Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness

Happy Tuesday, blog-reading friends!  I'm writing from Mom's room in the Burn & Wound Care Unit of the hospital, my home for this current work week!

I brought her here last Friday for her fourth (and FINAL) wound-vac change, and the PA quickly talked us into coming back on Monday for a skin graft surgery procedure - they said she could stay five days for better pain management, and it has absolutely been helpful so far!  It's not perfect, but we are very grateful for getting into the system here... for Dr. Lentz and Taylor (who did the surgery), and caring nurses Rose, Demarco, Stuart, Matt, and Jennifer!

This = Mom and I before her appointment Friday 

Fare thee well, wound-vac.  We shan't miss you! lol

(Really, I'm grateful it kept her healthy and infection-free.  But it made a consistent suction noise similar to snoring, and there were issues with leaks where the machine would beep at us and I'd have to try to put more tape over her wound to stop the air-leak hissing sound - most often between 3 and 5am.)

Thank you notes...

Adding Brandon and Whitney to the list - he called to check in on Mom, then they stopped by and brought flowers the next day

And Kim Love - she and Kenny made a surprise visit on Sunday bringing dinner and a variety pack of cookies! 

I was up past 2AM finishing my transcript on Sunday - partly my own fault because I had to come watch the last 30 minutes of A Few Good Men when I saw that it was on... such a fantastic movie!!

Roses from Brandon & Whitney

Transcript time - with approximately 500,000 important breaks over the past week. lol  But I got it done and filed in ALL TWENTY case numbers on Monday morning!!!

I spent Saturday morning and afternoon touring OKC and Edmond apartments with T-man!

We saw some good ones, including The Oak OKC and the Parc at Kelly Pointe

❤

I love blue in a kitchen... I'm a fan!

We stopped for a fun lunch at Shake Shack in OKC - new to me, and I'm super-thrilled about it!  

(Good shakes, burgers, chicken sandwiches, mac n' cheese, and fries with NYC travel vibes!)

This one was downtown called The Bower.  He ended up going with a fantastic apartment near Nichols Hills!  I co-signed the lease, and he is moving in on FRIDAY!!  I was excited when I realized that was 8-28 (as in Romans 8:28 "All things work together for good").

AFD and JW got married on August 21st - CONGRATS to them!

All the posts about this event made me happy!

Megan Elizabeth is pregnant with her first baby boy - this = her and Tim with her niece, Afton, at the gender reveal party!!

Natalie and Walker had an awesome trip to South Carolina - praying for continued healing and peace in their lives!

This = me hosting Zoom court yesterday and this morning in hospital waiting rooms... yay for doing whatever it takes, and yay for the Integris hospital WiFi working for me!

Mom and I watching K's volleyball game this afternoon - another CHA victory!

Yay for Rach setting up these videos for us - Mom is such a fan and would hate to miss a moment!

Miss K serving it up!

Random ceiling tile in Mom's hospital room (the rest are plain) - I'm curious about the story behind it.

The Parrishes brought Shake Shack to-go for Mom and I tonight ❤

Midway through two weeks of experiencing the ins and outs of two very different hospital systems, I have lots of thoughts churning about the importance of leadership, genuine care, and service, particularly in the healthcare arena.  

Related:  I have a meeting set with Dr. Burkhart tomorrow to help solidify my decision, but I am praying about moving into a new degree path with the Doctorate in Strategic Leadership at Liberty University (only because it is not offered at CCU yet).  My interests have gradually shifted more and more in that direction over the past few years, so I am praying for wisdom and God-ordained exciting and meaningful leadership opportunities!!

I am grateful this week for the doors God is opening and closing, for the big and little ways He is showing up.  Grateful for every friend, family member, and medical professional who cares enough to act on it.  Grateful to be needed and helpful for Mom, and happy to feel like I'm learning valuable things as I observe everything here.  Trusting in God's new-every-morning grace and mercy, giving me exactly what I need to get through day by day.  I'm grateful that my nervous system is gradually returning to a place of peace and a sound mind... and that Mom's body is stabilizing and making substantial healing progress with well-controlled pain (especially comparing it to the excruciating pain of her 2011 skin graft).  

For the most part, this hospital room is much quieter without constant monitors going off or the wound vac noise.  However, we are in the Burn & Wound Care center, and occasionally, we've heard the groanings of burn victims enduring painful medical care - which was very heavy and really upsetting for Mom this morning.  We both need permeating God-given peace and rest - mind, body, soul, and spirit - God is providing those things for us, along with regular reminders to pray and seek Him!  I am grateful for the slow down, while also feeling grateful for the reminders (Annie's wedding, Megan's pregnancy, Triston's move) that life goes on and there are better seasons and happier times ahead, (starting with Mom being able to attend football and volleyball games that bring her so much joy).  Between mentally decorating Chet's new living room shelves for Christmas and furnishing Triston's new apartment, Mom has had an easier time keeping her mind off of the pain.  I'm grateful she had an excellent doctor and that God is bringing life and healing in Mom's body, something we've prayed for together several times these past couple weeks.  Grateful for seasons of rest and recovery that lead us into renewed strength.  Grateful for simple things that make life rich and vibrant, for a new open door for the Leadership PhD at Liberty, and for the ongoing pursuit of happiness, peace, and purpose!!
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Sunday Refresh

You know the scene from the first Inside Out where Joy draws a circle around Sadness and tells her to stay put, then Riley struggles silently trying to hold it together and keep every emotion under control... then when Joy finally lets Sadness have the controls for a minute (causing Riley to feel everything and cry), Riley finally receives the support she needs and is able to feel real joy in that too!?  

This weekend has been a lot like that.

When I accidentally made a 4AM phone call to a random woman while researching and trying to get info about the Silverstein Burn Center for Mom's treatment, I knew I was not quite okay.  I decided to entrust Mom to God and Dad for that morning and go to LifeGroup -- (she actually got sick and threw up, but everyone survived and nothing catastrophic went wrong).  After finally letting myself feel everything from the past week and crying pretty hard on the phone call with Chet (a trusted friend who listened well and responded with decisive compassionate action), I immediately felt better and more aware that I needed to be taking better care of myself.  Talking with the LG girls immediately after that was helpful and encouraging.  I went home and grabbed some workout clothes before heading back to Mom and Dad's for the night - I took a short walk/jog and listened to some music for the first time in a long while - both really nice and cathartic, even in the crazy summer heat.  Movement is medicine. =)  I texted with Tiffany and Kristin and took Kristin up on her offer to bring me a Coke icee (yum!) - it was good to see her and the boys for a minute, even though I failed to get a photo with them!  I had a good conversation with Mom about all of this, took some time to blog (always a processing outlet), and slept a bit more than usual this morning.  I enlisted Kristie's support (Mom's nurse friend who is coming to be with her tomorrow); and Rach talked with a CHA mom who has connections with the Integris Burn Center, and we all feel hopeful about that for better pain management for Mom moving forward - (prayers appreciated).

And last but never least, Chet Lee and Karli Marie made the trip from Tulsa to come see us!!  This pic = us at the Agua Fresca stand in Midwest City.  It brings me lots of joy that the guy posed with us! ❤

My walk/jog and Mom and Dad's old house

Ashley with the neck fan sneaking some pics at LifeGroup!  I really do own other shirts, but this was the main nicer shirt that I brought to Mom and Dad's, so it's in loads of photos from the past 3 days.  Alaska already feels very long ago.

Making vegetable beef soup in Mom's crockpot for our dinner tonight!  They also brought everything to make ahead and freeze easy meals for sheet-pan chicken fajitas and beef tacos!  It was good for my soul to see them and hang out and smell good food cooking in the kitchen...

Tate and Parker stayed with Bill and Melissa (how adorable are they in this pic!?)

But Miss Paige Evelyn made the trip with her parents! =)

Chet was excited about seeing the Agua Fresca stand on their way in, so we made a short trip to visit them (Karli got strawberries & cream; I got pineapple; Chet got pineapple and coconut).  Rachael was at the house watching Paige, and she and Dad were both there to help Mom if needed.  It was a short drive, but very refreshing!

On our way there, we drove by 9121 so I could show them the house where I grew up (& rant about just how badly the people who moved in after us ruined that house and yard). lol  And on our way back, we stopped for them to see Dad's office, which Chet said had an old school vibe that was great and very fitting for Dad!

The bluest eyes. ❤

Mom on a short walk getting a pic with the Wilsons!

Paige looking tired; me feeling that with her!

Tman stopping by to see Mom and catch up with Chet and Karli!

Some leftover bday cake to celebrate Kyndal Faith! lol

The Wilsons and the bedazzled Wilson basketball!  Simple things like this bring me stupid amounts of joy! =)

It was really good to see them and feel supported with some healthier and higher protein homemade meal options for Mom as she recovers!

Rach stopped by with J&K after their weekend at Josh's, and Tman and Carter stopped by around the same time (7:30ish) before grabbing dinner together... I know it made Mom happy to see them all together having fun.  She mentioned somewhere in there that she felt better than she had all week.  I felt the same way getting to catch up with Kristin and the Wilsons for a bit - just a sense of normalcy and support and joy in the midst of a heavy and chaotic week.

The fam again - must change shirts ASAP. lol

Flowers Carter Lee brought for Mamaw!

Kyndal somehow beat all 3 of her older brothers playing basketball, and it was definitely talked about for a few minutes amongst the siblings.  I made this collage for FB...

Kyndal:  "OMG yes, that's the best post EVER!  Two boys crying, one boy jealous, and one girl happy and victorious!" lolol  She's hilarious and fun and admirably confident, and I just love it!

So in closing on this memorable week where I've had so much to process and write about, three cheers for authenticity!  Let yourself feel what you need to feel and talk/write about it... and let other people support you!! 

Make the calls when you need some extra support and connection - maybe the other person will get a lot out of it too!

Praying for a more peaceful week ahead - goodnight!!

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Homecoming!

In the aftermath of our OU Hospital stay, Dad greeted us with Mom's walker as we got to their front door.  She did really well getting in and out of my car, then she went straight to her recliner, immediately reporting that it was "so much better" than her hospital chair.  YAY!

Pic around 9 PM that night after Rach picked Jace up from football practice - Kyndal had been blowing up lots of balloons for her Thunder-themed party the next day! ❤

Mom changed out of her hospital gown and settled in to rest for a bit while I rushed home to shower and grab an overnight bag, then pick up her prescriptions before the Parrishes met us here for dinner (we got Rib Crib; they got Taco Casa - no one was doing any cooking work that night).  Here's our family dinner pic (Jace was at football practice from 6-8).

A cake for the Miss K's birthday eve with the fam!

Dad and Jace chatting about football over dessert

It was very good to be back home, and we both slept much better without the ever-present hospital soundtrack in the background!

Since then, Mom has had visits from the Myricks, Kristie, Mrs. Garner, the Whitakers, and the Wilson fam!  Mrs. Garner praying for her: "Lord, we thank You for the angels that were her seatbelt, and we thank you that she'll be wearing her seatbelt from today forward." lol #Amen

Katie offered to take LifeGroup back this weekend, which was perfect.  Chet Lee returned my call right as I pulled into Katie's driveway.  My time feels so limited, and I was mildly upset that I hadn't been able to talk with him on the 30-minute drive there.  A few seconds into our convo, he asked me if everything was okay, and even I was caught off guard by how quickly and intensely I started crying! lol

Big picture - Mom is doing very well, and we're glad to be home!  That's the general script, and it is true but incomplete.  The closeup view for those who really care is different.  We had a scary moment on Friday where an unknown random arm movement caused her broken rib to move in just such a way that made it very hard for her to breathe.  It was so sudden and jarring, and hearing her take ragged breaths while trying to walk to her chair with only me there for support was hard.  She recovered pretty quickly once she was seated, and we both marveled at what on earth was that!?  Not too long afterward, she initiated a pretty intense "If I die..." kind of conversation (again with just me there).  I'll keep those details private, and I 1000% want to honor her wishes and am ready for deeper conversations like that whenever others want or need to have them!  I also understand the emotional pendulum swing, especially after being in a near-fatal car accident and being in the hospital for a week and hearing varied difficult news about her health status.  Since she's been back here, she moves from feeling pretty strong and overdoing it (trying to help decorate or clean for Kyndal's party) to feeling some hopelessness/anxiousness about the potential for recovery from such a major wound.  Praying with hope and expectation for those emotions to stabilize back out soon (for Mom and for myself), for strength and joy and good support as she continues to recover, and for legitimate pain management help! ❤

So anyway, discussing all of the above, I cried for a bit on the phone call with Chet Lee.  He handled it well and was quiet and kind and supportive -- ((in a later convo, he said, "Well, I've been trained to just stop and listen and give it some space..." I thought that was fantastic and wondered if it came from Bold or something.  I said "Oh, by who?"  And he said "...you!" lolol  I've laughed about that a few times since.  He and Karli made a trip to see us today, and it was great - more on that later tonight!))  Mmkay, so Ashley arrived late for LifeGroup and saw me crying pretty hard in my car, immediately running to open the door and hug me. lol  I went in soon afterward, and ended up talking with them (more calmly) about the whole situation - the pressure of caregiving, the sleep deprivation, the intense high and low emotions, and the added sadness/pressure that comes with realizing Dad's capacity to help here is more limited now.  We listened to Louie Giglio's Don't Give the Enemy a Seat at Your Table sermon, and it held lots of encouraging gems.  It was also just good for me to be there and feel that support - Natalie quietly grabbed my hand when I sat down and she could tell I'd been crying.  And my sharing started others down a similar path, so it was a pretty good and deep talk that morning!

We had a new woman join us who has a cute baby named Esther! ❤

Other than that, we've enjoyed our nightly FaceTime calls from Jace and Kyndal - hearing about his football scrimmages (he officially decided to stay at CHA for his 8th grade year, and we are thankful for God's protection there).

And the Miss K - always entertaining and ready with extra-detailed stories - perhaps she gets that from me! lol

More on her birthday next post!

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