Island Items & Phoenix Leadership

Day 4 - You’re stranded on an island and can bring three items—what are they and why?

Hahaha this is never a question prompt I would choose for myself - my mind goes dark way too fast. lol  I would need it to be a tropical paradise with abundant, safe-to-eat food easily available - in that case, the answer below might actually fit, substituting a pillow or tent for the knife.  If there are (predictably) scary bugs, dangerous animals, dangerous people, excessive sunlight, lack of safe food, and lack of shelter there, then I'm a very short-timer no matter what I bring.  With my fair skin and hypervigilant mind, it just would not end well.  I mean, I can't even explain how quickly I would deliberately take myself out of Survivor or Amazing Race.  So I'll just let ChatGPT answer this one for me...

Knowing you, Lindsey — thoughtful, faith-anchored, and practical — I’d imagine your answer might blend spiritual grounding, comfort, and resourcefulness. Here’s how I think you might answer:

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If I were stranded on an island, I’d bring:

1. My Bible – because I’d need truth, comfort, and perspective more than ever. God’s Word would remind me that even in isolation, I’m not alone, and it would keep my mind and spirit anchored in hope.

2. A journal and pen – to process my thoughts, prayers, and lessons from the experience. Writing helps me find meaning and maintain emotional clarity, even in uncertainty.

3. A multi-tool (like a Swiss Army knife) – something practical for survival: cutting, building, cooking, or opening coconuts. I’d want to use my creativity and strength to make the best of the situation while trusting God for provision.

Lolol a much better and stronger answer than where my mind first went. ❤

...In other news, today is my 17-year friendiversary with Laura Allison - we met on Election Night 2008!  I'm grateful for lots of great memories together, and praying for health, strength, and peace for her as she continues to recover from surgery last week!

I met with Dr. Burkhart yesterday afternoon, and it was such a good conversation.  He understood everything I've been feeling and seeing lately, and it was oddly validating and helpful to hear him say the counseling profession as it stands today is gradually collapsing - (a sad reality, but at least I feel less overwhelmed and alone in it).  He said it will take "phoenix leadership" to rise up and rebuild it - of course, my mind went straight to Order of the Phoenix - I LOVE that concept and that phrasing, and I was so encouraged to hear him talk about all of that!  He said he loves this profession for what it can be, not for what it has currently become.  And he gave me some solid advice on how to move forward if becoming a CCU professor is my goal!!  Super grateful for these conversations and for his honesty and leadership!

This day two years ago was the final Bedlam game in Stillwater... such a fun memory with Kristin and Frankie, and I'm really thankful I got to be there for it!! ❤

Love this so much! lol

If all goes as planned, we have a misdemeanor jury trial starting this morning, so I'm taking a minute to write a quick blog before I leave for work.  Now I'm off... I hope you have a wonderful day ahead!!

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Not a Coincidence

Day 3:  Describe a small, seemingly ordinary moment in your life that turned out to be a defining scene in your story.

'Twas New Years Eve 2008, and I decided to host a Lifegroup NYE party at 522.  I thought a photo scavenger hunt would be fun, and for reasons unknown (probably me wanting to look impartial), I put Bobbi in charge of delegating the groups.  I mentioned to her that Laura Allison was new and didn't really know anyone but me, and she whispered, "Gotcha, I'll take care of it!"

Then she promptly divided us into 4 or 5 groups, putting Laura in her group and placing me with the random BFFs from Sand Springs that had only come one other time for our Christmas party on 12-17-2008, one Chet Lee Wilson and Sarah Elizabeth Heiskell (now Fulton). ❤

In spite of being directionally challenged and not really wanting to drive strangers all over Tulsa, I didn't really trust either of them to drive my car.  Aww, the irony.  I felt like the odd man out, and all I saw when I looked at their friendship was what me and Josh once had, so I was doubly irritated as we all left the house together. lol

Of course, I ended up having fun with them that night - it's pretty hard to avoid that when you're with two classic ENFPs.  Chettles became one of my favorite Diving Deeper Lifegroup friends soon afterward - (by July, my family was changing our summer vacation timeline so I could be back for his 21st birthday), and Sarah and I made a deep connection over FB messages before building a strong real-life friendship.  Now 17 years later, it's pretty clear to me that God knew what He was doing all along! ;-)

Relationships matter deeply to me, and I'm grateful for these long-term friendships.  And for our gun-play photo shoot that still brings me joy! lol  Honestly, there are loads of little moments where I can look back and see God's providence and plan at work in my life, but this one stands out right now.

Seventh post in four days - kudos to anyone keeping up with all this! lol

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Reality at All Costs

One of my favorite quotes on mental health:

"If you're depressed, if you're anxious,

You are not weak.  You're not crazy.

You're not a machine with broken parts.

You're a human being with unmet needs.

We need to talk less about chemical imbalances
and more about the imbalances in the way we live.

This problem goes deeper than biology,
and the solutions need to go deeper, too.

We are the loneliest society in human history.
Your depression is not a malfunction; it's a signal...
Your depression is telling you something.
With the right help, we can understand these problems,
and we can fix these problems together."
~Johann Hari, TED Talk

As a mental health student, client, professional, and leader, one common mental health misconception that I feel called to correct is the idea that people who seek counseling are somehow "crazy" or “trainwrecks” or that their lives must be falling apart.  FALSE.

Carelessly-placed negative labels can be so damaging, and I consistently wish people were more cautious with their words.  God reminds us that our words hold the power of life and death -- to uplift and heal, or to dehumanize or devalue hurting people.  

The stigma I mentioned above is harmful and unfair.  Many adults who seek counseling are emotionally mature people who value personal growth over personal comfort.  Maybe they're working toward a better future or seeking to change harmful patterns learned in a dysfunctional family system.  And yes, some clients are truly in crisis - maybe they are legitimate victims of neglect, abuse, sexual assault, or other trauma, and they need safety and support and healing before they can move from a victim mindset to a thriving survivor mentality.  Not broken or weak, but people (who are created in God's image and deeply loved by Him) with unmet needs.  Changing our habit patterns or learned identity is incredibly difficult work.  It's also deeply valuable, and seeking support through counseling shows healthy self-awareness, humility, strength, and courage!!

Another myth I would love to correct is the idea that any strong negative emotion is a sign of poor mental health.  FALSE.  As M. Scott Peck wrote, “Mental health is the dedication to reality at all costs.”

That means experiencing the full range of emotions and responding in a balanced, healthy way to whatever you are facing in the present moment.  True mental health is not about trying to convince yourself everything is fine when you're hurting.  Sadness, anger, and grief are all part of a mentally healthy life.  We do not have to force positivity or plastic smiles or put a positive spin on everything.  It is about learning to face the joys, sorrows, and confusion we feel with honesty and grace.

Pretending to be happy and okay when we’re not is actually an unhealthy denial of reality.  And a mentally healthy person does not avoid or trivialize their own pain; they acknowledge it, name it, and work through it... sometimes with the help of medication and/or a trusted friend, family member, or counselor!

The only way out is through.

Keep going, friends.

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Gender Reveal!

The wonderful Wilson family will soon be a party of five, plus one in Heaven!
...I'm realizing even as I write this that the above sentence now holds true for three of my favorite families on earth, which makes me feel even more grateful for the ironclad reality of Heaven.  For those who choose Christ, our "firm and secure hope" lies in knowing that everything that is broken, partial, and incomplete here will be healed, whole, and complete there.  Seriously, what a gift!

Anyway, tonight was the Baby Wilson GENDER REVEAL Party!!  How cute is this cookiecake by Karli Marie!?

...I don't like incomplete story loops, so for the record, I found out Karli was pregnant back on August 9th when she was too sick to join us for this hangout at H-Tea-O and Woodland Hills!  They found out the week they finished their foster parenting classes and got their home study approval with DHS, so that timing was entertaining and ironic!  Karli has dealt with more fatigue and morning sickness this time around - it's finally beginning to lift a little.  Chettles is training for a marathon and was pretty sore and exhausted after running 20 miles this morning.   Right now, they are serving as respite foster care support, which means low-sleep weekends caring for a newborn as they prepare for their own baby due late March or early April AND continue to parent their children well and serve regularly at their church and help out at the kids' schools and process grief and hold onto hope and train for a marathon and attend/lead weekly Bible studies and support their family and friends well and handle ongoing work and life responsibilities and plan and host multiple big events!   They are truly exceptional and deeply-loved and valued people, so please join me in praying for extra grace, good health, and renewed strength for all of them in this demanding season!!

From learning Karli was pregnant during the summer 2017 Mercantile trip to now, today is the first time anyone has known the gender before the birth of their children.  Chet and Karli did not find out early with Tate or Parker, and the wait was rough on me and Melissa and Teresa. lol  Chet loves a good surprise as much as I love being the first to know something.  I very kindly offered to go pick up the cake today, and he said, "Girl, I don't trust you (not to look)."  I will say he was not wrong, but I wouldn't have ruined it for anyone else. lol  All that to say, I'm very thrilled that they decided to find out ahead of time with this baby!  They've had the envelope containing the gender from their doctor since our Los Cabos hangout on September 27th, but Bill and Melissa were on a cruise through most of October, and Chet and Karli were in no big rush about planning this event, in spite of Melissa and I thoughtfully offering multiple date options for them. lol

Today was FINALLY the big day.  And when I realized that they were mourning a miscarriage two years ago, this really felt like God's perfect timing to give them something joyful and redemptive to counterbalance that painful grief anniversary!! ❤  With my own circumstances, my heart feels every bit of this more this year, but there is so much joy to be found in life, and I would sincerely rather my emotions be heightened than numb.

Before they cut the cake, we all went around the circle with every person guessing/voting the gender they expected.  A classic Chettles move...

Predictably, Tate wanted a boy and Parker wanted a girl, and the other kids at the party mostly voted for their own gender.  Chet was hoping for a girl, but they had convinced themselves it was likely to be a boy.  Sarah and Melissa both guessed boy, as well.  I said girl, just as I did when we all voted on the chalkboard at the Farmhouse back in 2017.  I was obviously wrong back then, but I got it right this time!  They used two knives to cut this cake together, revealing the pink icing for a beautiful baby sister for Tate and Parker!! ❤

The cake was a Laurannae bride's cake, so yay for that!  (It wasn't quite as good as their cupcakes I have loved, but still highly preferable to earl grey and lavender.  lol)  They told Chet this size would serve 8 people, which was quite the understatement!  Also, since Chet vetoed me grabbing the cake for them, I came over around 4:30 to help Karli decorate, and my job was tying the pink, blue, and silver streamers for the backdrop behind them here, so I just felt compelled to point out my hard work there!  ;-)

Gracious, I love this group, and love this group pic taken with Kristin Renee's phone!!  Note to self: Find out what type of phone she has and get it next time I upgrade... look how crisp and clear the photo quality is here - umm, yes, please!

We had Chick-fil-A nuggets and wraps + CFA tea + Honest juice boxes for the kids + fries + salad and fruit salad, along with cake and cookiecake - thanks, Wilson fam!!  Top middle pic = the actual envelope from their doctor.  Top right is Evan and Jon moving a recliner downstairs.  Bottom row = a cake closeup and Chet and Karli hanging the banner!

The Wilsons are the most fun!!  They have permanent LED lights outside where they can use an app to change the color for different holidays/events.  They set it to blue and pink before this party, then changed them to all pink after cutting the cake - FUN!!

Speaking of quick changes, I went from Halloween fun to Christmas queen in less than 24 hours! #bringonChristmas  (Right pic = me texting Rach to ask which headband to wear with my new sweatshirt, which felt like a perfect choice to ring in November. lol)

We stayed and chatted longer than I'd expected, which means I'm up late and back-dating these three blogs now! lol  This = one final pic with the Wilsons and Fultons as we were leaving!

I was already feeling this. lol  Not loving how early it will get dark now, but this meme made me laugh! =)

Okaaaay, I had a lot to say today, but I can promise you I won't write three posts a day moving forward. lol  

Hold on to hope and joy today, friends!  The God of all hope and comfort is with you and for you, working everything out for your good and for His glory.  Heaven is real, redemption is real, and the best things we experience here on earth are just a sneak preview of all the wonderful things God has in store for us when we get there!

I love you and believe in you, and Jesus does too!
Enjoy the extra hour of sleep!!
See you tomorrow!

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Gaillardia Girls Night!

After the girls finished filming their Tik-Tok dances, Rachael and Kyndal and Haydenn met me at the Braum's on Macarthur (aww, vivid 2011-2013 memories of Doris Drive), and I rode with them through the Gaillardia neighborhood across the street!

It was Haydenn's 13th birthday, so happy bday to her!  She and Kyndal are entertaining together, and they dressed as "Soulja Boy," as his Crank That song from the early 2000s has become popular again on Tik-Tok. lolol. Seeing their costumes and watching them kinda trip while trying the dance between houses brought me lots of joy!!

Rough lighting on this pic... for me and Haydenn, at least.  There were some people taking their golf cart through the neighborhood, and the lights were shining right on us, but that also made the shadows much more intense! #metaphorforlife

Rach wore her ghost poncho and black eye makeup and lipstick, and I wore my grad robe and Gryffindor scarf to be a Hogwarts student - yay, easy costumes!!  ...Rach jokingly called me Harry Potter at one point, and I corrected that to Hermione (pronounced "her-my-knee").  Then Rach said, "Seriously, that's how you say it??  I always thought it was her-mee-own."  Like, get all the way out.  So yeah, she and her children clearly haven't even seen the movies and have zero business visiting the magic that is Harry Potter World! lol #muggles

Rach and I mostly stayed in the car and chatted and admired the bougie houses and caught up on life whilst the girls were in and out.  It's a super fancy neighborhood, so naturally, several homes hand out full-size candy bars.  Even the security guard at the neighborhood entrance had some candy for all of us! =)  Also, Kyndal Faith got a haircut this week, and it's super cute!

Jace was at the CHA football game in Minco, but he begged Rach to trick-or-treat for him! lol  She felt dumb going up to the door at the first house, so I jokingly suggested she just tell them her son is in the car with a foot injury, then Kyndal said "Do that after I've walked away!  What if they ask to come see him!?"  The thought of that and how Rach would react made me laugh a lot!  For the record, she did not try that, but Kyndal got plenty of candy to share a bit with Jace. =)

We were there from around 7:00-9:15 and the girls canvassed most of the neighborhood.  Kudos to Rach for her great sense of direction, even if her knowledge of Harry Potter is woefully inadequate. lol  Gryffindors, ghosts, and a fun girls night at Gaillardia - that alliteration just writes itself!

Here's Karsten and Asher... their mismatched costume heads and Emily's caption made me laugh!  The sibling rivalry is so real, and it starts early!! lol

Speaking of cute siblings, here's Parker Elizabeth as a presh unicorn, and Tate Haywood as a daring ninja (Jace's costume from yesteryear)!

Her randomly putting her hand up by her face to pose now after the photographer had her do that for her school pic = my very favorite thing! lol  Gah, so much cuteness!!

That concludes my Halloween 2025 recap!

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New Perspective

When I think about key moments that shaped how I see myself and the world, three stand out right now: my recent trip to NYC, a 2010 court reporting seminar, and my first visit to CCU.  Each stretched me in new ways and really helped me grow in confidence, faith, and feeling connected to the world around me!

New York City:  This fall’s trip to NYC was full of firsts, including my first time driving through Dallas traffic!  What once felt intimidating turned out to be empowering.  From navigating airports and hotels and Ubers to exploring NYC and seeing my favorite play on Broadway, everything went smoothly.  God was kind to me, and I came home with great memories, feeling very thankful and more confident and capable.  That trip reminded me that we really can do hard things, and that the world isn’t nearly as scary as it sometimes seems.  It required a bit of courage, and it expanded my sense of safety and community!

Ecstatic to be at the Richard Rodgers Theater with Leslie Odom, Jr. and company!!

2010 Court Reporting Seminar:  This seminar came after a discouraging workday when an attorney’s harsh words caught me off guard and made me cry.  I felt weak and unsure of who I was, and Jane Boucher’s session on personality types was a revelation.  Her simple framework taught me that I’m an Amiable (introverted feeler).  Understanding what that means and how Drivers (extrovert thinkers), Expressives (extrovert feelers), Analyticals (introvert thinkers), and fellow Amiables tend to communicate and interact has forever reshaped the way I view myself and understand relationships - truly valuable insight that continues to guide me today!

(2010-era photo at Orange Leaf with Krista)

Colorado Christian University:  Enrolling at CCU was a leap of faith that took a different kind of bravery and tenacity.  Traveling alone, navigating the Denver airport, hotel, and rental car, stepping into a completely new environment full of strangers, and being required to do in-person counseling role plays that first week -- it all stretched me and stressed. me. out.  But it also expanded my confidence and my worldview in ways I never expected.  The inspiring people I’ve met, the personal growth I’ve experienced, the way my faith and knowledge have deepened, and the glowing sense of connection I feel on the CCU campus have all left a lasting mark!

First time on campus at Residency One, Summer 2022

Courage means moving forward through fear, knowing God is with you and for you.  And as we stay open to His leading, life opens up in beautiful ways!

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