Tuesday, November 18, 2025

The Path of Peace

And now, a life update...

Short Version:  Within a 48-hour period, I received the two best job offers of my life last week!  And yesterday, I gladly accepted a court reporter position with the Oklahoma Corporation Commission! ❤

Detailed Version:  The counseling market is oversaturated right now, while court reporting is facing a major shortage.  This means that desirable counseling jobs (especially entry-level roles) are limited, while there are loads of CR openings (for which I'm well qualified after nearly 21 years in the field).  Over the past year, my focus has shifted.  My current hope is to continue with court reporting as my primary career, then teach at CCU on the side after finishing my PhD.  

Last week, I interviewed for a Federal Court Reporter position in Tulsa.  It was a Zoom panel with two hiring officials and five other court reporters, but I felt surprisingly calm.  We had a great conversation where I learned a lot about the role:  meticulously tracking work hours, working with a judge who speaks clearly and slowly but requires realtime for every  hearing, being able to work from home when not in court, busy dockets, and a faster 30-day turnaround time on all transcripts at a lower page rate than I currently charge.  By the end of the day, I received an official job offer.

Becoming a Federal CR is really the pinnacle of the profession, so receiving that offer was a surprising honor and a confidence boost!  To be clear, the offer came with a substantial pay increase (potentially $50-90k+ more each year, depending on transcript volume), fantastic benefits, and a significantly heavier workload.

Even though the idea of moving during the holidays, upgrading all my equipment, pausing the doctoral program, potentially hearing traumatizing things in court, and mastering realtime before facing a courtroom full of high-level jury trials was extremely stressful, I was really leaning toward accepting.  I had talked with my CCU advisor, Chet was sending me house listings, and Mom and I were discussing new steno machines and CRR prep.  It felt like the ominous uphill climb at the beginning of a roller-coaster that I knew would be a rocky learning curve for at least the first six months.

Thanks to Rachael's interest in court reporting leading to Mom's recent conversation with Marilyn, I had also thrown my application in with the Oklahoma Corporation Commission just over a week ago.  I assumed the Federal role would be the one I took if it was offered, and the OCC could be a solid backup option.

After a very long and exhausting Friday in court last week (which honestly felt like God reminding me that I'm happier when cases settle rather than drag into long trials), Amy from the OCC called.  We talked for 30 minutes, and I knew within the first five minutes that I wanted that job!!  With the ongoing shortage, she essentially offered me the position on the spot.  I spoke with Andrea Monday morning -- another CR on their leadership team -- and officially said yes.  I submitted my resignation to Judge Brockman yesterday afternoon and sent my decline email to the federal court this morning.  My final day here will be 12-23, and for HR reasons, my start date with the OCC will be 12-29.

This will be a lateral move salary-wise since it's still an Oklahoma state CR role, but the benefits include:  Being managed by other CRs who understand and place a high value on court reporters, no realtime requirement, a legit electronic filing system (yes, please), a higher transcript page rate ($7.50 per page!), a predictable and non-traumatizing docket of mostly oil and gas cases, and working remotely from home all but 3-4 days per month!!  That makes this the most flexible work role I've ever had, which many of you know is truly saying something. lol  Their hearings are all Zoom recorded, so the backup audio will be solid and comforting.  And it allows me to continue moving forward with the PhD program at the accelerated pace!

Early on, I joked that this choice came down to greed vs. laziness, but truly, it came down to alignment vs. pressure.  Both job offers are excellent, and I trust that I would be valued and have stability and job security either way.  After careful and prayerful consideration, I have chosen the role that aligns with my long-term goals, the life I'm building, and the peace I want to protect!

Interestingly, this is the second year in a row where I almost rushed back to Tulsa for a new year transition, then God kept me here.  So I'm choosing to embrace that and make the most of being in OKC in 2026, trusting God's timing and plan.  After 48 hours of nonstop brainstorming about  the moving process (which is the actual worst) and wrestling with the intensity of the Federal job details, the OCC position was a real quick yes for me!

Yes to peace.
Yes to flexibility.
Yes to staying on track with the PhD.
Yes to an unhurried holiday season.
Yes to family dinners, CHA events, and keeping life rooted right now.
Yes to creating a beautiful home office space I'll enjoy instead of packing up my paid-off home!  

I still see myself eventually landing in Tulsa, but I don't want to rush it.  I am genuinely happy to stay in the OKC area a little longer.  And while I tend to worry about how my decisions affect others, the Tulsa federal court should not have trouble finding a dedicated court reporter who desires that level of intensity, and being able to give Judge Brockman over a month's notice helped ease that transition and made yesterday's conversation less difficult.

I am deeply grateful for God's timing in ALL of the above.  It needed to happen in this sequence for me to feel affirmed and believe I'm competent and capable of handling the Federal CR role, but also to feel flooded with peace, relief, and joy when the OCC door opened! ❤

Dinner Party

Day 18:  You can invite three people (living or dead) to dinner.  Who are they, and what would you serve?

A million ways you could go with this, and there are loads of celebrities or podcast "friends" I'd love to hang out with... but in this season, my initial thought was Jesus, John Eldredge, and my cousin (a caring and introspective Christian-turned-atheist after experiencing some trauma and church hurt).  I would mostly love to observe and learn from that conversation -- I'm confident there would be laughter and a really comfortable group atmosphere where everyone feels seen and heard and valued, and I know there would be lingering deep conversation -- honest wrestling with painful topics, sharp-yet-vulnerable questions, deep curiosity, genuine care and empathy, and wise and safe men who get to the heart of the matter and gently speak truth in love. ❤

I'm not pulling a Martha and putting all the hostess pressure on myself when Jesus is invited... (yet apparently my brain has zero issues with inviting Him to Vegas!? lol)  So "I" would serve Mon Ami Gabi's delightful brunch menu! 

Nom nom for us, David. ;-)

Or if it really had to be dinner, I would go with family-style Maggiano's for Italian appetizers, dinner, and dessert!! =)

❤ ❤ ❤

Monday, November 17, 2025

Rewrites and Regrets

Day 17:  If you could rewrite one scene from your life, what would you change - or would you keep it exactly as it is?

Excerpt from a 2019 post:  This moment from We are The Millers will forever be what I think of when I say "No regrets!" lol 
..."None?  Not even a single letter!?" 🤣


I'm not a big believer in regrets.  I remember one of the many Myers-Briggs sites I have visited saying that INFJs are the least likely to wish they could go back and change anything because we are able to see purposeful connections and meaning in all of our experiences, and that rang true.  I believe deeply that God has a bigger plan than I could fathom now and He has the power to use my pain for a purpose - for personal growth and for the ultimate good.  And that makes it hard to regret anything, and I'm so thankful for that.  I have put my heart out there in several friendships that ended poorly, and I have taken steps toward many life changes that did not pan out in the end, but it creates resilience when you can look back and see what you've learned and how you've grown from each of those hard events.  The only thing we should ever regret is our sin, and that regret should be temporary because we can seek forgiveness and choose to find healing and change our course."  

~Lindsey from 6 years ago, echoed by Lindsey from today ;-) ❤

In other news, tonight was the YouVersion "Beyond a Billion" event celebrating a billion downloads of the Bible App.  It was the first app I downloaded on my iPhone in 2009, and I'm grateful for Bobby Gruenwald's creative genius and Craig's generosity and leadership with this project.  The first 30 minutes of the event (before they started streaming) were full of painful filler and hype and small talk that nearly led me to miss a really great worship night.  It got MUCH better.  The night included stellar live and in-person worship with CeCe Winans, Lauren Daigle, Matt Redman, Brooke Ligertwood, Kari Jobe, Chris Tomlin, Phil Wickham, and more... along with brief messages from Craig, Bobby, Christine Caine, Louie Giglio, etc.  

The countdown to a billion was marked by loads of confetti at the sold-out Paycom Center! ❤


CeCe, Matt, and Phil... so many great singers tonight!


Today was intense, but in a good way.  More details tomorrow.
Happy Monday!
❤ ❤ ❤


Sunday, November 16, 2025

Resilient Strength

Day 16:  What has counseling taught you about people’s resilience and inner strength?

I can't write about client stories here, and I don't have the time or energy to get very deep tonight (she says before diving in), but resilience and resurrection go together.  When you feel defeated or beaten or think you have nothing left to give, resilience rises back to the surface.  In both of my jobs and in my own life experiences, again and again, people find the inner strength to rise to the challenge.  To find beauty after brokenness, gratitude in grief, hope and healing after heartbreak.  While inner strength and grit are important, the value of safe relationships and rest stand out to me right now as key elements for building resilience and inner strength.  Peace matters, and it is worth protecting.  Feeling seen and known and valued by God and/or the people in our lives matters deeply for our ability to heal, bounce back, and move forward after setbacks.  And that concludes my short answer to a question I might write a full chapter on someday.

Today, Mom and I made a Tulsa trip to help decorate Chet's KW office! =)


Tate and Parker were the best helpers! =)

And movie watchers (watching Home Alone). ❤


Mom and Chettles make a wonderful and entertaining team!  Mission accomplished on the KW decor, and we got to see the model home Chet's been holding open after an Amber Marie shopping spree! =)

Throwback to seeing Mrs. Doubtfire with the Wilsons the day after we got back from Disney last year! =)  I remember voice-blogging (dictating into a phone note) about our trip on my drive back home after the play. lol

This goes with nothing else in this post, but it's fun to see Rach painting and transforming furniture!

Hope you've had a lovely weekend!
❤ ❤ ❤

Saturday, November 15, 2025

2026 Dreams

Day 15:  What dreams or goals are stirring in your heart for 2026 and beyond?

This year has included a lot of heavy decisions and high stress, so I hope 2026 = lighter stress, lighter workload, lighter weight, lighter screentime habits, stronger sense of self, and investing more in good relationships!

I'm running low on energy, so I'm keeping this one short.  Today was the OSU vs. K-State game, and the Whitakers joined me for the trip to Stillwater using Dad's club-level tickets!  Fun times!!


That's all for now.
Happy Saturday!!
❤ ❤ ❤

Friday, November 14, 2025

Alternate Universe

Day 14:  In an alternate universe, what does your life look like?

  • In an alternate universe, I was a CHA cheerleader all through my junior high and high school years, and I really loved it!
  • OR I was seriously injured trying to master the tumbling, or humiliated when I tried out and didn't make the squad.
  • In an alternate universe, I never endured Bells Palsy.
  • OR my smile never healed and came back.
  • In an alternate universe, the feelings were mutual, and I'm a very happy wife and stay-at-home mom with three lovely daughters, living in Virginia Beach.
  • OR I really miss my family and I'm a little bored and lonely and navigating how to rebuild my own identity after years of merging/disappearing behind the pedestal.
  • In an alternate universe, I ran the Nike Women's Marathon, and I'm rocking that Tiffany necklace "medal."
  • OR I collapsed midway through on the rough hills of San Francisco. lol
  • In an alternate universe, Malori and I are lifelong besties, and it's been uncomplicated and fun and meaningful.
  • OR trying to maintain that friendship turned me into a version of myself that I don't really like or respect.
  • In an alternate universe, counseling was all that I hoped it would be, and I'm building my own successful walk-and-talk therapy business.
  • OR I'm trying very hard to build a business, but the stress and liability are taking a toll.
  • In an alternate universe, I am a sharply-dressed, realtime-certified Federal court reporter working from home  a couple days a week and making around 200k per year!
  • OR I'm drowning in transcripts, stressed about realtime jury voir dire, and hating tracking all of my hours.
  • In an alternate universe, I am a single mom with a great supportive community happily raising my 3-year-old biological child after a successful IUI procedure in 2022.
  • OR I'm experiencing the high stress and loneliness a lot of single moms experience, questioning all of my decisions and struggling emotionally.
  • In an alternate universe, I have joyfully announced that I am pregnant with a beautiful biracial adopted child through embryo adoption - people are celebrating this with me, and baby showers are being planned by friends and family.
  • OR I am suffering physically and emotionally, quietly mourning a miscarriage on my own. 
  • In an alternate universe, I moved to Broken Arrow in February, and I am over halfway done with my required hours for candidacy, learning a lot and working alongside Marla as an elementary school therapist for CREOKS.
  • OR I regret moving, I hated that job, and I feel like I took a step backwards falling back to the Creek County CR role.
  • In an alternate universe, I have published several memoir books and gradually become a New York Times best-selling author!
  • OR I published my very first book and got harsh critical feedback that felt crushing.
  • In an alternate universe, we are still a party of 9 at family dinners, and our family has experienced far less brokenness and trauma.
  • OR our lives were drastically altered because Mom and Dad were killed in their car wreck on this day 14 years ago.

Yeah... life could look very, very different.  And it can be interesting to think about the various branches where life might have gone in another direction... there are literally thousands of them in all of our lives, for better or worse.  But remember to frame it with some realism and gratitude.  Adele is right - "Sometimes the road less traveled is the road best left behind."  Truly, through all the twists and turns, God is protective and caring.  He directs and redirects our steps, and we can trust Him to work in all things (tragedy and trauma included) for our good and for His glory!!  ❤

Okay, in other news, here's a quick Photo Friday catch-up:
Jace's basketball team after a very dramatic and exciting last-second win last night!! =)


Kenzie and Rach chatting it up post-game =)

Gideon, TJ, and Jaceman!

Preshface Parker Elizabeth feeling cute at her CFA breakfast with her awesome Dad!

A lot has happened in my life this week - job offers and big decisions and God being very kind and protective.  I'm grateful, and today's verse of the day feels appropriate!!

Happy Friday, friends!
❤ ❤ ❤

Thursday, November 13, 2025

Qualities

Day 13:  What’s a personal quality you’re proud of that others often notice?

(This question feels oddly phrased.)

Mind - I'm proud of cultivating a growth mindset where I always learn new things, and it's nice when others know me well enough to compliment that

Body - I'm proud of and deeply grateful for my smile (after experiencing facial paralysis with Bells Palsy, the ability to smile means a great deal to me, and I'm happy any time I hear compliments on that)

Soul - I am proud that I prioritize quality relationships and genuinely care about people; hopefully they notice and feel that, as well

Spirit - Pride isn't the right word, but I'm thankful that I'm willing to be brutally honest in confessing sin and repenting and pursuing peace with God 

Overall - Resilience and sincerity

Shifting gears, how great is this video?  I really love seeing their friendship, and I love and miss James Corden!!  He. is. precious!

"Oh, I hope in time we both will find peace of mind.
Sometimes the road less traveled is the road best left behind.
Well, I hope I learn to get over myself,
And stop trying to be somebody else..."

Happy Thursday, friends and fam!

❤ ❤ ❤

Wednesday, November 12, 2025

Brave & Beautiful Life

Day 12 - What song best captures your personality or current season of life - and why?

You can be amazing; you can turn a phrase into a weapon or a drug.  You can be the outcast or be the backlash of somebody's lack of love.  Or you can start speaking up.  Nothing's gonna hurt you the way that words do when they settle 'neath your skin, kept on the inside and no sunlight, sometimes the shadow wins.  But I wonder what would happen if you say what you wanna say and let the words fall out.  Honestly, I wanna see you be brave with what you want to say...
Everybody's been there, everybody's been stared down by the enemy.  Falling for the fear and learn to disappear and bow down to the mighty.  But don't run.  Stop holding your tongue.  Maybe there's a way out of the cage where you live.  Maybe one of these days you can let the light in, and show me how big your brave is.  Say what you wanna say, and let the words fall out.  Honestly, I wanna see you be brave!
And since your history of silence won't do you any good - did you think it would?  Let your words be anything but empty.  Why don't you tell them the truth!?
Say what you wanna say, and let the words fall out.
Honestly, I wanna see you be brave!
There's a verrry long list of songs I love and relate to, but I'm going with Brave as the song best representing my personality and current season.
I'm getting better and better at speaking up, telling the truth, and being brave with what I want to say, gradually overcoming my history of silence or reactive sharp words or being the quiet outcast.  No more disappearing, no more falling for fear or giving in to the enemy or feeling caged.  More letting the light in and speaking truth in love!
I deeply love and respect moms and have often imagined myself being a good mom... but the closer I came to it, the more I felt trapped and panicked and gradually realized that single motherhood is really not my dream, then it was a ridiculous struggle for me to say that out loud and change course.  Throughout my entire adult life, writing has helped me sift through my thoughts and become braver with my words over time!  I'm grateful. ❤
Second place goes to the clean version of Eldest Daughter by T-Swift, as I really love the bridge to that song - so much so that I bought this t-shirt with those lyrics on it!  :-)  It's about reclaiming childhood joy and rest and renewing your hope for things you once said were dumb because you were projecting a false strength and you thought that you'd never find that "beautiful, beautiful life that shimmers that innocent light back like when we were young."  That resonates right now too, and I freaking love it. ❤

In other news, Happy Birthday to JoBug today!! ❤

Fun throwback to me getting to ride Tiana's Bayou Adventure (formerly Splash Mountain) twice on this day last year!!  To think, they were going to skip this gem! lol

Finally, here's the fam at Jace's first 7th grade basketball game last night!
(He was in no mood for photos after they lost.)

Looking forward to seeing them again at family dinner tonight!
❤ ❤ ❤

Tuesday, November 11, 2025

Random Extras

Throwing in a few extra thoughts and photos, because I'm really not doing enough blogging this month. lol  Look at this cuteness... Jace Michael in his happy Christmas hat, 9 years ago today! ❤

Another memory that popped up and made me smile... concert-ready Kara, Rach, me, and Megan Elizabeth, circa 2001 maybe?

I'm grateful for friends who see me and support me well.  I feel like I've had a breakthrough this week.  Keep talking through things and untangling what feels messy, however far back you need to go.  What you work through and detangle may just become a source of color and light that brings joy and comfort to others. =)

Six mile walk/jog at the Station this afternoon (after sleeping in and enjoying my day off).  The weather was great, but six miles feels a lot further than it did a few months ago! lol

Mom's house is coming right along! ❤

Me with my 3 degrees and working on a 4th... or Rach with two trades under her belt and contemplating learning a 3rd...

Meanwhile, here's Dad with his high school diploma and very successful self-made business! lol  (Which we're all very thankful for!!!)
Just saying, Kanye may have had a point in the Lil Jimmy skit. lol

A 2017 pic from Kelly's Diving Deeper Women's Lifegroup!

Our Christmas mission project... I miss this group!

The complimentary menu at my dentist's office. lol  Thus far, I've taken them up on the laughing gas, warm blanket, and noise cancelling headphones. =)

I would argue that not all things can be mended, but I still love this quote.
Intentionality matters, and that last sentence resonates with me!
❤❤❤

"Vorld Ravelers" at Disney World, one year ago! ❤

I was cold enough to use my fireplace last night, and the cozy vibes made me happy!!

I'll close this post with a poignant quote:

"Perfectionism doesn't believe in practice shots.  It doesn't believe in improvement.  Perfectionism has never heard that anything worth doing is worth doing badly - and that if we allow ourselves to do something badly, we might, in time, become quite good at it.  Perfectionism measures our beginner's work against the finished work of masters.  Perfectionism thrives on comparison and competition... Perfectionism is a refusal to let yourself move ahead.  We correct our originality into a uniformity that lacks passion and spontaneity.
~Julia Cameron

Be an original,
let yourself try new things,
and keep a growth mindset!
❤ ❤ ❤

Metaphors and Masterpieces

Day 11:  If your life were a metaphor (e.g., a race, a garden, a song, a book),
what would it be and why?

Pic from my 5k training run this weekend

I'm all about metaphors, and I heard one yesterday that I LOVE:

Jon Tyson was on John Eldredge's podcast (yes, please, to that group hangout!), and he talked about a book called Great by Choice (already purchased as my next audible read).  He shared a story about two very different training approaches for serious mountain climbing... One group did 20 miles a day regardless of the weather.  They were consistent and focused, never allowing the weather or outside circumstances to dictate their gameplan for the day.  The other group was reactive, really pushing themselves and going 30-40 miles on the beautiful days, but setting up camp and waiting it out if there was a blizzard.  The first group reached their goal working together, and in spite of very rough weather, everyone survived and did well.  The second group experienced several deaths and losses, and most failed to reach the summit.  Jon compared that to our walk with God, emphasizing the need to be consistent in our spiritual disciplines rather than reacting to our daily mood or circumstances.  (It could apply to any number of things - consistency over reactivity.)

I'm happy God loves metaphor, too.  He uses a lot of metaphorical language, mostly gardening (Vine and branches, the parable of the good soil; trees planted by rivers of water; oaks of righteousness) and racing (the race marked out for you; throw off everything that hinders; run with endurance).  

His Word also has a lot to say about battle (your enemy prowls around like a roaring lion seeking someone to devour; the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds; put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground).  Importantly, this is not a fiction-based metaphor, but a literal spiritual reality that God wants us to be deeply aware of and on guard for.  Since John Eldredge forever changed my worldview about that in 2007, I have done my best to put hard things into that warfare context, but it's so easy to forget or lose sight of.  Our hearts are truly being targeted by a vicious enemy, and God is fighting to free our hearts (and wants us to join Him in setting others free)!  I've been reminded of that truth even earlier this week, and it is always crazy-helpful to view childhood trauma or any difficult things we face as adults through that context!!!  Everything begins to make more sense.

Since the war context doesn't count as an official metaphor, I will go with marathon training/running as the metaphor for my life - you can look back at any of my Marathon Monday posts for more cheesy musings on that topic.  Life is a marathon, not a sprint.  Consistent pacing and planning is key.  Training in all kinds of weather is helpful.  Inner grit and a solid community will keep you going.  You also need proper fuel and strength.  Take it one step at a time, celebrate the small milestones along the way, and be aware of the course marked out for you.  There are uphill battles and downhill coasting seasons, and that's all normal.  Having a clear prize and end goal in mind is really motivating.  It also helps to remember you have people supporting you and cheering you on (including a very real great cloud of witnesses in Heaven)!! ❤

But wait, there's more!! lol  Painting is another one that often comes to mind since it's a creative activity I enjoy... I've tried several abstract art paintings, then I continually rework and tweak and improve them. So I like thinking of my life as a blank canvas, and God and I are working together to create something beautiful there.  Some of the colors I thought would be most prominent are fading into the background now, while others that I didn't see clearly at first have started to shine and stand out.  I've tried to quit or assumed I did something irreparable a few times, but God carefully covers and corrects my errors (beauty for ashes, and love covering a multitude of sins).  It's all a bit messy and unfinished right now, but already deeply unique and valuable and worthy of love!  God is the master artist, and only He knows the planned design for where it's all headed, so asking for His direction is always the best course of wisdom.  Fortunately, He is still actively at work and enjoying the whole process, and He never gives up on the projects He begins.  And little by little, my life-canvas is growing in beauty and color and depth, being gradually perfected to better reflect the Creator artist. ❤ "For we are God's masterpiece.  He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things He planned for us long ago."  ~Ephesians 2:10

Yay, metaphors! ;-)  Okay, that's all I've got for you today - which was probably more than you asked for or expected. lol  

Happy 14th Anniversary to Bill & Jill!!

Also, Happy Veteran's Day, and a very sincere thank you to everyone who has served!!

❤ ❤ ❤

Monday, November 10, 2025

Discomfort Zone

Day 10:  Describe a time you stepped outside your comfort zone and what you learned.


Outside of "Nom nom for us, David," this is probably the Schitt's Creek line I think about most!

David Rose is high strung -- his nervous system is always buzzing in a way that's oddly endearing to people like me (and Patrick).  In this episode, he's panicking about retaking his driver's test, lamenting that people like Alexis seem to "skate through life" with fewer problems and worries.  As he spirals wanting to make a good impression, Alexis calmly reminds him: "People aren't thinking about you the way you're thinking about you."  Then as he's about to leave, she adds: "David, nobody cares!" 

I feel that.

Over the past three years, I've done loads of things that felt awkward, scary, and outside of my comfort zone -- like navigating solo trips, counseling role-plays, real sessions, big interviews, medical procedures, and tough conversations.  One step at a time, discomfort has pushed me to grow, to lean on God for strength and wisdom, to focus on the other person's comfort more than my own self-consciousness.  It strengthens me to remember 2 Timothy 1:7 (that God gives us power, love, and sound judgment; never fear).  And when my nervous system overreacts, it's liberating to breathe and remind myself, "nobody cares."  Life is messy, and most people are too busy thinking about their current needs or their own awkward moments to stop and scrutinize mine.  We have the option of coasting apathetically, but meaningful goals require us to do hard things.  I love you and believe in you, and I believe in your ability to choose courage over comfort when it matters!! ❤