely rather my emotions be heightened than numb."

~Gender Reveal!, 11-1-25

"A mentally healthy person does not avoid or trivialize their own pain; they acknowledge it, name it, and work through it... sometimes with the help of medication and/or a trusted friend, family member, or counselor! The only way out is through.  Keep going."
~Reality at All Costs, 11-2-25

"It was oddly validating and helpful to hear him say the counseling profession as it stands today is gradually collapsing - (a sad reality, but at least I feel less overwhelmed and alone in it).  He said it will take "phoenix leadership" to rise up and rebuild it...  He said he loves this profession for what it can be, not for what it has currently become.  And he gave me some solid advice on how to move forward if becoming a CCU professor is my goal!!"

~Island Items & Phoenix Leadership, 11-4-25

"I think one of the big things court reporting has taught me is to be more "shrewd."  Not cynical or fear-based or always assuming the worst, but less naive and gullible... being a sharper judge of character, and being more prepared and alert to real evil and danger."

~Courtroom Lessons, 11-6-25

"When my nervous system overreacts, it's liberating to breathe and remind myself, "[David], nobody cares."  Life is messy, and most people are too busy thinking about their current needs or their own awkward moments to stop and scrutinize mine."
~Discomfort Zone, 11-11-25

"It can be interesting to think about the various branches where life might have gone in another direction... there are literally thousands of them in all of our lives, for better or worse.  But remember to frame it with some realism and gratitude.  Adele is right - "Sometimes the road less traveled is the road best left behind."  Truly, through all the twists and turns, God is protective and caring.  He directs and redirects our steps, and we can trust Him to work in all things (tragedy and trauma included) for our good and for His glory!!  ❤"

~Alternate Universe, 11-14-25

"Within a 48-hour period, I received the two best job offers of my life last week!  And yesterday, I gladly accepted a court reporter position with the Oklahoma Corporation Commission! ❤"

~The Path of Peace, 11-18-25

"Today was really fun for me from start to finish!!  Chet so appreciated the relay team support, and I think all of us really enjoyed being a part of it.  I was thrilled to have the final leg with more photos and less running.  But seriously, round of applause for Chettles, who showed remarkable grit in finishing the marathon after being sick all week... then hosting everyone (27 people this year) for dinner a few hours later!"

~"Chet Pack" Relay Team!, 11-23-25

❤ ❤ ❤

Ten Lords A-Leaping

1.  Wednesday walk with Kristin at Central Park/The Station!

2.  Fan club for Jace's last home football game!

3.  Parker holding the baby as they provided respite foster care!

4.  Mom and Jaceman after his last 7th grade football game!

5.  11am OSU game fun with Dad and Rach!

6.  RIP Diane Keaton!

7.  My T-Swift inspired pic before seeing her album-launch movie on October 3rd!

8.  Heal Out Loud LifeGroup ladies (Good Boundaries & Goodbyes)!

9.  Gaillardia Halloween girls night with Rach, Kyndal, and Haydenn!

Merry Christmas-Eve Eve!!  Today will be my final day at the Cleveland County Courthouse - I'm excited about the job transition, and I am sincerely very grateful for my time there!  This = 12 Days of Recaps with a few blog quotes and my top nine photos from each month of 2025!

OCTOBER:

"Enough of this tortured poet nonsense.
Welcome back, vibrant and happy T-Swift! lol
Your long-time fans had missed you!!"

~Dancing Through the Lightning Strikes, 10-6-25

"[Emily] carefully asked whether it might be possible that my nervous system has become so accustomed to me being in a state of indecision and limbo that self-doubt feels like the most familiar path - (something I naturally default back into without much conscious awareness).  Umm, wow, yes!!"

~Breaking the Cycle, 10-8-25

"For years, I talked and wrote about becoming a single mom until it became hard to admit that I might want something different now.  In addition to all the roadblocks I encountered, my desire itself had begun to shift.  It’s not that I don’t ever want kids or don't believe I would be a good mom, but the “doing it alone” part began to feel more daunting and isolating than empowering and connecting."
~Safety Nets and Wet Paint, 10-11-25

"The Cowboys lost, but I can't express how little that mattered to me.  They fired Coach Gundy mid-season and their first and second string quarterbacks have been injured.  So it's a rough, slightly embarrassing, rebuilding kind of season for them, and on the metaphorical level, I totally relate to that and wish them all the best!"

~Football is Life, 10-12-25

"Either way, I know I am not alone in this frustrated perspective, but you cannot know how deeply flawed it all is until you're at the epicenter where you've invested so much time, money, and energy into this career that it becomes difficult to change course (the sunk cost fallacy)."
~Reality vs. Expectation, 10-18-25

"Having zero experience to speak from, I'm still firmly convinced I would be an excellent supportive wife, so I may venture back into the dating world eventually, and I will absolutely continue to work on my health goals, but in the meantime, I am truly grateful that, as an admittedly overweight and long-term single woman, I mostly feel cute and loved!"

~Everything Else, 10-18-25

"Embracing my own agency and power to choose and take action is literally the overarching theme of the last several years of my life... Emily and I also talked about how when you put others on a pedestal, it makes you smaller.  Then we talked about the litany of mixed messages I have received over the past four decades about the value of being small versus the value of being strong."

~Pedestals and Power, 10-23-25

"Me:  We've been talking about [dissertation topics], like, what do we want to be known for?
Dr. R:  Nooooo.  No, that's too much pressure!  You want to be known as "Doctor."  You can figure the rest of it out later."
~Photo Friday, 10-31-25

❤ ❤ ❤

Surprise Last Day!

Last night was Dad's staff Christmas party at Red Rock by Lake Hefner (love that location).  I sat between Kristin and Triston, and I chatted with them and Mom and Georgia, Alan, and Charlene!

I enjoyed the skillet cornbread, the salad (and my first time trying goat cheese), the potatoes and carrots, and the dessert!  And hopefully Kristin and/or Frankie enjoyed my chicken and ribs. lol  Mom and Triston loved their steaks, and everyone seemed happy with the food from what I could tell!

Asher Kenneth is a big fan of Santa Claus... not so much for Miss Karsten Blair!  Looking forward to seeing them tomorrow for an early lunch at Ted's!!

Doris got this cake for me this morning for what turned out to be my last day at the Cleveland County Courthouse!  (Judge told me around 4:15 that he was taking tomorrow off, so I gave them their gifts and packed the rest of my stuff to do the same - huzzah!!)

A lovely final afternoon walk around Main Street in Norman - surprisingly nice weather lately for December, so I took advantage of that!

The meme on the left made me laugh, in spite of me participating in that trend.

I tried a new prompt, and it randomly changed my eye color.  So now I know what I'd look like with blue eyes - turns out God knew what he was doing giving me brown. lol  I would adore that hair, though!!

For any Swifties out there, or really anyone at all, if you ask Siri to "Play Opalite by Taylor Swift," please let me know what happens??  Nearly every time I ask (which is fairly often, as it turns out), it plays her Elizabeth Taylor song instead -- those titles sound absolutely nothing alike, and it's become both comical and infuriating. lol  What on earth!?

The last of my things as I left work around 5:15 today!  Yay for Mom's rolling cart, and yay for her helping me get most of my things last weekend!!

I'm super grateful that Judge decided to take tomorrow off completely (he was originally just taking the afternoon off).  This will make all of our Christmas Eve Eve family plans feel stress-free for me, and it allowed this last workday to be all I wanted it to be.  I printed and filed my last transcript, backed everything up on SD cards, took a final walk around Norman, said my goodbyes to Judge and Doris (and Melissa and Leslie when they came down for cake), and grabbed dinner from Victoria's Pasta Shop and gelato from Apple Tree Chocolate one last time on my way home!!

My adorable friend, Hogie, at the Christmas Chute on this day last year!!  Gah, Corgi puppies are the very cutest!

Hilarious pic from a fun game night at Nancy's on this day in 2018!

Mel Robbins had David Kessler on her podcast this week, and they had a great conversation about grief HERE.  I'm on the very short list of people who feel drawn to that topic and always want to learn more.  One of my favorite things he says is: "Grief must be witnessed, not fixed."

The idea that it "must be witnessed" resonates for me, reminiscent of the Shall We Dance quote I've mentioned before:  "We need a witness to our lives...  In a marriage, you're promising to care about everything.  The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things... You're saying, 'Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it.  Your life will not go unwitnessed because I will be your witness.'"

So once again, thanks to my blog readers for being "witnesses" to the ups and downs of my life!  This year has been intense - some big and loud accomplishments and some quietly painful losses.  When grief feels sharp for me, writing helps to soften it, and knowing my words will be read by even one person who cares about me helps me feel less alone in hard seasons.

That's all I've got for today.

Happy surprise last day of work to me!

I wish you all a very Merry Christmas ahead!!

❤ ❤ ❤

Nine Ladies Dancing

1.  McAlister's lunch and catching up with Laura and Tiffany!

2.  Sunset walk at Central Park/The Station in Moore!

3.  Zoom meeting with Dr. Burkhart about his favorite books!

4.  After Jace Michael's first football game this season!

5.  Watching Jace's game with Mom and Rachael!

6.  Seeing Beth Moore live in Tulsa with Kantrell and Amber!

7.  Box seats for Leslie Odom Jr. in Hamilton in NYC!!

8.  Mission BBQ after the final Downton Abbey movie!

9.  Olive Garden with the fam!

This = 12 Days of Recaps with a few blog quotes and my top nine photos from each month of 2025!  Side note: What a strange and lyrically absurd song The 12 Days of Christmas is!

SEPTEMBER:

"Krystal had me lead our supervision group this week to practice Written Exposure Therapy, which I'm excited to try with clients moving forward!"
~Thankful Thursday #230, 9-4-25

"My other new purchases = the HamilTEN hoodie (obvi), a cute Texas t-shirt from the DFW airport, and my NYC M&M pajama pants!!  Some fun items to commemorate this solo adventure to Dallas and NYC!"

~Ready to Face Whatever's Awaiting Me in NYC, 9-15-25

"Lately, I haven’t felt quite okay or like myself.  I am overextended, overwhelmed, resisting depression, and numbing with food.  I had a moment of clarity while watching Gladys walk down the aisle, silently hoping someone would stop her and feeling trapped by the momentum of her own decisions."

~The Path of Life, 9-20-25

"My recent sonogram suggests that another surgery would be needed if I pursue pregnancy and embryo adoption.  This pattern of high vulnerability, high expense, and deferred hope has left me feeling numb... letting go of the motherhood dream would create a real void in my sense of purpose... I would need God's help to face that ambiguous grief, reframe my identity, and embrace His best for me -- whatever that looks like moving forward.
~The Path of Life, 9-20-25

"I really wanted a very clear "Let go" or "Hold on" theme, and instead I got the vague, "There is a time to keep and a time to cast away" passage, along with several peppy reminders from the teacher in Ecclesiastes that much of what happens under the sun is meaningless, senseless, futile, vain, absurd, and out of our control.  Beth said this book gives us "a soulmate in our anguished doubt." 

~Living Proof, 9-29-25

"After LOTS of prayer and back-and-forth inner wrestling and hard conversations and personal journaling and seeking clarity, I have decided to close the chapter on the embryo adoption journey.  I'm not closing my heart to motherhood, but not putting myself through any more physical, mental, and emotional hurdles on this particular route.  I am tired of life feeling "on pause," so finally making a decision and being able to move forward accordingly is a relief at this point, but there is grief that comes with it too."

~Living Proof, 9-29-25

"[On The Wedding People] - The main character is Phoebe, a detail-oriented, intelligent, and quietly depressed single woman in her early 40s who decides life isn't really worth living anymore after years of painful fertility struggles and bad relationship endings and slowly realizing her dream of motherhood will probably never happen and that all the hard work and time she put into her doctorate was barely interesting to her anymore and she is mostly unfulfilled by her work as a college literature professor.  Nope, not kidding... it's well written and relatable with a good redemptive arc in the end.  The emphasis is on our ability to change our minds and shift our course to create a vastly different life that makes us happier and more energized, which feels encouraging to me even now!"

~Brilliant Books, 9-30-25

❤ ❤ ❤

Eight Maids-A-Milking

1.  Parrish kids with Rach on the first day of school!
2.  Integrated Therapy Solutions' FB ad for me!
3.  Me and the Mini Miss K on her 12th Birthday (spaghetti fam dinner)!
4.  Dad's 72nd Birthday dinner at Longhorn Steakhouse!
5.  Andy's Custard with the fam after Dad's bday dinner!
6.  Meeting Ashley Campbell in person for the first time!
7.  Taylor and Travis getting engaged on 8-26-25!
8.  Shopping fun with Chet and the kids (the day I learned Karli was pregnant)!
9.  Book signing with the entire Campbell family in Broken Arrow!

This = 12 Days of Recaps with a few blog quotes and my top nine photos from each month of 2025!

AUGUST:

"I feel an increasing disenchantment with the counseling career path, and I'm uncertain about the next right step forward.  So pray with me for direction - for the strength to press forward or the courage to change course - whatever is most needed here!"
~The Next Right Step, 8-3-25

"She had a book signing event at Book and Bloom in Broken Arrow... an adorable bookstore & flower shop that she said reminded her of You've Got Mail.  For real, Main Street in Broken Arrow is the best, and they chose the perfect location for this event!  Oooh, and I stopped by the Laurannae Bakery Ashley had recommended afterward and had the very best cupcake ever, but let's not get sidetracked... The Campbell family is such a light in the world, and I'm happy this book will carry that light a little further!!"

~I've Never Been Here Before, 8-10-25

"I'm grateful that all of these pics hold equal weight for me in this moment; I no longer feel pain, longing, or loss when I see photos with Malori.  Thanks to the '7 years and 12 days' revelation from God, the soul tie that was gripping for me is finally gone.  The difference I am talking about is internal and intangible, but I am deeply aware of it - the power this once had over me is gone, and that's not a small thing."

~Carousel of Progress, 8-11-25

"A lot of other areas of my life feel suspended in limbo while I'm waiting to know something definitive (a clear yes or no on the pregnancy hopes), and that has been more challenging than I expected...  A repeated and loud thought when it comes to big life decisions lately has been, "You're on your own here."  The fruit of it has been a. lot. of extra pressure and stress/exhaustion."

~In Limbo (But Not Alone), 8-19-25

"A repeated theme in this documentary was that overweight people felt invisible and saw weight loss as the best path to being seen and valued.  So they were willing to make enormous sacrifices and sometimes compromises to get there.  Check, that resonates."

~Seen and Valued, 8-21-25

"I am signed up to co-author a chapter of a textbook written by CCU and Liberty University professors, so yay for adding that to the resume!"

~Prepared for Magic, 8-24-25

"I cannot bank my hopes on any specific answered prayer.  And I cannot be petty and frustrated with God when life doesn't pan out according to my dreams or my timeline.  (Easier to write than live out - it's been messy lately, but I want to honor God as I move forward.)"

~Diving Deeper, 8-25-25

"I've wanted more of an ongoing mentor-style relationship there, and today, [Dr. Burkhart] sent me a reusable calendar link to set up future meetings whenever he has available time.  I promised not to overuse it, and he responded saying, "I truly enjoy investing in the people I see great potential in." which totally made my day, even before hearing T-Swift's big news!! =)"

~NEW NEWS, 8-26-25

❤ ❤ ❤

Seven Swans A-Swimming

1.  Walking to the Big Dipper after Sarah's Birthday dinner at Charleston's!
2.  Pool party with the Whitaker fam around Diesel's birthday!
3.  Chet Lee's Birthday dinner at Whataburger!
4.  Seeing Superman in 4Dx with the Parrishes!
5.  Happy summer pic with two of my favorite people!
6.  Pool pic with presh Parker Elizabeth!
7.  My candidacy website launch... (it will make a comeback eventually)!
8.  Final Tulsa pic with the Shoemakers after the Farewell Fiesta party!
9.  Girls pic, 4th of July party at Mom and Dad's!

This = month number 7 in my 12 Days of Recaps with a few blog quotes and my top nine photos from each month of 2025!

JULY:

"You know when a player lobs the basketball from half-court as the buzzer goes off, and the shot goes in?  Well, in light of knowing it was the final day of the first half of 2025, yesterday felt kinda like that! lol  ...I received an email from Dallas IVF approving the embryo match, so that's big news and further than I've ever gotten before! ...I also finished setting up my HIPAA-compliant business email, simplified website, and Pyschology Today page, so YAY for getting those time-consuming-but-important things done yesterday!!"

~Halftime Pep Talk, 7-2-25

"Every once in a while, I'm just gripped with intense thankfulness to have a friend group like this.  Seeing Parker and Hope and Kristin holding hands while Chet prayed was one of those times."

~Food & Fireworks with Friends, 7-7-25

"Exactly six years ago today (7-7-19), Chet invited a few friends to help his clients paint their new home.  That was my first time meeting Mark and Rachel.  They came to Friendsgiving that November, and to nearly every fun friend group event over the past six years!  I so appreciate people who show up and participate and engage in conversation, and they've been top-tier, dependable friends in that way through the past six years!! With this move, they will be closer to their families and better able to support Rachel's mom through her cancer treatments.  So I'm sincerely happy for them, while being genuinely sad to see them go!"

~A Fond Farewell Fiesta, 7-7-25

"After 10.5 months without counseling a single client, my LPC-Candidacy has finally begun.  My first session back took every bit of two hours, but it went well... It's such a learning curve in the beginning with all the new software and mountain of paperwork and regulations and more, but the actual real life connection and the sense that (with God's help) I am capable of helping someone improve their life in a real and lasting way makes the rest feel very worth it... Trying to reframe the nerves as being excited - and honestly, both are true."

~I'm Back, 7-16-25

"Signed the contracts to officially adopt 2 living-but-frozen Snowflakes embryos (on 7-18-25 - YAY!!), writing a thank you note to the placing parent today, and navigating next steps and medical appointments moving forward... I'm planting good seeds, and God will decide what grows from it!"

~In God's Hands, 7-28-25

"Dr. Burkhart:  "I have seven weeks with you, and I want to push you as hard as I can, but I want you to know that I am doing that because I actually care.  I am 100% here to support you… My motto when it comes to teaching classes is: High expectations and high support!"

~High Expectations and High Support, 7-29-25

"The exit on the way to Dallas IVF is "Legacy Drive."  Reading that made me happy, so I snapped a picture... My emotions did such an intense down-and-back-up swing during that appointment - I feel truly relieved and grateful that I get to move forward here!"

~A Clear Path Forward, 7-30-25

(*The very next day, I got a voicemail from Dr. Ku that changed the entire trajectory of that story, but for that one day, things felt glittery and perfectly aligned.  Reading that post is still hard for me now, but I'm also highlighting it for myself to remember how easily we can get it wrong and misinterpret things as "signs from God" when we want something and get caught up in our emotions about it.  Not a shame-based thing, just a reminder to try to be emotionally healthy and prayerful and wise and maybe a bit better at guarding my heart in the future - not putting expectations on God for things He never directly promised.  Hard but important.)

❤ ❤ ❤