Not a Coincidence

Day 3:  Describe a small, seemingly ordinary moment in your life that turned out to be a defining scene in your story.

'Twas New Years Eve 2008, and I decided to host a Lifegroup NYE party at 522.  I thought a photo scavenger hunt would be fun, and for reasons unknown (probably me wanting to look impartial), I put Bobbi in charge of delegating the groups.  I mentioned to her that Laura Allison was new and didn't really know anyone but me, and she whispered, "Gotcha, I'll take care of it!"

Then she promptly divided us into 4 or 5 groups, putting Laura in her group and placing me with the random BFFs from Sand Springs that had only come one other time for our Christmas party on 12-17-2008, one Chet Lee Wilson and Sarah Elizabeth Heiskell (now Fulton). ❤

In spite of being directionally challenged and not really wanting to drive strangers all over Tulsa, I didn't really trust either of them to drive my car.  Aww, the irony.  I felt like the odd man out, and all I saw when I looked at their friendship was what me and Josh once had, so I was doubly irritated as we all left the house together. lol

Of course, I ended up having fun with them that night - it's pretty hard to avoid that when you're with two classic ENFPs.  Chettles became one of my favorite Diving Deeper Lifegroup friends soon afterward - (by July, my family was changing our summer vacation timeline so I could be back for his 21st birthday), and Sarah and I made a deep connection over FB messages before building a strong real-life friendship.  Now 17 years later, it's pretty clear to me that God knew what He was doing all along! ;-)

Relationships matter deeply to me, and I'm grateful for these long-term friendships.  And for our gun-play photo shoot that still brings me joy! lol  Honestly, there are loads of little moments where I can look back and see God's providence and plan at work in my life, but this one stands out right now.

Seventh post in four days - kudos to anyone keeping up with all this! lol

❤ ❤ ❤

Gender Reveal!

The wonderful Wilson family will soon be a party of five, plus one in Heaven!
...I'm realizing even as I write this that the above sentence now holds true for three of my favorite families on earth, which makes me feel even more grateful for the ironclad reality of Heaven.  For those who choose Christ, our "firm and secure hope" lies in knowing that everything that is broken, partial, and incomplete here will be healed, whole, and complete there.  Seriously, what a gift!

Anyway, tonight was the Baby Wilson GENDER REVEAL Party!!  How cute is this cookiecake by Karli Marie!?

...I don't like incomplete story loops, so for the record, I found out Karli was pregnant back on August 9th when she was too sick to join us for this hangout at H-Tea-O and Woodland Hills!  They found out the week they finished their foster parenting classes and got their home study approval with DHS, so that timing was entertaining and ironic!  Karli has dealt with more fatigue and morning sickness this time around - it's finally beginning to lift a little.  Chettles is training for a marathon and was pretty sore and exhausted after running 20 miles this morning.   Right now, they are serving as respite foster care support, which means low-sleep weekends caring for a newborn as they prepare for their own baby due late March or early April AND continue to parent their children well and serve regularly at their church and help out at the kids' schools and process grief and hold onto hope and train for a marathon and attend/lead weekly Bible studies and support their family and friends well and handle ongoing work and life responsibilities and plan and host multiple big events!   They are truly exceptional and deeply-loved and valued people, so please join me in praying for extra grace, good health, and renewed strength for all of them in this demanding season!!

From learning Karli was pregnant during the summer 2017 Mercantile trip to now, today is the first time anyone has known the gender before the birth of their children.  Chet and Karli did not find out early with Tate or Parker, and the wait was rough on me and Melissa and Teresa. lol  Chet loves a good surprise as much as I love being the first to know something.  I very kindly offered to go pick up the cake today, and he said, "Girl, I don't trust you (not to look)."  I will say he was not wrong, but I wouldn't have ruined it for anyone else. lol  All that to say, I'm very thrilled that they decided to find out ahead of time with this baby!  They've had the envelope containing the gender from their doctor since our Los Cabos hangout on September 27th, but Bill and Melissa were on a cruise through most of October, and Chet and Karli were in no big rush about planning this event, in spite of Melissa and I thoughtfully offering multiple date options for them. lol

Today was FINALLY the big day.  And when I realized that they were mourning a miscarriage two years ago, this really felt like God's perfect timing to give them something joyful and redemptive to counterbalance that painful grief anniversary!! ❤  With my own circumstances, my heart feels every bit of this more this year, but there is so much joy to be found in life, and I would sincerely rather my emotions be heightened than numb.

Before they cut the cake, we all went around the circle with every person guessing/voting the gender they expected.  A classic Chettles move...

Predictably, Tate wanted a boy and Parker wanted a girl, and the other kids at the party mostly voted for their own gender.  Chet was hoping for a girl, but they had convinced themselves it was likely to be a boy.  Sarah and Melissa both guessed boy, as well.  I said girl, just as I did when we all voted on the chalkboard at the Farmhouse back in 2017.  I was obviously wrong back then, but I got it right this time!  They used two knives to cut this cake together, revealing the pink icing for a beautiful baby sister for Tate and Parker!! ❤

The cake was a Laurannae bride's cake, so yay for that!  (It wasn't quite as good as their cupcakes I have loved, but still highly preferable to earl grey and lavender.  lol)  They told Chet this size would serve 8 people, which was quite the understatement!  Also, since Chet vetoed me grabbing the cake for them, I came over around 4:30 to help Karli decorate, and my job was tying the pink, blue, and silver streamers for the backdrop behind them here, so I just felt compelled to point out my hard work there!  ;-)

Gracious, I love this group, and love this group pic taken with Kristin Renee's phone!!  Note to self: Find out what type of phone she has and get it next time I upgrade... look how crisp and clear the photo quality is here - umm, yes, please!

We had Chick-fil-A nuggets and wraps + CFA tea + Honest juice boxes for the kids + fries + salad and fruit salad, along with cake and cookiecake - thanks, Wilson fam!!  Top middle pic = the actual envelope from their doctor.  Top right is Evan and Jon moving a recliner downstairs.  Bottom row = a cake closeup and Chet and Karli hanging the banner!

The Wilsons are the most fun!!  They have permanent LED lights outside where they can use an app to change the color for different holidays/events.  They set it to blue and pink before this party, then changed them to all pink after cutting the cake - FUN!!

Speaking of quick changes, I went from Halloween fun to Christmas queen in less than 24 hours! #bringonChristmas  (Right pic = me texting Rach to ask which headband to wear with my new sweatshirt, which felt like a perfect choice to ring in November. lol)

We stayed and chatted longer than I'd expected, which means I'm up late and back-dating these three blogs now! lol  This = one final pic with the Wilsons and Fultons as we were leaving!

I was already feeling this. lol  Not loving how early it will get dark now, but this meme made me laugh! =)

Okaaaay, I had a lot to say today, but I can promise you I won't write three posts a day moving forward. lol  

Hold on to hope and joy today, friends!  The God of all hope and comfort is with you and for you, working everything out for your good and for His glory.  Heaven is real, redemption is real, and the best things we experience here on earth are just a sneak preview of all the wonderful things God has in store for us when we get there!

I love you and believe in you, and Jesus does too!
Enjoy the extra hour of sleep!!
See you tomorrow!

❤ ❤ ❤

Embrace the Partial

I think about this song often.

In a slightly comical way with my mindset toward food.

In a less comical way about my own marriage potential.

And lately, just quietly wondering about what will truly bring me fulfillment in life...

I'm reminded of this verse, which I've loved for a very long time:

"Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity.  All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely."
~1 Corinthians 13:12

I LOVE the reminder that God sees me and loves me and knows me completely, especially since I feel genuine confused about what I want and what's best for me half the time. lol  I also love the reminder that earthly life feels "partial and incomplete" for EVERYONE - I'm not alone or unique in that inner void, and there is not some vital thing I can do or attain that will truly and finally "fix it."  The nature of sin is ever-increasing, so anything we turn to in idolatry or addiction patterns will never ever be "enough."  Marriage will never be enough to complete us.  Motherhood will never be enough to fulfill us.  A fantastic job will not be enough.  Great health, strength, beauty, degrees, vacations, money, security, political power - all fleeting and never enough to last and completely fulfill us.  Even our experience of God's presence, close friendships, and church community will never be enough here.  "ALLLLLL THAT I KNOW NOW is partial and incomplete."  All of it.  John Eldredge has helped me to view those things -- the best things I experience here -- as a glimpse or a preview of what life will be like in Heaven.  That perspective helps me so much right now.

"The temptation when you're in it with disappointment, loss, and unrealized dreams is to shut part of your heart down and pack it away.  We give up on relationship because it is partial.  We give up on friendship because it is partial.  We give up on work or on our calling because it is partial."  ~John Eldredge

Nothing less can satisfy us.

I have been working so hard to pursue big dreams over the past 3-4 years, and in the deepest part of me, I feel a growing disappointment and disenchantment with all of it this year.  And what I've really needed was the above reminder that it is all intended to be partial, even at its best.  Single motherhood would never have been perfect.  Married motherhood isn't either.  Even in the best and most God-honoring marriages.  Weight loss doesn't make life or health perfect.  Court reporting will always fall a bit short of being fulfilling for me.  Counseling work will usually fall short of the genuine connections and pay range I desire.  I can choose what I want to prioritize moving forward, but I would do well to remember that every human being alive is dealing with something that makes their life imperfect, partial, and incomplete.  And that's okay and normal and expected - that's the part I really need to hold on to!!

I fully believe that action is better than being stagnant, and we can (and should) experience a lot of love and gratitude and joy and wonder here!  However, there is no meaningful goal -- not one -- that will make our lives feel whole and complete.  And that's oddly comforting to me in this pivotal moment, because it takes the intense pressure off of me.  It means I am not failing at life, and God is not failing me.  I'm feeling the deep ache of wanting what is only available for me in Heaven, the sting of "the partial."  And I'm reminding myself to re-anchor my soul in the hope of knowing Jesus and spending eternity with Him, not in any earthly hope that I can muster up and push for here.

I appreciate this chart, but believing we can find lasting "bliss" if we only find the perfect job role for ourselves is false hope.  We should make the effort to find work we enjoy and live lives that matter and help others, but nothing will always be perfect.  The hero's journey does not end in bliss, but in setting new goals and keeping a right perspective.  Life is messy, and perfection will not arrive for any of us unless or until we meet Jesus face to face, which is a big relief to my perfectionistic mind and longing heart.  It's not on me.  Perfect relational connections, perfect health and beauty, and fulfilling work are all coming later.  For now, we can "embrace the partial" and make the most of the time, energy, and wonderful people God gives us to love here!!

❤ ❤ ❤

Shifting gears, please be praying for my Aunt Marilyn, who had a stroke last Tuesday.  Her speech and facial movement are improving, and she is being moved to a rehab facility today.  This = the Texas Muecke fam last Thanksgiving, with Marilyn and Gus on the right!

She's next to me after our Red Robin lunch here:

And keep my Aunt JoBug (LaJo) in your prayers also - she had a bacterial infection/virus that caused some A-Fib issues and resulted in her heart being shocked back into the sinus rhythm last Friday.

Things that feel very true right now:

Life is fragile, and sometimes it's really scary and hard.

People are resilient, and love is healing.

Everything we know and experience here is partial and incomplete.

There are far better things ahead than any we leave behind!!

My PeiWei fortune cookie promise... I have lots of dreams and a lot to look forward to, but it all feels a bit vague and distant right now.  I'm in a mild grief and transition season, so that's okay.  There are better things ahead, here on earth and in Heaven!

"So prepare your minds for action and exercise self-control. Put all your hope in the gracious salvation that will come to you when Jesus Christ is revealed to the world."  ~1 Peter 1:13

I love you and believe in you,

and I pray that this Kingdom hope reminder was helpful today!

❤ ❤ ❤

Thankful Thursday #233

"Let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts,

for as members of one body,

you are called to live in PEACE.

And always be THANKFUL."

~Colossians 3:15

Today, I am thankful for...

1.  All the memes and reels that make me laugh, this meme and Rob Anderson's critique of Old Yeller being at the top of my list this week! lol

 I laughed way too hard about that!!  (For the record, must be legally single, within 1-8 years of my age, love Jesus, not have a hot temper, and not enjoy horror films.  That's literally my list, but you would think it was miles long for how difficult it is to find a match.  A potential matchmaking service quickly reminded me that there are loads of genuinely great guys who aren't Christians. I understand that, and to all of them, I say no thank you.)

2.  Kim (Rachel's mom) celebrating being cancer free and done with chemo!

3.  Mom's joy in CHA's Junior High football season... she loves the sport and so loves the playfulness and wannabe-toughness of boys this age! lol  (This = her with Jaceman, then her with TJ and Axel).

4.  However clueless I am about it, it's been fun getting to cheer for Jace with the fam!  This = a couple pics with Rach at his last game!

5.  Zana Lynn, a CHA friend from yesteryear, has started her own business called Mindful Resolutions, LLC, helping at-risk youth learn to regulate their emotions and find a compromise.  It's been a while since we've talked, but I'm proud of her and really happy to see her success here (and thankful for how it inspires me about what might be possible if I do my own thing with coaching)!

6.  As of two days ago, the new Chicken Salad Chick is open in Norman... fun!

7.  Hanging out with Miss Kyndal Faith, whom I adore!  She and her friends are at a great age, and it's been fun talking to them at J's football games!

❤ ❤ ❤