Brave & Beautiful Life

Day 12 - What song best captures your personality or current season of life - and why?

You can be amazing; you can turn a phrase into a weapon or a drug.  You can be the outcast or be the backlash of somebody's lack of love.  Or you can start speaking up.  Nothing's gonna hurt you the way that words do when they settle 'neath your skin, kept on the inside and no sunlight, sometimes the shadow wins.  But I wonder what would happen if you say what you wanna say and let the words fall out.  Honestly, I wanna see you be brave with what you want to say...

Everybody's been there, everybody's been stared down by the enemy.  Falling for the fear and learn to disappear and bow down to the mighty.  But don't run.  Stop holding your tongue.  Maybe there's a way out of the cage where you live.  Maybe one of these days you can let the light in, and show me how big your brave is.  Say what you wanna say, and let the words fall out.  Honestly, I wanna see you be brave!

And since your history of silence won't do you any good - did you think it would?  Let your words be anything but empty.  Why don't you tell them the truth!?

Say what you wanna say, and let the words fall out.
Honestly, I wanna see you be brave!

There's a verrry long list of songs I love and relate to, but I'm going with Brave as the song best representing my personality and current season.

I'm getting better and better at speaking up, telling the truth, and being brave with what I want to say, gradually overcoming my history of silence or reactive sharp words or being the quiet outcast.  No more disappearing, no more falling for fear or giving in to the enemy or feeling caged.  More letting the light in and speaking truth in love!

I deeply love and respect moms and have often imagined myself being a good mom... but the closer I came to it, the more I felt trapped and panicked and gradually realized that single motherhood is really not my dream, then it was a ridiculous struggle for me to say that out loud and change course.  Throughout my entire adult life, writing has helped me sift through my thoughts and become braver with my words over time!  I'm grateful. ❤

Second place goes to the clean version of Eldest Daughter by T-Swift, as I really love the bridge to that song - so much so that I bought this t-shirt with those lyrics on it!  :-)  It's about reclaiming childhood joy and rest and renewing your hope for things you once said were dumb because you were projecting a false strength and you thought that you'd never find that "beautiful, beautiful life that shimmers that innocent light back like when we were young."  That resonates right now too, and I freaking love it. ❤

In other news, Happy Birthday to JoBug today!! ❤

Fun throwback to me getting to ride Tiana's Bayou Adventure (formerly Splash Mountain) twice on this day last year!!  To think, they were going to skip this gem! lol

Finally, here's the fam at Jace's first 7th grade basketball game last night!

(He was in no mood for photos after they lost.)

Looking forward to seeing them again at family dinner tonight!

❤ ❤ ❤

Thankful Thursday #232!

"Rejoice always, pray continually;

give thanks in all circumstances,
for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."
~1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Today, I am thankful for...

1.  Teresa, whose birthday is today!! ❤  I'm grateful for her friendship and support and kindness through the years... and of course, I'm thankful for the key role she played in raising the best person I know!

2. That my niece and youngest nephew are having a fun Fall Break... Rach took them TPing Tuesday night, and seeing this pic brings back lots of fun memories!!

3.  Happy, colorful fresh flowers!  On the latest Eldredge podcast, they talked about how the beauty we find in our favorite parts of God's creation has a powerful healing impact on our souls, and I've been thinking about that and looking for it more since.  For me in this season, it's the details of colorful flowers and the calming effect of being near water (ponds, lakes, oceans, even pools).

4.  This reminder not to take the present gifts and joys for granted.

5.  A last-minute lunch plan with Mom yesterday... good talk, good food, and good for me! ❤

6.  Long story, and I can't go into all the details here, but I'm grateful for what God has taught me through my first and last paying client at ITS!  I was questioning the value of counseling and feeling like access to money made more of a tangible difference in people's lives than any counseling skill or intervention ever could, then something happened that flipped that script and reminded me that strong relationships and self-respect are worth more than anything money can buy.  It's been a journey the past couple months, but I needed that reminder!  Starting to feel more like myself again, and I'm grateful.

7.  At Jace's football game, a kind mom came over to talk to Rach for a bit, and she was wearing a cute t-shirt that said, "Motherhood is Kingdom Work."  True, and I felt myself quickly tear up as I read it - reminding me that I'm not quite okay just yet - then I looked away and pulled myself back together.  Yesterday was Infant Loss Awareness day, and there were several posts and podcasts that were helpful to me in this ambiguous grief.  Anyway, in talking to Chet about that moment at Jace's game, without being dismissive of my emotions, he reminded me that a lot of other things I'm already doing or stepping toward qualify as valuable "Kingdom work."  And again, I needed that reminder in this season!  So I'm grateful for God-given reminders of better things ahead, for the gradual healing process I can feel, and for what is hopefully the first of many publishing contracts I got to sign this week!! ;-)  (I was surprised to learn they're actually paying me to co-author a chapter of a counseling textbook with a CCU professor, and I laughed when they assumed I was also a professor - I'll take it.)

❤ ❤ ❤

Letting Go & Holding On

This was not the most stressful season of my life, but it was absolutely the most consequential decision I've ever been called to make.  It involved a lot of prayer and inner wrestling and seeking wise counsel.  To massively summarize it, I have decided to let go of my adoption plan while holding firmly to my faith in God's bigger plan. ❤

Emily and I talked about the "sunk cost fallacy" last week.  Sometimes, we keep pushing and investing in something we know is not working purely because of how much we've already put into it.  This is often the case in abusive marriages, bad relationships, and other misaligned decisions.  I will try to be more aware of that dynamic as life moves forward, making the wise choice as early as possible!

My harmony-loving Enneagram 9 self was on the far end of the stress spectrum through most of August and September.  Now I'm taking a breather to calm my frazzled nervous system before I make a 4th quarter comeback toward growth!!

A lovely Lake Hefner jog after my CBD oil & hot stone massage on Saturday!

#therapyhomework #arealquickyes

Reminding myself of this over and over...

"David, nobody cares!" -Alexis Rose

(Not that nobody cares about me, but that no one is analyzing my life or judging my every decision in the way I occasionally imagine.  They're busy dealing with their own lives, and I am free to do what is right for me. And to let them think whatever they want about it.)

A key verse God used to speak to me lately.

Seeing our new "In God We Trust" on the courthouse while I'm out walking in Norman always makes me happy (this = the ground view from The Well right across the street from my office windows).

People guessed that today's look was for Halloween or OSU,

but it's just more T-Swift inspired orange brightness! =)

Let's hope so...

Truly, I'm saving most of the details for a future book, but this was not a small thing to me.  It has been heavy and hard, and I was not okay for a bit.  I am deeply grateful for the patience, wise counsel, and encouragement of Chet Lee, Mom,  Emily, and Kristin.  I'm gradually seeing the light at the end of this tunnel now, but still in the process of buttoning things up to close this lengthy and confusing chapter... while figuring out what my new chapter of life may look like and where to plant my focus moving forward.

I do not know what that will look like yet.  But in a way that feels real and substantive to me, I trust that God has good things in store.

Wednesday walk with Kristin last week - happy to get back into that routine!!

It made me smile to see this and imagine myself stopping on the course to trace this random pumpkin whilst breathing deeply.  I wouldn't put it past me. lol

"Anxiety isn't the problem.  It's the alarm."  This feels true for me (I feel jittery and anxious when things are out of alignment).  I am working on trusting myself and paying attention to what my body is telling me more quickly on things like that!

Happy 45th Birthday to Jeffrey Edward, a real JEM of a friend for the past 15+ years!!

(These pics from his 33rd bday party still make me happy!) ❤

Happy Belated Birthday (57 yesterday, 10-6) to Mel Robbins!!  What a gift her podcast and books and 2024 Launch program have been for me... excited to get to see her live in Dallas next April!  ❤

Happy Belated Bday (36 on 10-5) to Travis Kelce! lol

And finally, Happy Belated Jesus-year Birthday (33 on 10-2) to Rachel Elizabeth, a fellow Swiftie and fun friend!  I'm excited to see the Shoemaker fam in Tulsa again next month!! ❤

That's all for now.

As Jeffrey would say,

"Make it a great day!"

❤❤❤

Nostalgic New York

And now, as promised, my NYC collages.  It still comes in 2nd to Vegas, but New York has really grown on me!! Looking back, I am grateful for lots of good memories here from very different seasons of my life…

1998 Fam Vacation ~ After Rachael’s 6th Grade class trip to Washington D.C., we made a family road trip that included a stop in NYC… visiting Rupert’s Deli (famous on David Letterman then) and Time’s Square + taking a starlight ferry cruise to see the Statue of Liberty were the highlights!!  

2005 Side Trip with Joshua Michael and Holly Dei ~ While visiting Holly at Yale University, we took the train from New Haven to Grand Central Station and spent a day in NYC!  Highlights were seeing Mamma Mia on Broadway, singing while running to catch the train back, and going to the top of the Empire State Building! 

2010 Christmas Trip with Chet Lee and Malori Riah ~ technically late November, but the big tree was up!  Malori got sick and the city felt very aggressive and overstimulating to me that year, but highlights were seeing the famous Christmas tree, Chet meeting Holly, and my first visit to Central Park!  And the Broadway play with the lion headbands. lol

2017 Post-Niagara Falls Trip with Mom & Dad + Bill & Jill ~ Redemption for the Big Apple! Touring the five boroughs with Tom Orzo was fantastic and really helped me see it all in a new light - loved everything about that day! Other highlights were Junior’s dinner, Central Park, our lunch cruise, Levain Bakery, and our Uber driver named Seamus!

2025 New Years Trip with Triston Michael ~ Taking my oldest nephew to see several fun places there… highlights included seeing Wicked on Broadway, Serendipity 3, the Christmas tree again, and finally touring the 9/11 Memorial Museum… highly recommend!!

And finally, September 13, 2025 ~ a solo adventure because it was on my “Life List” to see Hamilton on Broadway, and what better time than while Leslie Odom Jr. is back for the 10-year anniversary run!?  Highlights were having box seats to see a truly phenomenal Hamilton cast, trying Anita Gelato - yum, randomly buying a fun painting of my fav spot in Central Park, and grabbing Junior’s cheesecake to go!

I have some ideas for trip #7 eventually, but first, I'm hoping for another trip to Disney, Vegas, and possibly Hawaii! =)

In other news, yesterday was Katelyn Marie's 40th birthday, so HBD to her!! ❤

Make it a great week ahead!

❤ ❤ ❤

Birthdays & Breaking Agreements

The Mini Miss K's 12th birthday was on Thursday!  I was able to move my Thursday clients to Wednesday night (yay!), and we had Mom's spaghetti (Kyndal's fav) for her birthday family dinner.  Here's me and the birthday girl ~ I just love her so much!!  I've realized how much I love to celebrate the people who love to celebrate themselves! lol  I always have and always will appreciate people who get excited about making a big deal of their birthday and embrace the belief that their life deserves to be richly celebrated!!  I'm on that list.  And Kyndal making us a detailed Google slideshow of her bday wishlist and spending the last couple months planning her party during family dinners puts her firmly in that category. lol #embracelife #youareworthcelebrating

She was looking so cute in her new leopard pants and pink shirt and birthday button. ❤

Mamaw with T&C!

Carter joined us for Kyndal's bday, so it was good to get caught up on his life and hear all of them catching up on the latest CHA-circle news.

MWC Sams did a slightly better job on this cake, but still not too impressed!

The Parrish boys!  J's inability to hold the serious face makes me happy. =)

The Miss K and everyone else!

And finally, a happy through-the-years slideshow!!

I really love that song and feel nostalgic whenever I hear it, thanks to S.C.  And I always call her "preshface" on the blog, so it feels appropriate! lol

Anyway, now that all the August events are over, all my best excuses for continually eating unhealthy foods are also gone.  And as my own presentation reminded me, I'm. not. stuck. and I'm. not. a. helpless. victim. in any area - I have the power to make better choices that build new habits and create real change, and I'm taking that seriously.  I don't love the trajectory I've been on lately with stress-eating and negative agreements (thinking patterns that are more aligned with the enemy's plan for my life than God's), and it's 100% up to me to fix that.  I'm gonna throw it out here that my new goal is to actually reach the 155 goal weight Dr. Matt set for me last summer.  Health is definitely not all about the scale numbers, but I was too quick to decide that number would be impossible for me.  It isn't the impossible dream, and it would actually put me at a healthy BMI and probably a size 10, which would be awesome and not extreme or absurd.  And I don't want to sell myself short by leaning into the old/familiar identity and limiting beliefs, so I'm leaning into new possibilities!  Here's to being intentional about breaking terrible agreements, setting new goals, agreeing with God's plan for me, embracing a new way of seeing myself, and staying the freaking course.  For the record, while we're on this topic, I'd like to be at 177 or below pre-pregnancy, then use wisdom and stay under 200 if God allows me to get pregnant... and then eventually (think 2027) push myself to reach 155 and try to maintain within 10 pounds of that + get 45 minutes of good exercise six days a week for the foreseeable future.  Okay then, great talk! lol  I am buckling down on healthy eating and training for my Route 66 Marathon Relay starting tomorrow! #getexcited #teamchettles

Hope you have a lovely Sunday ahead.

I love you and believe in you!
And I believe in our ability to course correct,

and I'm confident God is with us and for us in whatever we may face today!

❤ ❤ ❤

12!

My youngest niece turns 12 on Thursday!  They celebrated with a colorful slumber party on Friday!! 

Rach took them out for a movie + mall fun + Ted's dinner, then Triston, Jace, and TJ joined the girls for a glowing night swim at Mom and Dad's!

The decor was awesome and ever-so-slightly over the top, as per usual! lol

Rach went all out with the posters, banners, tents, balloons, and aerials!

Where Rach gave this party 190% effort, the MWC Sam's gave it a heartfelt 10% effort on his cake. lol Still tasty, but the decorating job was very rough!! 

Kyndal has been planning this party for several months, so I hope it was all she wanted it to be!  The matching tutus, shoes, and sunglasses are pretty cute and fun!! =)

Happy last full week of summer to the niece and nephews, and happy Monday to my lovely blog readers!

❤ ❤ ❤

72

Today is Dad's 72nd Birthday!

I joined Mom and Dad for Life.Church and lunch (5 weeks in a row now).  We did a brunchy meal at All-American Diner today.  We ❤ breakfast food! lol 

I had a virtual counseling session at 2:00 and a potential-client consult at 3:15, then I joined the fam for dinner at Longhorn Steakhouse at 5:45!  Here's our happy table pic. =)

Mom and I got the $5 strawberry pecan side salad, which was pretty awesome and much more food than I'd expected!  We talked about how we love everything except the lettuce. lol 

Our waitress was pretty great, and they brought a complimentary b-day dessert for Dad!

Random guy outside offered to take our group pic, then he took 5 from different angles, so I applaud him for that!

The last half of the past week was discouraging and emotionally-heavy, so I'm very grateful that last night's walk with Kristin and most everything I did today felt light and happy!

Since we were a mile away from the new Andy's in Norman, we ended the day with some frozen custard!

This one makes me happy... at first, you could only see my dessert, so I told J to hold his ice cream up too, then everyone did it at once, and Rach (who doesn't care for ice cream) did a quick thumbs up! lol

Happy Birthday to Dad!!

❤ ❤ ❤