Renewal

I may do something totally unexpected and actually take a day off from blogging tomorrow. lol

Drumroll, please... my word for 2026:

RENEWAL:

1)   An instance of resuming an activity or state after an interruption.

2)  The act of extending the validity of a license, subscription, or contract.

3)  The replacing or repair of something that is worn out, run-down, or broken.

"Those who hope in the Lord will renew their STRENGTH." ~Isaiah 41:10

"Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your MIND." ~Romans 12:2

"Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast SPIRIT within me." ~Psalm 51:10

I will be praying for and pursuing renewed strength (body, mind, soul, and spirit) through hope in Christ, a renewed mind through God's Word, and a renewed spirit through repentant prayer!!  The concept of renewal goes along with my original "phoenix" rising from the ashes idea, but it's more concrete and Scripture-based.

Resuming an activity after an interruption... extending the validity of a contract... repairing something that is worn out or broken.  Gracious, all of that speaks to me and applies to desires that are resurfacing.  I want to be a trustworthy woman of God who is committed to seeking Him daily and being actively involved in church.  That devoted activity has been disturbed and interrupted long enough, and I plan to resume it with fierce intentionality in 2026!  After assessing their value, I feel committed to continuing my court reporting career and my doctoral studies... extending the validity of those contracts into 2026!  I want to repair /rebuild my physical strength (which has digressed over the past year), and I am praying for God's guidance in repairing or replacing my broken hopes for building a family and/or counseling career (while keeping my heart securely anchored in Kingdom hope).  That's a lot.  But it feels aligned with God's heart for me.

Okay, that's all for now.  Happy Monday, Happy December 1st, and Happy Birthday to Laura Allison!! ❤

Cheers! ;-)

I love you and believe in you, and I believe in your ability to find renewed strength and hope through Christ!

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Let Them

Day 30:  Reflect on this year’s spiritual theme — what word or lesson has shaped your journey?

2025's theme was inspired by my good friend, Mel Robbins. =)

Her bestseller book came out on Christmas Eve 2024, and I quickly listened to every word.  I loved the concept enough to choose it as my theme for 2025...

And I promptly bought the hoodie!

In a year that included applying for and starting the doctorate, several counseling and CR job interviews and career decisions, hard medical news and adoption decisions, gradually shifting family dynamics, and another opportunity to move or stay put... it was really good to be reminded repeatedly that most people will not understand all of my decisions... and that the great, great majority of people will not even care enough to check in or read about them and will not be personally affected by whatever I choose (see my "David, nobody cares" post).  No one else has to live your life, and no other flawed human being FULLY understands your perspective.  Lean on God, and let people misunderstand.

For right now, I have chosen court reporting over counseling, job security over unknown risk factors, pursuing more school over settling without it, honoring others' dignity over forcing what I believe is best for them, letting go of the embryo adoption path and doing my best to trust God with my future family hopes.  Decision-wise, this was undoubtedly the most difficult year of my life (other years have been difficult based on things outside my control; this time, a lot of it was up to me, which was challenging in new ways).  The Let Them theory -- and lots of good talks with Emily, Chet, Mom, Kristin, and other friends and professors -- helped me!!  Our lifegroup study on boundaries has also been well-timed.  A good reminder that sometimes the best course is to give others less access rather than hoping they will become better and more responsible with what you've offered them... this cheesy Christmas song meme made me laugh and think about that!

Thanks for sticking with me through this month of 36 blog posts! lol  Happy last day of November, friends!  I hope and pray that you have a lovely December ahead!

Friendly Reminder:

Let them misunderstand.

Let them be confused.

You're responsible for knowing what's right FOR YOU.

You're responsible for making decisions you can live with.

You're responsible for trusting yourself enough

that someone else's confusion doesn't shake your clarity...

They're seeing your decision through their limits, 

their fears, their life experiences.

It's not your responsibility to make people understand.

Let them.

Let them be confused,

And let me be clear.

Let them question me,

And let me stand firm in a simple answer.

Let them have their opinions,

And let me have my boundaries. 

Let them disagree.

Let me keep going.

Let them not get it.

Let me stop explaining myself.

Let them talk.

Let me live.

~Mel

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Finishing Strong

One more post here tonight, and then one final November Blog Challenge post tomorrow!! ❤

They've posted some of the Route 66 official race photos (all available free, which is sooo appreciated)!  Ironically, they haven't posted any pics of Chet with Evan, Mark, or Daniel yet, and only a couple with Jeff - so hopefully they'll keep adding those in, but I was very happy to see these today.  If someone had to be first, I volunteer as tribute. lol  YAY for Finish Line pics with Chettles!!

This was like two seconds into my relay leg (by Tulsa University).  We posed it up for the photographer stationed there, then as we got closer, Chet was like, "Oh, hey Ben!"   Of course he would know the photographer! lol

This = Chet posing it up and me being fully oblivious to this photographer! lol

JEM and Chet nearing the relay exchange zone (I think).

Moving toward the Finish Line, me taking pics of Daniel and Lisa cheering for Chet!

We ❤ running! lol  False.  But we will smile for photos!!

Done!!

At Friendsgiving (later that night), Kantrell asked about how we all got into running or signing up for races, and I had a very immediate answer of Tara from The Biggest Loser!  Back in 2008-2009, she ran a Half-Marathon on the show, and it inspired me and gave me the courage to sign up at Fitness Together and train for the Route 66 Half that year.  In 2010, at least 7 other DDLG friends ran it and we all got a fun pic together afterwards.  Anyway, not all of what I learned from that show was helpful, but I'm grateful for the positive motivation to try signing up for a race... that's been a fun and productive hobby off and on over the last 16 years!

In other news, the wonderful Wilsons joined me today at the final home game for OSU!  Here's our windblown pic on the walk in - Vivian did not approve!

Even with the cold weather, the shirtless guys were going strong, and the inflatable shark in the midst of them brought me joy! lol

We sat inside and snacked and chatted through the first half, then ventured out for the 3rd quarter and one final round with Garth for this season! =)  Thanks again to Dad for the club tickets!!

Happy Saturday, friends and fam!  It's been a delightful and productive Thanksgiving week, and I very much enjoyed the break from work and school!!  Now I'm gearing up to finish strong for the final two weeks of the CCU research courses and the calendar year 2025 and my season of working at the Cleveland County Courthouse!

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Phoenix Rising

Day 29:  What activity, place, or experience makes you feel most like yourself?

Hard for me to answer this one.  To be honest, I adore my house.  I designed and built it, and the rooms and decor feel more and more like a good reflection of me!  For the great most part, it's just me here, and as an introvert who is rarely bored and tends to enjoy my own company and/or listening to podcasts and audiobooks, that works out pretty well for me! 

In sharp contrast to that (and probably as a way of balancing it out)... I wasn't fully aware of this before COVID made me crave it, but I really love to be in a crowd of people having a shared fun or awe-inspiring experience.  It's why I prefer theater movies to watching at home, why I so enjoy being at sporting events even when I don't care much for the sports, and why I feel oddly at home in the bright lights and big city vibes of Las Vegas or NYC.  So while I love outdoor walks, home, and a good brunch... I would say I "feel most like myself" when I'm with people who value me!

Shifting gears, my favorite Black Friday purchase of 2025 = this official Peloton bike (from my neighbor and LG friend, Katie)!! #getexcited

Katie helped me bring it inside... I bought the bike for $300 and restarted my $13/month digital membership, so huzzah... this will be the Peloton Era 2.0 as I start my work-from-home routine next year!

I'm super jazzed about it! lol

This = me being excited to try the real bike for the first time at my Dallas Doubletree hotel in August! =)

I've been a fan since 2020.  I thought it had fully burned out, but it's rising back up, along with a few other things.  I'm thinking phoenix will be my word for 2026 - with the hopeful theme of rising from the ashes, beauty for ashes, resurrection of things I thought were done.

That's all for this post!

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Hidden Talents & Family Pics

Day 28:  What’s something you’re surprisingly good at that most people wouldn’t guess about you?

1). Remembering dates, nonsense trivia, and song lyrics.

2). Starting over/ reinvention.

3). Deflecting.

Not much would surprise regular blog readers at this point, but that's a very small group.  Happy Black Friday, friends, and here are some fun pics from our Thanksgiving dinner at Justin and Anna's last night! ❤

Cousin Pic with Kristin Michelle!

16 kids there this year, including two sets of twins!

The Peavler Crew (+ Hites and Dewberry families)

The Lock Crew (+ Whitaker Family)

Al, Clara, Hilary, and Amelia!

Whitaker fam!

Parrishes (minus T&C)!

Muecke fam (+ Parrishes)

Charlene, Dad, Mom, Nancy, Gene, Georgia, and Alan!

Mom (getting sick) and the mini Miss K (recovering from sickness).  Praying for recovery for both of them and for Chet!

Hope you enjoyed Thanksgiving,
and hope it's a fantastic long weekend ahead!!

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Thanksgiving Prayer

Day 27:  Write a prayer of thanks for this year’s blessings, challenges, and lessons.

Father God, 

I love You, I worship You, and I trust You.

Thank You for being faithful and kind and protective and empowering, weaving everything together for the good of those who love You!

Thank You for ALL the daily blessings and small joys You've given me, along with the big events and happy things You planned long ago for me to enjoy and celebrate in 2025 -- Mom's 70th birthday, a trip with Triston and a solo trip to NYC, Judge Golden's retirement, Jaceman becoming a teenager and stepping out of elementary school, Abby's graduation, a trip with Mom and a solo trip to Colorado, graduating with my Masters and stepping into CCU's doctoral program, Triston starting his Senior year and getting promising news on college scholarships, reaching a weight-loss milestone, training for and finishing a full marathon, Rach passing the CPC-A exam, adopting embryos, starting my LPC-Candidacy, Ashley Campbell's book release, finding my Heal Out Loud lifegroup community, the Wilsons' pregnancy and gender reveal party, Frankie's new job, Marilyn's recovery, having a paid-off home, the global impact of the Bible app, getting to join Chet for his marathon finish line, remixing my home and setting up a great office space, and landing a new job I'm truly excited to start next month!!  Thank You for the close relationships that make all of the above more meaningful and beautiful to me!

Thank You for Your timing and guiding my steps and challenging me to grow in new ways this year -- for being with me and for me even as I received more painful medical news at Dallas IVF, for giving me all the courage and relational support I needed to finally step back from the adoption path, for timely books and podcasts, for repentance and grace, for meaningful counseling sessions with Emily and consistent support and wisdom from Chet Lee, for the defining mentorship of Dr. Burkhart (and wise words from Dr. Elliott and Dr. Robinson) that challenged me to stay in the PhD program when I wanted to leave, for challenging me to step up in integrity, for wisdom to navigate hard situations with aging parents, for prompting a timely friendship connection and for the beautiful ceremony honoring the life of Kristen Harriss, for what I learned through rejection and confusion as I applied and interviewed for so. many. jobs. this year, for supportive friends and family, for what You taught me through my clients and how you worked through me in counseling sessions at ITS, for a growing and shifting understanding about my future career path, and for increasing calm and clarity after a lot of inner chaos in 2025.  Thank You for Your faithfulness and for the legit gift of writing to help me process ALL of the above!!

Thank You for Your promise that You never abandon us and that nothing can separate us from Your love.  Thank You for the cloud of witnesses cheering me on and for the anchoring hope of spending eternity with You.  Thank You for rich conversations, good music and books and movies, football games, outdoor walks, family dinners, naps, volleyball tournaments, ballet recitals, school programs, birthday celebrations, live musicals, delicious food, fun projects, growing friendships, all the things I'm learning, and all the things I am so looking forward to -- and thank You that Heaven will be a serious upgrade on everything we love and enjoy here!  Thank You for the quiet failures, the funerals, rejection letters, hard conversations, painful goodbyes, ambiguous grief, and other sharp reminders of our human frailty (that we are all subject to death and decay here) - and for the way these things increase our hope for Heaven.  Our time here is short, and our calling is opposed.  I need Your grace, Your armor, Your wisdom, and Your presence today, Lord!  Give me eyes to see what matters and a heart that cares enough to engage and act boldly.  Help me to walk in love and joy and peace, to think and speak in ways that honor You, and to always be thankful!!

Thank You for loving me and believing in me and making my paths straight.  Thank You that I belong to You, and I always belong with You, and I am never alone!  I still have questions about what lies ahead, but I am trusting You, O Lord, saying, "You are my God." My future is in Your hands!

In the authority of Jesus' name,

Amen. ❤

HAPPY THANKSGIVING, BLOG FAM!!
Thank you for being here - it means a lot!

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Comfort Cobras?

Day 26:  What movie or show do you return to again and again, and what comfort or truth does it offer you each time?

Gracious, that is not a short list.
I love rewatching my favorite episodes of familiar shows and/or movies!

For today, I'm going with Cobra Kai.

Johnny Lawrence never fails to makes me laugh... but I love his grit and determination and the way his character grows through this series!

...I find comfort in the ridiculous lines and familiar characters, and reassuring truth in watching these very messy-but-lovable characters gradually learn to find their strength and fight well.  The coaches and their students are all immature and dealing with unhealed brokenness... at first, their focus is naturally on protecting themselves and fighting perceived bullies/enemies, and their relationships are all comically fraught with tension, unhealthy competition, and turmoil... but if you can make it through that early drama and chaos, over time, there is a very. strong. redemptive arc where former enemies come together and fight to protect others.  It's messy and imperfect, but they all grow and improve.

There are strong themes of persevering through pain, leadership growth, trying new things, team unity ("protect the egg"), compromise over competition, strategic self-defense, and building your chosen family.  So yeah, I enjoy the ridiculous cheesy comedy and the absurdly intense villains, but the redemptive arc also really resonates with me in this season, and I've watched every episode at least 3x now!  (Because Cobra Kai never dies, but their hyper-aggressive stance does get a much-needed reframe.)

 

Shoutout to the Jaceman for his persistence in convincing me to watch the final two seasons!!

In other news, shoutout to Carter Lee for putting up my parents' Christmas lights this year!

And big thanks to Mom, Triston, Carter, and King Handyman Service for helping me remix several things in my own home... we're nearly done now, and I'm loving the changes!!  

My bookshelves are now in the entry hallway... they're surprisingly unobtrusive in that space, I seriously pared down the books I'm keeping, and it makes me happy to see this fun 'library' more often! ❤

The big L-shaped desk moved from the tiled room into my new home office (with much more happy sunlight for my new mostly-work-from-home job and CCU homework days - an improvement, as I've been doing that at the kitchen table the past 3 years. lol) ❤  Wall decor, plants, and state-issued computer coming soon.

The double bed is going to Katie from my lifegroup, and the new queen bed moved into the new guest room (formerly known as the nursery room).  Bedskirt and headboard on the way, and I feel like this room actually has more space for anyone who stays with me!

I got a 'miraculous' mattress upgrade (with a very extra salesman), but it is nice, and I'm thankful and love my bedroom setup with the pink couch!

And the only tiled room now houses the pink writing desk, navy rug and pink ottoman (which really soften that space), my painting and board of empowerment, my exercise bike and weights, and my Roku TV from work when it comes home with me next month!  It will be the blogging and biking room. lol  YAY! ❤

This took a bit of effort, but it's a functional and visual improvement in every space, so I'm very happy with it!! ❤

Okay, that's all for today.
Happy Thanksgiving Eve!!

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Unspoken Opinions

Day 25:  If you could wake up with one superpower (serious or silly), what would it be and how would you use it?

The first answer that came to mind = the power to hear other people's thoughts, like Mel's character in What Women Want.  I would only tell one person, and I would make good use of it.  Since I live on my own, I would not be constantly overwhelmed by it (in theory).  But it would come in very handy in making me look like a brilliant, tuned-in counselor and in helping me form closer relationships..... or that would be my heart's desire there.

But as I think more deeply about this, in addition to violating the inherent trust of others, I am quickly aware of what an insecurity-driven nightmare that "superpower" would be for a recovering people pleaser.  How quickly I might try to change and contort myself to be more likable with every moody mean comment or sharp critical opinion I "heard," and how everyone around me might have a different inner idea of exactly what me being more likable means, and how hurtful and confusing and stressful hearing all of that would be.  Eeek.  Nevermind, only God can handle that power with full emotional maturity.

So now I feel grateful that I can't hear what others are thinking, which is a nice shift. lol

Mmkay, happy Tuesday, and hope your Thanksgiving week is off to a great start!!

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Walking with God

Day 24:  Which TV or film character’s journey reminds you of your walk with God, and why?

• Ron Weasley, Harry Potter series
• Cousin Richie, The Bear
• Andrea Sachs, The Devil Wears Prada

Ron:  I just adore Ron.  In the beginning, he often feels overlooked and insecure among his talented family and famous friends.  He struggles with feeling unimportant or unseen (or undeserving when he is seen/chosen), but throughout the series, it becomes clear that he is the grounding force between Harry’s intensity and Hermione’s brilliance, the natural connector who makes their friendship trio work and gradually move from loyal friends to family.  His story reminds me that God often casts us in roles we do not recognize as vital while we’re in them.  Like being the supportive encourager, showing up faithfully, and bringing light into hard situations.

Richie:  Richie's transformation resonated with me more than I expected.  His character starts off insecure, overcompensating in obnoxious ways for the lack of real purpose in his own life.  The lightbulbs come on for him in the “Forks” episode (The Bear, S. 2, Ep. 7), among my very favorite episodes of any show.  Without changing his career description, his newfound sense of purpose and personal pride in serving others well and giving them a great, memorable experience changes EVERYTHING!  Every second counts.  When he says, “I think I’m the sand,” in season 3, that also hit me.  He found purpose in realizing he wasn’t the star of the show, but a vital behind-the-scenes connector who fills in the gaps, brings joy, and helps others shine and feel special.  I’ve felt God calling me into that same posture, finding purpose in being a steady anchor and connecting presence in the lives of my friends, family, and hopefully future clients and students!

Andrea:  Andi is an introverted writer determined to prove herself in a high-pressure job, and she gets lost and confused in the chaotic process.  Her journey is a good reminder that high achievement means nothing if it costs you your integrity, joy, or close relationships.  It's a rough comparison, but it came to mind here - as the idea of striving while losing sight of the end goal resonates for me, and so does her turning point of remembering her values and goals, finding a healthier balance, and reaching out to mend fences with people she hurt along the way. 

God is always at work, currently shaping my understanding that purpose is not found in the spotlight of being the most accomplished or most impressive, but in the subtle work of faithfully showing up, prioritizing strong connections, and helping others feel safe, seen, and supported! ❤

Having said all of that, the above characters represent things God is teaching me.  But a walk with God is a RELATIONSHIP, and the book & film relationship that best mirrors that for me is Harry and Dumbledore.

The story begins with Harry feeling a sense of awe and mystery as he meets Dumbledore.  Learned reverence mixed with a lot of deeper questions.  He shows an instinctive childlike trust that Dumbledore is wise and has his best interest at heart, even though he is slower than Harry would prefer to reveal the answers he wants.  Dumbledore sees something special in Harry that makes him want to grow and become better, and Harry is fiercely loyal and defends Dumbledore's reputation whenever anyone tries to question or diminish him.  "Dumbledore's man through and through."  In Order of the Phoenix, Dumbledore intentionally distances himself from Harry to protect him.  Naturally, Harry feels abandoned and hurt, all while battling mounting confusion, opposition, anger, and darkness in the world around him.  Yet the entire time, Dumbledore is fighting a larger battle on Harry’s behalf, shielding him from Voldemort’s influence and preparing Harry for a confrontation he doesn't fully understand yet.  He shows up powerfully to stand between Harry and the enemy when Harry needs him most, then he helps Harry process the worst grief and loss he has faced even as Harry is violently angry with him.  Toward the end of the series, Dumbledore becomes a closer mentor to Harry as they partner together in shared missions to learn about and confront their enemy.  There is a deep respect along with a growing sense of friendship, collaboration, and purpose.  In the end, Dumbledore sacrifices himself for the cause, and Harry and friends have to rally and use all they have learned from him to sort through the curious mysteries left behind and complete the vital mission he assigned to them.

And every. bit. of the above mirrors my walk with God. ❤

Okay then, good talk!  I maaaay have overthought this one. lol

Happy Monday, blog fam!  I love you and believe in you, and Jesus does too!!!

❤ ❤ ❤

"Chet Pack" Relay Team!

This morning was the 20th Annual Route 66 Marathon in Tulsa!!

Then tonight was the 14th annual Friendsgiving dinner at the Wilsons! =)

This = our pre-race team pic (minus Evan) at Whataburger last night - YAY, relay team!

Packet pickup at the Civic Center!

Yay, new Swiftie hat... fun!!  Boo, ingrown toenail... ouch - Advil was my friend! lol

Moss fam at dinner last night! =)

Meeting these guys at the Start Line around 7:30 this morning!

Chet's Fleet Feet Coach and pacer, Meeyoun!

Their training team!

100 pounds of confetti at the Start Line!  Definitely found some that stayed with me when I got back to my hotel. lol

Pic with the blue whale mascot! lol

Chettles and JEM, Relay leg #2!  I walked in the wrong direction at least a mile trying to find Woodward Park, so I missed the exchange point with Evan, but I was so happy to catch them here!!

Next was meeting the Shoemaker fam near the next relay exchange zone!  The road closures made everything tricky, but the race day energy is pretty fun to me, and I was happy to be there for all of this!

Going strong at Mile 10!

Three of the best men I know... Mark Anthony, Jeffrey Edward, and Chet Lee!

JEM and I got a pic by the Route 66 bridge while enjoying the live saxophone music! =)

The wonderful Wilsons and Weatherfords!!  Pic by Rachel Elizabeth bc I was headed to my own Relay spot at this point!

Cutest little friends!

Made it to my spot near Tulsa University... I was about 45 minutes early, and it was super cold outside!  I had fun chatting with other relayers and watching the runners and the water stop girls, though!

Daniel and Chettles, just past Mile Marker 21!

We ran and smiled for the official race photographer right as my portion got started, then Chet saw this sign and quickly volunteered himself for this photo op. LOL

Chet's fam there to cheer us on between Mile 22 and 23 (same mile where they met me in OKC).  Love all the signs!

❤ ❤

Chet dealing with the pebble in his shoe; me being happy to sit down. lol

Chettles "leaning in" and embracing the delightful hills of Tulsa! lol

This one makes me happy! ❤

We (especially Chettles) were thrilled to see this sign marking the last .2 miles of the journey!!

We did it - huzzah - it feels very in character that I'm in a hoodie and pants while Chet's in shorts and a t-shirt!!

Celebration pic with the Shoemakers, Comers, Wilsons, and Weatherfords!!

Ran back to my hotel room to shower and change, DoorDashed H-Tea-O to the Wilson home, and got there at 5pm for a delicious Italian Friendsgiving feast!

Loved the conversations tonight -- love this group and super thankful for them!!

Today was really fun for me from start to finish!!  Chet so appreciated the relay team support, and I think all of us really enjoyed being a part of it.  I was thrilled to have the final leg with more photos and less running.  But seriously, round of applause for Chettles, who showed remarkable grit in finishing the marathon after being sick all week... then hosting everyone (27 people this year) for dinner a few hours later!

I wish him a well-deserved rest and recovery day tomorrow and a peaceful Thanksgiving week ahead!!  

(And better health pre-Disney Marathon on 1-11!)

❤ ❤ ❤