Spring Break, Part 1

Also known as "Desk Week" at the OCC, a time to catch up on transcripts and enjoy some downtime without any virtual court hearings - it's been good and productive and well-timed!!

I joined Kristin and the boys for a trip to the OKC Zoo on Tuesday... and naturally, we got some fun pics!  I ❤ waterfalls!!

Diesel had the pink duck toy for a class project - he was supposed to bring it with him and take pictures of their adventures together - mission accomplished! lol

I appreciate the boys all being willing participants for my photos!!

In other news, I verrry randomly ordered overalls for the first time since 6th grade (on a podcast recommendation) - I felt silly and unsure where I'd ever wear them, so they've already been returned. lol  I also got some new swimsuits for the coming summer, so yay for that!

Mom's new Easter bows - love it!!

"A time to be quiet and a time to speak up" hit me this time.

It's always something new with this passage.

Amy made this caricature for us when I re-joined their research group for a project on trauma-informed counselor education! lol  I am likely headed back to school in October and will keep myself moving forward by helping out with this in the meantime!

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Distorted Reality

MINDSET SHIFT TIME!  I'm reminding myself of this lately:

There's a lot of truth to that.  I have "practiced noticing" all the best things about my favorite people and all the worst things about people who tend to annoy me.  I've practiced noticing God's goodness, but also practiced noticing what is wrong in the church.  Most recently, I have practiced noticing what makes the counseling profession difficult, but have not been actively seeking what makes it valuable and rewarding.  I've practiced noticing how difficult the first part of dating is (the online search, the small talk, the buildup, the potential rejection anxiety)... but haven't practiced thinking about all that could go right, and my low expectations of men (NOT low standards, but the educated belief that most men will fail to live up to them) sometimes become a self-fulfilling prophecy.  

So I want to practice noticing what is good and pure and lovely and uplifting, Philippians 4:8 style!!

I've been in kind of a rough headspace lately, feeling shame and wanting to disappear and hide, but this is helping me. I was practicing noticing my own faults and failings and struggle to find purpose, rather than practicing noticing all the opportunities to do meaningful things in the life I have right now.  I need to give my heart some space to grieve for the life I wish I had in this season - and then I need to pull it together and move forward.  It's the major themes versus the minor themes John Eldredge often talks about.

To be dramatic but honest, my heart has felt like a wilderness or desert... dry, barren, empty, parched, hidden, weary.... (not a mom, not a wife, not a counselor, not an author)... desolate, unchosen, unfruitful.  And the verse I read today about God bringing abundant flowers and singing and joy into the desert (Isaiah 35:1-2) was really a refreshing breath of fresh air for my soul and spirit!

I am believing Him for that kind of redemptive beauty in my life story!! ❤  Lather, rinse, repeat.

And that's all for this post.

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Paige Evelyn

Yesterday, I got to meet Miss Paige Evelyn Wilson,
my new honorary niece and Mini-BFF! ❤ 

Chet sent this pic from her BIRTHday ❤

Parker's first time meeting and holding her - ADORABLE!!

She was excited to hold her again when I was there on day 2!  These sibling pics make me happy!!

Three generations. ❤

I wore pink for the occasion!

The Wonderful Wilson Fam, party of five (plus one in Heaven)! ❤

Looking forward to the shower next month (I'm helping Debbie Robinson host that) - this is our FB event pic when the name was still TBD.  They decided on Paige soon after she was born, then the middle name was officially chosen on 3-14.

She was delivered via C-section on Friday the 13th - look at her all swaddled and cozy in her floral blanket!  ...Chettles told me they had a board for me to write on, so I was practicing for a much larger chalkboard, then laughed when I saw this.  No space for calligraphy spins or fun hand lettering, but still very cute!! ❤

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Marching On!!

While still working and prioritizing people I care about, I gave myself grace to take a legit break from a few things in January and February.  And now that March has arrived, I am embracing the natural growth and vibrant new life that comes with Springtime!!

The 1st day of March included signing up for a year of eHarmony and making an appointment to discuss Zepbound medication.  And here on day 15, I have officially started the lowest dose of Zepbound, texted with an eHarmony match, reconnected with CCU friends and joined a extracurricular group project with Amy and Faith, spoken with my Student Services Advisor about potentially resuming PhD classes in October, helped plan a baby shower for my favorite fam, welcomed my newest niece, reconnected with several old friends, learned about potential job changes at the OCC this fall, jumped back into the Peloton "HardCore" workout calendar, and signed up for a bungee fitness class in Moore!  Yay, Spring! lol

I've pushed myself to be busier and more productive on transcripts and other life goals lately.

I have not, however, felt very connected with God...

My soul thirsts for God, the living God, in a dry and weary land where there is no water.

That's been my phone screensaver for a bit, and it's a true story.

I think I am feeling a little forgotten/abandoned/hurt/disoriented about where to find purpose and whether anything I pursue and care about really makes a difference or even matters to God - whether He is invested in my story or kinda checked out and leaving me to fend for myself -- and I really, really need to take those thoughts captive, separate the light from the darkness, and draw near to Him.  I can feel myself being resistant lately, focusing on TV and friendships and busywork more than what matters most.  All other ground is sinking sand - and I'm reminding myself of that right now.  I will start my Renewal Write the Word prayer journal tomorrow morning, and I will make a new Power Thoughts list and video for this season.  I'm committing to that right now.

Shifting gears, here are some fun pics from a family dinner and game night earlier this month!  (Jace is trying to get us to guess the word "synagogue" by putting a styrofoam bowl on his head to play the Rabbi Simeon role from their 4th grade play! lol)

Yes to this.  Move on, learn, and adjust!

We got to catch up with Kate during Kyndal's Texas VB tournament - she's training for the Bike MS race in May, and I admire her resilient spirit and heart for Jesus! ❤

It's always fun to watch them!

Checking out the after-Christmas sales at Decorator's Warehouse (Texas's largest Christmas store) with Mom!

We had dinner with Kate and Evelyn on Friday, then her whole fam came to watch Kyndal play on Saturday! =)

Girls pic just before our drive back to Oklahoma!

Embracing the Peloton bike and app... this was Cody's 20-minute Guardians of the Galaxy ride (with music from that movie and Disney ride) - fun times!

While the bike workouts are great (and far more challenging now with the real Peloton bike), I really love being outside more often this year with my more relaxed remote schedule!!

This = a fun FaceTime catchup with Chettles and Sarah (at her AirBNB in Tahlequah) a couple days before baby Paige arrived... more on that in my next post!

Here's to Springtime and moving forward and March-ing on.

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Hope Floats

  The rest of February was mostly relaxed.  I stand by my decision to take a break from school and not put extra pressure on myself to set new goals through January and February (of course, I did technically set dating goals in that season, but that's okay).

I felt some serious burnout with the counseling profession and schoolwork at the end of last year, along with sadness and confusion over what God is up to and what I should do with my desire for a family.

I don't have a lot of answers at this point, but I am grateful for the resilient nature of Kingdom hope.  For the knowledge that "when we go through deep waters," God is with us and for us.  The verse does not say if, but when.  No one gets through life unscathed, but we get to choose our response and whether we anchor our souls in the hope of Heaven.

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This was encouraging for me - believe in your ability to figure things out - YES!

And now, a couple lighter memes:

The Mini Miss K is being bullied by a petty former Coach in the club volleyball world.  It's absurdly poor leadership, and it is not okay, and I hope there is systemic change there.

In the meantime, I hope she knows she is loved and supported and valued and worth fighting for!

This = her Rise team taking silver in a Valentine's Day tournament!

Pierson, Emma, Addy, Alivia, Jacelyn, Coach Kate, Aniston, Kyndal, Kennedy, and Jayla!

Aunt Lindsey, Miss K, and her Mom!

Fierce serving power!!

The sassiness and leadership are strong with her! ❤

Valentine's Day is centered right between Rach and my birthday, and it also happens to be K-Faith's half-birthday! lol

Speaking of Valentine's day, here's a throwback to our 2010 Johnny Carino's dinner, or "the lonely hearts club dinner" as JEM calls it. lol  I'm sure Chettles and Natertot were entertaining for me, along with Sarah and Jeffrey close by.

Mmkay that's all for this post!

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