Thankful Thursday #229

"Study this Book of Instruction continually.

Mediate on it day and night

so you will be sure to obey everything written in it.

Only then will you prosper and succeed in all you do."

~Joshua 1:8

Today, I am thankful for:

1.  This book.  The #1 book I would recommend as it's the #1 book outside the Bible that has changed the course of my life.  I reread it last week preparing for my presentation next week...

2.  On a very related note, I'm grateful for the many stories that demonstrate the positive impact a seasoned guide/mentor can have on someone's life and identity!   I love this topic, and I'm excited to create a video presentation on how it relates to counseling professors and their students + counselors and their clients!! ❤
**If you think of another good example of the guide/mentor from books, TV, or movies, please message me!! =)

3.  That Dad was celebrated well on his 72nd birthday, by his staff and family and friends!

4.  AFD and Edward V. Kaufholz, III. =)  I'm forever a fan of their friendship and so happy they're back to regular podcasting together!

5.  Dr. Ku, my Dallas IVF embryo transfer doctor, who is on Instagram as drknockedup, which made me laugh pretty hard this morning.  Our meeting early this week went well - what felt potentially catastrophic last week should only cause a minor delay either way, so I am grateful for his insight, sincerity, and medical care!

6.  PELOTON... after five great years, my membership expired on 7-27-25.  I did my final Intention Setting walk with Kirsten Ferguson on Friday the 25th.  I'm thankful for the rides, the laughs, the strength workouts, the walks and jogs, the yoga workouts, the stretches, the music, and the coaches who inspired me and made working out feel more accessible and so much more fun from the start of the pandemic to today!  At this point in my life and schedule, I  usually prefer outdoor jogs and listening to podcasts or chatting with friends, but I will always be grateful for the way Peloton shaped my life and my identity!  My "Board of Empowerment" would not exist without those coaches, and they walked me all the way through my first (and likely only) marathon!  I'm forever grateful for the way the Peloton coaches and community helped me experience the joy of movement and exercise!!
"Live, Learn, Love Well."  "Peace, love, power, and respect!!"  #lindseyclaire7  ❤

7.  A really good day of counseling yesterday!  I'm grateful to be building connections and feeling more hopeful and confident about this work, and for the reminder below that God's power to transform our lives and our world is abundant and infinite. His perspective and resources are unlimited, and He is happy to share with us. ❤

I love you and believe in you,
and I hope you have a fantastic weekend ahead!
❤ ❤ ❤

The Hard... Is What Makes It Great

As Jesus reminds His followers, “To those who use well what they are given, even more will be given, and they will have an abundance. But from those who do nothing, even what little they have will be taken away” (Holy Bible, New Living Translation, Matthew 25:29).  Even in the face of systemic problems that feel overwhelming and well beyond our personal ability to resolve, we have a God-given role.  When His disciples pointed out that the massive crowd was hungry and exhausted, Jesus answered, “You feed them,” giving them the responsibility to find and collect the available food, organize the crowd into smaller groups, and hand out the food He graciously multiplied (Holy Bible, New Living Translation, Mark 6:37-44).  As a Christian counseling professional, part of strategic planning is being intentional about upholding my values and ethics, resisting temptation and submitting myself to God’s authority, which calls for more proactive engagement and advocacy (James 4:7)...

My personal philosophy of leadership and advocacy begins with a God-given calling and the practice of personal integrity that sets committed believers apart.  In any leadership role I embrace, one of the most important factors will be upholding personal integrity and moral authority.  Based on that, I know there will be continued temptations to compromise, settle, or take shortcuts to reach my vision (Stanley, 2005).  Godly mentorship, collaboration, and accountability will be important safeguards for me as I move forward with this plan, one step at a time.  Implementing an action plan for advocacy is rarely simple or linear (Chang, et al., 2021).  It requires pressing through our fear and intimidation, making multiple revisions and adjustments, and celebrating our progress along the way (p. 91).

At this stage in my life and career, the biggest challenge before me is overcoming my own subtle cowardice and love of comfort, and wholeheartedly stepping into all that God has planned for me.  I wish that were a one-time heroic decision, but I am learning that it happens one surrendered step at a time.  As a professional counselor and future counselor educator and supervisor, I feel a sober understanding that my willingness to submit to God will impact every life I have the sacred privilege of influencing.  Serving as a counseling leader and advocate will undoubtedly require courage and intentionality, and it will hold foreseen and unforeseen challenges.  And what comes to mind as I reflect on that tonight is the quote from Coach Dugan in A League of Their Own, “It’s supposed to be hard.  If it wasn’t hard, everyone would do it.  The hard… is what makes it great” (Marshall, 1992).

Conclusion

This paper articulates my personal philosophy of leadership and advocacy, detailing a personal advocacy plan of action that aligns with my philosophy.  I am confident that the finest counseling leaders are set apart through their God-given calling and personal integrity, embracing a growth mindset, inspiring positive change, and serving through advocacy.  This philosophy is shaped by my theoretical orientation, supported by research literature and personal experience, and aligned with my future aspirations and Biblical values.  This paper also examines how conditioned passivity and perceived inadequacy negatively impact counselor advocacy, detailing a practical action plan and proposing strategies to overcome conceivable obstacles.  Our calling to serve as advocates can be thwarted by learned helplessness, emotional overwhelm, and apathy in the face of systemic problems and social injustice.  We are limited and finite, but we are not helpless, and we serve an all-powerful God.  Leadership and advocacy roles are vital for Christian counselors, counselor educators, and supervisors, and we must be bold and intentional about doing our part and trusting Jesus to multiply our efforts.

That's a small portion of the paper I wrote a couple weeks back.

Some good reminders for me today.

I very much want to live with a growth mindset.  Not the safe and small life, but the adventurous, expanding one.  That means when I feel like I'm not good at something, I focus on how I can learn and grow and improve (absolutely possible) rather than how quickly I can quit and retreat and change course.  Stepping into a new identity is challenging, and counseling feels complicated and messy and hard right now, but God has given me enough little breaks and enough clear confirmations to stay the course.  Even if circumstances change and I do not finish the LPC hours and/or the PhD program, my choices in this season will still count and MATTER to God (and to my self-respect and character).  God wastes nothing, and I trust Him!  And in the end, I believe it will be true that the hard is what makes it great.

❤ ❤ ❤

The Next Right Step

Hey, friends!  I'm praying for wisdom and clarity... Craig's sermon today was a good reminder that seeking God's heart leads us closer to understanding His will.  I'm on a good track there overall, but it's been a hard week, and I feel an increasing disenchantment with the counseling career path, and I'm uncertain about the next right step forward.

So pray with me for direction - for the strength to press forward or the courage to change course - whatever is most needed here!

Mom and I just had a good, long talk about all of the above, so I feel less inclined to write a crazy-long post and more inclined to rest and finish my dessert from Andy's. =)  

Here's a happy summer pic with Parker Elizabeth just so this post will have a photo! ❤

And a couple memes I've saved lately, because why not!?

Life rarely goes according to our original plan, 

but I'm confident God has good things in store!

❤ ❤ ❤

72

Today is Dad's 72nd Birthday!

I joined Mom and Dad for Life.Church and lunch (5 weeks in a row now).  We did a brunchy meal at All-American Diner today.  We ❤ breakfast food! lol 

I had a virtual counseling session at 2:00 and a potential-client consult at 3:15, then I joined the fam for dinner at Longhorn Steakhouse at 5:45!  Here's our happy table pic. =)

Mom and I got the $5 strawberry pecan side salad, which was pretty awesome and much more food than I'd expected!  We talked about how we love everything except the lettuce. lol 

Our waitress was pretty great, and they brought a complimentary b-day dessert for Dad!

Random guy outside offered to take our group pic, then he took 5 from different angles, so I applaud him for that!

The last half of the past week was discouraging and emotionally-heavy, so I'm very grateful that last night's walk with Kristin and most everything I did today felt light and happy!

Since we were a mile away from the new Andy's in Norman, we ended the day with some frozen custard!

This one makes me happy... at first, you could only see my dessert, so I told J to hold his ice cream up too, then everyone did it at once, and Rach (who doesn't care for ice cream) did a quick thumbs up! lol

Happy Birthday to Dad!!

❤ ❤ ❤

A Clear Path Forward...

So Dallas IVF was willing to let me do all the pre-embryo-transfer medical appointments here at OU. Sadly, OU was not willing to do that if I'm not using them for the transfer.  

So I called yesterday, and the DIVF nurse said (based on my cycle) that if I could come in today for the preliminary saline sonogram, ultrasound, and initial bloodwork, we would still be on track for a September embryo transfer (which has been my hope for a while).  And I said yes, please!  God worked it out for another CR to cover for me this morning, and I made it to their Frisco office by 1:30 (it's only a 2 hour and 40-minute trip from my house, and no scary Dallas traffic is involved).

These were the same tests they did in 2023 (HERE) where I found out I would need the hysteroscopy D&C surgery to remove the uterine polyp.  The nurse who did my first ultrasound today casually mentioned seeing some fibroids and measuring them, and my heart sank pretty hard when I heard that.  Confusion, irrational shame, irritation, sadness, etc. ran through my mind as I asked if that meant another surgery and potential delay... and she said Dr. Ku would have to look at it and talk with me later.

So during the predictably-complicated blood draw and the 20-minute wait for the saline sonogram, I was going back and forth between contingency planning/grasping for control and praying for good news... calculating the cost of various other options and feeling ready to call Rach on my drive back and see how serious she was about being a surrogate. lol 

Dr. Ku eventually came in and asked how I've been - I said I was feeling really discouraged after hearing about the fibroids.  He quickly told me that wouldn't necessarily be a problem, and that we would know based on the sonogram (a very quick procedure involving a in-color camera view of the birth canal and uterus - it put me in awe of God even as I was bracing for bad news).  As he finished that, he said, "Well, I have good news for you - we're done, and everything looks good to move forward!"

So after the walls and hurdles I wrote about on my last DIVF appointment, I'm very VERY happy and grateful to say that round 2 was a success!

I grabbed an In N' Out Burger to celebrate, then raced back to Moore for two counseling appointments tonight (an in-person intake followed by a virtual intake) - session #6 and 7 for me.

The exit on the way to Dallas IVF is "Legacy Drive."  Reading that made me happy, so I snapped a picture... then realized later that the mileage was at 7.7 (a fun little nod from God).  Also, as I was leaving, it told me to turn left out of their parking lot, and it's a pretty busy street right there, so I assumed I'd end up going right then turning around... but right as I drove up, there was a very clear opening on all sides... and in my heart in that moment, it felt like such a clear metaphor for God opening new doors.

Having said that, I obviously have no idea if this will all result in me having a baby, but I do firmly believe God is at work and that He will work things out for my good and His glory, and I'm so thankful to even have this opportunity to try for a pregnancy with my adopted embryos!

❤

On my drives down and back, I listened to the remainder of Ashley's incredible book, thanks to Speechify, an app that read the PDF to me in Gwyneth Paltrow's voice!  (Snoop Dogg was also an option, but that would've been such a wrong fit for Ashley's writing. lol)  I will 100% slowly read and enjoy the physical book when it arrives in the mail, but this was the best way for me to absorb the content with my current schedule.

I also had a good talk with Mom and Kristin on the drive back, and with Chet Lee on the way there - this new pic from his summer branding session makes me happy.

My sessions tonight went well - I'm gradually feeling more comfortable in this role.  Then I have 3 clients tomorrow, some homework to finish on Saturday, and Dad's 72nd birthday on Sunday!  And that's really all I've got for this post.  My emotions did such an intense down-and-back-up swing during that appointment - I feel truly relieved and grateful that I get to move forward here!  (Prayers appreciated.)

I love you and believe in you, and I'm confident God is with us and for us, clearing new paths as we seek His best for our lives!

❤ ❤ ❤

High Expectations and High Support

On this day last year, we did poster presentations at Residency 3. I remember feeling very nervous while answering a few thoughtful questions from Dr. Burkhart (Dean of the Counseling program). That afternoon, I made the most of an opportunity and talked with him about the possibility of teaching at CCU someday. A short conversation, but I was encouraged by his response. That night in my CCU dorm room, I started my application for their PhD program!! …I am currently in his Leadership and Advocacy class, and what I’m learning is transforming my perspective and identity. He talked recently about leading with intentionality and heart, giving your full attention in every conversation and understanding that seemingly small interactions can have a major impact. I see that clearly as I look back at my few talks with him and the effect they had on my life. I’m thankful God led me to CCU 3 years ago, and I’m so grateful for Godly leaders who serve with integrity and put their heart into leading well and letting people know they matter!! Praying for wisdom and continuing growth as a leader - I’m honored to be learning from the best!

(-My Facebook post from yesterday)

My 2024 Poster Presentation with Joy and Tessa

*My first and perhaps most important interaction with Dr. Burkhart was in February of 2023, emailing him with a pressing ethics question.  I was legit ready to leave the program, but he responded with kindness, support, and an invitation to meet and discuss it - during our Zoom meeting, he told me the world needs people like me, Christian counselors who care enough to wrestle with the hard questions - it was validating and sincere, and it kept me going.  His video feedback on my papers in the first 3 weeks of this Leadership class has been incredibly encouraging, as well!  So all around, I'm grateful for his leadership and intentionality, and for the small shifts in my perspective and writing style that are helping me grow and improve.  His "high expectations and high support" motto makes so much sense, and he's living it out and inspiring me to do the same!

"One of the hardest things you, as a PhD student, have to do is learn how to shift your writing from a very appropriate, very academic supportive stance to a substantiative stance.  As a Masters-level student, you are likely very comfortable with taking a supportive stance of what another author has already said - responding to the citations - the citations are driving the knowledge and content.  Very appropriate for Masters-level writing; not as appropriate for doctoral-level writing. You are the expert.  You are a person who's earning a doctoral degree, so you are making very authoritative statements and claims.  You are teaching us, then you are using sources to support what you're saying... If you make this shift now, your academic literature from this point forward as a PhD student will be 1,000 times better... Something can’t show up until it’s been stored up.  Hang in there.  My goal for you is to be the best writer that you can be after you leave this course.  I want you to be a better leader, a better researcher, better supervisor, better educator, better writer.  I want you to think differently.   I have seven weeks with you, and I want to push you as hard as I can, but I want you to know that I am doing that because I actually care.  I actually care about where you wind up and what you take away from this class.  So stick with me.  Allow me to stretch you a little bit.  I am 100% here to support you… My motto when it comes to teaching classes is: High expectations and high support!  I think high expectations with low support is inappropriate, and I think low expectations regardless of support level is inappropriate.  If you walk away from any class I teach and you’re the same writer, you’re the same student, you’re the same clinician, then I’ve failed.  To some extent, it’s also on you, but just know that that’s my intention.  I want to push you; I want to challenge you.  But it’s being done with the hope that you’re walking away different after this class.  I think that’s what you’re spending money and time and emotion on – not just to get through this class, but to get through this class successfully and be different at the end of it, to have grown and developed in a certain way.  So I’m here if you need anything.  I really hope that my video feedback on your papers is beneficial to you.  But again, guys, if you want to meet, let me know.  I’m always here.”

~Dr. Ryan Burkhart, Dean of the School of Counseling

“In our current societal landscape, we find ourselves facing numerous challenges that contribute to cultural instability, family breakdown, and a lack of trust in governments, the judicial system, and the media... At the core of the issue of meaninglessness and purposelessness we see in our society lies a lack of trust in absolute reality and a rejection of ultimate and universal truth.  While it is valuable to listen to each person’s story, our society has rejected the grand narrative presented by God.  A factor that has been missing in the treatment model has been the integration of the spiritual component.  We know well that relying solely on these secular techniques falls short, as they merely produce individuals who are symptom free.  This outcome fails to provide a foundation of dependence on the Lord, salvation, and sanctification.  Consequently, individuals may find themselves free from symptoms, yet still bound by the chains of sin and pain.  As counselors and counselor educators of Christian faith, we have an opportunity to impact the broader culture for Christ… we must seize opportunities to bring about change in our communities, schools, workplaces, institutions, research, and the entire field of counseling through our Christ-centered servant leadership and advocacy efforts.  Our influence should extend beyond the confines of a therapy room or a classroom or university.  This needs to infiltrate the front levels in our profession.  Just as Jesus went into the world, so should we, impacting lives through our knowledge, compassion, and the hope found in Jesus Christ.  May our efforts as counselors and counselor educators reflect the love and grace of the Lord as we strive to bring healing and wholeness to those entrusted to our care."

~Dr. Selin Philip, Founder of the PhD Program

(These quotes are from short videos they made for this class - I so appreciate being able to learn from them.)

In God's Hands

Hey, friends and fam!  It's been a whole week, which is rare for me.  I'm in a pretty awesome new season with a very full schedule... and I'm confident God is expanding my capacity and giving me the daily grace I need to navigate these current roles well!

• Adoptive Mom:  Signed the contracts to officially adopt 2 living-but-frozen Snowflakes embryos (on 7-18-25 - YAY!!), writing a thank you note to the placing parent today, and navigating next steps and medical appointments moving forward!
• Counselor:  My part-time role with Integrated Therapy Solutions - embracing the intense learning curve with the Milan electronic records system, submitting treatment plans and progress notes, attending weekly supervision meetings, and counseling 2 continuing clients and 4 new clients this week!
• Court Reporter:  My secure and steady full-time job - interesting Preliminary Hearings, scoping transcripts, covering court for other Judges with the current CR shortage, and enjoying the feeling of established competence and the accrued leave and benefits here!
• Doctoral Student:  Writing discussion posts and leadership papers + Zoom classes and group meetings + preparing a conference presentation (all without the help of AI, thank you very much! lol)!
• Individual:  Returning to regular church attendance, listening to great audiobooks, blogging as needed, and developing a solid morning routine for daily workouts and time with God!
• Relational:  Maintaining strong friendships in Tulsa, cultivating new friendships in OKC, daily talks with Mom, weekly family dinners, and weekly walks with Kristin!
• Extras:  A 10-hour Trauma Focused CBT training (online - started it Friday) + helping on Ashley Campbell's book launch team (YAY!)

I also believe God will help me narrow that list a bit by the end of this year, which helps me dive deep and invest faithfully in the meantime.  It helps that I believe every bit of the above is fruitful -- I'm planting good seeds, and God will decide what grows from it!  For now, I'm working on not using the words scattered, fragmented, or divided when I talk about my attention span.  Instead, I'll say God is teaching me and growing my capacity for leadership and giving me what I need day by day.  I am learning to trust His timing and doing my best to be intentional about focusing on one role at a time, shifting my full focus as needed to engage in all the things that matter to me!! ❤

Okay, so about the book launch team... I'm about 1/3rd of the way through my pre-release copy of Ashley's book and loving everything about it so far!  Not a surprise - her writing has always been poignant, and the stories and pictures from their family trip around the world are captivating!  (It's also inspiring the writer side of me - I love this reminder that a book can be anything you want it to be.  Every page of her book is filled with family photos or pictures from their trip - somehow, I didn't realize that was an option, but it's fantastic, and it's changing how I want to format my future book!!)

The best!  Loved following their trip in real-time via Instagram, but seeing it all in one book now - along with Ashley's insightful reflections and a page written by each of her kids and Chris - is freaking awesome!!

Here's my beautiful niece, Miss Kyndal Faith, enjoying her new blonde highlights this summer!  Love her, and I was happy to see this front-facing smiley profile pic!! lol

Yesterday would have been Grandad's 96th birthday, although I'm confident he's forever young now in Heaven!  I'm thankful for his life and the way he loved us!

Last Friday was a Tulsa trip for CFA lunch with the wonderful Wilson fam, a hair appointment with Janelle, and an impromptu stop at Tulsa Lexus for an oil change - gracious, the Tulsa one is just so much better than the Edmond branch!  In spite of the lack of color on their showroom floor (Mom would not approve!), it was nice to be back! ;-)

This and chapter 107 are speaking to me lately.  This one talks about God's commands being trustworthy and true, to be obeyed faithfully and with integrity... reminding us that "the rewards of wisdom come to all who obey Him."  And Chapter 107 repeatedly shows people royally messing things up then crying out to God for help, and He repeatedly rescues them in their distress.  Both are encouraging chapters that apply to my life in different seasons!

This was the Verse of the Day when I had to write a paper on advocacy and was internally resisting that whole topic.  All the suggested topics were causing me to shut down, so I ended up writing about that emotional response, and specifically about overcoming the conditioned passivity and learned helplessness that often hold us back from getting involved in potential political conflict and/or serving as professional or social justice advocates.  It was personal and intense, and over the past couple weeks, I spent literally 17+ hours researching and writing that 12-page paper.  However, the grades and the feedback videos from Dr. Burkhart made all that effort feel very worth it!  (Something I'll keep in mind if/when I'm a professor down the road.)  I'm VERY grateful for his encouragement and the growing confidence I feel there.  Anyway, I used this verse in my paper as evidence that God wants us to grow in our role as leaders and advocates, to keep learning new ways we can help others and fight for those who are vulnerable!  And it's true - leadership doesn't have lasting impact if you're not actively serving others and using your God-given position, skills, and influence for good!

Finally, here's a pic from the Shoemakers' moving day two weeks ago - the Wilsons coming to see them at that house one last time.  I miss them already!

Okay, that's all I've got for now... headed to a meeting about the new electronic/recording system they're installing in our courtroom, and looking forward to family dinner tonight! ❤

Thanks for being here!  I love you and believe in you, and I believe God will give you all the grace you need for the roles He has placed you in TODAY!  He gives us new grace one day at a time, just like the manna for the Israelites, and our lives and futures are secure in His hands! 

❤ ❤ ❤