Standing in the Light

I shook hands with my old habits, let them tell me I belong.

They said, "Freedom is a rumor that only fools chase long."

But I heard a different whisper underneath the noise and doubts,

Something soft and steady saying, "Son, I'm not done now."

My past kept flashing headlines like it wanted me to read

Every sin I ever hid came begging on its knees.

I said, "Lord, I'm tired of running, tired of wearing borrowed skin

Tired of confusing punishment with discipline.

If freedom's just a rumor, let me die trying.

If grace is really real, then let it find me where I'm lying."

That's when the knocking turned to pounding

Like a war outside my chest.

Every lie I'd ever loved came dressed up as a test.

They said, "Remember who you were and how you always fall."

They said, "You'll crawl back here by night; you're nothing after all."

But faith don't always shout; sometimes it barely breathes.

Sometimes it shakes and stutters while it still believes.

I said, "I don't feel holy.  I don't feel strong or clean,

But I'm standing in the doorway of the man I'm meant to be!"

I started laying down my blues, every lie and every crutch...

Turns out hell hates exits, and it hates when you don't look back.

I felt forgiveness hit me like I a weight I couldn't bear,

Heavy like an honest truth I wasn't ready to declare.

But I carried it with tears, and every step was new.

Freedom isn't flying; it's learning how to choose. 

So knock if you want to.  I hear you through the door.

But I've been to the bottom, and I won't live there anymore.

I know the sound of mercy, and I know the sound of change.

And I've finally learned the difference between conviction and shame.

Demons knock harder when you're almost free,

When the chains feel loose and the light starts finding me.

They don't kick the door when you're already down.

They wait till hope's breathin', and then come around.

They whisper my past like it's all I'll be,

But grace stands louder saying, "You belong to me."  

So let 'em knock till their knuckles bleed.

I'm standing in the light, and I'm learning to believe.

I'm not who I was, and I don't have to be.

Demons knock harder... but I'm finally free!

(Not sure who to credit with writing this song, nor who truly sings it... the comments have assured me it's not really Chris Stapleton.)  Either way, these lyrics are powerful for me, so I wanted them documented here.  Happy almost new year, gang.  I'm fairly certain I'll write one more post before the day is over!

❤ ❤ ❤