Ballets and Birthdays

Today was Parker Elizabeth's ballet performance in The Nutcracker with her Destiny Dance class!  It seemed like all of Tulsa showed up for it. lol The Union High parking lot was crazy crowded!

Yay for this group pic, and yay for this group! ❤

Karli Marie and Parker E pic before Act 1 - (she performed in Act 2).

Her presh ballet bun with the netting makes me happy, and her new unicorn made her very happy! lol

Screenshots from my video... she was the cutest lil' baker and seemed very excited to be on stage!

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Karli sent me these from her professional photo shoot - apparently, she was not a very willing participant that day. lol

Thankfully, she was a delight for tonight's performance! ❤

And got some ice cream to celebrate that! =)

Yay for our Mission BBQ dinner, and yay for Andy's dessert!  We had the place to ourselves on this extra-cold night!  Also, I ordered what I usually get at Freddy's... much like my Chicken Express vs. Charlie's Chicken mixup last week - what on earth!?  lol

And last but never least, Happy 36th Birthday to Taylor Alison today!  I definitely did the heart-hands along with the Eras crowd in theaters and while watching the docu-series alone in my living room last night. lolol

She was born on the 13th, and her birthday marks 13 days until Christmas - fun!

(And Taylor's lucky #13 + Travis's football #87 = 100.)  Get excited! ;-)

Okay, I'm off to watch the rest of that docu-series on Disney+ now.  Hope you've had a delightful Saturday!  I love you and believe in you, and I hope you pursue peace with God, yourself, and others today.

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A Very Bougie Christmas

Saturday night was Chet Lee's 5th Annual Bougie Charcuterie Board Christmas Party, his favorite event of the Christmas season!! ❤

Chettles decided to make the entire kitchen island a grazing board... it was a hit!!  He prefers the fancier cheeses, but I was very happy that this year's board included some easy grab-and-go cheese cubes and slices... yes, please! =)

The fruit tree! =)

Sushi platters, courtesy of Debbie - also a hit, just not in my world! =)

Dessert boards, including Little Debbie Christmas tree cakes!! lol

There was also puppy chow and fruit dip and great punch and hot chocolate and tea!  The Wilsons do such a great job putting together this fun party every year!!

As per usual, Chet was busy hosting and helping newbies feel comfortable, so we caught up after the party.  Chettles is a natural connector who befriends everyone he meets, so this yearly event includes his neighbors, church friends, new pastor, coworkers, lenders, clients, dentist, Chick-Fil-A friends, and the usual core friend group!

Leasa from Chick-Fil-A, aka Chet's mobile office. lol

Tree pic with the fabulous Foster fam before they left!

New piano player this year - she didn't take requests on the Christmas carols, but she played fantastic background music like the Home Alone song and Where Are You Christmas and other movie gems!

Christmas carols... always entertaining and cute!  We sang without booklets this time, so we were struggling and Googling the words for some of the verses. lol

It was a drill weekend for Steve, so he and Sarah arrived around the time Don and Kantrell were leaving... but I insisted on this photo since they all had on bright red sweaters with sparkling Chrstimas lights! lol

Bill and Melissa brought the kids back home toward the end of the night... I was so happy to see them again, and they were thrilled to get some fun snacks and see everyone for a bit!

Stephen took our annual friend trio pic... cuteness!  He had the phone up nice and high, then wordlessly started to bring it down to a far less flattering angle, and Chet and I both said "No" in unison. LOL

When I wasn't snacking in the kitchen, I spent quality time at the dining table laughing and talking with the Fosters, Myers, and Bradleys... then that group left and the Fultons arrived, so I caught up with Sarah and Steve for a while (getting updated on David's hospital drama and other family and school stuff).  This is a kid-free event, so when all the parents had gone home, it was the Iwanagas; Chet's neighbor, Mark; myself; and the Wilson fam!  Here's the final pics with Paul and Stephanie and the Wilsons (this photo was by Tate)!  It made me happy that Stephanie and I both went with our bling jeans for this bougie soiree! ;-)

Stephanie set her phone up on a timer, resulting in some cute selfies of the kids! lol

And a fun group shot that included all of us!!

All in all, it was a very fun party with lots of great food!!  My favorite quote of the night came from Jon Foster - Jessica was talking to Kantrell about how she has to be more careful about what she eats because her metabolism has changed since she was in her mid-20s, and Jon chimed in with "Pretty sure my metabolism changed when I was 8!"  lol  Kantrell and I quickly joined him in lamenting that we've really never experienced the lovely high-metabolism life, but kudos to those who did!!

"Mini-wave in celebration of ME!" lol ;-)  
(This is courtesy of Steve not paying attention to my fun photo prop.)

Mmkay, that's all for this post!

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Marble Jars and Kingdom Hope

What. a. Preshface!! ❤

She was so proud showing me how she could write her name - YAY, every letter was exciting, and I applauded her!  She even threw in a faux-cursive signature under the print... coming back in dramatically to dot her i's, so it must have been her middle or last name. lol ;-)  I like that she took her time and alternated pink and purple markers and drew blanks for all her letters before filling them in.  I also like that they had been home all day, but she chose to wear her fancy Christmas dress around the house! lol  She's the very best.

This = Tate showing me the origami section he liked in The Highlights Book of Things to Do, then showing me several paper hats and cups he had already made following the book's instructions! ❤

Childhood me would have loved this book - anything with unique/random facts or creative, kid-friendy project ideas was interesting and fun to me!  I bought it a few years back, along with some great Christian books, as gifts for my future child/children.  In the process of reorganizing my home and paring down my book collection -- and in the aftermath of letting go of embryo adoption -- I decided it was healthier to let those books go too.  I donated loads of my recently used books to Goodwill, but I gave all the children's books I'd been saving to the wonderful Wilson fam, knowing they read to their children and have two young kids and one on the way... and it made me really happy to see Tate enjoying it!!

Him in his Santa hat with his origami hat collection and her on her tiptoes in her fancy Christmas dress -- I just really love them both, and I am infinitely grateful for my friendship with their family. ❤

As I left work on Thursday, I got an unexpected email from the GoFundMe account for Kristen Harriss.  Her parents were writing a final message to sincerely thank everyone who had donated and to share that the support meant a lot to them and to Kristen, in spite of things not turning out the way we all had hoped.  They also explained that there was a small surplus of money that they would be donating to a children's charity in Kristen's name, as kids were always near and dear to her heart.  That hit me hard, as did the idea of this being their first Christmas without her.  The holiday season always amplifies things (the joys and the struggles), and I'm feeling some lingering sadness and heaviness and maybe a bit of fear about the idea of not becoming a mom and what that means for me moving forward.  Praying for Jesus to catch my heart on that, and reminding myself to appreciate all the beauty that is present now.

The Wilsons are high on that list for me - I joined them for dinner before Kelly's Favorite Things Party on Friday, then saw them again for Chet's favorite party of the year tonight!

I got some quality time with this mini-BFF, Parker Elizabeth, on both days.

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Brene Brown uses a marble jar metaphor for trust, saying that as relationships develop over time, we add marbles to the jar as people prove themselves trustworthy, and we subtract them when people hurt or betray our trust...

"When we think about betrayal in terms of the marble jar metaphor, most of us think of someone we trust doing something so terrible that it forces us to grab the jar and dump out every single marble. What’s the worst betrayal of trust? He sleeps with my best friend. She lies about where the money went. He/she chooses someone over me. Someone uses my vulnerability against me (an act of emotional treason that causes most of us to slam the entire jar to the ground rather than just dumping out the marbles). All terrible betrayals, definitely, but there is a particular sort of betrayal that is more insidious and equally corrosive to trust.

In fact, this betrayal usually happens long before the other ones. I’m talking about the betrayal of disengagement. Of not caring. Of letting the connection go. Of not being willing to devote time and effort to the relationship. The word betrayal evokes experiences of cheating, lying, breaking a confidence, failing to defend us to someone else who’s gossiping about us, and not choosing us over other people. These behaviors are certainly betrayals, but they’re not the only form of betrayal. If I had to choose the form of betrayal that emerged most frequently from my research and that was the most dangerous in terms of corroding the trust connection, I would say disengagement.

When the people we love or with whom we have a deep connection stop caring, stop paying attention, stop investing and fighting for the relationship, trust begins to slip away and hurt starts seeping in. Disengagement triggers shame and our greatest fears - the fears of being abandoned, unworthy, and unlovable. What can make this covert betrayal so much more dangerous than something like a lie or an affair is that we can’t point to the source of our pain - there’s no event, no obvious evidence of brokenness. It can feel crazy-making."

~Brene Brown, Daring Greatly

This helped me, and for those who have experienced this form of betrayal, I hope this quote helps you feel less alone or irrational in the middle of your pain.  It HURTS when someone you love disengages and gradually pulls away, and you typically know it long before anyone outside the relationship notices anything is wrong.  I have been guilty of this myself at times as well as being on the receiving end of it.  It's the passive-aggressive and cowardly choice, and I hope to choose courage from today forward.  Don't play games or just hope someone gets the hint, but be honest with people if you're upset with them or you want to redefine the relationship.  Be hot or be cold, but don't be lukewarm.  That's my free advice for the day. :)

~Blog excerpt from August 2014 Lindsey

I saw Brene's video (below) on that topic this morning, which inspired me to find that old blog post.  It goes along with a lot of my deeper thoughts and what I'm seeing/experiencing with friendships lately.  Disengagement is a low-level, lazy form of betrayal, and staying engaged is a high-level, intentional way to let your people know they matter.  Showing up, showing interest and excitement, genuinely caring... it matters every time!

And on that note, Chettles is a proven and trusted "marble jar friend" for me, and I'm thankful for the big and small ways he consistently shows up for his family, friends, neighbors, and coworkers.  

Fun fact: These pics are exactly 15 years apart.  Joining the ridiculously early morning Today Show crowd in NYC December 2010, then a random pic with the Thunder-Chet sign his neighbor brought tonight! lol

Final subject change:  While catching up with Paul and Stephanie, I mentioned that I would likely be moving back to Tulsa sometime in the next couple years.  Paul quietly said, "I remember why you moved down there - how is the adoption journey going for you?"  It was really kind, and it caught me off guard.  I cleared my throat and stammered out a slightly awkward but sincere "Thank you for asking" before briefly explaining that my pursuit of embryo adoption had ended after medical issues complicated things.  They truly understand, and we moved on to other topics without much issue, but I was genuinely glad that he asked and showed interest.

So as I sit in my beautifully cozy, quiet home and process this first week of truly fun Christmas parties and good conversations and ramped-up grief emotions and soooo much talk about family and children and new year hopes and dreams, all of the above feels like a very solid reminder for me to keep my heart anchored in Kingdom hope.  We have a heart designed for the unending family-style connections and redemptive joy and lasting purpose that will. be. ours. forever. in the Kingdom of Heaven, and all the lovely things we experience here will always be partial and incomplete by comparison.  So make the most of all the joy you are given here, but let your heart find rest in the firm and secure Kingdom hope we have through Christ!  The best is yet to come, truly.

 

In the meantime, remember that your presence matters - disengagement is a form of betrayal - show up for the people you care about, for the people who have been there for you!

Okay, friends!  I'll keep it lighter and post fun party pics tomorrow!!

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Renewal

I may do something totally unexpected and actually take a day off from blogging tomorrow. lol

Drumroll, please... my word for 2026:

RENEWAL:

1)   An instance of resuming an activity or state after an interruption.

2)  The act of extending the validity of a license, subscription, or contract.

3)  The replacing or repair of something that is worn out, run-down, or broken.

"Those who hope in the Lord will renew their STRENGTH." ~Isaiah 41:10

"Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your MIND." ~Romans 12:2

"Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast SPIRIT within me." ~Psalm 51:10

I will be praying for and pursuing renewed strength (body, mind, soul, and spirit) through hope in Christ, a renewed mind through God's Word, and a renewed spirit through repentant prayer!!  The concept of renewal goes along with my original "phoenix" rising from the ashes idea, but it's more concrete and Scripture-based.

Resuming an activity after an interruption... extending the validity of a contract... repairing something that is worn out or broken.  Gracious, all of that speaks to me and applies to desires that are resurfacing.  I want to be a trustworthy woman of God who is committed to seeking Him daily and being actively involved in church.  That devoted activity has been disturbed and interrupted long enough, and I plan to resume it with fierce intentionality in 2026!  After assessing their value, I feel committed to continuing my court reporting career and my doctoral studies... extending the validity of those contracts into 2026!  I want to repair /rebuild my physical strength (which has digressed over the past year), and I am praying for God's guidance in repairing or replacing my broken hopes for building a family and/or counseling career (while keeping my heart securely anchored in Kingdom hope).  That's a lot.  But it feels aligned with God's heart for me.

Okay, that's all for now.  Happy Monday, Happy December 1st, and Happy Birthday to Laura Allison!! ❤

Cheers! ;-)

I love you and believe in you, and I believe in your ability to find renewed strength and hope through Christ!

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Let Them

Day 30:  Reflect on this year’s spiritual theme — what word or lesson has shaped your journey?

2025's theme was inspired by my good friend, Mel Robbins. =)

Her bestseller book came out on Christmas Eve 2024, and I quickly listened to every word.  I loved the concept enough to choose it as my theme for 2025...

And I promptly bought the hoodie!

In a year that included applying for and starting the doctorate, several counseling and CR job interviews and career decisions, hard medical news and adoption decisions, gradually shifting family dynamics, and another opportunity to move or stay put... it was really good to be reminded repeatedly that most people will not understand all of my decisions... and that the great, great majority of people will not even care enough to check in or read about them and will not be personally affected by whatever I choose (see my "David, nobody cares" post).  No one else has to live your life, and no other flawed human being FULLY understands your perspective.  Lean on God, and let people misunderstand.

For right now, I have chosen court reporting over counseling, job security over unknown risk factors, pursuing more school over settling without it, honoring others' dignity over forcing what I believe is best for them, letting go of the embryo adoption path and doing my best to trust God with my future family hopes.  Decision-wise, this was undoubtedly the most difficult year of my life (other years have been difficult based on things outside my control; this time, a lot of it was up to me, which was challenging in new ways).  The Let Them theory -- and lots of good talks with Emily, Chet, Mom, Kristin, and other friends and professors -- helped me!!  Our lifegroup study on boundaries has also been well-timed.  A good reminder that sometimes the best course is to give others less access rather than hoping they will become better and more responsible with what you've offered them... this cheesy Christmas song meme made me laugh and think about that!

Thanks for sticking with me through this month of 36 blog posts! lol  Happy last day of November, friends!  I hope and pray that you have a lovely December ahead!

Friendly Reminder:

Let them misunderstand.

Let them be confused.

You're responsible for knowing what's right FOR YOU.

You're responsible for making decisions you can live with.

You're responsible for trusting yourself enough

that someone else's confusion doesn't shake your clarity...

They're seeing your decision through their limits, 

their fears, their life experiences.

It's not your responsibility to make people understand.

Let them.

Let them be confused,

And let me be clear.

Let them question me,

And let me stand firm in a simple answer.

Let them have their opinions,

And let me have my boundaries. 

Let them disagree.

Let me keep going.

Let them not get it.

Let me stop explaining myself.

Let them talk.

Let me live.

~Mel

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Finishing Strong

One more post here tonight, and then one final November Blog Challenge post tomorrow!! ❤

They've posted some of the Route 66 official race photos (all available free, which is sooo appreciated)!  Ironically, they haven't posted any pics of Chet with Evan, Mark, or Daniel yet, and only a couple with Jeff - so hopefully they'll keep adding those in, but I was very happy to see these today.  If someone had to be first, I volunteer as tribute. lol  YAY for Finish Line pics with Chettles!!

This was like two seconds into my relay leg (by Tulsa University).  We posed it up for the photographer stationed there, then as we got closer, Chet was like, "Oh, hey Ben!"   Of course he would know the photographer! lol

This = Chet posing it up and me being fully oblivious to this photographer! lol

JEM and Chet nearing the relay exchange zone (I think).

Moving toward the Finish Line, me taking pics of Daniel and Lisa cheering for Chet!

We ❤ running! lol  False.  But we will smile for photos!!

Done!!

At Friendsgiving (later that night), Kantrell asked about how we all got into running or signing up for races, and I had a very immediate answer of Tara from The Biggest Loser!  Back in 2008-2009, she ran a Half-Marathon on the show, and it inspired me and gave me the courage to sign up at Fitness Together and train for the Route 66 Half that year.  In 2010, at least 7 other DDLG friends ran it and we all got a fun pic together afterwards.  Anyway, not all of what I learned from that show was helpful, but I'm grateful for the positive motivation to try signing up for a race... that's been a fun and productive hobby off and on over the last 16 years!

In other news, the wonderful Wilsons joined me today at the final home game for OSU!  Here's our windblown pic on the walk in - Vivian did not approve!

Even with the cold weather, the shirtless guys were going strong, and the inflatable shark in the midst of them brought me joy! lol

We sat inside and snacked and chatted through the first half, then ventured out for the 3rd quarter and one final round with Garth for this season! =)  Thanks again to Dad for the club tickets!!

Happy Saturday, friends and fam!  It's been a delightful and productive Thanksgiving week, and I very much enjoyed the break from work and school!!  Now I'm gearing up to finish strong for the final two weeks of the CCU research courses and the calendar year 2025 and my season of working at the Cleveland County Courthouse!

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