Doctoral Residency, Part 2!

Writing from a hotel room in Goodland, Kansas tonight!  Grateful for a comfy bed - the dorm mattresses are rough - 3.5 hours down, 6.5 to go tomorrow!

This = Friday breakfast with Ashley and Robyn, one of my favorite parts of this CES Residency!  They were the role play students that I "mentored" or supervised last year.  We had some great talks then and I gave them a list of tips and professor recommendations as they were beginning the Master's program.  So glad I texted them on Thursday ~ they were both back in CO as roommates at MAC Res 2, and we decided to meet up at 7am for breakfast... an hour and a half wasn't really enough time, but it was great to hear about their first year in the program, the internship sites they've found for this coming August, and their interest in the PhD program - which we discussed quite a bit, as well!  They both said thanks for the tips I gave them last year - they've had fantastic professors and are absolutely loving the program so far, so we were all just CCU fangirls talking it up! lol  Anyway, it was great to see them and catch up, and it really encouraged me to hear how something that took a small effort on my part made a big difference in their lives. ❤

Last July at their Res 1 and my Res 3 (they pair people up for role play exercises, then you work together the whole week coaching/supporting them as they practice counseling each other).

On that note, Christian counselors make awesome friends - the listening skills, the sincere empathy, and the strong tendency to dive right on into the deeper topics is such a breath of fresh air every time I'm surrounded by CCU Counseling Students!

Me and Heather Martinez, my roommate this year (there are three rooms that connect to the same living room common area - it was me and Heather, Alicia and Charisse, and Michelle and Laura)!  Heather is a wife and a mom of one boy and two girls, and she's already working as an LPC-Supervisor with a thriving counseling practice!

Finally getting to know Faith Smith, a peer from my CCU Master's cohort (but we had no classes together that whole time).  She and I helped co-lead Dr. Brashear's group of Masters Res 2 students yesterday, and it was awesome to hear their stories and stresses and answer their questions and encourage them and share a bit about our Practicum and Internship experiences!!  I loved being in that role and connecting with/encouraging people who are just a few steps behind me, and that reminder was a gift as I've been considering whether I would really enjoy a teaching/supervising role!

Alicia, Elyse, and Ellie taking a stretch break! lol

Everyone else got a drink with dinner last night, so I got a fun cheers-ing pic!

After our Saturday dinner at Lady Nomada (where we ran into Dr. Robinson from CCU)!

Me and Alicia and Terri went to see Thunderbolts after dinner... then had a great talk about how the movie illustrates shame/depression and the way we need community!

I love this campus.  That's all.

Worship session Sunday morning!

❤❤❤

The majority of today was "Super Statistical Sunday," where Dr. Wood talked with us for a long time about Quantitative Research and the SPSS software that will help with our calculations.  It wasn't as bad as I'd expected, and I'm quite thankful we're not having to memorize formulas or do any math by hand.  I can input data into a spreadsheet with the best of them. lol

After a long day of mostly stats work, it was soooo refreshing to end with a 40-minute lecture from Dr. Burkhart, followed by the group photo I'd been wanting all day, then the commissioning ceremony and closing prayer!

I so respect and value the Godly leaders at this school!  Also, I sent this pic to Chet because this slide made me think of him - he's good at most if not all of these "leadership paradoxes."

The new Considine Chapel... in a last-minute decision, Dr. Burkhart let us come in there for the group photo, then we stayed there for the final session, and it felt sacred in a way I can't really explain well in words.

Above = the 17 students in my cohort, along with Dr. Sara Wood, Dr. Gregg Elliott, and Dr. Selin Philip!

I'm so grateful for the words spoken to us and over us today!

Dr. Philip (in her humble but powerful way):  "Trust the process, and trust the God behind the process... Welcome to this holy, sacred work of leadership!"  

Dr. Elliott:  "You are where you are supposed to be - do not let go of it easily!  You made this decision with fortitude and faith and determination... and the only way you won't make it through at this point is if you choose not to make it!" ❤

The Res 2 doctoral students (CCU's first cohort) gathered around us along with the faculty and prayed over us... then we did the same surrounding them, and Dr. Burkhart prayed for all of us.  He started off with "Lord, I'm most grateful for when You showed up in moments of transition and seasons of change, when I needed guidance and had to make decisions that were scary or hard..."

I really felt that.  In spite of my deep love for CCU, I am not entirely sure that this is what I'm supposed to do with my life in this season.  Life tends to throw curveballs when we least expect it.  The adoption door is still in question for me, and I believe motherhood could also be a high calling and a vital role in God's Kingdom, and I have valid doubts about my ability to do both well in my current situation... Anyway, while thinking through all of that very quickly, Dr. Burkhart ended his prayer with:  "We pray that these students would advance Your Kingdom and Your mission and Your purpose in whatever role they find themselves!"  I was holding hands with Faith Smith and Dr. Wood, and I had tears rolling down both sides of my face at that point.  Because YES, Lord - that is the actual point - and I felt so much freedom as I heard him say that.  Honestly, the PhD is within reach for me, but it is just one of MANY ways that I might be able to advance God's Kingdom and mission - there is no pressure from God or no sense that this is the only way I can honor Him with my life - so I'm moving forward with classes and doing my best for now while holding these dreams loosely and keeping my heart open and surrendered to God's leading.  Not my will, but His purpose for me.  Dr. Philip gave each of us first-year students a bag of mustard seeds as a reminder that although we may feel small right now, God can grow our lives into something that nourishes others when we stay rooted in Him.  She gave each of the year 3 students a towel tied in a bow to remind them of Jesus' example of washing feet and serving others even as He led with great authority.  She's phenomenal, and I want to become her real life actual friend. lol

I can't say I have full clarity on what will happen moving forward, but I do have renewed peace and faith. ❤

If God chooses not to open the door for motherhood, then I will probably be back on the CCU campus in 2027, ready to complete my dissertation and move forward in my career calling.  If I become a Mom by that time, then I'll pray about it and hope to be back at CCU down the road.  I have six years from now to complete the PhD degree, so I'm aware of that ticking timeline, and I'm grateful to know that God has a good plan!  Whether it's two years or five years or somewhere in between there, I pray that God richly blesses Colorado Christian University until we meet again! =)

I love you and believe in you, and Jesus does too!  May we all advance God's Kingdom, His mission, and His purpose - right where we are today!

❤ ❤ ❤