November Blog Challenge

1.  Write about a moment that changed the way you see yourself or the world.

2.  What is one misconception about mental health you feel called to correct?

3.  Describe a small, seemingly ordinary moment in your life that turned out to be a defining scene in your story.

4.  You’re stranded on an island and can bring three items—what are they and why?

5.  Write about a season when your faith or worldview guided you through something challenging?

6.  What has court reporting taught you about people and human nature?

7.  What lesson keeps resurfacing - and why might God be repeating it in your life?

8.  If you could visit any moment in history—or your own past—for one day, when and where would you go?

9.  What’s a story from your life most people haven’t heard but reveals something important about who you are?

10.  Describe a time you stepped outside your comfort zone and what you learned.

11.  If your life were a metaphor (e.g., a race, a garden, a song, a book), what would it be and why?

12.  What song best captures your personality or current season of life, and why?

13.  What’s a personal quality you’re proud of that others often notice?

14.  In an alternate universe, what does your life look like?

15.  What dreams or goals are stirring in your heart for 2026 and beyond?

16.  What has counseling taught you about people’s resilience and inner strength?

17.  If you could rewrite one scene from your life, what would you change - or would you keep it exactly as it is?

18.  You can invite three people (living or dead) to dinner. Who are they, and what would you serve?

19.  What is one truth or principle God is teaching you right now?

20.  What are five small things that never fail to make you smile or brighten your day?

21.  If your life were made into a movie, what is the title and genre, and who would play you?

22.  Who are three people who have had the greatest impact on your character?

23.  What is one quote or verse that has deeply shaped how you live or think?

24.  Which TV or film character’s journey reminds you of your walk with God, and why?

25.  If you could wake up with one superpower (serious or silly), what would it be and how would you use it?

26.  What movie or show do you return to again and again, and what comfort or truth does it offer you each time?

27.  Write a prayer of thanks for this year’s blessings, challenges, and lessons.

28.  What’s something you’re surprisingly good at that most people wouldn’t guess about you?

29.  What activity, place, or experience makes you feel most like yourself?

30.  Reflect on this year’s spiritual theme — what word or lesson has shaped your journey?

*Writing prompts courtesy of my close personal friend, ChatGPT. lol

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Photo Friday!

Happy Friday, my friends!  Happy Birthday to Holly Dei, Happy Halloween to those who celebrate the cuter side of it, and Happy last day of October!  Huzzah!!!

Okay, so first off, I was sad to hear that Blossom Bariatrics is closing soon (November will be their final month for surgeries, then they will stay open into early 2026 to care for those patients).  They listed rising costs, the growing impact of weight loss medications, and an oversaturation of bariatric clinics among the factors behind that decision.  Several past clients are now posting gratitude notes and success-story photos, and it's been uplifting and inspiring to see those!

The depression/shame cloud is lifting.  I am still working toward my goal weight and feeling ever-more determined to reach it, but I've come a long way since summer 2024, and I am very grateful to Dr. Apel (pictured above) and the team at Blossom in Vegas for the life-changing jump start on this continuing health journey!!  They were the only clinic I found that offered the fast-tracked surgery date and the safe-sleeve process, and that was vital for me in signing up! ❤

In other news, I feel like I had a real breakthrough with school this week...

I'm in a qualitative research group where our project is interviewing CCU professors about their experience teaching with a trauma-informed approach.  I got to interview two of my former professors - both women with great answers and powerful life stories.  I realized looking back that both of them taught me during Spring 2023 when I nearly left the master's program.  It was a gift to connect with them again, and one of them gave me some great advice on choosing a dissertation topic...

Me:  We've been talking about it, like, what do we want to be known for?

Dr. R:  Nooooo.  No, that's too much pressure!  You want to be known as "Doctor."  You can figure the rest of it out and do (slower) in-depth research on things you're more passionate about later. lol

She encouraged me to think about the populations I have access to for research surveys (Tinker military, tornado survivors, attorneys, court reporters, CHA students, etc.) and to seriously consider quantitative research, noting that it makes reporting the results much more clear, quick, and simple!  That convo inspired me to work harder in my quantitative class, and on our most challenging week so far, I felt like I understood the concepts and completed everything on my own in better time than I'd expected.  Anyway, life opens up when you do.  And when you honor God, He honors you.  So I'm very grateful for all of that, and looking forward to my meeting with Dr. Burkhart next Monday!!

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A couple pics from family dinner and game night this Wednesday!

This = Kyndal Faith and I being totally gridlocked in a very strategic game of checkers! lol

Didn't know that could happen, but here it is.  We started over, and she won fair and square.

Earlier that day was the CHA Patriotic program!  It's my favorite of CHA's programs (as it's the only one that changes regularly), and it was Kyndal's final one (she's in 6th grade, and it's elementary only).  They did a family dinner play where she was the daughter.  She told us she got permission to write her lines on an index card on her plate, so I grabbed a photo of that after the program! lol  She also asked the teachers if they could remove the candles so they wouldn't block people's view of them - when we realized it was the very thin taper candles, we all got cracked up by that!  Maybe she was thinking of the scrapbook photos and not wanting anything in the way.  She's the very best!! lol

I cried (like, real tears rolling down both sides of my face) during the armed forces tribute.  They sing the songs of each military branch, and the parents and grandparents who served stand up when their branch's song is sung.  That one hit me extra hard this year, and I was not doing well. lol

Failed to get a photo, but Kristin and I met for a fun lunch at La Madeleine yesterday!  (Frankie is out of state at a 2-week training for his new job, so we did lunch instead of walking together this week!)

I watched the Swiped movie with Lily James about the founder of Bumble (an ex-Tinder employee who hated the way that company treated women).  That inspired me to try Bumble again.  One of my first match suggestions was a married couple clearly looking for a third partner.  I was quick to screenshot it when I realized it said, "Things we have in common: Christian."  Threesome on Saturday, church on Sunday - that's pretty much the absurdity level of the world we're living in, though. lol

Anyway, I'll let you know if something more promising comes along on Bumble.

Something random I've spent a stupid amount of time on lately is watching people's reactions to Taylor Swift songs - Terry & Kaniyia's reels are my favorites - so entertaining for Swifties!!

Now I'm off to throw on my graduation gown (yay) and warm Gryffindor scarf (thanks, Kristin), then meet Rach and Kyndal for a girls' night of trick-or-treating at Gaillardia! =)  (Jaceman is at a football game with TJ & friends.)  It feels like the end of the year always moves more quickly, but I'm very happy to be moving into November, and psyched to find out the gender of future baby Wilson tomorrow!  I'll be doing a 30-day writing challenge here, just for fun and to mix up the topics a little.  Hope you have a fun night and a peaceful weekend ahead!

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Embrace the Partial

I think about this song often.

In a slightly comical way with my mindset toward food.

In a less comical way about my own marriage potential.

And lately, just quietly wondering about what will truly bring me fulfillment in life...

I'm reminded of this verse, which I've loved for a very long time:

"Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity.  All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely."
~1 Corinthians 13:12

I LOVE the reminder that God sees me and loves me and knows me completely, especially since I feel genuine confused about what I want and what's best for me half the time. lol  I also love the reminder that earthly life feels "partial and incomplete" for EVERYONE - I'm not alone or unique in that inner void, and there is not some vital thing I can do or attain that will truly and finally "fix it."  The nature of sin is ever-increasing, so anything we turn to in idolatry or addiction patterns will never ever be "enough."  Marriage will never be enough to complete us.  Motherhood will never be enough to fulfill us.  A fantastic job will not be enough.  Great health, strength, beauty, degrees, vacations, money, security, political power - all fleeting and never enough to last and completely fulfill us.  Even our experience of God's presence, close friendships, and church community will never be enough here.  "ALLLLLL THAT I KNOW NOW is partial and incomplete."  All of it.  John Eldredge has helped me to view those things -- the best things I experience here -- as a glimpse or a preview of what life will be like in Heaven.  That perspective helps me so much right now.

"The temptation when you're in it with disappointment, loss, and unrealized dreams is to shut part of your heart down and pack it away.  We give up on relationship because it is partial.  We give up on friendship because it is partial.  We give up on work or on our calling because it is partial."  ~John Eldredge

Nothing less can satisfy us.

I have been working so hard to pursue big dreams over the past 3-4 years, and in the deepest part of me, I feel a growing disappointment and disenchantment with all of it this year.  And what I've really needed was the above reminder that it is all intended to be partial, even at its best.  Single motherhood would never have been perfect.  Married motherhood isn't either.  Even in the best and most God-honoring marriages.  Weight loss doesn't make life or health perfect.  Court reporting will always fall a bit short of being fulfilling for me.  Counseling work will usually fall short of the genuine connections and pay range I desire.  I can choose what I want to prioritize moving forward, but I would do well to remember that every human being alive is dealing with something that makes their life imperfect, partial, and incomplete.  And that's okay and normal and expected - that's the part I really need to hold on to!!

I fully believe that action is better than being stagnant, and we can (and should) experience a lot of love and gratitude and joy and wonder here!  However, there is no meaningful goal -- not one -- that will make our lives feel whole and complete.  And that's oddly comforting to me in this pivotal moment, because it takes the intense pressure off of me.  It means I am not failing at life, and God is not failing me.  I'm feeling the deep ache of wanting what is only available for me in Heaven, the sting of "the partial."  And I'm reminding myself to re-anchor my soul in the hope of knowing Jesus and spending eternity with Him, not in any earthly hope that I can muster up and push for here.

I appreciate this chart, but believing we can find lasting "bliss" if we only find the perfect job role for ourselves is false hope.  We should make the effort to find work we enjoy and live lives that matter and help others, but nothing will always be perfect.  The hero's journey does not end in bliss, but in setting new goals and keeping a right perspective.  Life is messy, and perfection will not arrive for any of us unless or until we meet Jesus face to face, which is a big relief to my perfectionistic mind and longing heart.  It's not on me.  Perfect relational connections, perfect health and beauty, and fulfilling work are all coming later.  For now, we can "embrace the partial" and make the most of the time, energy, and wonderful people God gives us to love here!!

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Shifting gears, please be praying for my Aunt Marilyn, who had a stroke last Tuesday.  Her speech and facial movement are improving, and she is being moved to a rehab facility today.  This = the Texas Muecke fam last Thanksgiving, with Marilyn and Gus on the right!

She's next to me after our Red Robin lunch here:

And keep my Aunt JoBug (LaJo) in your prayers also - she had a bacterial infection/virus that caused some A-Fib issues and resulted in her heart being shocked back into the sinus rhythm last Friday.

Things that feel very true right now:

Life is fragile, and sometimes it's really scary and hard.

People are resilient, and love is healing.

Everything we know and experience here is partial and incomplete.

There are far better things ahead than any we leave behind!!

My PeiWei fortune cookie promise... I have lots of dreams and a lot to look forward to, but it all feels a bit vague and distant right now.  I'm in a mild grief and transition season, so that's okay.  There are better things ahead, here on earth and in Heaven!

"So prepare your minds for action and exercise self-control. Put all your hope in the gracious salvation that will come to you when Jesus Christ is revealed to the world."  ~1 Peter 1:13

I love you and believe in you,

and I pray that this Kingdom hope reminder was helpful today!

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Photo Friday Fun!

Happy Friday, friends and fam!!  I hope you've had a lovely day, and hope it's a relaxing, rainy weekend ahead (at least for those in Oklahoma)!

Current mindset:

Yay, royal fam!  Because where else would I throw in these photos?

So grateful for Emily's insight and for the genuine connection/trust that lets me be more open and real with her than any past counselor!

After tonight's taco salad fam dinner (yum!) and playing a few rounds of Heads Up, here's Jaceman trying Mom's new ladder to help with Christmas decor!  And on the right is Rach's favorite football stance. lol

Tomorrow = 10 years in Heaven for Aspyn Jane, so Lindsay and Wavy took cupcakes to thank the police and firemen for their help that day, and they raised over $1000 for Aspyn Arrows baby monitor donations!! ❤  I know the grief is very real.  The resilience is too!

Sophie and Melanie and Travis hanging out at their live show in San Antonio! =)  Caroline's first book released last week, so she was there doing a book signing, as well.  Love it all!!

Mel Robbins' 143 Studios team celebrating her birthday (all wearing blonde wigs and black-framed glasses with a black shirt, her signature look). lolol

Yay for all my podcast franz! lol  I hope to join them in that world down the road!!

I'm keeping it low key at my place this year, but 'tis the season for early Christmas decorating at Mom's!  Check out the creativity and attention to detail on this bow and garland!!

The outdoor wreaths with twinkling lights + the JOYful kitchen during tonight's dinner!

Truth.

Carter Lee is #1 on the leaderboard for the Junior Rodeo World Championship in Steer Wrestling!  While my knowledge of that world is very limited, I'm proud of him for putting in the hard work to reach that goal!!

My sparkly/colorful headband collection makes me happy, and now I need to throw in a few more cute baseball caps, as Vivian prefers them for comfort and ease. lol

That's all for now - keeping it light and fluffy today.

Happy Friday!!

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Pedestals and Power

In the wake of my embryo adoption decision, I scheduled three follow-up sessions with Emily.

Potentially our most productive sessions thus far, so I am very grateful!

Yesterday, we discussed my tendency to put others on a pedestal... throughout life, I tend to choose one person who stands out to me as trustworthy then gradually view their opinions and feedback as more valuable than my own, seeking it out, and naturally assuming the slightly inferior role (whether or not they view themselves as superior).  This aligns with old anxious attachment insecurities, intense rejection history, and the Enneagram 9 tendency to merge with others and avoid conflict by minimizing my own opinions - I've been aware of most of that for a while.

But Emily asked how this pedestal tendency serves me, which was a new thought.

I immediately started laughing knowing what she meant.  As counseling students, we learn that our defense mechanisms and negative habits always serve some helpful purpose in our lives.  Otherwise, we'd have an easier time giving them up.  People often try to break these negative patterns without giving much conscious thought to why they chose to build and reinforce them in the first place.  It's worth consideration!

Anyway, the best I could come up with off the cuff was that I always view the person on the pedestal as strong and protective, and I greatly value protective strength.  And maybe I tend to assume the smaller/lower role because there is less responsibility there, and it does not require me to step up, decide, be strong, and/or lead as often.  It's self-protective and takes some of the pressure off of me.

Of course, that ties into the learned helplessness and conditioned apathy that I wrote about in my leadership class.  Situations where you care, but you have trained yourself to pretend you don't really care.  Or you know change would be very difficult, so you gradually give into the idea that you are powerless.  It was the first time I made the connection between feeling inspired to write about all of that during the leadership class, then very intentionally reminding myself a few weeks later that I am not trapped or powerless when I strongly identified with Gladys' miserable walk down the aisle in Gilded Age...  Which led directly into me closing the embryo adoption chapter and finally feeling peace about all of that.  No worries if you didn't follow all of that - I'm mostly writing it for my own future reference.

Honestly, embracing my own agency and power to choose and take action is literally the overarching theme of the last several years of my life.  I haven't done it perfectly, but every decision matters.  Sometimes, I naturally embrace the lesser role out of a false religious guilt that it would be ungodly to feel powerful.  But Scripture is pretty clear that God Himself gives us a spirit of POWER and love and sound judgment rather than timidity or fear!  We have a certain amount of power and authority in Christ, and God means for us to walk in it, not cower or play the victim.

Emily and I also talked about how when you put others on a pedestal, it makes you smaller.

Then we talked about the litany of mixed messages I have received over the past four decades about the value of being small versus the value of being strong.  I told her one of my favorite Peloton quotes was "Make yourself strong, never small!"  (And I'm 90% certain that small vs. strong line of thought will be the theme of my future book, because there is SO MUCH THERE -  mind, body, soul, and spirit!!)

That's all for today.  Yay, therapy! lol

Embrace your God-given power!

"For God did not give us a spirit of timidity or cowardice or fear, but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of sound judgment and personal discipline [abilities that result in a calm, well-balanced mind and self-control]."  ~2 Timothy 1:7

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Thankful Thursday #233

"Let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts,

for as members of one body,

you are called to live in PEACE.

And always be THANKFUL."

~Colossians 3:15

Today, I am thankful for...

1.  All the memes and reels that make me laugh, this meme and Rob Anderson's critique of Old Yeller being at the top of my list this week! lol

 I laughed way too hard about that!!  (For the record, must be legally single, within 1-8 years of my age, love Jesus, not have a hot temper, and not enjoy horror films.  That's literally my list, but you would think it was miles long for how difficult it is to find a match.  A potential matchmaking service quickly reminded me that there are loads of genuinely great guys who aren't Christians. I understand that, and to all of them, I say no thank you.)

2.  Kim (Rachel's mom) celebrating being cancer free and done with chemo!

3.  Mom's joy in CHA's Junior High football season... she loves the sport and so loves the playfulness and wannabe-toughness of boys this age! lol  (This = her with Jaceman, then her with TJ and Axel).

4.  However clueless I am about it, it's been fun getting to cheer for Jace with the fam!  This = a couple pics with Rach at his last game!

5.  Zana Lynn, a CHA friend from yesteryear, has started her own business called Mindful Resolutions, LLC, helping at-risk youth learn to regulate their emotions and find a compromise.  It's been a while since we've talked, but I'm proud of her and really happy to see her success here (and thankful for how it inspires me about what might be possible if I do my own thing with coaching)!

6.  As of two days ago, the new Chicken Salad Chick is open in Norman... fun!

7.  Hanging out with Miss Kyndal Faith, whom I adore!  She and her friends are at a great age, and it's been fun talking to them at J's football games!

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Home Sweet Home

Today marks three years since I moved into the "Taberhood," so happy home anniversary to me!!

For anyone who cares, working with Taber Homes was a fantastic experience from start to finish!  I love their design process (choosing from a few select options and upgrades - it was the perfect mix of making it my own without being responsible for designing every aspect of it), and they were very communicative and quick to work with us and fix a few minor things that went wrong.  This = our final walk-through a couple days before I moved in. =)

They also did several little things to make moving day feel even more special, and I very much appreciated that!  A care package with several random things you need during a move, welcome mat, red bow on the door, house keys, and champagne to celebrate (still unopened in my fridge, but it's the thought that counts). lol

Closing pic with Jordan (my realtor's son, who is also a realtor) + random moving day pics! The one broken dish was the only thing that went wrong, and it hasn't been missed. =)

The wonderful Wilson fam surprised me that weekend... look at baby Parker Elizabeth!  That helps mark the time for me. ❤

I got the pink moving truck... so fun!

Such a great house - love my kitchen!

And my living room!

And bedroom. =)

And navy mud bench!

Lunch at Slim Chickens (photo by Mom, who was also there). =)

Whitaker fam + me accidentally wearing the same shirt whilst decorating early a year later.

Hosting the fam Christmas Eve 2024!

Pic with the moose!

And hosting a Mockey Little Christmas Party in Moore, 2023 and 2024!

My only Taber complaint is that they don't yet exist in Tulsa.  I would absolutely go with them again if they did!  Anyway, that's all for today.  I love you and believe in you, and I hope you have a fantastic week ahead!!

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