Calling & Commitment

"Connection is the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued.  Never underestimate the power of BEING SEEN - it's exhausting to keep working against yourself when someone truly sees and loves you."  ~Brene Brown

Any fruit that ever comes from my future work in counseling, writing, or speaking, Dr. Burkhart will get some of the credit for it in Heaven.  The ripple effect of his Godly leadership is real, and I am SO GRATEFUL for his choice to really see, invest in, support, and exhort/encourage me.  My talk with him was the pivot point and the main reason I stayed in it when I was ready to leave the CCU Masters program in 2023, and he is now the reason I am surrendering the resistant side of myself to what God has been clarifying by sticking with the CES degree and charting a new course as a Colorado LPCC!

I sent him an email about a week before Mom's wreck explaining my situation and the desire to pursue the Liberty DSL degree... telling him I value his insight and would appreciate hearing any feedback or thoughts he had on that topic.  He did not say one negative word about Liberty (nor would I have expected that).  He said (paraphrased) "Liberty has a fantastic program, and I know they turn out a lot of great leaders...  (intentional pause looking at me...) and unfortunately, I can't hire them to teach here."  And that was the perfect clear, subtle, meaningful thing to say to me in that moment, and he probably knew that.  The rest of our talk that day was also good - he called me out on some of my small self-doubting comments and said he thinks I have a tendency to be very philosophical and think deeply about the things I hear, and he (correctly) thought I may have internalized some wrong ideas about myself related to the counseling profession.  He asked sincerely and wisely whether I loved the content of the Leadership course or the fact that I had a professor who really saw me and appreciated my work, and I answered honestly with both, expounding further on that.  

He told me he will cheer me on and write a very strong letter of recommendation for me if I feel sure this is the new direction where God is leading me, but that he wanted me to take a minute and be certain I am not walking away from counseling because I've made wrong assumptions or agreements that I am not cut out for it based on the fact that the path has been surprisingly difficult.  He said I am trying to bring light into a dark world and bring something functional into a profession that is somewhat broken and dysfunctional, and that is always going to be a hard road, and it's not because I am inadequate or in the wrong place, (but because Kingdom work is opposed).  He said he sees great potential in me to become an author, teacher, and speaker - that he would encourage me to get back on the horse and get my LPC hours if I decide to fight for this degree.  (And he emphasized again that there is no wrong decision here, and he didn't want me to stay in it for the wrong reasons either.)

But honestly, God had already spoken to me on July 28th (the Icy Strait Point whale watch excursion, Alaska cruise).  From that dramatically answered prayer to a series of daily Scripture emails from Chris Caine, it has been an incredibly clear and consistent message to stay the course and finish what I started at CCU, so I am diving back into it and doing my best to be wholehearted, set apart, and tuned into God's leadership in new ways!!  And part of that will include meeting more regularly with Dr. Burkhart to LEARN from him and help keep my vision and sense of identity/calling/commitment on track.  My respect for him is high, and he sees me and believes in me in a unique way that fuels my desire to become everything God intends for me to be!

In other news, re-reading this older post today was fascinating.  I wrote it three days before the appointment where I learned about the fibroids then gradually decided to let go of the embryo adoption dream.  And then, I took a year-long break from counseling and doctoral studies because I felt like I couldn't trust myself to hear clearly from God about anything.  But none of that is quite true.  The enemy was working overtime to kill, steal, and destroy what God was gradually building, but he will not get the last word in this story.  I'm thankful that we serve a God of hope, redemption, and renewal!  And after a year of being "offline" without a muted voice in the counseling realm, God is renewing that dream, and I am re-committing myself to *walk with Him* into a new era there as life moves forward!

(From my post on 9-12-2025:  A couple months back, John Eldredge warned that the enemy would be rolling out a new wave of death and despair... the death of dreams - the  temptation to lose heart, to despair... to give up, let things go, and quietly walk away from our God-given missions and callings.  And rather than cooperating with that by giving up or retreating from the fight (the pull toward that is stronger than usual right now)... our God-given role is to ENGAGE, to push forward, to shine, to be intentional in what God is uniquely calling us to do.

Where our spiritual enemy seeks to bring division, God's people are called to bring UNITY.

Wherever he is bringing death, we pray for and bring LIFE!!

He brings despair... we bring HOPE.

He brings chaos... we bring ORDER.

He brings anxiety... we pursue PEACE.

He pulls us toward sadness... we lean into JOY.

He dehumanizes... we lead with LOVE.

He brings darkness... we shine the LIGHT.

He assaults us with fear... we choose proactive FAITH.

He destroys... we RESTORE.

❤ ❤ ❤

(Also an appropriate message on this 25th anniversary of the 9-11 attack.  Jesus is still the light of all mankind, and His life, hope, faith, and love have the final word.)