Rebuilding What Was Destroyed

One thing that stuck with me from the 9/11 Memorial Museum tour last January was seeing and touching this massive steel column that had buckled and folded over itself when the South Tower collapsed.

It stood out as the only artifact in the museum we were encouraged to touch - our guide even told us to work together to try to lift it.  Feeling the literal weight of that multi-ton piece of steel (that landed amid 360 million pounds of rubble) made me step back with renewed awe at the level of destruction.  The full magnitude of the Ground Zero clean-up work felt heavier and more real.

* * * * * * *

A recent podcast I heard brought that experience back to mind.  The host was emotional describing a time when her public reputation was unjustly maligned, when everything she had spent years building seemed to collapse at once.  The idea of rebuilding felt HEAVY and required a lot of support.

I could relate thinking about my journey within the counseling profession and all that happened last fall...

From February 2012 when I started night school classes at SNU to October 2025 when I pressed pause and felt like giving up, internally and externally, I had been BUILDING toward a counseling career path - a goal I had set with the belief that it had lasting Kingdom value.  Brick by brick, pursuing counseling has required tremendous personal courage and growth from me:  the applications, interviews, residency trips, presentations, papers, role plays, hundreds of practicum and internship hours, counseling children and adults, facilitating grief and divorce groups, challenging feedback, research, confusing rejections, wrestling with ethical questions, strong mentors and friendships, questions of identity and calling, repeatedly pressing through self-doubt, and consistently seeking God's direction!  (And what a gift every bit of that has been, looking back.  I love the grit and confidence it has gradually instilled in me!)

Still, watching my adoption plans/dreams crumble to the ground last fall took a serious toll on my identity, hope, determination, and faith.  Some negative feedback from a misaligned supervisor in that season added fuel to the fire, and it became surprisingly easy to believe I had misheard God about the adoption and the counseling dreams.  It all seemed too hard and heavy, and I opted to quietly fade back and let the LPC dream go.  But God never let go of me.

"Did God's people stumble and fall beyond recovery?   Of course not!  ...For the gifts and the calling of God are irrevocable [for He does not withdraw what He has given, nor does He change His mind about those to whom He gives His grace or to whom He sends His call]."  ~Romans 11:11-29

*Adding that one to my board of empowerment ASAP.*
After passing the National Counselor Exam and navigating the painfully-difficult process of becoming an LPC-Candidate in Oklahoma, the 104 clinical hours I earned last fall have now officially expired.  So I am starting from ground zero in that area.  When you spend years building something meaningful, watching it collapse can feel like a personal failure.  Standing among the wreckage of something you poured your heart, energy, money, prayers, and effort into can make walking away seem more appealing than rebuilding.

BUT what if I am supposed to acknowledge the brokenness and devastation around me as the work of the enemy, learn from it, and intentionally CHOOSE to start over and rebuild with God?  What if part of leadership is having the courage and audacious faith to rebuild what the enemy worked so hard to crush and destroy?

The challenges I've experienced here have been humbling, sobering, and educational.  My accumulated hours will no longer count toward becoming an LPC, but there was real value there (for my growth and hopefully for the clients I served), and I'm building from a stronger foundation of wisdom and experience now.

It also brings me great JOY and comfort to realize that the Bible passage I chose for my vision board and my grad school announcement in 2022 -- the very same one I posted on this blog a full decade earlier (the week I started classes at SNU Tulsa) -- concludes with this poignant verse about rebuilding:

"They will REBUILD the ancient ruins.  They will RESTORE the places destroyed long ago.  They will RENEW the ruined cities..."  ~Isaiah 61:4

God is bringing so many pieces together in my mind and heart lately.  I was always called to rebuild - I just didn't think it would start with my own God-given dreams and identity.  (But honestly, why would it start anywhere else?  God establishes things internally before He increases our Kingdom impact.)

Exciting News:  This afternoon, following a 3-step interview process, I signed the offer letter and was hired as a Licensed Professional Counselor Candidate for Momentum Counseling & Consulting, a growing firm based in Colorado and recommended by a trusted mentor.  I'm genuinely excited and grateful... and a bit reflective as I anticipate the changing of seasons and all that it may encompass.  Breathe - one step at a time.  I feel a good nervous energy, like I'm standing at the start line of a marathon, gearing up for a challenging course ahead, knowing there will be hard hills and meaningful support and unexpected turns, and trusting that the finish line will be worth the effort!  I am determined to represent Christ with wisdom, grace, renewed JOY, and endurance.

The word "rebuilding" usually sounds hopeful to me, and for good reason.  There is beauty in casting a new vision, but there is heaviness and pain behind it, as well.  It means there was real devastation - something you built with great care that was crushed, and now you have to reassess and do the work a second time.

Someday soon, I will undoubtedly have clients and future grad students who are rebuilding parts of their lives... sifting through the wreckage of dreams, plans, and/or relationships that were shattered.  And this experience will inform and strengthen my response.  I am growing in my firsthand understanding and ability to slow it all down and sit. with. people. in the midst of devastating grief, honoring their emotions and valuing the full magnitude of what they've lost.  And when the timing is appropriate, I believe God will empower me to speak words that help strengthen them with renewed hope as He provides the courage needed to rebuild.

Going back to the top of this post, after touring the 9/11 Memorial Museum, we went to see the view from the top of the Freedom Tower.  You can feel it when you step into it - that building tells a new story of hope, one that is powerful and redemptive and special.  Beauty for ashes, you might say.  Obviously, the entire story matters, and it mirrors the larger Kingdom narrative.  I believe that will be true in my life, as well - our losses matter, and what we build moving forward with God's help matters.  What a gift that God loves to write redemptive stories!

I'm reminding myself that Kingdom work is opposed, and rebuilding was never intended to be easy.  This work requires great effort and heart, and God understands that.  I am starting with a sparkly clean slate in a new state system where I can build my caseload and counseling skills while building a trusted reputation for Godly wisdom, excellence, and integrity! #goals  My capacity may be limited, but I will have a team of solid supervisors for support, and I can lean on Jesus and continually invite God's help and guidance!!

❤

Important Perspective:  In spite of losing my accumulated hours, I'm so thankful I took the past year "off" from counseling and schoolwork.  There was needed healing and growth, and I'm in a much better place to move forward now!  When you are wounded and surrounded by the wreckage of a broken dream, have grace for yourself.  It is 100% okay to pause and grieve over what has collapsed.  Acknowledge all that you invested, then take inventory of what was ruined and what remains.  Most importantly, DRAW NEAR TO GOD, and He will draw near to you (James 4:8).  He will guard you with fiercely protective strength, gently bind and care for your wounds as you heal, then give you a fresh perspective and renewed strength for moving forward.  He is with you in your lowest moments; He has not forgotten you.

God rewards those who sincerely seek Him (Hebrews 11:6).

He shows up when we seek Him wholeheartedly (Jeremiah 29:13).

Promises, not exaggerations.

If you are in Christ, the rubble does not get the last word in your story!

Jesus is still writing new chapters.

The one true God is FOR YOU, infusing you with His power, His love, and sound wisdom that overcomes lies, fear, and timidity.  All is not lost.  Some doors may be closed, but stay alert for the new doors God is opening before you.  His hope is still the secure anchor for your soul, and He has not withdrawn His gifts or changed His mind about calling you!!  When the time comes to rebuild, press forward in faith, trusting God to redeem E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G the enemy intended for your destruction.

"Those who look to Him for help will be RADIANT WITH JOY, and no shadow of shame will darken their faces."  ~Psalm 34:5

Go in the strength you have, and do the work!
Build something new and stronger with God, one obedient step at a time.

The best is yet to come! ❤

“Be strong and courageous, and do the work.  Don’t be afraid or discouraged, for the LORD God, my God, is WITH YOU.  He will not fail you nor abandon you [but will GUIDE YOU in the construction] until you have finished all the work..."  ~1 Chronicles 28:20 

 ❤ ❤ ❤

Across the Street

Following God is such a fun and fascinating journey!  I had the distinct honor and privilege of leading a good friend to Christ this morning...

This = our group pic after LifeGroup... me, Josie, Katie, Ashley, Natalie, Haley, Amira, and baby Esther (who literally took her first steps during group, which was also pretty exciting)!!

Katie felt unprepared and considered canceling yesterday; I offered to help lead, then a few things felt off and I didn't want to step into potentially hard conversations, so I was honestly debating whether to go to group at all this morning.  Checked my email when I woke up, and that included Christine Caine's "First Things First" devotional (a daily email that's been fruitful and timely multiple times lately - highly recommend subscribing HERE).  Today's email was titled "Across the Street," emphasizing that God wants us to be willing to cross the street to reach out to the lost and hurting world who needs Him.  Katie's house is quite literally across the street from mine, so that was a fairly clear sign I couldn't ignore. lol

I arrived early to help prepare and co-lead.  Katie and I prayed together and discussed the need to clarify and not overcomplicate the gospel message (pic below = her reading the Genesis account of the fall of man from a children's Bible).

We were covering the basics of what we believe, and one of the women had sincere questions (no names out of respect for her privacy).  We discussed the Romans road Scriptures below, why christening doesn't save you (not a personal choice), why baptism is symbolic but not essential for salvation, and the differences between conviction and condemnation.  Because I had a closer relationship with her, Katie texted me that I should lead her through the prayer if I was comfortable with that.  I carefully asked if she wanted to make that choice, and she was ready and willing and excited (and a little nervous) about it.  The group gathered around to support her, the Holy Spirit gave me the words to say, and I led her through a prayer to make Jesus her Savior and Lord.  We all clapped and celebrated together, continuing to share support and answer questions.  (Today had marked a painful anniversary for her, so we talked about it being good that she will have a better anniversary to celebrate on this day moving forward.)  It was a sacred moment, and I really feel so much gratitude for the way God showed up there!! ❤

Looking at Facebook later, I realized this is the 3-year anniversary of Babah's funeral service.  Speaking at her graveside and memorial service took courage for me that day, and I am glad I leaned into that and followed God's call to be brave.  My talk included the verses below, and it was encouraging for me to re-read them today.

"Be steadfast, strong, and immovable...
nothing you do for the Lord is ever wasted or without purpose."

AMEN to that!!

❤

K-Faith and friends celebrating their victory at the Tulsa tournament today!

Proud of them, and happy they have one last tournament in Norman on Monday!

Kyndal with Coach Jantzen (Heidi, who was in the class of 2003 between Rach and I at CHA)

I've been praying for God to work in me and through me and for me, and He is showing up in all the ways.  I'm deeply grateful for that!

OSU also had another exciting victory today - go Cowboys!

I missed it because I was watching the Avengers save the world (again) - my first theater movie since August 6th, a familiar gem that spurs so much Kingdom hope in my heart!

So today included a delicious chicken and waffle sandwich, a favorite movie in theaters, a FaceTime call from Kyndal, a butterscotch Icee, time with Mom and Dad, co-leading Lifegroup, and leading a good friend to Jesus!!  What a gift!

Also thankful for the identity-affirming gift of mentors who really believe in me, and for so many timely devotional emails as I gear up for a rebuilding season - God knows I need all of it - the internal rebuilding always comes before the external!

God is with you, and He is for you.

Hope you have a restful Sunday ahead!

❤ ❤ ❤

Thankful Thursday #245!

"My grace is sufficient for you,
for My power is perfected in weakness."
~2 Corinthians 12:10

Today, I am grateful to God for...

1.  A fun Tuesday with the fam at Kyndal Faith's last CHA home game for this season... thankful that Mom had the strength and energy to be there in person, thankful Kyndal played well, thankful we got some great pics, and thankful Jace's friends were extra-kind to check on Mom! ❤  (More pics from that and other recent events coming tomorrow!)

2.  Podcasts where seeing the title brings me joy before I even start listening, most definitely including these two... I love that The Curiosity Shop brings out my more academic side - normalizing intelligent conversations, evidence-based research, thoughtful/nuanced language, male/female friendships, and strengthening my professor/author/speaker dreams.  This time, Brene and Adam are talking with Angela Duckworth about her fantastic new Situated book that I'm in the process of finishing - so great!  Also love Annie and Eddie, always, and can't wait to listen to that one and learn more about her wedding details next!!

3.  Jaceman's love of basketball... and hearing him say, "Since I can't play football right now, I might as well focus on the sport where I can play all season!"  YESSSSS to that growth mindset and personal agency and leadership identity!!  Also VERY thankful for the doors God has opened through his great Discovery teacher this year - yay for Rach taking the initiative to talk with her, and yay for that teacher taking the initiative to make Jace's 8th grade year far more manageable!!

4.  Kyndal Faith's love of volleyball, and what her competence, recognition, and meaningful contribution in that sport have done for her leadership identity and sense of agency in all areas of life... (this is my main focus as I'm prepping for dissertation topics lately, so I'm kinda seeing it everywhere, and it's exciting!)

5.  Having an in-person meeting that gave me a reason to be fully dressed professionally for the first time in a while.  Also thankful for God's timing in hearing back from the OCC and MCC just minutes after I'd talked with Chet about feeling a little stressed that I hadn't heard from either of them. lol  Praying for continued guidance and that God would open the right doors and close the wrong ones!

6.  Annie F. Downs being on a full season of Candace Cameron Bure's podcast discussing the themes from her new book - loving it so far - their talk about rebuilding after something has been destroyed was powerful!

7.  I'm thankful to be in a rich, fertile season where my energy is actively being renewed and God is planting so many good seeds in my heart.  I am absolutely seeking Him more intentionally, and He is absolutely showing up!  Almost everything that I hear and read lately (Scripture, emails, music, audiobooks, podcasts, conversations with friends/family/mentors) has felt meaningful and alive, inspiring action and courage and Kingdom hope for brighter days ahead.  More on that soon enough, I'm sure, but I want to acknowledge that I'm thankful for God's almost-tangible presence in the aftermath of a pretty challenging season.  "I don't want to forget how I feel right now.  On the mountaintop, I can see so clear what it's all about.  So stay by my side when the sun goes down... Jireh, I am enough because You are enough." ❤

"The Lord will establish you... the world will see that you are a people claimed by the Lord" - yes, please!  IF YOU OBEY HIM AND WALK IN HIS WAYS.  And on a related note, I really appreciated this insight from John Eldredge's latest podcast:  "A strong sense of identity is not pride.  It's not biblical humility to avoid talking about yourself with esteem or dignity.  We are meant to be maturing and growing in a really rooted sense of identity.  Look at how Paul opens his letters:  'Paul, chosen by the will of God to be an apostle of Jesus Christ...'"

Also grateful for you, friends - thanks for stopping by, and I hope you have a delightful weekend ahead!!

❤ ❤ ❤

Don't Let That Hold You Back

*This = Post #500 on this Season 2 Blog!
Four of my favorite Christian female authors released a new book on Tuesday!!

I pre-ordered 3 out of 4, and I'll grab Lysa's soon too.  (I wanted these on my bookshelf, but I'll for sure listen to the Audible version.)

Yaaaay - thanks to Kristin for this reminder today!!

I'm preparing and planning for a job interview tomorrow morning, and this encouragement was well-timed - thanks, God!

I'm especially excited to read this one by my good friend, Annie F. Downs (who I've only met twice in person and who I'm guessing is now legally Annie Jaeger, which brings me lots of joy).  I also love that she got colorful shoes and nails to match her book cover - fun!

I've read the first two chapters thanks to the pre-order bonuses, and the message of this book feels like God's good and perfect timing for me...

Fun Fact:  One year and three days ago, I was in NYC watching Hamilton live on Broadway!  (A truly fantastic solo trip - and it gave me the courage to book the solo Alaska cruise.)  Yes, please, to knocking those fantastic experiences off my Life List!! =)

Two days later, I had the Dallas IVF appointment where I learned about the fibroids that eventually led to me letting go of the embryo adoption plan.  I've got to say, the enemy knows how to target overthinkers (and it's so easy to believe lies when we are vulnerable and hurting) -- my ability to reframe things can be a great blessing or a curse, and it is VITAL that I take my thoughts captive and submit to God's leadership, truth, and grace!

I'm thankful for good friends who could help me separate the light from the dark and see things more clearly when the path ahead felt foggy and scary.

I pressed the pause button on almost everything in that season, convincing myself that I had gotten the adoption pursuit very wrong and it was better for me to step back until I knew for sure that God was with me and for me in whatever I was stepping into...

But the truth is, I did a lot of things right in that season.  It was right and good for me to pray over that dream, step out in faith, put my best foot forward, trust God's goodness, and pursue motherhood wholeheartedly.  AND it was right and good for me to recognize the doors being closed, pray for wisdom, and learn to accept and surrender to God's leading in a new way.  Hard.  But not wrong; not missing God; not stupid, inadequate, or selfish.  God wasn't mad at me or disappointed in me over any of that, and I don't want to allow the enemy to steal or kill or destroy the good things God did in me and for me through that season.

God did not fail or abandon me then, and He will not fail or abandon me now.  Even today, I have to trust Him and be willing to step out with bold faith in pursuing new dreams, while also being willing to surrender to His leading even when it is hard or costly!!

I feel like I'm getting the chance to do both of those here lately as I step back into the CCU PhD pursuit.  It feels equal parts daunting and exciting in this moment - I've spent the better part of a year convincing myself that I'm not cut out for the counseling world and don't really belong there, but God has spoken so clearly lately that I cannot (and would never want to) ignore or dismiss it.  Praying for more of God's power and grace as I step toward His calling and purpose for me - which involves sticking with some things I would rather leave, and letting go of some things I'd rather cling tightly to!!

All that to say, I don't want to let anything hold me back from following God boldly, and I think Annie's book will be really encouraging on that front!

❤

Shifting gears, it made me (and Kyndal Faith) happy that Coach Nikki (the solid leader of the Rise Club VB organization) used her pic on the Instagram invite for club tryouts!!

"Do not be afraid as you go out to fight... Do not lose heart or panic or tremble before them.  For the Lord your God is going with you!  HE will fight for you against your enemies, and He will give you victory!"  YES, Deuteronomy - love this book!!  God is with us and bringing us victory over the enemy, but we still have an active role to play by going out to fight for the full life God wants to give us - I feel that as deeply as I've ever felt it in this season!

HBD to Kate on Tuesday (when I started this post - lol).  

Thankful for her example of resilient joy and for her friendship through the years!!

Okay friends, I am off to sleep in my very own bed for the first time since August 6th - exciting times!!

Very grateful that Mom is improving, and we decided it was better for me to start the day here for the morning interview.  Praying for good momentum, that God will open the right doors as I move forward with integrity and faith.

❤ ❤ ❤

Calling & Commitment

"Connection is the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued.  Never underestimate the power of BEING SEEN - it's exhausting to keep working against yourself when someone truly sees and loves you."  ~Brene Brown

Any fruit that ever comes from my future work in counseling, writing, or speaking, Dr. Burkhart will get some of the credit for it in Heaven.  The ripple effect of his Godly leadership is real, and I am SO GRATEFUL for his choice to really see, invest in, support, and exhort/encourage me.  My talk with him was the pivot point and the main reason I stayed in it when I was ready to leave the CCU Masters program in 2023, and he is now the reason I am surrendering the resistant side of myself to what God has been clarifying by sticking with the CES degree and charting a new course as a Colorado LPCC!

I sent him an email about a week before Mom's wreck explaining my situation and the desire to pursue the Liberty DSL degree... telling him I value his insight and would appreciate hearing any feedback or thoughts he had on that topic.  He did not say one negative word about Liberty (nor would I have expected that).  He said (paraphrased) "Liberty has a fantastic program, and I know they turn out a lot of great leaders...  (intentional pause looking at me...) and unfortunately, I can't hire them to teach here."  (Because a CES degree is a CACREP requirement for counseling professors, not because of anything about Liberty).  And that was the perfect clear, subtle, meaningful thing to say to me in that moment, and he probably knew that.  The rest of our talk that day was also good - he called me out on some of my small self-doubting comments and said he thinks I have a tendency to be very philosophical and think deeply about the things I hear, and he (correctly) thought I may have internalized some wrong ideas about myself related to the counseling profession.  He asked sincerely and wisely whether I loved the content of the Leadership course or the fact that I had a professor who really saw me and appreciated my work, and I answered honestly with both, expounding further on that.  

He told me he will cheer me on and write a very strong letter of recommendation for me if I feel sure this is the new direction where God is leading me, but that he wanted me to take a minute and be certain I am not walking away from counseling because I've made wrong assumptions or agreements that I am not cut out for it based on the fact that the path has been surprisingly difficult.  He said I am trying to bring light into a dark world and bring something functional into a profession that is somewhat broken and dysfunctional, and that is always going to be a hard road, and it's not because I am inadequate or in the wrong place, (but because Kingdom work is opposed).  He said he sees great potential in me to become an author, teacher, and speaker - that he would encourage me to get back on the horse and get my LPC hours if I decide to fight for this degree.  (And he emphasized again that there is no wrong decision here, and he didn't want me to stay in it for the wrong reasons either.)

But honestly, God had already spoken to me on July 28th (the Icy Strait Point whale watch excursion, Alaska cruise).  From that dramatically answered prayer to a series of daily Scripture emails from Chris Caine, it has been an incredibly clear and consistent message to stay the course and finish what I started at CCU, so I am diving back into it and doing my best to be wholehearted, set apart, and tuned into God's leadership in new ways!!  And part of that will include meeting more regularly with Dr. Burkhart to LEARN from him and help keep my vision and sense of identity/calling/commitment on track.  My respect for him is high, and he sees me and believes in me in a unique way that fuels my desire to become everything God intends for me to be!

In other news, re-reading this older post today was fascinating.  I wrote it three days before the appointment where I learned about the fibroids then gradually decided to let go of the embryo adoption dream.  And then, I took a year-long break from counseling and doctoral studies because I felt like I couldn't trust myself to hear clearly from God about anything.  But none of that is quite true.  The enemy was working overtime to kill, steal, and destroy what God was gradually building, but he will not get the last word in this story.  I'm thankful that we serve a God of hope, redemption, and renewal!  And after a year of being "offline" without a muted voice in the counseling realm, God is renewing that dream, and I am re-committing myself to *walk with Him* into a new era there as life moves forward!

(From my post on 9-12-2025:  A couple months back, John Eldredge warned that the enemy would be rolling out a new wave of death and despair... the death of dreams - the  temptation to lose heart, to despair... to give up, let things go, and quietly walk away from our God-given missions and callings.  And rather than cooperating with that by giving up or retreating from the fight (the pull toward that is stronger than usual right now)... our God-given role is to ENGAGE, to push forward, to shine, to be intentional in what God is uniquely calling us to do.

Where our spiritual enemy seeks to bring division, God's people are called to bring UNITY.

Wherever he is bringing death, we pray for and bring LIFE!!

He brings despair... we bring HOPE.

He brings chaos... we bring ORDER.

He brings anxiety... we pursue PEACE.

He pulls us toward sadness... we lean into JOY.

He dehumanizes... we lead with LOVE.

He brings darkness... we shine the LIGHT.

He assaults us with fear... we choose proactive FAITH.

He destroys... we RESTORE.

❤ ❤ ❤

(Also an appropriate message on this 25th anniversary of the 9-11 attack.  Jesus is still the light of all mankind, and His life, hope, faith, and love have the final word.)

Called According to His Purpose

On this first day of September, I am deeply grateful, and I am deeply tired.  I don't have it in me to write a catch-up post right now, but I'm sure that will come back soon.

These verses are catching my heart and guiding my steps this week...

"I am sure of this, that He who started a good work in you
will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."
~Philippians 1:6

"But He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you,
for My power is perfected in weakness.'"
~2 Corinthians 12:9

"Return to your fortress, you captives who have hope;
even today I am declaring that I will restore double to you."
~Zechariah 9:12

"Be sure to give to the LORD
the best portions of the gifts given to you."
~Numbers 18:29

"You must be holy because I, the LORD, am holy.
I have set you apart from all other people

to be My very own."

~Leviticus 20:26

"Those who are wise will shine as bright as the sky,
and those who LEAD many to righteousness
will shine like the stars forever."
Daniel 12:3

"I shall remain... until the time of the Harvest Festival,
for a wide door (of great opportunity for effective service)
stands open before me which demands great efforts,
even though many oppose me."

~1 Corinthians 16:9

Along with this song (How Great Thou Art acapella by Jennifer Hudson and Pentatonix - yes, please!) and these memories - (I was in Seattle one month ago today).

❤ ❤ ❤

Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness

Happy Tuesday, blog-reading friends!  I'm writing from Mom's room in the Burn & Wound Care Unit of the hospital, my home for this current work week!

I brought her here last Friday for her fourth (and FINAL) wound-vac change, and the PA quickly talked us into coming back on Monday for a skin graft surgery procedure - they said she could stay five days for better pain management, and it has absolutely been helpful so far!  It's not perfect, but we are very grateful for getting into the system here... for Dr. Lentz and Taylor (who did the surgery), and caring nurses Rose, Demarco, Stuart, Matt, and Jennifer!

This = Mom and I before her appointment Friday 

Fare thee well, wound-vac.  We shan't miss you! lol

(Really, I'm grateful it kept her healthy and infection-free.  But it made a consistent suction noise similar to snoring, and there were issues with leaks where the machine would beep at us and I'd have to try to put more tape over her wound to stop the air-leak hissing sound - most often between 3 and 5am.)

Thank you notes...

Adding Brandon and Whitney to the list - he called to check in on Mom, then they stopped by and brought flowers the next day

And Kim Love - she and Kenny made a surprise visit on Sunday bringing dinner and a variety pack of cookies! 

I was up past 2AM finishing my transcript on Sunday - partly my own fault because I had to come watch the last 30 minutes of A Few Good Men when I saw that it was on... such a fantastic movie!!

Roses from Brandon & Whitney

Transcript time - with approximately 500,000 important breaks over the past week. lol  But I got it done and filed in ALL TWENTY case numbers on Monday morning!!!

I spent Saturday morning and afternoon touring OKC and Edmond apartments with T-man!

We saw some good ones, including The Oak OKC and the Parc at Kelly Pointe

❤

I love blue in a kitchen... I'm a fan!

We stopped for a fun lunch at Shake Shack in OKC - new to me, and I'm super-thrilled about it!  

(Good shakes, burgers, chicken sandwiches, mac n' cheese, and fries with NYC travel vibes!)

This one was downtown called The Bower.  He ended up going with a fantastic apartment near Nichols Hills!  I co-signed the lease, and he is moving in on FRIDAY!!  I was excited when I realized that was 8-28 (as in Romans 8:28 "All things work together for good").

AFD and JW got married on August 21st - CONGRATS to them!

All the posts about this event made me happy!

Megan Elizabeth is pregnant with her first baby boy - this = her and Tim with her niece, Afton, at the gender reveal party!!

Natalie and Walker had an awesome trip to South Carolina - praying for continued healing and peace in their lives!

This = me hosting Zoom court yesterday and this morning in hospital waiting rooms... yay for doing whatever it takes, and yay for the Integris hospital WiFi working for me!

Mom and I watching K's volleyball game this afternoon - another CHA victory!

Yay for Rach setting up these videos for us - Mom is such a fan and would hate to miss a moment!

Miss K serving it up!

Random ceiling tile in Mom's hospital room (the rest are plain) - I'm curious about the story behind it.

The Parrishes brought Shake Shack to-go for Mom and I tonight ❤

Midway through two weeks of experiencing the ins and outs of two very different hospital systems, I have lots of thoughts churning about the importance of leadership, genuine care, and service, particularly in the healthcare arena.  

Related:  I have a meeting set with Dr. Burkhart tomorrow to help solidify my decision, but I am praying about moving into a new degree path with the Doctorate in Strategic Leadership at Liberty University (only because it is not offered at CCU yet).  My interests have gradually shifted more and more in that direction over the past few years, so I am praying for wisdom and God-ordained exciting and meaningful leadership opportunities!!

I am grateful this week for the doors God is opening and closing, for the big and little ways He is showing up.  Grateful for every friend, family member, and medical professional who cares enough to act on it.  Grateful to be needed and helpful for Mom, and happy to feel like I'm learning valuable things as I observe everything here.  Trusting in God's new-every-morning grace and mercy, giving me exactly what I need to get through day by day.  I'm grateful that my nervous system is gradually returning to a place of peace and a sound mind... and that Mom's body is stabilizing and making substantial healing progress with well-controlled pain (especially comparing it to the excruciating pain of her 2011 skin graft).  

For the most part, this hospital room is much quieter without constant monitors going off or the wound vac noise.  However, we are in the Burn & Wound Care center, and occasionally, we've heard the groanings of burn victims enduring painful medical care - which was very heavy and really upsetting for Mom this morning.  We both need permeating God-given peace and rest - mind, body, soul, and spirit - God is providing those things for us, along with regular reminders to pray and seek Him!  I am grateful for the slow down, while also feeling grateful for the reminders (Annie's wedding, Megan's pregnancy, Triston's move) that life goes on and there are better seasons and happier times ahead, (starting with Mom being able to attend football and volleyball games that bring her so much joy).  Between mentally decorating Chet's new living room shelves for Christmas and furnishing Triston's new apartment, Mom has had an easier time keeping her mind off of the pain.  I'm grateful she had an excellent doctor and that God is bringing life and healing in Mom's body, something we've prayed for together several times these past couple weeks.  Grateful for seasons of rest and recovery that lead us into renewed strength.  Grateful for simple things that make life rich and vibrant, for a new open door for the Leadership PhD at Liberty, and for the ongoing pursuit of happiness, peace, and purpose!!
❤ ❤ ❤