Photo Friday Fun!

Happy Friday, friends and fam!!  I hope you've had a lovely day, and hope it's a relaxing, rainy weekend ahead (at least for those in Oklahoma)!

Current mindset:

Yay, royal fam!  Because where else would I throw in these photos?

So grateful for Emily's insight and for the genuine connection/trust that lets me be more open and real with her than any past counselor!

After tonight's taco salad fam dinner (yum!) and playing a few rounds of Heads Up, here's Jaceman trying Mom's new ladder to help with Christmas decor!  And on the right is Rach's favorite football stance. lol

Tomorrow = 10 years in Heaven for Aspyn Jane, so Lindsay and Wavy took cupcakes to thank the police and firemen for their help that day, and they raised over $1000 for Aspyn Arrows baby monitor donations!! ❤  I know the grief is very real.  The resilience is too!

Sophie and Melanie and Travis hanging out at their live show in San Antonio! =)  Caroline's first book released last week, so she was there doing a book signing, as well.  Love it all!!

Mel Robbins' 143 Studios team celebrating her birthday (all wearing blonde wigs and black-framed glasses with a black shirt, her signature look). lolol

Yay for all my podcast franz! lol  I hope to join them in that world down the road!!

I'm keeping it low key at my place this year, but 'tis the season for early Christmas decorating at Mom's!  Check out the creativity and attention to detail on this bow and garland!!

The outdoor wreaths with twinkling lights + the JOYful kitchen during tonight's dinner!

Truth.

Carter Lee is #1 on the leaderboard for the Junior Rodeo World Championship in Steer Wrestling!  While my knowledge of that world is very limited, I'm proud of him for putting in the hard work to reach that goal!!

My sparkly/colorful headband collection makes me happy, and now I need to throw in a few more cute baseball caps, as Vivian prefers them for comfort and ease. lol

That's all for now - keeping it light and fluffy today.

Happy Friday!!

❤ ❤ ❤

Pedestals and Power

In the wake of my embryo adoption decision, I scheduled three follow-up sessions with Emily.

Potentially our most productive sessions thus far, so I am very grateful!

Yesterday, we discussed my tendency to put others on a pedestal... throughout life, I tend to choose one person who stands out to me as trustworthy then gradually view their opinions and feedback as more valuable than my own, seeking it out, and naturally assuming the slightly inferior role (whether or not they view themselves as superior).  This aligns with old anxious attachment insecurities, intense rejection history, and the Enneagram 9 tendency to merge with others and avoid conflict by minimizing my own opinions - I've been aware of most of that for a while.

But Emily asked how this pedestal tendency serves me, which was a new thought.

I immediately started laughing knowing what she meant.  As counseling students, we learn that our defense mechanisms and negative habits always serve some helpful purpose in our lives.  Otherwise, we'd have an easier time giving them up.  People often try to break these negative patterns without giving much conscious thought to why they chose to build and reinforce them in the first place.  It's worth consideration!

Anyway, the best I could come up with off the cuff was that I always view the person on the pedestal as strong and protective, and I greatly value protective strength.  And maybe I tend to assume the smaller/lower role because there is less responsibility there, and it does not require me to step up, decide, be strong, and/or lead as often.  It's self-protective and takes some of the pressure off of me.

Of course, that ties into the learned helplessness and conditioned apathy that I wrote about in my leadership class.  Situations where you care, but you have trained yourself to pretend you don't really care.  Or you know change would be very difficult, so you gradually give into the idea that you are powerless.  It was the first time I made the connection between feeling inspired to write about all of that during the leadership class, then very intentionally reminding myself a few weeks later that I am not trapped or powerless when I strongly identified with Gladys' miserable walk down the aisle in Gilded Age...  Which led directly into me closing the embryo adoption chapter and finally feeling peace about all of that.  No worries if you didn't follow all of that - I'm mostly writing it for my own future reference.

Honestly, embracing my own agency and power to choose and take action is literally the overarching theme of the last several years of my life.  I haven't done it perfectly, but every decision matters.  Sometimes, I naturally embrace the lesser role out of a false religious guilt that it would be ungodly to feel powerful.  But Scripture is pretty clear that God Himself gives us a spirit of POWER and love and sound judgment rather than timidity or fear!  We have a certain amount of power and authority in Christ, and God means for us to walk in it, not cower or play the victim.

Emily and I also talked about how when you put others on a pedestal, it makes you smaller.

Then we talked about the litany of mixed messages I have received over the past four decades about the value of being small versus the value of being strong.  I told her one of my favorite Peloton quotes was "Make yourself strong, never small!"  (And I'm 90% certain that small vs. strong line of thought will be the theme of my future book, because there is SO MUCH THERE -  mind, body, soul, and spirit!!)

That's all for today.  Yay, therapy! lol

Embrace your God-given power!

"For God did not give us a spirit of timidity or cowardice or fear, but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of sound judgment and personal discipline [abilities that result in a calm, well-balanced mind and self-control]."  ~2 Timothy 1:7

❤ ❤ ❤

Thankful Thursday #233

"Let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts,

for as members of one body,

you are called to live in PEACE.

And always be THANKFUL."

~Colossians 3:15

Today, I am thankful for...

1.  All the memes and reels that make me laugh, this meme and Rob Anderson's critique of Old Yeller being at the top of my list this week! lol

 I laughed way too hard about that!!  (For the record, must be legally single, within 1-8 years of my age, love Jesus, not have a hot temper, and not enjoy horror films.  That's literally my list, but you would think it was miles long for how difficult it is to find a match.  A potential matchmaking service quickly reminded me that there are loads of genuinely great guys who aren't Christians. I understand that, and to all of them, I say no thank you.)

2.  Kim (Rachel's mom) celebrating being cancer free and done with chemo!

3.  Mom's joy in CHA's Junior High football season... she loves the sport and so loves the playfulness and wannabe-toughness of boys this age! lol  (This = her with Jaceman, then her with TJ and Axel).

4.  However clueless I am about it, it's been fun getting to cheer for Jace with the fam!  This = a couple pics with Rach at his last game!

5.  Zana Lynn, a CHA friend from yesteryear, has started her own business called Mindful Resolutions, LLC, helping at-risk youth learn to regulate their emotions and find a compromise.  It's been a while since we've talked, but I'm proud of her and really happy to see her success here (and thankful for how it inspires me about what might be possible if I do my own thing with coaching)!

6.  As of two days ago, the new Chicken Salad Chick is open in Norman... fun!

7.  Hanging out with Miss Kyndal Faith, whom I adore!  She and her friends are at a great age, and it's been fun talking to them at J's football games!

❤ ❤ ❤

Home Sweet Home

Today marks three years since I moved into the "Taberhood," so happy home anniversary to me!!

For anyone who cares, working with Taber Homes was a fantastic experience from start to finish!  I love their design process (choosing from a few select options and upgrades - it was the perfect mix of making it my own without being responsible for designing every aspect of it), and they were very communicative and quick to work with us and fix a few minor things that went wrong.  This = our final walk-through a couple days before I moved in. =)

They also did several little things to make moving day feel even more special, and I very much appreciated that!  A care package with several random things you need during a move, welcome mat, red bow on the door, house keys, and champagne to celebrate (still unopened in my fridge, but it's the thought that counts). lol

Closing pic with Jordan (my realtor's son, who is also a realtor) + random moving day pics! The one broken dish was the only thing that went wrong, and it hasn't been missed. =)

The wonderful Wilson fam surprised me that weekend... look at baby Parker Elizabeth!  That helps mark the time for me. ❤

I got the pink moving truck... so fun!

Such a great house - love my kitchen!

And my living room!

And bedroom. =)

And navy mud bench!

Lunch at Slim Chickens (photo by Mom, who was also there). =)

Whitaker fam + me accidentally wearing the same shirt whilst decorating early a year later.

Hosting the fam Christmas Eve 2024!

Pic with the moose!

And hosting a Mockey Little Christmas Party in Moore, 2023 and 2024!

My only Taber complaint is that they don't yet exist in Tulsa.  I would absolutely go with them again if they did!  Anyway, that's all for today.  I love you and believe in you, and I hope you have a fantastic week ahead!!

❤ ❤ ❤

Everything Else

Happy Saturday!  I have a bit of homework to finish, but first things first: catching up on the blogging!

This afternoon was Week 1 of the Good Boundaries and Goodbyes study with my women's lifegroup.  This = Me, Ashley, Haley, Katie, Josie, Christi, Natalie, and her son.  

(Very funny to me that this Moore group also has a Natalie Reed and a Jennie Curran.)

Anyway, this illustration was on point... Lysa said there is always tension when we give people a high level of access to our heart, energy, and inner world who do not handle those things responsibly.  She said we often try to fix and control things by asking them to be more responsible/kind/compassionate, but we cannot change other people.  The thing we can control is our own boundaries and the amount of access we give them, making it match the level of effort and care they put into the relationship.

Pretty much condensed my 7-year former friendship into one little screenshot. lol

It was a fantastic reminder, and we had a good group discussion about that!

The presh mini-Miss K has been a volleyball star for five years already, with her entire junior high and high school years to come!  What a little preshface on her first team back in 2020!

Feeling this, but also just fully embracing it as hoodie season even if it's hot outside. lol

Aww, memories of when I had this much hair!  The hair loss post-weight loss surgery is very real.  Still worth it, and I believe it's coming back now, but thank the Lord for Halo Couture (aka Vivian) in the meantime!

Okay, stick with me on this one...

You know how people who have lost a good amount of weight sometimes talk about how they still see themselves as larger - the whole body dysmorphia thing where your brain tells you you are bigger than you really are.  Habit-wise, I totally get feeling pulled toward the old identity.  Image-wise, I kinda feel like I had that in reverse. lol  Like, I was interested in losing weight, but I genuinely felt cute and happy with my looks pretty regularly as a woman who weighed 250+ in all these pictures.  And it's only now that I sometimes think, "Wow, I honestly never realized I was that big" as I look back at certain photos.  Even now, I'm not skinny by any definition, but I feel good about the weight I've lost.  I'm a little more self-conscious about my looks sometimes now, but for the great most part, then and now, I think I tend to view myself as smaller and cuter than I might actually be, so I'm gonna just take that as a freaking win. lol

On a somewhat related note, I've spent my entire life being a single woman without much male interest or attention, but I have spent less time worrying about that dynamic than people probably imagine.  When I think about the vast unknown future, I don't like the idea of "being alone" as I age - but that's more about a mild fear of aging than being un-coupled.  On a day-by-day basis, I am usually aware of the company of Jesus.  I'm an introvert who has good quality relationships, and I very much enjoy living on my own and very rarely feel deeply lonely.  Maybe all of this is the Ennegram 9 in me finding ways to be unaffected by hard things?  Whatever it is, I'll take it.  Having zero experience to speak from, I'm still firmly convinced I would be an excellent supportive wife, so I may venture back into the dating world eventually, and I will absolutely continue to work on my health goals, but in the meantime, I am truly grateful that, as an admittedly overweight and long-term single woman, I mostly feel cute and loved! lol

Mmkay, back to present-day pics... thanks to Carter's game being rescheduled, we made a last-minute family dinner plan last night!

Friday night dinner at Ted's... Dad, me, and the Miss K, and all of our unused and unappreciated salsa! lol

This ice cream place is new to the shopping center with Ted's, so we ventured over for dessert, and I was delighted to see they had Cookie Butter ice cream!

Yay for the Jaceman's colorful Nike shoes! =)

Group pic on our way out + photobomb by the customer behind us! =)

Here's a cute pic of Teresa with her grandkids at her Hideaway bday dinner! ❤

Mmkay, I'll focus on finishing my homework now!  After all, the homoscedasticity and skewness and kurtosis and multiple regression analyses and scatterplots and Q-Q plots and collinearity statistics can't wait forever.  Persevering through it for now, but gracious, quantitative research is NOT my strong suit!!!

It's been just lovely to catch up with you here, and I hope you have a fantastic and relaxing Sunday ahead!

❤ ❤ ❤