Thankful Thursday #232!

"Rejoice always, pray continually;

give thanks in all circumstances,
for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."
~1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Today, I am thankful for...

1.  Teresa, whose birthday is today!! ❤  I'm grateful for her friendship and support and kindness through the years... and of course, I'm thankful for the key role she played in raising the best person I know!

2. That my niece and youngest nephew are having a fun Fall Break... Rach took them TPing Tuesday night, and seeing this pic brings back lots of fun memories!!

3.  Happy, colorful fresh flowers!  On the latest Eldredge podcast, they talked about how the beauty we find in our favorite parts of God's creation has a powerful healing impact on our souls, and I've been thinking about that and looking for it more since.  For me in this season, it's the details of colorful flowers and the calming effect of being near water (ponds, lakes, oceans, even pools).

4.  This reminder not to take the present gifts and joys for granted.

5.  A last-minute lunch plan with Mom yesterday... good talk, good food, and good for me! ❤

6.  Long story, and I can't go into all the details here, but I'm grateful for what God has taught me through my first and last paying client at ITS!  I was questioning the value of counseling and feeling like access to money made more of a tangible difference in people's lives than any counseling skill or intervention ever could, then something happened that flipped that script and reminded me that strong relationships and self-respect are worth more than anything money can buy.  It's been a journey the past couple months, but I needed that reminder!  Starting to feel more like myself again, and I'm grateful.

7.  At Jace's football game, a kind mom came over to talk to Rach for a bit, and she was wearing a cute t-shirt that said, "Motherhood is Kingdom Work."  True, and I felt myself quickly tear up as I read it - reminding me that I'm not quite okay just yet - then I looked away and pulled myself back together.  Yesterday was Infant Loss Awareness day, and there were several posts and podcasts that were helpful to me in this ambiguous grief.  Anyway, in talking to Chet about that moment at Jace's game, without being dismissive of my emotions, he reminded me that a lot of other things I'm already doing or stepping toward qualify as valuable "Kingdom work."  And again, I needed that reminder in this season!  So I'm grateful for God-given reminders of better things ahead, for the gradual healing process I can feel, and for what is hopefully the first of many publishing contracts I got to sign this week!! ;-)  (I was surprised to learn they're actually paying me to co-author a chapter of a counseling textbook with a CCU professor, and I laughed when they assumed I was also a professor - I'll take it.)

❤ ❤ ❤

Coffee and Counsel

Happy Sunday, friends and fam!  I just finished up this week's homework - phew! - and I'm headed to meet Mom and Kristin for an early Christmas decorating extravaganza after I finish this post!  Feliz Navidad!! ;-)

Judge took Friday off, so I did too. =)  I met Kristin Renee for breakfast at Little J's in Tulsa before my hair appointment.  It was wonderful to see her and catch up on life over quiche and coffee and hot chocolate... and I was very grateful to get her wise counsel and perspective on my adoption decision.  She has been through a similar journey and reminded me that our faith is never wasted, that God often works in unexpected ways, and that it's important to pay attention to the areas in your life where you feel His blessing and grace and anointing!

We didn't get a pic together that morning, so here's a throwback to Chet's summer block party!  Yay, K-Foster!!

After that, Vivian and I had a hair appointment with Janelle! =)

Then I immediately messed it up while taking a delightful walk/jog down memory lane at "Crescent Park Ridge Roll" before grabbing pizza and Cookie Mama cookies and heading to see the wonderful Wilson fam!

They are providing respite foster care for a newborn this weekend.  As per always, it was good and healthy and healing for me to see them and be around their family.  I laughed that Chettles ordered the fried pickles + Hideaway ranch + Paradise Pie pizza, just like Kristin Michelle (she might skip the cauliflower crust, but I'll admit it was better than I'd expected)!

Total preshface who was excited to help out with the baby! ❤

Gracious, I'm grateful for friends who are easy and safe and gentle with me.  For secure friends who live with a growth mindset and help me in both of those areas.

I'm grateful for this good long weekend with friends and family, as tomorrow is also a holiday!  And I'm grateful for outdoor walks and seeing this sidewalk chalk message last night:

Happy Belated Bday to Frankie on Friday!  They went to Shoguns, and their server's expression for the top right pic makes me very happy! lol

And in sad news, RIP Diane Keaton, who passed away at age 79 yesterday.  I freaking loved her in Father of the Bride 1 and 2, Something's Gotta Give, Mad Money, The Family Stone, etc.  She's funny and quirky and a gem of a beautiful and successful single woman who lived with heart and joy!!

That's all for now.  I'm feeling better, and I'm making the blog public again because I'm clearly not taking a real break from writing - it helps me process everything!  So welcome back! lol  I love you and believe in you, and I believe in your ability to create a life you love!

❤ ❤ ❤

Living Proof

I was very grateful to attend the Living Proof Live event with Beth Moore and her team this weekend!  I bought the ticket months ago and was going on my own, then I ran into Kantrell just after getting out of my car, so I sat with her and Amber both days.  This = our pic on Saturday morning... living proof that God redeems! ❤

Worship with Travis Cottrell is always good... this whole conference makes me want to join them for the Alaska cruise next summer!!  

We sat in the very back row on Friday night!

Beth introducing her 16-year-old granddaughter, Anna Beth.  I for sure remember being in a Bible study of hers when Amanda was pregnant with this girl, so it made me happy to see her there!

*Friday was the two-year anniversary of Babah's funeral, where I wrote the obituary and led the prayer and eulogy at her graveside and memorial service.  Looking back, I feel grateful for that opportunity and proud that I stepped up for it.

Ran into Laura and Angie, friends from Kelly's Diving Deeper Women's Lifegroup of yesteryear!!  Good to catch up with them while we snacked on SkinnyPop Popcorn during our 30-minute break on Saturday morning!

Beth is the best!  (She had a surgery that made it difficult for her to kneel and get back up on stage, so a friend of hers built this bench so that she could continue her tradition of kneeling in prayer at the beginning of every event!)

Beth taught on Ecclesiastes... not what I would have expected, but of course, it was good!  I was laughing because I really wanted a very clear "Let go" or "Hold on" theme, and instead I got the vague, "There is a time to keep and a time to cast away" passage, along with several peppy reminders from the teacher in Ecclesiastes that much of what happens under the sun is meaningless, senseless, futile, vain, absurd, and out of our control.  Beth said this book gives us "a soulmate in our anguished doubt."  That and her encouragement to keep an "above the sun perspective" were honestly well-timed.  Ironically, I was at the Beth Moore live event in Tulsa on this very same weekend in 2013 (yay FB memories)... I have loved her books and Bible studies for 20+ years, and I am deeply grateful for Beth's influence in my life and my walk with Christ!!

I stayed at the Southern Hills Marriott on Friday night, which was a solid call.  The Friday night session ended at 9:30, then Saturday, we started back at 8am.  After we dismissed at noon, I met Tiffany Joanne and Laura Allison for lunch at McAlister's!  We celebrated Tiffany's life and the one-year anniversary of the life-saving surgery (removing blood clots from her lungs), and we talked and caught up on life and work for over three hours.  It was good to connect with them!!

From there, I headed to Melissa's to watch the second half of the OSU-Baylor game with Melissa and Karli and the kids whilst Chettles finished showing some nearby Executive Homes!  Parker Elizabeth was in a fun and cuddly mood that day, which was a delight to my soul. =)

This = her being proud of her kid's menu artwork! lol #preshface

We had dinner at Los Cabos, always a favorite for me!  We were able to get in without a wait if we sat on the covered patio, which was lovely other than the band being incredibly close and loud.  They took a break through the main part of our meal, so we were able to talk without yelling during that time. lol  Tate was very into his book, and Parker was watching the band pretty closely.

Just a little light reading under the waterfall! lol  I like that this is not a posed candid - he was just genuinely into the book on that level. =)

For those close enough to pay attention to this saga, I'm grateful that you care.  After LOTS of prayer and back-and-forth inner wrestling and hard conversations and personal journaling and seeking clarity, I have decided to close the chapter on the embryo adoption journey.  I'm not closing my heart to motherhood, but not putting myself through any more physical, mental, and emotional hurdles on this particular route.  I am tired of life feeling "on pause," so finally making a decision and being able to move forward accordingly is a relief at this point, but there is grief that comes with it too.

For now, I'm going to process this privately, but we all know I'm likely to write more about it down the road.  Truly, thank you for your support and understanding, both now and through the past several years as I took serious steps to pursue this goal, which became a catalyst for so many other positive life changes!  This is a hard part of my story, but not in the way I imagined.  God's grace is very present and sufficient.  I believe He is with me and for me, and I trust that He has good and hopeful things planned for my future even now... prayers for peace are appreciated as I heal and seek to honor God with my life moving forward!

The same holds true for you.

God is faithful, and His mercy is new today - lean into that!

❤ ❤ ❤

Thankful Thursday #230

"Don’t you see how wonderfully kind, tolerant, and patient God is with you? Does this mean nothing to you? Can’t you see that His kindness is intended to turn you from your sin?" ~Romans 2:4

Today, I am thankful for...

1. Dr. Burkhart's encouragement, and his willingness to meet with me regularly, and him preparing and bringing several great book recommendations... all of which I fully intend to read, so yay!!

2.  Walk-breaks at work... I'm grateful to be at a job where that is allowed and modeled, and in a cooler fall season where it's becoming more enjoyable again!

3.  Good connections with clients lately... seeing them grow feels exciting, and I love being in a role that strengthens and encourages that!  Krystal had me lead our supervision group this week to practice Written Exposure Therapy, which I'm excited to try with clients moving forward!

4.  The arrival of September and cooler weather and a school break week all = lovely de-stressors for me! 

5.  This reminder.  I haven't been in the best headspace over the past month, but I prayed through a lot of shame last night.  Even as a "trained therapist" who is supposed to know all the best tools for this kind of stuff, I need God's help soooo continually with renewing my mindset and the way I see myself!  ...Fortunately, He is willing and ready to help us whenever we call on Him. ❤

6.  This #cakefail memory from Rachel's 30th birthday, which is honestly even funnier to me now that I understand what we were actually missing.  Perhaps God was behind the earl-grey-cake-with-lavender-icing mishap, because I wasn't about to try the Laurannae bakery based on that, and it's probably for the best that I didn't know about their exceptional brides cake when I lived closer to it! lol

7.  One year ago, I was seeking healing in therapy after a major shift I did not see coming.  That was a turning point where I held on to my own strength in a new way, recognizing bad patterns, carefully approaching important conversations, praying for wisdom and clarity, and allowing a relationship to be broken/remixed without it breaking me (not internalizing negative messages or personalizing the loss).  So today, I am grateful for personal growth, for all the "keep going" memes, and for T-Swift's reminder that we can "come back stronger than a '90s trend!" ;-)

Bonus:  I am thankful for The Gilded Age, which I'm currently binge-watching during this short school break!  Loving the Russell fam... "Defeat is not your color."  So good, and pretty perfect timing to get me even more excited about visiting NYC next weekend!! 

❤ ❤ ❤

NEW NEWS!!

Happy T-Swift Engagement Day!! ❤

I was so happy to open Instagram and see this during my lunch hour!

Hooray for Travis Michael Kelce and Taylor Alison Swift!!
87 + 13 = 100 ❤

I texted several people, including my Supervisor, who I learned was a Swiftie because she'd set a timer and stopped our group meeting last Monday to check Taylor's website and see what the countdown was leading to. lol

Jason is a funny one!  I finally listened to their whole podcast last week and thoroughly enjoyed it - (hence this post title - that's a regular segment on the New Heights podcast)!  I'm glad the whole Kelce fam seems to love and celebrate her!  (Also, please note the 777 comments at the time of my screenshot - random but fun!)

Sometimes I look at other Swifties and think I'm not really that big a fan, but then I spend 9 hours in theaters watching the Eras movie the week it comes out. lol  I really didn't love TTPD era, but they said her new album is "much more upbeat" aligned with her current season of life, so I expect to enjoy that, and I will gladly spend my lunch hour celebrating her exciting personal news! lol  So yeah, still in the #Swiftie club, and I'm ridiculously happy for them. ❤

Tiffany was on the list of Swifties I had to celebrate with! lol

I'm quickly reminded online that there will always be unhappy people who feel the need to reduce, minimize, and belittle people who are thriving. #villainmode #letthem  I hope their bitterness does minimal damage and that they eventually make better choices, and I hope to rise above that attitude in my own life and in my reactions to the good fortune of others. #celebrategoodnesseverywhere #personalcommandment5  I like that they are both fun-loving, kindhearted, well-rounded, highly successful people who are secure and okay with or without each other, but happier together!  She said Travis is a whole vibe, like a human exclamation point or "enhance color" button.  I love that!

GACC jumping in on the marketing train. lol

In other news, this perfectly sums up something I have struggled to articulate.  The need to teach my mind that growth is safe - that it's okay to struggle as you're learning new things, that it's good and right to push yourself and keep moving forward!  I'm working on that. ❤

This morning also included my second one-on-one Zoom meeting with Dr. Burkhart.  It went well, and I so deeply appreciate and value his insight!  I've wanted more of an ongoing mentor-style relationship there, and today, he sent me a reusable calendar link to set up future meetings whenever he has available time.  I promised not to overuse it, and he responded saying, "I truly enjoy investing in the people I see great potential in." which totally made my day, even before hearing T-Swift's big news!! =)

(MAC Res 3, July 2024)

Happy 9th Anniversary to Steve and Sarah today!

I'm catching up on things at work, and tonight is family dinner.

All in all, it's been a peaceful and joyful 8-26, a former grief anniversary that feels redemptive now.

❤ ❤ ❤

Carousel of Progress

After Ashley's book signing event, I grabbed a cupcake-lunch at Laurannae (YUM!), then met Chettles and the kids for H-Tea-O and Woodland Hills mall... Karli Marie wasn't feeling well, so he took the kids so she could enjoy some peace and quiet as she recovers.  It was happy hour at H-Tea-O, something I didn't know about, but it definitely draws a crowd!!  The free samples are a treat... and Chet paid for mine, so the free tea was a treat, as well!  The seasonal cherry and the Texas chai were both better than I'd expected, but my fav sweet blueberry green tea was the winner, as always! 

We walked over the the mall, entering through the new Scheels - yay for a Tulsa-themed photo op!!  On our way out, the kids wanted pics with the statues, so I was happy to oblige! =)

They have a pretty cool mini-aquarium or massive fish tank at the entrance.  We stood there for a while as Tate and Parker watched "Nemo and Dory!"  Chet FaceTimed Jace (who was excited to chat and see all the fish)... then Jace told Mom later that Chet and I had called him from Dallas (bc that's the only Scheels he knows of). lol

Whilst Chet and Tate went to the bathroom, I got to shop with Parker Elizabeth, which was an entertaining treat.  Every dress was her favorite, and she would hold them up to herself and say "Oooh, it fits me!!" lol  This "favorite" white dress that she loved was a bit big, but she'll grow into it!  The way she carried it (for the very short time she wanted to hold it) made me laugh.  Garment bags for the win!

We rode the mall carousel and I got dizzy very quickly!  Still fun, though!

I told Chet her odds are looking good for being my most-photographed person once again this year. lol #somuchcuteness

Anyway, fun afternoon with the mini-BFFs and Chettles... then a delish Los Cabos to-go dinner + going to see Freakier Friday when I got back to Moore - all in all, a pretty perfect "rest day" from life's responsibilities! =)

Truth... still deciding where I want to be moving forward, but I am grateful that I have the power to choose that and don't feel "stuck" anywhere.

Some Shutterfly gems from this week 17 years ago (summer 2008)!  Movie with Jennifer Diane, Morgan Elizabeth, Sarah Bliss, MiMi's Cafe with Malori Riah, Haley and the Switch Youth girls, Melting Pot with Megan from lifegroup, and helping JB at Deer Creek!  Okay, to sum up my deeper thoughts on this: I'm grateful that all of these pics hold equal weight for me in this moment; I no longer feel pain, longing, or loss when I see photos with Malori.  Thanks to the '7 years and 12 days' revelation from God, the soul tie that was gripping for me is finally gone.  The difference I am talking about is internal and intangible, but I am deeply aware of it - the power this once had over me is gone, and that's not a small thing.  Outside of JoBug, all of these were seasonal friendships, and I'm grateful for the memories and what I learned from each of them.  And I'm thankful for God's ability to heal and change us over time!! ❤

We find what we look for. ❤

Calming Song of the Week = Be Still and Know by CeCe Winans

Okay, now I'm off to bed early to try to make up for going to bed very late last night!  Yay for the accompanying sounds of the storm outside.  Now I'll be focusing on homework and will see you back here next week.  I love you and believe in you, and I am confident that God can heal the deepest wounds in your soul as you keep seeking Him!

❤ ❤ ❤