Feliz Navidad!

Couldn't decide on a post title, so I went with Chet Lee's favorite song. lol ;-)

This group pic from yesterday's party makes me happy!  Left to right, it's Dad, Melissa, Karli, Tate, Chet, Parker, Jace, Kyndal, Rachael, Ellie, Jeffrey, me, Mom, and Triston! 

Parker didn't take long to cozy up to Kyndal and Rach! =)

The brunch party menu included Gourmet Donuts (my fav donut shop in Norman), Candace's Cookie Creations (a CHA mom who has a side bakery business), pigs in a blanket, and CFA chicken minis and fruit! =) There was also H-Tea-O + apple cider, chocolate milk, and orange juice available!

Closer pic of the cute cookies. ❤

Parrishes by the tree (T came late and left early, so he wasn't a part of this pic, but something tells me he's okay with that)!

Rach was kind enough to take this group pic of our table! ❤

T-man and I - he's been busy applying to 20 colleges, and I'm proud of his hard work there!  (He's been accepted to OSU, OU, and a few schools in Colorado, and he is working on scholarship applications now).

Our attempt to get a fun outdoor pic (under the carport) by the nutcrackers Rach painted for Mom... you can only see one eye and the hat of each of them, which is hilarious to me!  As is the angle of this pic (from a phone camera with a timer resting precariously on Dad's car door handle). lol

Better pic of one of the aforementioned Nutcrackers...

Pistols firing!  Tate and Chettles took Dad's golf cart for a spin around the neighborhood!

"Mockey and the Boys!"

Thankful for the way these two have shown up for me over the past 15+ years... their Godly wisdom, genuine support, and all the laughter they bring into my life has gotten me through some rough seasons and shaped who I am today!

Parker and Ellie had fun hanging out with Dad!

We were first in line for the group pic, so Rach snapped this picture of us... just Chet, JEM, Ellie, me, Vivian, and Michaela! ;-)

The Jaceman did a brave-and-entertaining early Polar Bear plunge jump into the very cold pool, a preview of Chet's New Year's day party! lol

Mother/daughter pic by the Christmas banner!  (Kudos to Jen Hatmaker's "Black Friday deals" Amazon list for this red blazer jacket - a random pop-up on FB since I don't even follow her at this point, but I'm a fan of this cuteness!!)

A Mockey Little Christmas #8 (hosted by Mom) was a success!  I'm grateful my friends traveled from Tulsa to join our fam in OKC for this party for the 4th year in a row, and I'm grateful Tman and J&K were all able to come, and I'm happy that we had no drama or visits from the police this year!! lol

Mom came over last night and we worked on my home office a bit, working on closet shelves + cleaning and hanging my Oklahoma CSR, Texas CSR, RPR license, SNU diploma, and Chi Sigma Iota certificate... and most importantly, the red mirror that started in Mom's CR office in Lawton in 1977 and has been with me in Grady County, Creek County, and Cleveland County! ❤  Most people would wait and post a big reveal at the end, but I feel compelled to give little progress updates all along the way. lol 

Anywho, happy Christmas week, everyone!!  This glam-raccoon pic by the parks department made me laugh this week... and moments later, I asked ChatGPT to change my dress and headband to magenta-pink sequins. lol

Yes, please. lol  Ridiculous but fun!

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Ballets and Birthdays

Today was Parker Elizabeth's ballet performance in The Nutcracker with her Destiny Dance class!  It seemed like all of Tulsa showed up for it. lol The Union High parking lot was crazy crowded!

Yay for this group pic, and yay for this group! ❤

Karli Marie and Parker E pic before Act 1 - (she performed in Act 2).

Her presh ballet bun with the netting makes me happy, and her new unicorn made her very happy! lol

Screenshots from my video... she was the cutest lil' baker and seemed very excited to be on stage!

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Karli sent me these from her professional photo shoot - apparently, she was not a very willing participant that day. lol

Thankfully, she was a delight for tonight's performance! ❤

And got some ice cream to celebrate that! =)

Yay for our Mission BBQ dinner, and yay for Andy's dessert!  We had the place to ourselves on this extra-cold night!  Also, I ordered what I usually get at Freddy's... much like my Chicken Express vs. Charlie's Chicken mixup last week - what on earth!?  lol

And last but never least, Happy 36th Birthday to Taylor Alison today!  I definitely did the heart-hands along with the Eras crowd in theaters and while watching the docu-series alone in my living room last night. lolol

She was born on the 13th, and her birthday marks 13 days until Christmas - fun!

(And Taylor's lucky #13 + Travis' football #87 = 100.)  Get excited! ;-)

Okay, I'm off to watch episode two of that docu-series on Disney+ now.  Hope you've had a delightful Saturday!  I love you and believe in you, and I hope you pursue peace with God, yourself, and others today.

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A Very Bougie Christmas

Saturday night was Chet Lee's 5th Annual Bougie Charcuterie Board Christmas Party, his favorite event of the Christmas season!! ❤

Chettles decided to make the entire kitchen island a grazing board... it was a hit!!  He prefers the fancier cheeses, but I was very happy that this year's board included some easy grab-and-go cheese cubes and slices... yes, please! =)

The fruit tree! =)

Sushi platters, courtesy of Debbie - also a hit, just not in my world! =)

Dessert boards, including Little Debbie Christmas tree cakes!! lol

There was also puppy chow and fruit dip and great punch and hot chocolate and tea!  The Wilsons do such a great job putting together this fun party every year!!

As per usual, Chet was busy hosting and helping newbies feel comfortable, so we caught up after the party.  Chettles is a natural connector who befriends everyone he meets, so this yearly event includes his neighbors, church friends, new pastor, coworkers, lenders, clients, dentist, Chick-Fil-A friends, and the usual core friend group!

Leasa from Chick-Fil-A, aka Chet's mobile office. lol

Tree pic with the fabulous Foster fam before they left!

New piano player this year - she didn't take requests on the Christmas carols, but she played fantastic background music like the Home Alone song and Where Are You Christmas and other movie gems!

Christmas carols... always entertaining and cute!  We sang without booklets this time, so we were struggling and Googling the words for some of the verses. lol

It was a drill weekend for Steve, so he and Sarah arrived around the time Don and Kantrell were leaving... but I insisted on this photo since they all had on bright red sweaters with sparkling Chrstimas lights! lol

Bill and Melissa brought the kids back home toward the end of the night... I was so happy to see them again, and they were thrilled to get some fun snacks and see everyone for a bit!

Stephen took our annual friend trio pic... cuteness!  He had the phone up nice and high, then wordlessly started to bring it down to a far less flattering angle, and Chet and I both said "No" in unison. LOL

When I wasn't snacking in the kitchen, I spent quality time at the dining table laughing and talking with the Fosters, Myers, and Bradleys... then that group left and the Fultons arrived, so I caught up with Sarah and Steve for a while (getting updated on David's hospital drama and other family and school stuff).  This is a kid-free event, so when all the parents had gone home, it was the Iwanagas; Chet's neighbor, Mark; myself; and the Wilson fam!  Here's the final pics with Paul and Stephanie and the Wilsons (this photo was by Tate)!  It made me happy that Stephanie and I both went with our bling jeans for this bougie soiree! ;-)

Stephanie set her phone up on a timer, resulting in some cute selfies of the kids! lol

And a fun group shot that included all of us!!

All in all, it was a very fun party with lots of great food!!  My favorite quote of the night came from Jon Foster - Jessica was talking to Kantrell about how she has to be more careful about what she eats because her metabolism has changed since she was in her mid-20s, and Jon chimed in with "Pretty sure my metabolism changed when I was 8!"  lol  Kantrell and I quickly joined him in lamenting that we've really never experienced the lovely high-metabolism life, but kudos to those who did!!

"Mini-wave in celebration of ME!" lol ;-)  
(This is courtesy of Steve not paying attention to my fun photo prop.)

Mmkay, that's all for this post!

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Marble Jars and Kingdom Hope

What. a. Preshface!! ❤

She was so proud showing me how she could write her name - YAY, every letter was exciting, and I applauded her!  She even threw in a faux-cursive signature under the print... coming back in dramatically to dot her i's, so it must have been her middle or last name. lol ;-)  I like that she took her time and alternated pink and purple markers and drew blanks for all her letters before filling them in.  I also like that they had been home all day, but she chose to wear her fancy Christmas dress around the house! lol  She's the very best.

This = Tate showing me the origami section he liked in The Highlights Book of Things to Do, then showing me several paper hats and cups he had already made following the book's instructions! ❤

Childhood me would have loved this book - anything with unique/random facts or creative, kid-friendy project ideas was interesting and fun to me!  I bought it a few years back, along with some great Christian books, as gifts for my future child/children.  In the process of reorganizing my home and paring down my book collection -- and in the aftermath of letting go of embryo adoption -- I decided it was healthier to let those books go too.  I donated loads of my recently used books to Goodwill, but I gave all the children's books I'd been saving to the wonderful Wilson fam, knowing they read to their children and have two young kids and one on the way... and it made me really happy to see Tate enjoying it!!

Him in his Santa hat with his origami hat collection and her on her tiptoes in her fancy Christmas dress -- I just really love them both, and I am infinitely grateful for my friendship with their family. ❤

As I left work on Thursday, I got an unexpected email from the GoFundMe account for Kristen Harriss.  Her parents were writing a final message to sincerely thank everyone who had donated and to share that the support meant a lot to them and to Kristen, in spite of things not turning out the way we all had hoped.  They also explained that there was a small surplus of money that they would be donating to a children's charity in Kristen's name, as kids were always near and dear to her heart.  That hit me hard, as did the idea of this being their first Christmas without her.  The holiday season always amplifies things (the joys and the struggles), and I'm feeling some lingering sadness and heaviness and maybe a bit of fear about the idea of not becoming a mom and what that means for me moving forward.  Praying for Jesus to catch my heart on that, and reminding myself to appreciate all the beauty that is present now.

The Wilsons are high on that list for me - I joined them for dinner before Kelly's Favorite Things Party on Friday, then saw them again for Chet's favorite party of the year tonight!

I got some quality time with this mini-BFF, Parker Elizabeth, on both days.

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Brene Brown uses a marble jar metaphor for trust, saying that as relationships develop over time, we add marbles to the jar as people prove themselves trustworthy, and we subtract them when people hurt or betray our trust...

"When we think about betrayal in terms of the marble jar metaphor, most of us think of someone we trust doing something so terrible that it forces us to grab the jar and dump out every single marble. What’s the worst betrayal of trust? He sleeps with my best friend. She lies about where the money went. He/she chooses someone over me. Someone uses my vulnerability against me (an act of emotional treason that causes most of us to slam the entire jar to the ground rather than just dumping out the marbles). All terrible betrayals, definitely, but there is a particular sort of betrayal that is more insidious and equally corrosive to trust.

In fact, this betrayal usually happens long before the other ones. I’m talking about the betrayal of disengagement. Of not caring. Of letting the connection go. Of not being willing to devote time and effort to the relationship. The word betrayal evokes experiences of cheating, lying, breaking a confidence, failing to defend us to someone else who’s gossiping about us, and not choosing us over other people. These behaviors are certainly betrayals, but they’re not the only form of betrayal. If I had to choose the form of betrayal that emerged most frequently from my research and that was the most dangerous in terms of corroding the trust connection, I would say disengagement.

When the people we love or with whom we have a deep connection stop caring, stop paying attention, stop investing and fighting for the relationship, trust begins to slip away and hurt starts seeping in. Disengagement triggers shame and our greatest fears - the fears of being abandoned, unworthy, and unlovable. What can make this covert betrayal so much more dangerous than something like a lie or an affair is that we can’t point to the source of our pain - there’s no event, no obvious evidence of brokenness. It can feel crazy-making."

~Brene Brown, Daring Greatly

This helped me, and for those who have experienced this form of betrayal, I hope this quote helps you feel less alone or irrational in the middle of your pain.  It HURTS when someone you love disengages and gradually pulls away, and you typically know it long before anyone outside the relationship notices anything is wrong.  I have been guilty of this myself at times as well as being on the receiving end of it.  It's the passive-aggressive and cowardly choice, and I hope to choose courage from today forward.  Don't play games or just hope someone gets the hint, but be honest with people if you're upset with them or you want to redefine the relationship.  Be hot or be cold, but don't be lukewarm.  That's my free advice for the day. :)

~Blog excerpt from August 2014 Lindsey

I saw Brene's video (below) on that topic this morning, which inspired me to find that old blog post.  It goes along with a lot of my deeper thoughts and what I'm seeing/experiencing with friendships lately.  Disengagement is a low-level, lazy form of betrayal, and staying engaged is a high-level, intentional way to let your people know they matter.  Showing up, showing interest and excitement, genuinely caring... it matters every time!

And on that note, Chettles is a proven and trusted "marble jar friend" for me, and I'm thankful for the big and small ways he consistently shows up for his family, friends, neighbors, and coworkers.  

Fun fact: These pics are exactly 15 years apart.  Joining the ridiculously early morning Today Show crowd in NYC December 2010, then a random pic with the Thunder-Chet sign his neighbor brought tonight! lol

Final subject change:  While catching up with Paul and Stephanie, I mentioned that I would likely be moving back to Tulsa sometime in the next couple years.  Paul quietly said, "I remember why you moved down there - how is the adoption journey going for you?"  It was really kind, and it caught me off guard.  I cleared my throat and stammered out a slightly awkward but sincere "Thank you for asking" before briefly explaining that my pursuit of embryo adoption had ended after medical issues complicated things.  They truly understand, and we moved on to other topics without much issue, but I was genuinely glad that he asked and showed interest.

So as I sit in my beautifully cozy, quiet home and process this first week of truly fun Christmas parties and good conversations and ramped-up grief emotions and soooo much talk about family and children and new year hopes and dreams, all of the above feels like a very solid reminder for me to keep my heart anchored in Kingdom hope.  We have a heart designed for the unending family-style connections and redemptive joy and lasting purpose that will. be. ours. forever. in the Kingdom of Heaven, and all the lovely things we experience here will always be partial and incomplete by comparison.  So make the most of all the joy you are given here, but let your heart find rest in the firm and secure Kingdom hope we have through Christ!  The best is yet to come, truly.

 

In the meantime, remember that your presence matters - disengagement is a form of betrayal - show up for the people you care about, for the people who have been there for you!

Okay, friends!  I'll keep it lighter and post fun party pics tomorrow!!

❤ ❤ ❤