Failure that Needs Forgiveness

 Happy Labor Day, friends and fam!  I hope you get to relax a bit and enjoy some time off!!

Two things that have been helpful to me lately on a soulful/spiritual level:

We may not have this in common, but when anyone hurts me, it is my very strong tendency to try to assume good intent in the other person, reminding myself of their good qualities, thinking about what they might be going through, how they might be having a hard day or have endured childhood pain I cannot understand or be processing life through a different lens, etc.  I would argue that it's valid and wise to remember that no one but Christ is perfect, and we are all flawed human beings who will hurt each other occasionally (and often unintentionally).  But sometimes in the midst of all that, I end up minimizing my own hurt and bypassing my own need for healing.

The idea that everyone is doing the best they can does not ring true for me or align with Scripture.  And I really loved the reminder from John Eldredge last week that our hurts and disappointments matter to God and should not be minimized or glossed over.  Especially with major betrayals or deeper childhood wounds, we need to view those events (or hurtful words or actions) as a FAILURE that needs to be FORGIVEN rather than an inadequacy that needs to be excused in the person who hurt us.  Yes, please to that truth bomb!  ...Trying to make excuses for things that were devastating and damaging is unhealthy, and ironically, it blocks our ability to see it clearly and forgive and move forward well.  Whatever else was behind it, there are multiple people who have failed to love me well, to see and hear me when I needed them, to show up and help out when it was within their power to do so... and I want to stop minimizing that failure.  We can have Christlike mercy and empathy toward others, but "you can only forgive someone genuinely once you name what you are forgiving."

Yes, John Eldredge, and thanks again!❤

Secondly, Psalm 147:3 says: "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds."

That verse has come to mind repeatedly as I am the makeshift wound-care nurse for Mom this month.  When I used to hear it, I would picture something more like a large Bandaid binding a minor cut.  This gives me a new context for it that feels more accurate and powerful.

The current wound on Mom's left leg is large - jarring for anyone the first time they see the graphic photos or see it in person.  (I won't post those pictures here, but it was an open oval-shaped wound, similar in size and appearance to a pound of raw ground hamburger meat.)  Now that her second surgery is completed, the wound care process has begun - we are cleaning it daily to prevent infection, gently washing, rinsing, and drying it, then carefully covering it with xeroform (a sterile, non-adhesive dressing soaked in petroleum jelly), cushioning it for comfort, wrapping all of that with layers of gauze, and securing the wrapped covering with an elastic-like burn net.  It is an ongoing and meticulous daily process that requires attentive care on a larger wound that will take months to fully heal -- which all feels like a far more accurate picture of what Jesus does for us when He heals our broken hearts and binds up our wounded souls.  And the truth of that image is comforting to me.

In summary (me talking to myself here):

Your heart matters,

And God is not indifferent to your wounds.

Acknowledge the places where others have failed you,

and then pray through forgiving them...

Trust Jesus to bind even the biggest, most raw and sharply painful wounds.

He is an expert on healing and restoration.

He is with you and for you.

He allows nothing without purpose,

And He cares enough to join you in the daily process of healing.

He will be patient and gradually renew your strength.

Take heart; the best is yet to come!

❤ ❤ ❤