Seen and Valued

Yesterday was CHA's first day back at school!  Triston's first day as a Senior, Jace's first day of Junior High, and Kyndal's first day of 6th grade... that's a pivotal school year for all of them, honestly!!

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Praying God blesses them with good friendships, stronger faith, and a growth mindset through the year ahead!

I'm covering the phones at our office -- it's been a pretty good, quiet day.  Yesterday was more of a restful break than Tuesday, and I'm very grateful for that!  I am feeling a bit more confident and seeing real progress with several of my clients lately, and I'm super grateful for that, as well!!

This is from the FB welcome post by ITS... yay!

So last night, I watched a 3-part Netflix documentary about The Biggest Loser... so interesting!  Lots of memories and thoughts and personal/emotional ties to their stories.  Danny (the Season 8 winner who was born in Midwest City then moved to the Tulsa area and trained with my same Fitness Together trainers in 2009) - he talked about his rapid weight loss, weight regain, lessons learned, and future hopes.

I think the thing that struck me most was something I'd already been thinking about, thanks to the Mel Robbins podcast with Jim Doty.  They talked about the things we desire in childhood (to be thin and beautiful, to be rich, to be famous, to be a wife/mom, to be a teacher, to be a pro athlete or star, etc.) -- and how those desires stem from feeling invisible/unseen/unloved in certain areas, and believing based on our life experience that the people who have those things ($$, success, beauty, thinness, children, etc.) are SEEN and LOVED.  The God-given desire to feel connected and have people care about us - it was profound and just deeply true.

A repeated theme in this documentary was that overweight people felt invisible and saw weight loss as the best path to being seen and valued.  So they were willing to make enormous sacrifices and sometimes compromises to get there.  Check, that resonates.  (For me and millions of others.)

I don't have a way to tie that all up neatly right now, but it's very worth thinking about and examining your own desires and where you have felt unseen in life.  And praying sincerely for God to fill the things we might be seeking in the wrong places and/or through the wrong avenues.

Anyway, here's a reminder I needed this morning.

That's all I've got for now.

I love you and believe in you,

and I hope you feel seen and valued riiiiight where you are today!

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Kudos and Clarity

A fun but cold summer swim with Jace and Kyndal last night - she's surfing on his back, in case that wasn't obvious! ;-)  The pool heater is messed up, so it took me forever to fully get in. lol  (Mom and Jace were working at Neal's apartment all afternoon, so we grabbed Firehouse Subs for our family dinner, then I joined J&K for a swim after a good chat with Dad and Rachael!)  

Kyndal "turning into a smurf" from the OKC-Thunder-blue icing on the cupcakes Dad got us! lol

Truth... communication is key!

Kudos to Carter Lee, who is doing well in all his rodeo endeavors lately!

Kudos to Mark Anthony and Chet Lee, who rode 68.8 miles last weekend in the Tulsa Tough bike race!!  Very impressive!  Chettles prayed hard for rain and lightning to cancel the race, but God gave him super-fun memories with his good friend instead! lol  For real, though, I'm getting sad that the Shoemaker fam will be moving soon!

Some bike gifs from one of my fav SC episodes. =)

Kudos to Lindsay Jane, who is living it up on an amazing trip to Monte-Carlo!!  Also, her fitness dedication is inspiring, and I applaud her for all the effort she's put into it!

Kudos to Lindsay Ferrier for leaving an abusive marriage and sharing her story (HERE).  She's a great writer, and I've learned a lot from her courage over the past year!

This feels true.

And kudos to me for doing well on my June/July goals so far!  I'm loving reading one chapter in a physical Bible every day - I've done so much listening lately that it's nice to connect with reading the real words on a page!  Daily vegetables - a natural given for so many people, but setting that goal has legitimately changed my meal choices several times to make sure I'm working in some vegetables, like making a small salad every time I went through the CCU food court!  And a daily 5k walk or run - I missed 3 days during the very rainy beginning of my Colorado trip, but I'm going to make up those 9 miles over the rest of the month.  The pic below was from June 1st.  Looking forward to walking and catching up with Kristin tonight!!)

There's a lot happening lately, but I'm excited that there is a real timeline in place that will naturally answer some of my questions and narrow my options moving forward.  I so welcome that coming clarity!  As of last week, I have officially started the PhD program.  And as of yesterday, I am awaiting clinic approval on my third (and final) embryo adoption match!  I'm in a good position, and I've done my part on all counts.  So I am praying for God's will and trusting Him to move things forward in the best direction for my future and for His glory!! ❤  Also working on finding a good LPC-Supervisor to get started on my candidacy hours and track my school time as indirect hours, but that feels like a side project at this point!

Also doing my best to stay healthy and make good choices in the meantime.

Seeing movies with other counselors is a treat... so far, it's been Inside Out 2 last summer and Thunderbolts last week, both of which included clear illustrations of mental health struggles and led to great conversations afterward!

That's all for today.  Even with all that's going on, I'm about to leave work a little early after a full day of blogging. lol  Huzzah!

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The One Year Mark

 Just taking a minute to acknowledge this anniversary...
I had gastric sleeve surgery one year ago today!!

Mom and I went to Vegas, and we took it as a God-sign that I was patient #7 on June 7th.  This was my last pre-surgery pic.

This = the hotel hallway that I walked repeatedly that night... to be honest, I never had much pain.  I know that isn't everyone's experience in recovery, but I'm very grateful to God for the laparoscopic procedure and the smoothness of my physical recovery process!

Dr. Matt Apel, my surgeon at Blossom Bariatrics in Vegas
(This pic = the IV vitamins infusion the morning after my surgery!)

And after that, Mom and I stopped by Mon Ami and the Vegas fountains, because I absolutely refuse to go to Vegas without seeing the fountains! lol. I'm aware of the gauze and tape from my surgery in this photo, but overall, it's crazy that I was already feeling good enough to walk through Vegas that next day! ❤

Jace and Kyndal and all the kids their age have taken to saying "six-seven" when they're feeling undecided or meh about something.  But I'm glad 6-7 has a very different meaning for me.  

Thank you again to Chet Lee for sparking this idea for me -- or really, for helping me feel like I had permission to follow through with it without being judged or condemned by the people closest to me!  Our conversation last May opened the door for me to research the surgery, which quickly led to calling Blossom, and around three weeks later, the surgery was done!!  I love that Blossom was able to get me in so quickly -- I might've talked myself out of it otherwise -- God was in all the details (just as He is today), and I'm incredibly grateful as I look back (and look ahead) today!

In some ways, it doesn't feel that long ago, and in other ways, I know God has done so much in my life since that time! ❤  It's been a transformative, beauty-for-ashes kind of year -- body, mind, soul, and spirit!

I'm down around 90 pounds from my pre-surgery weight... I kinda like that I'm unable to weigh in this morning because I'm busy starting this PhD program! 
(These pics were the day before starting the pre-op diet.)

I will continue to lose a bit of weight and do my best to make healthier choices.  I am a work in progress there, but seeing real physical progress has given me renewed hope and motivation as life moves forward!  For today, though, I want to celebrate the progress I've made - finishing the Masters degree, finishing a Full Marathon, starting the PhD program, growing in my identity, restarting the embryo adoption process, a year of therapy work with Emily, and being back in the 100s is just the icing on the cake!

Strong and healthy mind.

Strong and healthy body.

Strong and healthy soul.

Strong and healthy spirit!
One year down, the rest of my life to go...

Whatever I have done is by the grace of God, and I want to continue to live through His grace and for His glory!! ❤

Okay, back to studious grad student work now! =)

I love you and believe in you, and I believe God will meet you wherever you are today, and I believe in your ability to work with Him and create a better life!

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Life Lately...

Okay, lighter post this time! =)

Kristin and the boys joined me for lunch at McAlister's on Thursday!! ❤

Frankie and Diesel were at their Cross Timbers church camp, so it was just her and Wesson and Nash!

They were surprised and happy to see me, so that was fun!!  Nash's missing-teeth smile and joking with his mom to stay out of trouble makes me happy! lol

We ran into Christina Maynes, formerly Tina Barlow, the star volleyball player for the 2000 CHA team! =) She was always kind to me, and it was good to see her!  She played on a scholarship for four years at OU and is now the head VB coach for CCS.  Mom and Rach were ready to switch schools when I told them that. lol

Then Jaceman and I went to see Karate Kid: Legends that night.  We were both equally thrilled with this last-minute cameo! lol  "Miyagi-Dough:  Slice first, slice hard, no anchovies!"

I had a hair appointment on Saturday, after Chipotle lunch with the wonderful Wilson fam!  (Tate and Parker were out back playing when I took this pic, but they ran out to hug me as I was in the process of driving off! lol)

So many cute bunnies in and around their yard... they're apparently eating the lovely flowers Chettles planted, so I don't approve of that, but still love seeing them! lol 

Thanks to my counseling homework project, I signed up for info on Thursday and ended up trying out a new Moore Lifegroup this morning...... imagine my surprise when the leader texted me her address a few houses down ON MY STREET! lol  God is funny sometimes!!  There were only three of us there for this first meeting, but we had a really good talk, and I'm excited about finally knowing one of my neighbors!  We're meeting every other Saturday, starting with the Captivating study then moving on to Lysa TerKeurst, so yay for all of that!  And yay for the pink backsplash and green cabinets in her Taber home! =)

It was Katie's very first time leading/hosting and Devon's first time attending any group.  I've done both more times than I can count, but it's been a while, and it was really nice to connect with them today!

So thankful it's not all up to me - God is guiding my steps and showing me which path to take. 

Adore them - so happy to have them back on a monthly basis now!

New rosy check vase with pink flowers and polka dot bow from Mom - love it! ❤

Happy last day of May, friends and fam!!  Reassessing wellness goals post-Marathon, and my June/July goals are to open a physical Bible and read one chapter a day + include a serving of veggies every day (spinach blended into a protein shake totally counts) + reach 175 by July 31st + complete a 5k (3.1 miles) every day of June and July (can be walking or running, all at once or in 2-3 segments).  

Let's make it a great summer ahead!!

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ONEderland!

Good morning and happy Friday, friends and fam!

There have been loads of important non-scale victories and things to celebrate along the marathon-training journey!  However, after a few months of feeling stuck behind an invisible barrier, finally reaching ONEderland this morning for the first time in 15 years is a scale-victory worth celebrating!! ❤

I made the above collage for the Blossom Support group where everyone posts their numbers.  And at this point, I figured why not share it here too - with appreciation for all of the above versions of myself.  This milestone took longer than I anticipated and required some difficult choices, and I am very grateful to Blossom for helping me get here!  It really does feel like an internal sigh of relief to be back in the ones - I was 25 the last time I was here.

Numbers Game:  In case you're unfamiliar with weight-loss-group lingo, my highest weight ever was 296 in January 2023 (just after my four failed IUIs and finding out Mom's cancer had returned).  My starting weight when I chose surgery last year was 277, and my current weight is 198.  My goal for myself is to reach 177 or below (which was my best weight in 2009, and the 100-pound mark from my surgery decision).  And Dr. Apel's goal for me was 155 - TBD on whether that ever becomes my desired goal, but I doubt it.  I understand that the scale isn't everything and the changing numbers don't define me or change my value, and BMI is not always an accurate indicator of genuine health and wellness.  At present, I am grateful to be in a pretty good place mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.  And I want to continue with body kindness and taking good care of myself, focusing on being healthy and strong over being "thin."

ONEderland at 41 on 4-11! ❤
Random number stuff like this brings me joy. lol

Text I sent Kristin yesterday - I knew I was close and thought it might happen then, but no such luck. lol

I had great initial weight loss, then I hit an intense plateau around 205 where this has felt just out of my reach for a while.  I'm grateful that I've avoided extremes, and I'm grateful things are finally shifting again.  The physical progress is exciting, but more importantly, the sense of mental breakthrough that comes with crossing this painfully-stubborn milestone!  I'm ready to stay on this side of 200 and keep moving forward in pursuing a strong and healthy mind, body, soul, and spirit. ❤

Fifteen days to the Finish Line!

I'm confident God is with us and for us,
working in us and through us!!

Okay, that's all I've got for today.
Hope you have a wonderful weekend ahead!

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Marathon Monday #16

Four weeks to the Finish Line!!  I jogged 16 miles Saturday morning, and I felt good and strong while I was out there!  Due to a bit of hip pain that may have caused me excessive concern, I toned it down and took Thursday and Friday as complete rest days, then Sunday was also rest and recovery, stretching and sitting with the heating pad.  I was sore post-run, but nothing out of the ordinary, and I feel better and ready for some light hills and strength training today.  My feet are getting tougher in a good way, and my mental resilience is growing stronger now too!  I want to use wisdom and avoid pushing myself too hard, but by the end of Friday night, I felt tired of my own excuses and determined and ready to get out there on Saturday morning, and that was good for me to press through my own fear and inner drama... I'm in the home stretch, and it's exciting!!

I'm super grateful for Central Park at The Station in Moore - it's been the perfect training ground for me in so many ways... a lovely lake/pond with ducks and geese and turtles, a 1.27-mile clean and open trail where loads of people come to train or to walk their cute dogs, the ability to stop by my car regularly for water or energy chews as needed, and easy access to a clean bathroom and filtered water at The Station - YAY!!  This = a turtle fam getting some sun this weekend.  They're much braver when they have crowd support.  One turtle by itself would've popped right back into the water when I stopped for a pic, as I know from lots of experience. lol

Once again, I stopped for a bathroom break and changed my socks at mile 9... I think that helps my mind to feel like it's a fresh start and it helps prevent terrible blisters (or so I tell myself), so I'm planning to pack a bag with extra running socks, body glide, etc. for Mom to have ready on Marathon day so I can stop and change into fresh dry socks once or twice. lol

I was out there for around 4 hours - I remembered sunscreen this time, but should have reapplied midway through.  This round, I spent the entire jog listening to an Apple Music playlist of 2000s hits, which was a fun dose of variety and familiar memories!  I had one slow interval set where I walked an extra 3 minutes because my heart felt like it was racing, but outside of that, I was very steady in my walk/jog intervals, so I'm confident that's the winning formula for race day!!

Yay for the redbud (should be purple-bud) trees!  Boo for the wasp duo that I dramatically changed course to avoid! lol

Four weeks from now, I'll have reached this long-anticipated goal, and I'll be recovering and feeling proud and grateful for this journey.  And shifting my focus to new meaningful goals for the road ahead of me.  I still feel confused and disenchanted sometimes, but the lack of purpose I felt for most of my 20s and 30s has vanished.  There is so much I want to do and accomplish, and I'm more concerned that there isn't enough time for all of it (but whatevs, we have eternal life ahead of us - what a gift!!)  Anyway, happy last day of March, friends and fam!!  I'm confident that you're finishing strong in this first quarter of 2025!  (*Friendly reminder that tomorrow is April Fool's Day.)