Day 364

Hey friends, I hope you're having a lovely penultimate day of 2025!

Here's a random throwback pic of Rach and I icing sugar cookies 20 freaking years ago. =)

My 2025 Recap from ChatGPT was interesting... them throwing in a silver sequin gown as if that's been a big part of my daily life (bc of the popular Christmas portrait prompt) definitely made me laugh!

It's okay for you not to know.  It's not fun, but it's okay.

Christmas Eve dinner with the fam, 2021 and 2025!  I like that if the Saltgrass table were round, we'd be in the exact same spots both years. =)

This feels true and keeps me going when I feel ready to just burn it all down. lol

In other news, I had my first day at the new job yesterday!  I spent the morning in an HR Onboarding training for new hires, which meant getting our computers and ID badges and learning about the different departments in the OCC.  It was me, two Administrative Law Judges, and 3 Dept of Transportation guys.  Then Amy (the Court Admin who is also a CR) and Andrea (my manager and another CR) took me out to lunch at Ted's Tacos and Cantina, a cute mini-version of Ted's Cafe Escondido -- fun!  And we spent the afternoon getting to know each other and getting me set up with access for Zoom.gov, Teams, Outlook, Laserfiche, Workday, etc.  Other than carrying my heavy machine around all day for no real reason, it was a really great first day!  The Apple sticker over my Dell laptop from the OCC made me laugh. lol

Today = day one of working from home... yes, please!  They had assigned me a random transcript to slowly practice on, then the attorneys ended up calling and wanting it expedited today, so that was a fun first-day challenge! lol  I assumed I wouldn't be filing any transcripts for them until 2026, but it makes me happy that I made $364 in this final transcript on the 364th day of the year.  My bedroom mirror needs to be dusted ASAP, but yay for getting to be in comfy clothes all day!

Four computer monitors, two keyboards and mouses, my steno machine setup for realtime writing, headphones and a foot pedal for transcription, and all the cords organized and working properly - let's freaking go! lol

So the new job is off to a great start - I genuinely like my coworkers and think it's cool that I'll be managed by CRs who understand this work - I am loving my home office setup and believe this flexibility will be awesome - I did well and felt appreciated and made good money today - everyone in my family is generally doing well, and we had a pretty fantastic Christmas - I have a 4.0 GPA in my doctoral courses thus far and successfully co-authored a chapter of a textbook during my busiest school semester in life to date - Annie and Eddie are planning more fun shows together in 2026 - I've subscribed to Southern Living magazine for lots of fun episodes with Melanie and Sophie ahead - I'm looking forward to a Disney trip with the Wilson fam and a Dallas trip to see Mel Robbins live and an Alaska cruise with Beth Moore and her team - people who care about me have been kind - I believe my embryo adoption decision was the right one - I get to see my Tulsa friends in a couple days for Chet's Polar Bear Plunge event - and I am genuinely grateful for all of the above!!

And yet... I'm *also* feeling a vague sadness, some low-level anger, and what I'm going to call a fear-of-future-loneliness that's been hard to shake.  I watched two new-to-me movies this week that I thought would be light and cheery, but they both held some heavy scenes of grief and loss.  I'm feeling unsure about how to move forward and very tempted to believe none of it matters, (which I know to be false and dangerous ground).  I listened to John Eldredge's year-end podcast tonight advising us to pray over the past year and the year ahead, taking stock of all God has done for us and in us and through us, confessing specific sin that comes to mind, inviting Jesus into the memories that feel frozen in time, grieving our losses, praying for wisdom and counsel for the year ahead, and intentionally consecrating our hopes and all that lies ahead in 2026 to God - re-consecrating our mind, body, soul, and spirit to be submitted to His will and purpose.  So I'm planning to take that very seriously and take some quiet time to pray through all of the above tomorrow on the final day of 2025.

Happy New Year's Eve Eve, friends and fam!  I love you and believe in you, and I sincerely hope that you finish well in 2025 and have a richly beautiful, God-honoring 2026 ahead!!

❤ ❤ ❤