Happy Friday, friends. Mel Robbins had Kellie Gerardi on her podcast this week, and they talked about Kellie's career as a researcher and astronaut. They also discussed her public journey with IVF and the high anticipatory stress and multiple miscarriages she has endured. Parts of it felt very timely and encouraging, and I'm confident I'll share more of my thoughts next week.
My top takeaways:
On Her IVF Journey:
- "The journey of infertility and loss is not new to me, but sharing it in real time certainly is... I've reached this point where I was sharing so much about my personal life and my work that it felt remiss to not be talking about the 1,000-pound elephant that was sitting on top of me in my life. And I think that is such an insidious part of IVF is that it becomes so all-consuming... mentally, emotionally, physically, financially, no matter how full your life is, this becomes the A-plot... This fertility odyssey is something that so many women navigate invisibly and still show up to everything else in their life because they have to, and I really wanted to de-stigmatize that and show other women they are not alone." -Kellie
On Grief, Hope, and Vulnerability
- "I would rather spend nine weeks living in hope and optimism, and then feel disappointed than to brace for nine weeks... In the waiting, I feel like I'm actually holding energy that something negative is going to happen if I'm living in a state of bracing instead of a state of celebration!" -Mel
Grief is not something we have to carry in silence. Sharing our struggles invites support, not pity.
Hope doesn’t increase the disappointment, but it makes the waiting more meaningful.
Anxiety is natural, but catastrophizing drains our joy. It's best to let ourselves feel the excitement and possibility of what could go right.
On Community and Transparency
- "There was such a low chance that something could go wrong at this point. And then you realize that there are always people who fall on the sad side of those statistics, and this time, I was one of them... So often, we're made to feel like this is our private burden to navigate in isolation, and I reject that... That's not how I want to live. I wanted the support; I wanted to lean on my community because this was devastating. And I did share in real time." -Kellie
Transparency relieves the pressure while revealing who is truly in our corner.
- "No one wants to be perceived as the one who's pitied when everyone else is enjoying success, and it can be so limiting to carry that burden. My biggest takeaway from all of this is that sharing your struggles does not make you a burden to the people who care about you." -Kellie
On Resilience and Reinvention
- "When I hit a brick wall, I am changing my approach, not my goal." -Kellie
Success often comes from failing more times than others are willing to try.
Reinvention is possible at any age or stage of life!
Keep asking yourself: Who am I now? What drains me, and what energizes me? It helps you decide where to spend your energy.
On Courage and Playing Big
- "People will judge you whether you're playing small or playing big... let them. And you might as well play big!" -Mel
Naming your fears shrinks them. "When you examine: What is it I'm actually afraid of [in other people's reactions]? And if you put it down on a piece of paper, you recognize it's not that scary, and actually, it's kind of ridiculous." -Mel
True grit and resilience means getting back up over and over, and letting people watch and help and cheer you on along the way.
"Give yourself permission to reach a little bit higher... Double down on the bet on yourself, and make sure you're not applying other people's limits on your own dreams." -Kellie
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