Comfort Cobras?

Day 26:  What movie or show do you return to again and again, and what comfort or truth does it offer you each time?

Gracious, that is not a short list.
I love rewatching my favorite episodes of familiar shows and/or movies!

For today, I'm going with Cobra Kai.

Johnny Lawrence never fails to makes me laugh... but I love his grit and determination and the way his character grows through this series!

...I find comfort in the ridiculous lines and familiar characters, and reassuring truth in watching these very messy-but-lovable characters gradually learn to find their strength and fight well.  The coaches and their students are all immature and dealing with unhealed brokenness... at first, their focus is naturally on protecting themselves and fighting perceived bullies/enemies, and their relationships are all comically fraught with tension, unhealthy competition, and turmoil... but if you can make it through that early drama and chaos, over time, there is a very. strong. redemptive arc where former enemies come together and fight to protect others.  It's messy and imperfect, but they all grow and improve.

There are strong themes of persevering through pain, leadership growth, trying new things, team unity ("protect the egg"), compromise over competition, strategic self-defense, and building your chosen family.  So yeah, I enjoy the ridiculous cheesy comedy and the absurdly intense villains, but the redemptive arc also really resonates with me in this season, and I've watched every episode at least 3x now!  (Because Cobra Kai never dies, but their hyper-aggressive stance does get a much-needed reframe.)

 

Shoutout to the Jaceman for his persistence in convincing me to watch the final two seasons!!

In other news, shoutout to Carter Lee for putting up my parents' Christmas lights this year!

And big thanks to Mom, Triston, Carter, and King Handyman Service for helping me remix several things in my own home... we're nearly done now, and I'm loving the changes!!  

My bookshelves are now in the entry hallway... they're surprisingly unobtrusive in that space, I seriously pared down the books I'm keeping, and it makes me happy to see this fun 'library' more often! ❤

The big L-shaped desk moved from the tiled room into my new home office (with much more happy sunlight for my new mostly-work-from-home job and CCU homework days - an improvement, as I've been doing that at the kitchen table the past 3 years. lol) ❤  Wall decor, plants, and state-issued computer coming soon.

The double bed is going to Katie from my lifegroup, and the new queen bed moved into the new guest room (formerly known as the nursery room).  Bedskirt and headboard on the way, and I feel like this room actually has more space for anyone who stays with me!

I got a 'miraculous' mattress upgrade (with a very extra salesman), but it is nice, and I'm thankful and love my bedroom setup with the pink couch!

And the only tiled room now houses the pink writing desk, navy rug and pink ottoman (which really soften that space), my painting and board of empowerment, my exercise bike and weights, and my Roku TV from work when it comes home with me next month!  It will be the blogging and biking room. lol  YAY! ❤

This took a bit of effort, but it's a functional and visual improvement in every space, so I'm very happy with it!! ❤

Okay, that's all for today.
Happy Thanksgiving Eve!!

❤ ❤ ❤

Reality at All Costs

Day 2:  What is one misconception about mental health you feel called to correct?

One of my favorite quotes on mental health:

"If you're depressed, if you're anxious,

You are not weak.  You're not crazy.

You're not a machine with broken parts.

You're a human being with unmet needs.

We need to talk less about chemical imbalances
and more about the imbalances in the way we live.

This problem goes deeper than biology,
and the solutions need to go deeper, too.

We are the loneliest society in human history.
Your depression is not a malfunction; it's a signal...
Your depression is telling you something.
With the right help, we can understand these problems,
and we can fix these problems together."
~Johann Hari, TED Talk

As a mental health student, client, professional, and leader, one common mental health misconception that I feel called to correct is the idea that people who seek counseling are somehow "crazy" or “trainwrecks” or that their lives must be falling apart.  FALSE.

Carelessly-placed negative labels can be so damaging, and I consistently wish people were more cautious with their words.  God reminds us that our words hold the power of life and death -- to uplift and heal, or to dehumanize or devalue hurting people.  

The stigma I mentioned above is harmful and unfair.  Many adults who seek counseling are emotionally mature people who value personal growth over personal comfort.  Maybe they're working toward a better future or seeking to change harmful patterns learned in a dysfunctional family system.  And yes, some clients are truly in crisis - maybe they are legitimate victims of neglect, abuse, sexual assault, or other trauma, and they need safety and support and healing before they can move from a victim mindset to a thriving survivor mentality.  Not broken or weak, but people (who are created in God's image and deeply loved by Him) with unmet needs.  Changing our habit patterns or learned identity is incredibly difficult work.  It's also deeply valuable, and seeking support through counseling shows healthy self-awareness, humility, strength, and courage!!

Another myth I would love to correct is the idea that any strong negative emotion is a sign of poor mental health.  FALSE.  As M. Scott Peck wrote, “Mental health is the dedication to reality at all costs.”

That means experiencing the full range of emotions and responding in a balanced, healthy way to whatever you are facing in the present moment.  True mental health is not about trying to convince yourself everything is fine when you're hurting.  Sadness, anger, and grief are all part of a mentally healthy life.  We do not have to force positivity or plastic smiles or put a positive spin on everything.  It is about learning to face the joys, sorrows, and confusion we feel with honesty and grace.

Pretending to be happy and okay when we’re not is actually an unhealthy denial of reality.  And a mentally healthy person does not avoid or trivialize their own pain; they acknowledge it, name it, and work through it... sometimes with the help of medication and/or a trusted friend, family member, or counselor!

The only way out is through.

Keep going.

❤ ❤ ❤

Reality vs. Expectation

This scene from 500 Days of Summer still hits hard.

Precious Joseph Gordon-Levitt goes to a party full of hope for a fun night where he reconnects with his ex-girlfriend and they dance and laugh and have sparkly conversation and go home together.  Instead, he drinks alone and makes small talk with strangers while watching her be flirty and fun with other men.  They do a split screen through the entire night of his expectations versus reality, and it resonates because we've all been there.  Not that specific scenario, but anything in life where the reality we experience falls incredibly short of what we had imagined...

While it's true that the entirety of my time living in the OKC area has not played out according to my original expectations, for me, this disconnected split-screen feeling is most true of my experience with the counseling profession.

The vision was Isaiah 61:1-4, connecting deeply with hurting people, speaking words of life, potentially using walk-and-talk therapy, helping clients break free from strongholds, and making a real and tangible difference in their futures.  When I signed up for night classes at SNU to pursue a counseling career 13 long years ago, I was seeking purposeful, relational work where my voice and heart would matter.  I believed that empowering clients to move forward with more hope and peace would be a vital, fulfilling, and financially stable career path.

That shiny expectation is gradually slipping away as I step closer to a potential career transition.  I am jumping through painful hoops and absurd rules as an LPC-Candidate, navigating the seemingly endless red tape, and looking for encouragement in counselors' "support groups" that are thickly layered with negativity, exhaustion, and self-protective tips on preventing lawsuits and angry emails.  The mental health crisis is real, candidates cannot accept insurance, and the mental health coverage rules for Medicaid are shifting (not in the favor of counselors or clients).  On top of that, I prefer working with adults, but every agency I've spoken with would prefer that I specialize with children (while no one has truly bothered to teach me how to do that well).  Many parents don't want personal counseling but want us to magically fix their kids.  And there is an absurd expectation for counselors to heal the trauma, teach the coping skills, diagnose accurately and quickly, and faithfully document their every move with measurable results and positive outcomes.

Disenchanted is an understatement.

The red tape, the fear-based thinking, expensive supervision meetings, personal safety concerns, lack of professional identity, lack of financial security/opportunity, unfair pressure to support everyone in their unique values and avoid offending anyone, it all feels... exhausting isn't even the right word.  I'm a gritty person, and I don't mind hard work.  Misaligned?  Disappointing?  Far from my hopes and expectations?  Closer.  I adore CCU's "grace and truth" motto.  I have loved so much of what I've learned and experienced there, and it makes me want to shine the light of Christ in a dark world!  But in the real world of counseling, the light of Christianity is being dimmed and hidden.  I can feel the OK board's lack of grace and support with their rigid timelines and infuriating love of technicalities.  It feels like every candidate I know is struggling with absurd stress levels and the lack of financial and emotional support... and it saddens me how much all of the above clouds our ability to be creative, to genuinely connect, and to offer compassionate and wise counsel!

It's not right, and it's not what I signed up for...

Still, I believe God has opened these doors for me.

And I believe that He doesn't waste anything.

Which means I am feeling this severe disenchantment for a reason.

(And it's probably not just about what's best/easiest for me.)

........

I know that social media sometimes reflects the loud minority, and that gives me hope that there are some counselors who are quietly thriving.  Either way, I know I am not alone in this frustrated perspective, but you cannot know how deeply flawed it all is until you're at the epicenter where you've invested so much time, money, and energy into this career that it becomes difficult to change course (the sunk cost fallacy).

It can be hard for me to articulate well, but I feel a deep-seated, growing, nearly-overwhelming awareness of what is wrong.

And I guess that's usually step one.

Honestly, my first (self-protective) instinct is to let all of this go and stick with the comfortable safety and stability of court reporting... it's likely there for me for as long as I choose it.

BUT the leadership course and the encouragement of Dr. Burkhart has me wondering what else God is up to here.  What others-focused role I might play in turning things around for future counselors (and their clients).  Where I might make a real and lasting difference through advocacy, servant leadership, teaching, supervision, research, writing, and yes, even counseling.  The original hope/calling is still in there, and growing stronger in me even as I write this... so it's worth pausing and praying about.  I'll keep you posted.

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

"The Sovereign Lord has filled me with His Spirit.  The Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the suffering and afflicted.  He has sent me to comfort the brokenhearted, to announce liberty to captives, and to open the eyes of the blind.  He has sent me to tell those who mourn that the time of God's favor to them has come, and the day of His wrath to their enemies.  To all who mourn in Israel He will give: beauty for ashes; joy instead of mourning; praise instead of heaviness.  For God has planted them like strong and graceful oaks for His own glory.  And they shall rebuild the ancient ruins, repairing cities long ago destroyed, reviving them though they have been deserted for many generations."

~Isaiah 61:1-4

❤ ❤ ❤

Compassionate Confrontation

“Honest, direct confrontation is a true expression of compassion. As Christians, we are in the world without being of it. It is precisely this position that renders confrontation both possible and necessary... We cannot suffer with the poor when we are unwilling to confront those persons and systems that cause poverty. We cannot set the captives free when we do not want to confront those who carry the keys. We cannot profess our solidarity with those who are oppressed when we are unwilling to confront the oppressor. Compassion without confrontation fades quickly into fruitless sentimental commiseration.”

~Henri Nouwen

Oof, this hit me hard today - what a fantastic quote!

He's not wrong.  I feel very experienced with "fruitless sentimental commiseration." lol  And while I believe there is some real value in empathetic connection and reminding people they are not alone, I want to grow in honest, direct confrontation.  Real compassion requires action.  Addressing what is wrong.  Speaking up for those who cannot speak for themselves.  Walking with assertive confidence and Godly authority.  Confronting evil rather than lamenting it or numbing myself to it while feigning powerlessness and remaining quiet.

Confrontation is not my strong suit,

but we can do hard things!

#growthmindset

Fun Fact: I finished the OKC Memorial Marathon five months ago, and I will cross the finish line with Chet Lee in the Route 66 Marathon (full for him; relay for me) less than two months from now! #getexcited

Hope it's been a lovely weekend for you.

I'll see you here tomorrow!

❤ ❤ ❤

The Reason I'm Telling You This...

Trying out Ally's method of writing directly to the reader about what I want them to learn from my story (in my future memoir-style book).

Another unrelated pic, but what a fun girls' trip memory! =)

The reason I'm telling you this is:

• To encourage you and point you to HOPE in Christ.
• I want you to know you are not alone in your pain.
• I want you to know you are not a permanent victim, but a survivor and conqueror.
• Pain will not get the last word; God really does bring beauty for ashes.
• Your heart matters.  Your voice matters.  Your story matters.  Step up.
• God has given you power and love and a sound mind.  Don't let our spiritual enemy convince you that you are weak, indifferent, or emotionally unstable!
• You. are. not. stuck.  Real and lasting change is possible.
• You sincerely have the power to disentangle yourself from the relationships, beliefs, and behaviors that are hurting you.  And I'd love to help you with that.
• God is INTENTIONAL.  He wastes nothing, and no person in your story was placed there accidentally (including those who have hurt you).
• Like manna, God's grace is enough for us day by day.  Like manna, we must take action to receive and enjoy it.
• Whatever you have to manipulate to get is rarely yours to keep. (-Beth Moore)
• Life is messy, and we are all works in progress.  I want to strengthen you and encourage you not to give up!
• You were created to be set apart and lead with integrity.  Do not compromise or sell yourself short.  Don't let anyone convince you that character doesn't matter.
• Security and insecurity are both contagious.  Be intentional about who you surround yourself with!
• We can learn and grow from our mistakes to become healthy people who are good at relationships, no matter how messy our past relationships have been!!
• God cares about (and is sovereign over) the details of your life.
• To remind you your interpretation and response to the painful things you've endured will shape the rest of your life.
• I want you to expand your vision for what your life can become!
• I love you and believe in you, and I'm confident in your ability to work with God and build a meaningful life!

That's a good start, and it does help to look at my stories from that lens!

❤❤❤

Leadership Identity

I have officially submitted my final presentation for Dr. Burkhart's class - huzzah for a break week ahead!

I will miss seeing him and hearing from him regularly, and I will miss this subject (Leadership, Ethics, and Advocacy).

This 7-week summer class has been incredible in encouraging/shaping my leadership identity.  It's perfect that they put it at the beginning of this program.  I feel very grateful for what I've learned and for the influence his leadership and belief in me has had (and will continue to have) on my life!  

Here is the handout I attached with my presentation... 

And here's the presentation video itself.

And last but not least, here's a compilation of some of the video feedback and thoughts from Dr. Burkhart this semester - this is how he grades everything, and it brings me so much joy!  It's the most fun when someone you deeply respect and admire turns out to be a fan of you, as well. =)

So truly grateful for every word of that.  I am not oblivious to the fact that this is God rewarding my commitment to academic integrity - it mattered, and this strengthens that decision moving forward.  The above praise and encouragement has pushed me to see my life's potential differently and to give it 110% effort throughout this class.  I'm not sure on the exact timeline, but I do believe I will finish the PhD at some point, if for no other reason than to strengthen my leadership identity capital.  Leading well matters, and I'm excited to be moving forward and feeling better about my chances of joining the CCU faculty down the road.  ;-)

That's all for now, friends.
I love you and believe in you!

❤ ❤ ❤

Thankful Thursday #229

"Study this Book of Instruction continually.

Mediate on it day and night

so you will be sure to obey everything written in it.

Only then will you prosper and succeed in all you do."

~Joshua 1:8

Today, I am thankful for:

1.  This book.  The #1 book I would recommend as it's the #1 book outside the Bible that has changed the course of my life.  I reread it last week preparing for my presentation next week...

2.  On a very related note, I'm grateful for the many stories that demonstrate the positive impact a seasoned guide/mentor can have on someone's life and identity!   I love this topic, and I'm excited to create a video presentation on how it relates to counseling professors and their students + counselors and their clients!! ❤
**If you think of another good example of the guide/mentor from books, TV, or movies, please message me!! =)

3.  That Dad was celebrated well on his 72nd birthday, by his staff and family and friends!

4.  AFD and Edward V. Kaufholz, III. =)  I'm forever a fan of their friendship and so happy they're back to regular podcasting together!

5.  Dr. Ku, my Dallas IVF embryo transfer doctor, who is on Instagram as drknockedup, which made me laugh pretty hard this morning.  Our meeting early this week went well - what felt potentially catastrophic last week should only cause a minor delay either way, so I am grateful for his insight, sincerity, and medical care!

6.  PELOTON... after five great years, my membership expired on 7-27-25.  I did my final Intention Setting walk with Kirsten Ferguson on Friday the 25th.  I'm thankful for the rides, the laughs, the strength workouts, the walks and jogs, the yoga workouts, the stretches, the music, and the coaches who inspired me and made working out feel more accessible and so much more fun from the start of the pandemic to today!  At this point in my life and schedule, I  usually prefer outdoor jogs and listening to podcasts or chatting with friends, but I will always be grateful for the way Peloton shaped my life and my identity!  My "Board of Empowerment" would not exist without those coaches, and they walked me all the way through my first (and likely only) marathon!  I'm forever grateful for the way the Peloton coaches and community helped me experience the joy of movement and exercise!!
"Live, Learn, Love Well."  "Peace, love, power, and respect!!"  #lindseyclaire7  ❤

7.  A really good day of counseling yesterday!  I'm grateful to be building connections and feeling more hopeful and confident about this work, and for the reminder below that God's power to transform our lives and our world is abundant and infinite. His perspective and resources are unlimited, and He is happy to share with us. ❤

I love you and believe in you,
and I hope you have a fantastic weekend ahead!
❤ ❤ ❤

The Hard... Is What Makes It Great

As Jesus reminds His followers, “To those who use well what they are given, even more will be given, and they will have an abundance. But from those who do nothing, even what little they have will be taken away” (Holy Bible, New Living Translation, Matthew 25:29).  Even in the face of systemic problems that feel overwhelming and well beyond our personal ability to resolve, we have a God-given role.  When His disciples pointed out that the massive crowd was hungry and exhausted, Jesus answered, “You feed them,” giving them the responsibility to find and collect the available food, organize the crowd into smaller groups, and hand out the food He graciously multiplied (Holy Bible, New Living Translation, Mark 6:37-44).  As a Christian counseling professional, part of strategic planning is being intentional about upholding my values and ethics, resisting temptation and submitting myself to God’s authority, which calls for more proactive engagement and advocacy (James 4:7)...

My personal philosophy of leadership and advocacy begins with a God-given calling and the practice of personal integrity that sets committed believers apart.  In any leadership role I embrace, one of the most important factors will be upholding personal integrity and moral authority.  Based on that, I know there will be continued temptations to compromise, settle, or take shortcuts to reach my vision (Stanley, 2005).  Godly mentorship, collaboration, and accountability will be important safeguards for me as I move forward with this plan, one step at a time.  Implementing an action plan for advocacy is rarely simple or linear (Chang, et al., 2021).  It requires pressing through our fear and intimidation, making multiple revisions and adjustments, and celebrating our progress along the way (p. 91).

At this stage in my life and career, the biggest challenge before me is overcoming my own subtle cowardice and love of comfort, and wholeheartedly stepping into all that God has planned for me.  I wish that were a one-time heroic decision, but I am learning that it happens one surrendered step at a time.  As a professional counselor and future counselor educator and supervisor, I feel a sober understanding that my willingness to submit to God will impact every life I have the sacred privilege of influencing.  Serving as a counseling leader and advocate will undoubtedly require courage and intentionality, and it will hold foreseen and unforeseen challenges.  And what comes to mind as I reflect on that tonight is the quote from Coach Dugan in A League of Their Own, “It’s supposed to be hard.  If it wasn’t hard, everyone would do it.  The hard… is what makes it great” (Marshall, 1992).

Conclusion

This paper articulates my personal philosophy of leadership and advocacy, detailing a personal advocacy plan of action that aligns with my philosophy.  I am confident that the finest counseling leaders are set apart through their God-given calling and personal integrity, embracing a growth mindset, inspiring positive change, and serving through advocacy.  This philosophy is shaped by my theoretical orientation, supported by research literature and personal experience, and aligned with my future aspirations and Biblical values.  This paper also examines how conditioned passivity and perceived inadequacy negatively impact counselor advocacy, detailing a practical action plan and proposing strategies to overcome conceivable obstacles.  Our calling to serve as advocates can be thwarted by learned helplessness, emotional overwhelm, and apathy in the face of systemic problems and social injustice.  We are limited and finite, but we are not helpless, and we serve an all-powerful God.  Leadership and advocacy roles are vital for Christian counselors, counselor educators, and supervisors, and we must be bold and intentional about doing our part and trusting Jesus to multiply our efforts.

That's a small portion of the paper I wrote a couple weeks back.

Some good reminders for me today.

I very much want to live with a growth mindset.  Not the safe and small life, but the adventurous, expanding one.  That means when I feel like I'm not good at something, I focus on how I can learn and grow and improve (absolutely possible) rather than how quickly I can quit and retreat and change course.  Stepping into a new identity is challenging, and counseling feels complicated and messy and hard right now, but God has given me enough little breaks and enough clear confirmations to stay the course.  Even if circumstances change and I do not finish the LPC hours and/or the PhD program, my choices in this season will still count and MATTER to God (and to my self-respect and character).  God wastes nothing, and I trust Him!  And in the end, I believe it will be true that the hard is what makes it great.

❤ ❤ ❤

High Expectations and High Support

On this day last year, we did poster presentations at Residency 3. I remember feeling very nervous while answering a few thoughtful questions from Dr. Burkhart (Dean of the Counseling program). That afternoon, I made the most of an opportunity and talked with him about the possibility of teaching at CCU someday. A short conversation, but I was encouraged by his response. That night in my CCU dorm room, I started my application for their PhD program!! …I am currently in his Leadership and Advocacy class, and what I’m learning is transforming my perspective and identity. He talked recently about leading with intentionality and heart, giving your full attention in every conversation and understanding that seemingly small interactions can have a major impact. I see that clearly as I look back at my few talks with him and the effect they had on my life. I’m thankful God led me to CCU 3 years ago, and I’m so grateful for Godly leaders who serve with integrity and put their heart into leading well and letting people know they matter!! Praying for wisdom and continuing growth as a leader - I’m honored to be learning from the best!

(-My Facebook post from yesterday)

My 2024 Poster Presentation with Joy and Tessa

*My first and perhaps most important interaction with Dr. Burkhart was in February of 2023, emailing him with a pressing ethics question.  I was legit ready to leave the program, but he responded with kindness, support, and an invitation to meet and discuss it - during our Zoom meeting, he told me the world needs people like me, Christian counselors who care enough to wrestle with the hard questions - it was validating and sincere, and it kept me going.  His video feedback on my papers in the first 3 weeks of this Leadership class has been incredibly encouraging, as well!  So all around, I'm grateful for his leadership and intentionality, and for the small shifts in my perspective and writing style that are helping me grow and improve.  His "high expectations and high support" motto makes so much sense, and he's living it out and inspiring me to do the same!

"One of the hardest things you, as a PhD student, have to do is learn how to shift your writing from a very appropriate, very academic supportive stance to a substantiative stance.  As a Masters-level student, you are likely very comfortable with taking a supportive stance of what another author has already said - responding to the citations - the citations are driving the knowledge and content.  Very appropriate for Masters-level writing; not as appropriate for doctoral-level writing. You are the expert.  You are a person who's earning a doctoral degree, so you are making very authoritative statements and claims.  You are teaching us, then you are using sources to support what you're saying... If you make this shift now, your academic literature from this point forward as a PhD student will be 1,000 times better... Something can’t show up until it’s been stored up.  Hang in there.  My goal for you is to be the best writer that you can be after you leave this course.  I want you to be a better leader, a better researcher, better supervisor, better educator, better writer.  I want you to think differently.   I have seven weeks with you, and I want to push you as hard as I can, but I want you to know that I am doing that because I actually care.  I actually care about where you wind up and what you take away from this class.  So stick with me.  Allow me to stretch you a little bit.  I am 100% here to support you… My motto when it comes to teaching classes is: High expectations and high support!  I think high expectations with low support is inappropriate, and I think low expectations regardless of support level is inappropriate.  If you walk away from any class I teach and you’re the same writer, you’re the same student, you’re the same clinician, then I’ve failed.  To some extent, it’s also on you, but just know that that’s my intention.  I want to push you; I want to challenge you.  But it’s being done with the hope that you’re walking away different after this class.  I think that’s what you’re spending money and time and emotion on – not just to get through this class, but to get through this class successfully and be different at the end of it, to have grown and developed in a certain way.  So I’m here if you need anything.  I really hope that my video feedback on your papers is beneficial to you.  But again, guys, if you want to meet, let me know.  I’m always here.”

~Dr. Ryan Burkhart, Dean of the School of Counseling

“In our current societal landscape, we find ourselves facing numerous challenges that contribute to cultural instability, family breakdown, and a lack of trust in governments, the judicial system, and the media... At the core of the issue of meaninglessness and purposelessness we see in our society lies a lack of trust in absolute reality and a rejection of ultimate and universal truth.  While it is valuable to listen to each person’s story, our society has rejected the grand narrative presented by God.  A factor that has been missing in the treatment model has been the integration of the spiritual component.  We know well that relying solely on these secular techniques falls short, as they merely produce individuals who are symptom free.  This outcome fails to provide a foundation of dependence on the Lord, salvation, and sanctification.  Consequently, individuals may find themselves free from symptoms, yet still bound by the chains of sin and pain.  As counselors and counselor educators of Christian faith, we have an opportunity to impact the broader culture for Christ… we must seize opportunities to bring about change in our communities, schools, workplaces, institutions, research, and the entire field of counseling through our Christ-centered servant leadership and advocacy efforts.  Our influence should extend beyond the confines of a therapy room or a classroom or university.  This needs to infiltrate the front levels in our profession.  Just as Jesus went into the world, so should we, impacting lives through our knowledge, compassion, and the hope found in Jesus Christ.  May our efforts as counselors and counselor educators reflect the love and grace of the Lord as we strive to bring healing and wholeness to those entrusted to our care."

~Dr. Selin Philip, Founder of the PhD Program

(These quotes are from short videos they made for this class - I so appreciate being able to learn from them.)

In God's Hands

Hey, friends and fam!  It's been a whole week, which is rare for me.  I'm in a pretty awesome new season with a very full schedule... and I'm confident God is expanding my capacity and giving me the daily grace I need to navigate these current roles well!

• Adoptive Mom:  Signed the contracts to officially adopt 2 living-but-frozen Snowflakes embryos (on 7-18-25 - YAY!!), writing a thank you note to the placing parent today, and navigating next steps and medical appointments moving forward!
• Counselor:  My part-time role with Integrated Therapy Solutions - embracing the intense learning curve with the Milan electronic records system, submitting treatment plans and progress notes, attending weekly supervision meetings, and counseling 2 continuing clients and 4 new clients this week!
• Court Reporter:  My secure and steady full-time job - interesting Preliminary Hearings, scoping transcripts, covering court for other Judges with the current CR shortage, and enjoying the feeling of established competence and the accrued leave and benefits here!
• Doctoral Student:  Writing discussion posts and leadership papers + Zoom classes and group meetings + preparing a conference presentation (all without the help of AI, thank you very much! lol)!
• Individual:  Returning to regular church attendance, listening to great audiobooks, blogging as needed, and developing a solid morning routine for daily workouts and time with God!
• Relational:  Maintaining strong friendships in Tulsa, cultivating new friendships in OKC, daily talks with Mom, weekly family dinners, and weekly walks with Kristin!
• Extras:  A 10-hour Trauma Focused CBT training (online - started it Friday) + helping on Ashley Campbell's book launch team (YAY!)

I also believe God will help me narrow that list a bit by the end of this year, which helps me dive deep and invest faithfully in the meantime.  It helps that I believe every bit of the above is fruitful -- I'm planting good seeds, and God will decide what grows from it!  For now, I'm working on not using the words scattered, fragmented, or divided when I talk about my attention span.  Instead, I'll say God is teaching me and growing my capacity for leadership and giving me what I need day by day.  I am learning to trust His timing and doing my best to be intentional about focusing on one role at a time, shifting my full focus as needed to engage in all the things that matter to me!! ❤

Okay, so about the book launch team... I'm about 1/3rd of the way through my pre-release copy of Ashley's book and loving everything about it so far!  Not a surprise - her writing has always been poignant, and the stories and pictures from their family trip around the world are captivating!  (It's also inspiring the writer side of me - I love this reminder that a book can be anything you want it to be.  Every page of her book is filled with family photos or pictures from their trip - somehow, I didn't realize that was an option, but it's fantastic, and it's changing how I want to format my future book!!)

The best!  Loved following their trip in real-time via Instagram, but seeing it all in one book now - along with Ashley's insightful reflections and a page written by each of her kids and Chris - is freaking awesome!!

Here's my beautiful niece, Miss Kyndal Faith, enjoying her new blonde highlights this summer!  Love her, and I was happy to see this front-facing smiley profile pic!! lol

Yesterday would have been Grandad's 96th birthday, although I'm confident he's forever young now in Heaven!  I'm thankful for his life and the way he loved us!

Last Friday was a Tulsa trip for CFA lunch with the wonderful Wilson fam, a hair appointment with Janelle, and an impromptu stop at Tulsa Lexus for an oil change - gracious, the Tulsa one is just so much better than the Edmond branch!  In spite of the lack of color on their showroom floor (Mom would not approve!), it was nice to be back! ;-)

This and chapter 107 are speaking to me lately.  This one talks about God's commands being trustworthy and true, to be obeyed faithfully and with integrity... reminding us that "the rewards of wisdom come to all who obey Him."  And Chapter 107 repeatedly shows people royally messing things up then crying out to God for help, and He repeatedly rescues them in their distress.  Both are encouraging chapters that apply to my life in different seasons!

This was the Verse of the Day when I had to write a paper on advocacy and was internally resisting that whole topic.  All the suggested topics were causing me to shut down, so I ended up writing about that emotional response, and specifically about overcoming the conditioned passivity and learned helplessness that often hold us back from getting involved in potential political conflict and/or serving as professional or social justice advocates.  It was personal and intense, and over the past couple weeks, I spent literally 17+ hours researching and writing that 12-page paper.  However, the grades and the feedback videos from Dr. Burkhart made all that effort feel very worth it!  (Something I'll keep in mind if/when I'm a professor down the road.)  I'm VERY grateful for his encouragement and the growing confidence I feel there.  Anyway, I used this verse in my paper as evidence that God wants us to grow in our role as leaders and advocates, to keep learning new ways we can help others and fight for those who are vulnerable!  And it's true - leadership doesn't have lasting impact if you're not actively serving others and using your God-given position, skills, and influence for good!

Finally, here's a pic from the Shoemakers' moving day two weeks ago - the Wilsons coming to see them at that house one last time.  I miss them already!

Okay, that's all I've got for now... headed to a meeting about the new electronic/recording system they're installing in our courtroom, and looking forward to family dinner tonight! ❤

Thanks for being here!  I love you and believe in you, and I believe God will give you all the grace you need for the roles He has placed you in TODAY!  He gives us new grace one day at a time, just like the manna for the Israelites, and our lives and futures are secure in His hands! 

❤ ❤ ❤