Final Books for 2025!

1.  SPSS Survival Manual: A Step by Step Guide to Data Analysis Using IBM SPSS by Julie Pallant -- My statistics textbook - riveting, as you might imagine!  But I learned some new things, and I'm officially done with math courses forevermore at the end of this week -- HUZZAH!!

2.  How to Do the Work: Recognize Your Patterns, Heal from Your Past, and Create Your Self by Nicole LePera -- Read this three years ago and revisited it recently based on Emily's recommendation since it has some great content on calming and resetting your nervous system! ❤

3.  It Doesn't Have to Hurt: Your Smart Guide to a Pain-Free Life by Dr. Sanjay Gupta -- He was on Mel's podcast, and he is good at explaining medical things on a relatable layperson level.  This book has great evidence-based insight on how our mindset affects our pain tolerance and experience of physical pain.

4.  Keep Sharp: Build a Better Brain at Any Age by Dr. Sanjay Gupta -- Again, strong medical content that feels accessible for the average reader... with relevant lifestyle changes and medical tests that would be helpful for anyone dealing with cognitive decline or hoping to prevent it.

5.  Collective Illusions: Conformity, Complicity, and the Science of Why We Make Bad Decisions by Todd Rose -- my favorite book of 2025, found through Mel Robbins' podcast!!  The author researched how our false assumptions about the majority opinion quietly shape our decisions and our culture.  He argues that most of us hide our preferences and conform in an effort to belong, chasing goals we do not really value and reinforcing systems most people do not believe in.  This drives political polarization and personal dissatisfaction, not to mention the issues it creates within the church... and this book is a roadmap for questioning the perceived norms, speaking honestly about our true values, and building healthier environments where AUTHENTICITY replaces conformity!

6.  The Lion and the Bear: A 100-Day Guide for Facing Your Giants by Caroline Shankle -- A solid devotional book intended for teens and college girls... I was excited to support Caroline's first book (Melanie's daughter from the Big Boo Podcast), and I wanted to listen to it before giving it to my niece as a bonus Christmas gift! =)

7.  That's a Great Question, I'd Love to Tell You by Elyse Myers -- Another first-book effort I was happy to support!  I always enjoy Elyse's reels and the way she shares her personal stories with vulnerability and humor, and this book was sweet and fun.  I appreciate the stream-of-consciousness-style storytelling, and it was nice to learn more about how she and Jonas (her husband) first met.

8.  Hiring for Attitude: A Revolutionary Approach to Recruiting Star Performers.. by Mark Murphy -- Did not love this one - maybe because it felt outdated and a little condescending, or maybe because the author used the phrase "brown shorts" approximately 100,000 times when I'd have preferred "workplace culture" or "company values."  I understand the general message of "prioritize hiring people who share your core values," but I did not love the way it was delivered.

9.  Great by Choice: Uncertainty, Chaos, and Luck - Why Some Thrive Despite Them All by Jim Collins -- Loved this one, found through Craig's Leadership podcast.  Another research-driven book (yay for thinking ahead on dissertation ideas) where they compared the performance of several top companies and analyzed the main qualities that led to 10x greatness: fanatic discipline, evidence-based creativity, and productive paranoia.

So that officially wraps up my reading list for 2025.  The 40 books pictured below + my annual re-read of Atomic Habits, for a total of 41 books at age 41 - YAY!  A happy accident this year, but one I will be intentional about continuing!! =)

Seven of this year's books were re-reads from past years,
but of the books that were new to me:

Gold = Collective Illusions

Silver = I've Never Been Here Before

Bronze = Here Be Dragons

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3 Parties in 3 Days!

And last but not least, today was Mom and Dad's Christmas party for Dad's Fantasy Football crew, our long-time family friends... the Wallaces, Minnichs, and Lemieux fam! ❤  Three Christmas parties in three days this weekend... all fun times and good crowds and an abundance of great food... and now I'm genuinely looking forward to healthier eating through the week ahead!

This = Ty, Clint, Rach, me, and Michelle (aka the kids of yesteryear) =)

Kingston and Jaceman!

Bill & Jill!

The Fam!

Bob and Terry!

Wallace Crew!

Pic with Kyndal Faith in her "Sleigh Girl Sleigh" shirt! lol

Wallace boys and Muecke girls!

A quick look back at the 1980s, 1990s, and early 2000s... birthdays, Sea World, San Antonio, Beverly Hills, and Clint's wedding at 9121. =)

Group pic... everyone but Rick made it for this event (he was home with a migraine).

'Tis the season for extensions, apparently. lol  This = Autumn (red) and Michaela (copper/brown), my new hand-tied hair extensions by Janelle on 12-5-2025... I think I'll be very glad to have them through the Christmas season and Disney trip and birthday season ahead!

And on this day last year (12-7-2024) was Vivian's first public appearance at Mission BBQ with the Wilsons after Parker's ballet! =)

After that dinner, I drove straight to Rachael's house, where she curled that Halo hairpiece for me to use in my first and only legit photo session the next day... YAY!!

GRACIOUS - I'm tired.  Outside of two Tulsa parties and today's family party, I finished some intense stats homework, recorded a school presentation with my qualitative research group, processed deep thoughts, and wrote three party-recap blogs! ;-)  Thirteen weeks down, one to go for this fall school semester!  This weekend has been rich and full, and I'm grateful!!

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A Very Bougie Christmas

Saturday night was Chet Lee's 5th Annual Bougie Charcuterie Board Christmas Party, his favorite event of the Christmas season!! ❤

Chettles decided to make the entire kitchen island a grazing board... it was a hit!!  He prefers the fancier cheeses, but I was very happy that this year's board included some easy grab-and-go cheese cubes and slices... yes, please! =)

The fruit tree! =)

Sushi platters, courtesy of Debbie - also a hit, just not in my world! =)

Dessert boards, including Little Debbie Christmas tree cakes!! lol

There was also puppy chow and fruit dip and great punch and hot chocolate and tea!  The Wilsons do such a great job putting together this fun party every year!!

As per usual, Chet was busy hosting and helping newbies feel comfortable, so we caught up after the party.  Chettles is a natural connector who befriends everyone he meets, so this yearly event includes his neighbors, church friends, new pastor, coworkers, lenders, clients, dentist, Chick-Fil-A friends, and the usual core friend group!

Leasa from Chick-Fil-A, aka Chet's mobile office. lol

Tree pic with the fabulous Foster fam before they left!

New piano player this year - she didn't take requests on the Christmas carols, but she played fantastic background music like the Home Alone song and Where Are You Christmas and other movie gems!

Christmas carols... always entertaining and cute!  We sang without booklets this time, so we were struggling and Googling the words for some of the verses. lol

It was a drill weekend for Steve, so he and Sarah arrived around the time Don and Kantrell were leaving... but I insisted on this photo since they all had on bright red sweaters with sparkling Chrstimas lights! lol

Bill and Melissa brought the kids back home toward the end of the night... I was so happy to see them again, and they were thrilled to get some fun snacks and see everyone for a bit!

Stephen took our annual friend trio pic... cuteness!  He had the phone up nice and high, then wordlessly started to bring it down to a far less flattering angle, and Chet and I both said "No" in unison. LOL

When I wasn't snacking in the kitchen, I spent quality time at the dining table laughing and talking with the Fosters, Myers, and Bradleys... then that group left and the Fultons arrived, so I caught up with Sarah and Steve for a while (getting updated on David's hospital drama and other family and school stuff).  This is a kid-free event, so when all the parents had gone home, it was the Iwanagas; Chet's neighbor, Mark; myself; and the Wilson fam!  Here's the final pics with Paul and Stephanie and the Wilsons (this photo was by Tate)!  It made me happy that Stephanie and I both went with our bling jeans for this bougie soiree! ;-)

Stephanie set her phone up on a timer, resulting in some cute selfies of the kids! lol

And a fun group shot that included all of us!!

All in all, it was a very fun party with lots of great food!!  My favorite quote of the night came from Jon Foster - Jessica was talking to Kantrell about how she has to be more careful about what she eats because her metabolism has changed since she was in her mid-20s, and Jon chimed in with "Pretty sure my metabolism changed when I was 8!"  lol  Kantrell and I quickly joined him in lamenting that we've really never experienced the lovely high-metabolism life, but kudos to those who did!!

"Mini-wave in celebration of ME!" lol ;-)  
(This is courtesy of Steve not paying attention to my fun photo prop.)

Mmkay, that's all for this post!

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"These are a Few of My Favorite Things"

Friday night was Kelly Marie's "Favorite Things" Christmas Party, a fun girls night pajama party with a really cute gift exchange!  JEM was mostly hanging out upstairs watching movies with Ellie, but I got a Christmas tree selfie with him and Kelly right as I came in - yay, Moss fam! ❤

There were 19 women total - a great crowd - several who were new to me, but a few I've known for several years!

Ellie Faye was tired and uninterested in being in a photo, so we tried a selfie that cropped her out. lol

Each of us brought 3 unwrapped gifts - one of our favorite items in the $15-$20 range... there were cozy blankets, nonstick pans, Dawn powerwash, mascara, seasonings, coffee, journals, books, snacks, moisturizer, scented candles, geometry towels, perfume, and more!  I went with Write the Word journals and a fun glitter pen... but one didn't show up on time, so I substituted a cute copy of Little Women, one of my fav books!

There was the classic naughty and nice drink options (reminiscent of the Convivial Cozy Christmas parties!!)

And so much great food, including the awesome slider sandwiches, chips and dips, bundtinis, brownies, cheesecake, cookies, fudge, fruit trays, and more!!  

We drew numbers 3x for the order to choose our three gifts... I was #1, #3, and #13, which felt very Swiftie-themed and fun!  I grabbed a cute pic with Jessie on my way out while holding my new blanket, balsam fir candle, fuzzy socks, and new mascara! ❤

This was a fun and creative Christmas party idea, and it was nice to catch up with a few old friends and meet some new ones!  I'm grateful for the invite and for Kelly being a great party hostess!!

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Marble Jars and Kingdom Hope

What. a. Preshface!! ❤

She was so proud showing me how she could write her name - YAY, every letter was exciting, and I applauded her!  She even threw in a faux-cursive signature under the print... coming back in dramatically to dot her i's, so it must have been her middle or last name. lol ;-)  I like that she took her time and alternated pink and purple markers and drew blanks for all her letters before filling them in.  I also like that they had been home all day, but she chose to wear her fancy Christmas dress around the house! lol  She's the very best.

This = Tate showing me the origami section he liked in The Highlights Book of Things to Do, then showing me several paper hats and cups he had already made following the book's instructions! ❤

Childhood me would have loved this book - anything with unique/random facts or creative, kid-friendy project ideas was interesting and fun to me!  I bought it a few years back, along with some great Christian books, as gifts for my future child/children.  In the process of reorganizing my home and paring down my book collection -- and in the aftermath of letting go of embryo adoption -- I decided it was healthier to let those books go too.  I donated loads of my recently used books to Goodwill, but I gave all the children's books I'd been saving to the wonderful Wilson fam, knowing they read to their children and have two young kids and one on the way... and it made me really happy to see Tate enjoying it!!

Him in his Santa hat with his origami hat collection and her on her tiptoes in her fancy Christmas dress -- I just really love them both, and I am infinitely grateful for my friendship with their family. ❤

As I left work on Thursday, I got an unexpected email from the GoFundMe account for Kristen Harriss.  Her parents were writing a final message to sincerely thank everyone who had donated and to share that the support meant a lot to them and to Kristen, in spite of things not turning out the way we all had hoped.  They also explained that there was a small surplus of money that they would be donating to a children's charity in Kristen's name, as kids were always near and dear to her heart.  That hit me hard, as did the idea of this being their first Christmas without her.  The holiday season always amplifies things (the joys and the struggles), and I'm feeling some lingering sadness and heaviness and maybe a bit of fear about the idea of not becoming a mom and what that means for me moving forward.  Praying for Jesus to catch my heart on that, and reminding myself to appreciate all the beauty that is present now.

The Wilsons are high on that list for me - I joined them for dinner before Kelly's Favorite Things Party on Friday, then saw them again for Chet's favorite party of the year tonight!

I got some quality time with this mini-BFF, Parker Elizabeth, on both days.

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Brene Brown uses a marble jar metaphor for trust, saying that as relationships develop over time, we add marbles to the jar as people prove themselves trustworthy, and we subtract them when people hurt or betray our trust...

"When we think about betrayal in terms of the marble jar metaphor, most of us think of someone we trust doing something so terrible that it forces us to grab the jar and dump out every single marble. What’s the worst betrayal of trust? He sleeps with my best friend. She lies about where the money went. He/she chooses someone over me. Someone uses my vulnerability against me (an act of emotional treason that causes most of us to slam the entire jar to the ground rather than just dumping out the marbles). All terrible betrayals, definitely, but there is a particular sort of betrayal that is more insidious and equally corrosive to trust.

In fact, this betrayal usually happens long before the other ones. I’m talking about the betrayal of disengagement. Of not caring. Of letting the connection go. Of not being willing to devote time and effort to the relationship. The word betrayal evokes experiences of cheating, lying, breaking a confidence, failing to defend us to someone else who’s gossiping about us, and not choosing us over other people. These behaviors are certainly betrayals, but they’re not the only form of betrayal. If I had to choose the form of betrayal that emerged most frequently from my research and that was the most dangerous in terms of corroding the trust connection, I would say disengagement.

When the people we love or with whom we have a deep connection stop caring, stop paying attention, stop investing and fighting for the relationship, trust begins to slip away and hurt starts seeping in. Disengagement triggers shame and our greatest fears - the fears of being abandoned, unworthy, and unlovable. What can make this covert betrayal so much more dangerous than something like a lie or an affair is that we can’t point to the source of our pain - there’s no event, no obvious evidence of brokenness. It can feel crazy-making."

~Brene Brown, Daring Greatly

This helped me, and for those who have experienced this form of betrayal, I hope this quote helps you feel less alone or irrational in the middle of your pain.  It HURTS when someone you love disengages and gradually pulls away, and you typically know it long before anyone outside the relationship notices anything is wrong.  I have been guilty of this myself at times as well as being on the receiving end of it.  It's the passive-aggressive and cowardly choice, and I hope to choose courage from today forward.  Don't play games or just hope someone gets the hint, but be honest with people if you're upset with them or you want to redefine the relationship.  Be hot or be cold, but don't be lukewarm.  That's my free advice for the day. :)

~Blog excerpt from August 2014 Lindsey

I saw Brene's video (below) on that topic this morning, which inspired me to find that old blog post.  It goes along with a lot of my deeper thoughts and what I'm seeing/experiencing with friendships lately.  Disengagement is a low-level, lazy form of betrayal, and staying engaged is a high-level, intentional way to let your people know they matter.  Showing up, showing interest and excitement, genuinely caring... it matters every time!

And on that note, Chettles is a proven and trusted "marble jar friend" for me, and I'm thankful for the big and small ways he consistently shows up for his family, friends, neighbors, and coworkers.  

Fun fact: These pics are exactly 15 years apart.  Joining the ridiculously early morning Today Show crowd in NYC December 2010, then a random pic with the Thunder-Chet sign his neighbor brought tonight! lol

Final subject change:  While catching up with Paul and Stephanie, I mentioned that I would likely be moving back to Tulsa sometime in the next couple years.  Paul quietly said, "I remember why you moved down there - how is the adoption journey going for you?"  It was really kind, and it caught me off guard.  I cleared my throat and stammered out a slightly awkward but sincere "Thank you for asking" before briefly explaining that my pursuit of embryo adoption had ended after medical issues complicated things.  They truly understand, and we moved on to other topics without much issue, but I was genuinely glad that he asked and showed interest.

So as I sit in my beautifully cozy, quiet home and process this first week of truly fun Christmas parties and good conversations and ramped-up grief emotions and soooo much talk about family and children and new year hopes and dreams, all of the above feels like a very solid reminder for me to keep my heart anchored in Kingdom hope.  We have a heart designed for the unending family-style connections and redemptive joy and lasting purpose that will. be. ours. forever. in the Kingdom of Heaven, and all the lovely things we experience here will always be partial and incomplete by comparison.  So make the most of all the joy you are given here, but let your heart find rest in the firm and secure Kingdom hope we have through Christ!  The best is yet to come, truly.

 

In the meantime, remember that your presence matters - disengagement is a form of betrayal - show up for the people you care about, for the people who have been there for you!

Okay, friends!  I'll keep it lighter and post fun party pics tomorrow!!

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